Five Steps to Becoming a Better Father
Summary
### Summary
Happy Father's Day, Calvary Community Church! Today, we took a break from our usual study of the life of Jesus Christ to focus on fatherhood and how to be a better dad. This message is not just for fathers but for all men, young men, single moms, and anyone who can benefit from God's word. We explored the theme through a story about a father who discreetly helped another father in need, illustrating the power of generosity and kindness. This story set the stage for our main topic: "Just Five Steps, How to Be a Better Father."
We discussed five practical steps to improve as fathers and men. The first step is understanding that "Money Matters." We delved into 1 Timothy 5:8, emphasizing the importance of providing for our families and being wise stewards of God's money. The second step is "Managing Time," where we looked at Ephesians 5:15-16 and Deuteronomy 6:5-7, stressing the need to prioritize family time and balance work and home life. The third step is "Overcoming the Flesh," inspired by Romans 7:18-19, where we acknowledged our weaknesses and sought God's strength to overcome them.
The fourth step is "Lead by Example," where we focused on Titus 2:7 and discussed ten traits of Christ that we should emulate, such as being loving, humble, compassionate, and forgiving. The final step is "Know Yourself," based on Psalm 139:23-24, encouraging self-reflection and inviting others into our lives to help us grow.
These steps are not just theoretical but actionable, aiming to transform us into better fathers, men, and followers of Christ. Let's commit to these steps and ask God to bless our efforts.
### Key Takeaways
1. Money Matters: Wise Stewardship and Generosity
- Providing for our families is a biblical mandate, as seen in 1 Timothy 5:8. Wise stewardship starts with a budget and living within our means. Generosity, even in small acts like buying someone a cup of coffee, reflects the heart of Christ and can make a significant impact. [12:33]
2. Managing Time: Prioritizing Family and God
- Ephesians 5:15-16 and Deuteronomy 6:5-7 remind us to make the most of every opportunity and prioritize our family time. This involves setting aside distractions like phones and TV to engage meaningfully with our loved ones. Balancing work and home life is crucial for a fulfilling and God-centered life. [20:39]
3. Overcoming the Flesh: Acknowledging Weaknesses and Seeking Strength
- Romans 7:18-19 highlights the struggle against our sinful nature. Acknowledging our weaknesses, confessing our sins, and seeking God's strength are essential steps. Having an accountability partner can provide the support needed to overcome these challenges. [26:13]
4. Lead by Example: Emulating Christ's Traits
- Titus 2:7 calls us to set an example by doing what is good. Emulating Christ's traits such as love, humility, compassion, and forgiveness can profoundly impact those around us. Reflecting on these traits and striving to embody them in our daily lives is crucial for spiritual growth. [29:45]
5. Know Yourself: Self-Reflection and Vulnerability
- Psalm 139:23-24 encourages us to invite God to search our hearts and reveal any offensive ways. Self-reflection and being present in our relationships help us grow. Trusting others with our vulnerabilities can lead to significant personal and spiritual development. [38:54]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[02:09] - Introduction: Father's Day
[03:19] - Story of Generosity
[06:59] - Inspiration for the Message
[09:20] - Prayer and Introduction to Five Steps
[10:18] - Step 1: Money Matters
[19:20] - Step 2: Managing Time
[26:13] - Step 3: Overcoming the Flesh
[29:45] - Step 4: Lead by Example
[38:23] - Step 5: Know Yourself
[43:56] - Communion Instructions
[44:26] - Review and Conclusion
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
1. 1 Timothy 5:8 - "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
2. Ephesians 5:15-16 - "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
3. Psalm 139:23-24 - "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"
### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Timothy 5:8, what is the consequence of not providing for one's family?
2. In Ephesians 5:15-16, what are believers encouraged to do with their time?
3. What does Psalm 139:23-24 ask God to do in the life of the believer?
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Paul in 1 Timothy 5:8 place such a strong emphasis on providing for one's family? How does this relate to the concept of wise stewardship discussed in the sermon?
2. How can making the best use of time, as mentioned in Ephesians 5:15-16, impact one's family life and spiritual growth?
3. What does it mean to invite God to search our hearts and reveal any offensive ways, as described in Psalm 139:23-24? How can this practice lead to personal and spiritual development?
### Application Questions
1. Money Matters: Reflect on your current financial habits. Are there areas where you can practice better stewardship? What steps can you take this week to create or adjust your budget to align with biblical principles of generosity and wise spending?
2. Managing Time: Identify one distraction that prevents you from spending quality time with your family. What specific action can you take to minimize this distraction and prioritize meaningful family interactions this week?
3. Overcoming the Flesh: Think about a personal weakness or sin you struggle with. Who can you invite to be your accountability partner to help you overcome this challenge? How will you approach them for support?
4. Lead by Example: Choose one trait of Christ (e.g., love, humility, compassion) that you want to emulate more in your daily life. What specific actions can you take to demonstrate this trait to your family and community this week?
5. Know Yourself: Spend time in self-reflection and prayer, asking God to reveal areas in your life that need growth. Write down one strength and one weakness. Share these with a trusted friend or family member and ask for their prayers and support in your journey of self-improvement.
6. Generosity in Action: Plan a small act of generosity you can perform this week, such as buying someone a cup of coffee or helping a neighbor. How can this act reflect the heart of Christ and impact those around you?
7. Balancing Work and Home Life: Evaluate your current work-life balance. Are there adjustments you can make to ensure you are not neglecting your family? What practical steps can you take to create a healthier balance?
Devotional
Day 1: Wise Stewardship and Generosity
Understanding the importance of money in our lives is crucial for being a better father and follower of Christ. 1 Timothy 5:8 emphasizes the biblical mandate to provide for our families. This involves not just earning money but also being wise stewards of it. Creating a budget and living within our means are practical steps that reflect our commitment to this principle. Additionally, small acts of generosity, such as buying someone a cup of coffee, can have a significant impact and reflect the heart of Christ. These actions demonstrate that we are not just focused on our own needs but are also willing to help others in their time of need. [12:33]
1 Timothy 5:8 (ESV): "But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Reflection: How can you create a budget that allows you to live within your means while also setting aside money for acts of generosity?
Day 2: Prioritizing Family and God
Managing time effectively is essential for a fulfilling and God-centered life. Ephesians 5:15-16 and Deuteronomy 6:5-7 remind us to make the most of every opportunity and prioritize our family time. This involves setting aside distractions like phones and TV to engage meaningfully with our loved ones. Balancing work and home life is crucial, and it requires intentional effort to ensure that we are present for our families. By prioritizing family time, we not only strengthen our relationships but also set a positive example for our children. [20:39]
Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV): "Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Reflection: What distractions can you eliminate or reduce to spend more meaningful time with your family this week?
Day 3: Acknowledging Weaknesses and Seeking Strength
Overcoming the flesh is a daily struggle that requires us to acknowledge our weaknesses and seek God's strength. Romans 7:18-19 highlights the internal battle we face against our sinful nature. By confessing our sins and seeking God's help, we can begin to overcome these challenges. Having an accountability partner can provide the support needed to stay on track. This step is not about achieving perfection but about recognizing our need for God's grace and strength in our lives. [26:13]
Romans 7:18-19 (ESV): "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing."
Reflection: Who can you ask to be your accountability partner in your journey to overcome your weaknesses?
Day 4: Emulating Christ's Traits
Leading by example is a powerful way to influence those around us. Titus 2:7 calls us to set an example by doing what is good. Emulating Christ's traits such as love, humility, compassion, and forgiveness can profoundly impact our families and communities. Reflecting on these traits and striving to embody them in our daily lives is crucial for spiritual growth. By living out these qualities, we not only grow closer to Christ but also inspire others to do the same. [29:45]
Titus 2:7 (ESV): "Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity."
Reflection: Which trait of Christ do you find most challenging to emulate, and how can you work on incorporating it into your daily life?
Day 5: Self-Reflection and Vulnerability
Knowing yourself is essential for personal and spiritual growth. Psalm 139:23-24 encourages us to invite God to search our hearts and reveal any offensive ways. Self-reflection and being present in our relationships help us grow. Trusting others with our vulnerabilities can lead to significant personal and spiritual development. By being open and honest about our struggles, we allow God to work in our lives and help us become better fathers, men, and followers of Christ. [38:54]
Psalm 139:23-24 (ESV): "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!"
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to invite God to search your heart and reveal any offensive ways? How can you be more vulnerable with those you trust?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "The moral of the story is that we too can see and share this kind of love. This kind of faithfulness. This kind of generosity. This kind of tactfulness. In the little things that we do in our lives. It might be paying for the person. Behind you. In the McDonald's drive-thru. Or wherever drive-thru you go through. Or Starbucks. Or Dunkin' Donut. Just a cup of coffee. It does make your day. Doesn't it? What we don't do. Here's the problem is. We don't ask for those opportunities. And we don't have the forethought to say, okay, Lord. I want to be able to bless somebody today. Even if it's $5 or $50 or $500 or $20. But this kind of activity. Is what. Is what the church of Christ should be abuzz about regularly. Amen, church family? And especially dads leading the way." (54 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "The enemy wants to keep you from discovering God's principles governing financial stewardship, giving and blessing. And he asked, why? And he said, because once you do, it'll change every area of your life, from your marriage to your health and finances. It will also impact the kingdom of God. And he says this last sentence, When God changes your heart from selfishness to generosity, every part of your life is affected." (29 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "Basically, what that means is, we need to spend more time with our kids. We need to take the phone from them and put it aside. We need to close the laptop or iPad. We need to turn the TV off, and we need to spend time eyeball to eyeball asking them how their day went. Asking them how things are going. Being ready to pray for them. Can you guys say amen? Right? What would America look like if that was it? But that means that we, including our kids, need to get rid of our old habits. And find and replace them with new habits." (39 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "So know this. Money matters. Matters is extremely important. Think about this. This is what I want you to do. I want you to think about this idea. To be debt-free, free from car payments, free from frivolous spending, free from the pressure of all these bills that have mounted up in your life, would it not be nice to be out of debt? Amen? Can you picture that? Do this. Okay, so here's... Here's the actionable point. Do this. Get some financial coach. And if you need somebody, let me know. Fill out a connection card, and I'll connect you." (43 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "So know this, winning in your walk with Christ is hard work, but it's worth it. So, church family, keep on fighting the good fight, because when you do, it'll make a difference for the kingdom of God. Can you say amen? Think about this, which character trait do you need to work on the most out of those ten? Maybe one of them didn't make the list. We'll add that too. So do this, decide right now to surrender everything to Christ, including those ten lists of character traits that we want to have. Make that decision right now. Say, I'm going to follow you, Jesus." (45 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "So the first one, the first step, we're calling them steps because steps are easier. And money matters, we're going to talk about first. Second step is managing time. Third is overcoming the flesh. The fourth is lead by example. The fifth is to know yourself. And that's perhaps the most unorthodox one of the five because it's a little peculiar to even talk about it. But I think that you'll enjoy the points we're going to make from this." (33 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "So what we should do is we should reconsider how we live our lives. We should, husband and wife should talk reasonably about how things might improve or change. Now, the problem that happens is far too often when husbands and wives have this tension with this great big thing with a career that's going, is that, the problems get so big, it's kind of tantamount to a home burning to the ground. And then someone knocks on my door and says, hey, Pastor Bob, our marriage is kind of in trouble. He says, well, tell me what happened. Well, our house, the parallel, not only our marriage has fallen apart, now we filed for divorce, and you want some counseling. Well, you should have come before the spark was lit. So our idea of, waiting to the last minute to try to get some help is what should change, and you ought to rearrange in your lives so that you can get some help ahead of time. Because sometimes we all need help. We need some coaching with people who've been there and done that." (70 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "So know this. Here's the point. The war that we're going to be in is constant, but we need to keep on fighting in the spirit. Think about this. Would your life improve by being victorious in your greatest areas of weakness? Would you not grow if you had victory in those areas of your lives? And do this. Give someone permission in your life to ask the hard questions, not the softball questions. Overcoming the flesh and the frustrations and failures." (37 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "So here they are. 10 traits of Christ we should be familiar with so that we can shadow him. One is be loving to one another. Basically, this selfless and sacrificial love for one another. This scripture says that they'll know you for the love that you have for one another. Be humble. Count others more significant than you. And if someone cuts in front of you, say, okay, have a nice day. Either in the grocery store or on US1. You're not going to put out your guns blazing. You say, all right, no problem. Be humble. Be compassionate to others, even those that it's easy to despise. And I'm telling you, the political climate's heating up a little bit. And there's two really wide separation between the two parties. I mean, it's not a narrow aisle, perhaps like it used to be. It's gotten wider and wider and wider and wider. So we have to be sure that we're not firing away, letting them have it. I know we want to expose the evil the scriptures tell us that, but we want to be, we want to be really wise how we do it. And I've blown it myself. I confess, confession's good for the soul. Lord, forgive me for being stupid. I'm so sorry. They deserved it. No, they didn't deserve it. No, it's what I felt at the time, though. Come on, you guys have done it too, right? Come on, think about it. Jesus, get them. The Psalms are filled with what's called imprecatory prayers. Lord, burn their house to the ground. Kill all their cattle. Don't let them drink water for a week. So we oftentimes, Jesus, why do we got to be so loving? Why can't we fight once in a while? I know you guys will laugh because you agree with it, right?" (123 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "So know this, life is shortened, and only you can make the changes that we're talking about today. Nobody like me, I'm not putting a gun to your head. If the Holy Spirit inspires you to make a move, make a change, do something about it, then you might want to do it. Think about this. What if the advice you heard today could really make a difference in your life? Where would you start? Where would you rearrange your priorities with the time that you have? With the time you spend at work? And finally, do this. Sort out your priorities, manage your time, and get rid of the distractions. That's simple." (33 seconds)(Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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