Follow Me: The Cross as a Way of Love

Matthew marks a turning point when Jesus begins to tell his disciples what lies ahead: Jerusalem, suffering, rejection, death, and resurrection. Jesus does not merely give one hard announcement. Jesus opens a whole new chapter, because the disciples must learn that the Messiah does not win by avoiding the cross.

Peter’s confession that Jesus is the Messiah stands beside Peter’s misunderstanding of what Messiah means. Peter wants a powerful, victorious, unstoppable Savior, but Peter wants God’s plan without the cross. Peter tries to protect Jesus when he says, “God forbid it, Lord,” yet Peter is also trying to tell Jesus where to go. Jesus answers with hard words, “Get behind me,” because a disciple belongs behind Jesus, not out front trying to lead him.

Jesus calls the crowd to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow him. The cross does not mean chasing pain, accepting abuse, or calling someone else’s cruelty holy. The cross is not a religious excuse to remain in danger or mistreatment. The cross is a direction, pointing toward the places where love is needed and where fear would rather protect itself.

Jesus names the deep paradox of the gospel: those who save their lives lose them, and those who lose their lives for his sake find them. A life spent guarding comfort, security, possessions, opinions, and control can still miss the very thing that makes life worth living. Love that costs something can give life back fuller, deeper, freer, rooted in grace, and shaped by love.

Dolly Parton’s generosity offers a small glimpse of this truth. Her success could have been simply accumulated, yet her Imagination Library gave away more than 270 million books to children. Her life raises the question of whether a life well lived is measured only by what it holds onto, or also by the kindness, hope, encouragement, and second chances it gives away.

Jesus leads his followers into ordinary acts of costly love: telling the truth, seeking or offering forgiveness, standing with someone who suffers, releasing a grudge, listening, making room, and choosing mercy over judgment. Jesus reveals God’s love by walking faithfully toward hard things. The cross is not proof that God has abandoned his people. The cross is the sign that God’s love refuses to abandon them.

Jesus has already walked the road of suffering, rejection, fear, loss, and death, and Jesus also knows resurrection. Jesus invites fearful disciples not to control the outcome, but simply to get behind him and follow. The way of the cross is finally the way of love and the way of life.

##

---

Key Takeaways

• 1. Get behind Jesus and follow Peter’s mistake was not loving Jesus too much, but trying to direct Jesus according to his own idea of safety and victory. Discipleship begins when control is surrendered and Christ is allowed to set the direction. Jesus’ hard word puts Peter in the place where grace can reshape him: behind the Lord, following. [28:30]
• 2. The cross is a direction The cross does not glorify pain or make suffering automatically holy. The cross leads toward costly love, especially where fear, convenience, and self-protection would rather turn away. Christ calls his people to move toward mercy, truth, and compassion. [30:40]
• 3. Life is found in giving Jesus exposes the emptiness of a life built only around preservation and control. Love can feel like loss because it gives something real away, yet God returns such a life with a depth that self-protection can never create. What is released in love is not finally wasted. [31:52]
• 4. God’s love refuses abandonment The cross does not reveal God standing at a safe distance from human pain. Jesus enters suffering, rejection, fear, and loss, then walks through death into resurrection. Christ’s presence means the hardest road is never a road he refuses to walk himself.
  
  ## [37:57]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [24:07] - A Conversation Changes
• [24:48] - Jesus Foretells the Cross
• [25:54] - Peter’s Picture of Messiah
• [27:51] - Get Behind Me
• [28:55] - What Taking Up the Cross Means
• [30:14] - The Cross Is a Direction
• [31:01] - Losing Life to Find It
• [32:15] - Dolly Parton and Generosity
• [34:56] - Ordinary Ways to Follow Jesus
• [36:16] - Following into Compassion
• [37:12] - Love That Refuses to Abandon
• [38:32] - Resurrection on the Other Side
• [39:38] - The Love That Remains
• [40:06] - Prayer

Bible Reading

Matthew 16:21–28

21 From that time Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. [24:48]

22 And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “Far be it from you, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” [26:58]

23 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me. For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” [27:45]

24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” [28:38]

25 For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. [31:05]

26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

27 For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.

28 Truly, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.

Mark 8:31–38

And he began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again. And he said this plainly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and seeing his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.” And calling the crowd to him with his disciples, he said to them, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of him will the Son of Man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”

Luke 9:22–25

saying, “The Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised.” And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses or forfeits himself?”

Observation questions

1. What does Jesus say must happen to him in Matthew 16:21, and what part of his words does Peter strongly reject?
2. What contrast does Jesus make between “the things of God” and “the things of man” when he responds to Peter?
3. Jesus calls people not only to take up their cross, but also to “follow me.” What difference does that added phrase make in the passage? [28:55]
4. What kinds of things can a person try to preserve or protect, yet still lose the life Jesus says is truly worth finding? [31:16]

Interpretation questions

1. Why is Peter’s attempt to protect Jesus also an attempt to lead Jesus? What does “Get behind me” reveal about the proper place of a disciple? [28:10]
2. Jesus says that denying oneself and taking up the cross is not the same as seeking pain or accepting abuse. How does this protect the meaning of Jesus’ command from being misused? [29:38]
3. What might Jesus mean by saying that a person who tries to save life will lose it, while a person who loses life for his sake will find it? [31:05]
4. How does Jesus’ promise of resurrection change the way believers understand suffering, rejection, and costly obedience? [38:32]

Application questions

1. Where are you most tempted to tell Jesus where he ought to lead—perhaps in a relationship, a fear, a conflict, a future plan, or something you want to control? What could it look like to get behind him and follow instead? [36:16]
2. Is there a situation where fear has led you to protect your comfort, reputation, possessions, opinions, or security rather than love someone well? What is one small, faithful step toward love you could take?
3. Taking up the cross can look ordinary: telling the truth, listening, making room, offering help, or choosing mercy over judgment. Which of these feels especially needed in your life this week? [35:39]
4. Is there a grudge, fear, or fixed story about another person that has been shaping your actions for too long? What might releasing it to God look like? [35:27]
5. Where do you see someone hurting, overlooked, or pushed aside? How might you stand with that person in a way that is caring, wise, and appropriate? [36:47]
6. Jesus does not ask his people to walk a road he has refused to walk himself. In what hardship, loss, or uncertainty do you most need to remember that Jesus is present with you and knows the road? [37:39]
7. What is one kindness, word of encouragement, act of generosity, or second chance that you could give away this week? How might that be a way of finding life through love? [33:43]