Finding Worth: Overcoming Feelings of Being Taken for Granted
Summary
### Summary
Good morning, everyone! I hope you're all doing well today. We've been in a series called "He Gets Us," where we've been exploring how Jesus truly understands our human experiences. Today, I want to talk about feeling taken for granted, a sentiment many of us can relate to. It's Mother's Day, so a special shout-out to all the moms here. You deserve all the love and appreciation today.
We started with a light-hearted story about a family trip to Disney World. Despite all the excitement and preparation, the day didn't go as planned. Long waits and crowded spaces led to frustration, and even at the happiest place on earth, it was easy to feel unappreciated. This story sets the stage for our deeper discussion on feeling taken for granted.
We all have moments when we feel unappreciated, whether it's at work, at home, or even in our friendships. For instance, moms often juggle multiple roles—cooks, housekeepers, drivers, and more—yet rarely get the acknowledgment they deserve. Similarly, employees who go above and beyond their job descriptions often feel overlooked. This feeling of being taken for granted can be deeply discouraging.
In our series, we've been exploring how Jesus understands our struggles. He wasn't just a passive figure; He lived in our world and experienced our challenges. One powerful story from the Bible illustrates this. Jesus healed ten men with leprosy, a debilitating and socially isolating disease. As they went to show themselves to the priests, they were healed. However, only one returned to thank Jesus, and he was a Samaritan, a foreigner. This story highlights how even Jesus, who performed miracles, was often taken for granted.
Feeling unappreciated can lead us to question our worth. We often tie our self-worth to how others perceive us. Social media can exacerbate this, as we seek validation through likes and comments. But it's crucial to remember that our value doesn't come from others' approval. Jesus faced rejection in His own hometown of Nazareth. Despite performing miracles and teaching with wisdom, the people who knew Him best couldn't see past their familiarity with Him. They scoffed, "Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son?" Their rejection wasn't about Jesus; it was about their own insecurities and inability to see beyond their preconceived notions.
Sometimes, those we serve the most appreciate us the least. This is a hard truth, but it's important to recognize. Jesus experienced this firsthand. When He returned to Nazareth, the people were initially amazed but quickly turned skeptical and offended. Their unbelief limited what Jesus could do for them. This teaches us that sometimes, people's inability to appreciate us is more about them than it is about us.
So, what do we do when we feel unappreciated? First, we must remember that how others make us feel is not who we are. Our worth is not determined by their validation. Second, we need to recognize that sometimes, not getting a compliment is a compliment. It means we're consistent and reliable. Lastly, we must understand that our ultimate validation comes from God. He sees us, knows us, and values us beyond measure. Even when the world doesn't acknowledge our efforts, God does. He knew us before we were born and chose us to be His. This truth should anchor us and give us the strength to keep going, even when we feel overlooked.
### Key Takeaways
1. How Others Make You Feel is Not Who You Are: It's easy to let others' opinions shape our self-worth, but our true value comes from God. When we don't get the approval we're seeking, it can be a blow to our self-esteem. However, it's crucial to remember that our identity is not tied to how others perceive us. Our worth is defined by God's love and purpose for us. [16:04]
2. Those You Serve the Most Often Appreciate You the Least: This is a hard truth to accept, but it's often the case. The people closest to us can sometimes take us for granted because they see us as familiar and ordinary. Jesus experienced this in His hometown of Nazareth, where people couldn't see past their familiarity with Him to recognize His divine nature. [20:50]
3. Rejection is Often About Them, Not You: Sometimes, people's inability to appreciate us is more about their own insecurities and limitations than it is about us. The people of Nazareth rejected Jesus not because of who He was, but because of their own feelings of insignificance. Understanding this can help us not take rejection personally. [35:30]
4. Your Ultimate Validation Comes from God: Even when the world doesn't acknowledge our efforts, God does. He sees us, knows us, and values us beyond measure. This truth should anchor us and give us the strength to keep going, even when we feel overlooked. Remember, God chose you before you were born and has a purpose for your life. [41:13]
5. Sometimes Not Getting a Compliment is a Compliment: Consistency and reliability often go unnoticed because they become expected. If you're not getting compliments, it might mean you're doing a great job consistently. Take pride in your reliability and know that your efforts are seen and valued by God, even if not always by people. [30:03]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:21] - Introduction to "He Gets Us" Series
[01:50] - Mother's Day Shoutout
[02:32] - Disney World Story
[05:16] - Feeling Taken for Granted
[10:24] - The Struggle for Appreciation
[12:43] - Jesus Heals the Ten Lepers
[14:42] - Only One Returns to Thank Jesus
[16:04] - How Others Make You Feel is Not Who You Are
[20:50] - Those You Serve the Most Appreciate You the Least
[23:28] - Jesus Returns to Nazareth
[30:03] - Sometimes Not Getting a Compliment is a Compliment
[35:30] - Rejection is Often About Them, Not You
[41:13] - Your Ultimate Validation Comes from God
[42:44] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Luke 17:11-19 - Jesus Heals Ten Men with Leprosy
2. Mark 6:1-6 - Jesus Rejected in His Hometown
3. Jeremiah 1:5 - "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart."
#### Observation Questions
1. In the story of the ten lepers, how many returned to thank Jesus, and what was significant about the one who did? ([14:42])
2. What was the reaction of the people in Jesus' hometown of Nazareth when He taught in the synagogue? ([20:50])
3. According to the sermon, what are some roles that mothers often juggle without receiving much appreciation? ([09:26])
4. How does the sermon describe the impact of social media on our self-worth and validation? ([18:21])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think only one of the ten lepers returned to thank Jesus, and what does this tell us about gratitude? ([14:42])
2. How does the rejection Jesus faced in Nazareth reflect the broader theme of being taken for granted by those closest to us? ([20:50])
3. What does the sermon suggest about the relationship between our self-worth and the validation we seek from others? ([16:04])
4. How can understanding that our ultimate validation comes from God change our perspective on feeling unappreciated? ([41:13])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt taken for granted. How did you handle it, and what could you do differently in light of the sermon’s message? ([06:28])
2. How can you remind yourself that your worth is not determined by others' validation but by God's love and purpose for you? ([16:04])
3. Think of someone in your life who might feel unappreciated. What specific action can you take this week to show them gratitude and appreciation? ([09:26])
4. How can you apply the lesson that "sometimes not getting a compliment is a compliment" in your daily life, especially in your work or family roles? ([30:03])
5. In what ways can you shift your focus from seeking validation from social media to finding your worth in God’s eyes? ([18:21])
6. How can you support someone who is struggling with feelings of rejection or insignificance, helping them see their value in God’s eyes? ([35:30])
7. What steps can you take to ensure that you do not take the people closest to you for granted, recognizing their efforts and contributions? ([20:50])
Devotional
### Day 1: Your Worth is Defined by God, Not Others
We often find ourselves seeking validation from those around us, whether it's through social media likes, compliments at work, or appreciation from family members. This can lead to a rollercoaster of emotions, where our self-worth rises and falls based on others' opinions. However, it's crucial to remember that our true value comes from God. He created us with a purpose and loves us unconditionally. When we don't receive the approval we're seeking, it can be disheartening, but it doesn't change who we are in God's eyes.
Jesus Himself faced rejection and lack of appreciation, even in His own hometown of Nazareth. Despite performing miracles and teaching with wisdom, the people who knew Him best couldn't see past their familiarity with Him. They scoffed, "Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son?" Their rejection wasn't about Jesus; it was about their own insecurities and inability to see beyond their preconceived notions. This teaches us that our worth is not tied to how others perceive us but is defined by God's love and purpose for us. [16:04]
Bible Passage:
"For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." — Galatians 1:10 (ESV)
Reflection:
Think of a recent situation where you felt unappreciated. How can you remind yourself that your worth is defined by God and not by others' opinions?
### Day 2: Familiarity Can Lead to Being Taken for Granted
It's a hard truth to accept, but often those we serve the most appreciate us the least. This happens because familiarity can breed a sense of ordinariness, making our efforts seem less remarkable. Moms, for instance, juggle multiple roles—cooks, housekeepers, drivers, and more—yet rarely get the acknowledgment they deserve. Similarly, employees who go above and beyond their job descriptions often feel overlooked. This can be deeply discouraging and make us question our worth.
Jesus experienced this firsthand when He returned to Nazareth. The people were initially amazed by His teachings but quickly turned skeptical and offended. They couldn't see past their familiarity with Him to recognize His divine nature. Their unbelief limited what Jesus could do for them. This teaches us that sometimes, people's inability to appreciate us is more about them than it is about us. [20:50]
Bible Passage:
"And they took offense at him. But Jesus said to them, 'A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.'" — Matthew 13:57 (ESV)
Reflection:
Think of someone close to you who may be taking you for granted. How can you approach this relationship with grace and understanding, knowing that their lack of appreciation is more about them than it is about you?
### Day 3: Rejection Reflects Others' Insecurities, Not Your Worth
Rejection is a painful experience that can make us question our value and purpose. However, it's important to understand that rejection often says more about the person rejecting us than it does about us. People's inability to appreciate us is frequently rooted in their own insecurities and limitations. The people of Nazareth rejected Jesus not because of who He was, but because of their own feelings of insignificance and inability to see beyond their preconceived notions.
This understanding can help us not take rejection personally. When we face rejection, we should remember that our worth is not diminished by others' inability to see it. Jesus faced rejection and continued His mission, knowing that His value and purpose were defined by God, not by the opinions of those around Him. [35:30]
Bible Passage:
"He was despised and rejected by men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." — Isaiah 53:3 (ESV)
Reflection:
Think of a recent rejection you faced. How can you shift your perspective to see that this rejection is more about the other person's insecurities and limitations than it is about your worth?
### Day 4: God's Validation is the Ultimate Validation
In a world where we constantly seek validation from others, it's essential to remember that our ultimate validation comes from God. Even when the world doesn't acknowledge our efforts, God does. He sees us, knows us, and values us beyond measure. This truth should anchor us and give us the strength to keep going, even when we feel overlooked.
God's validation is not based on our performance or others' opinions but on His unconditional love for us. He knew us before we were born and chose us to be His. This divine validation should be our source of confidence and self-worth. When we feel unappreciated, we can find comfort in knowing that God sees our efforts and values us immensely. [41:13]
Bible Passage:
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations." — Jeremiah 1:5 (ESV)
Reflection:
Reflect on a time when you felt overlooked or unappreciated. How can you remind yourself that God's validation is the ultimate validation and find comfort in His unconditional love for you?
### Day 5: Consistency and Reliability are Often Unnoticed
Consistency and reliability are qualities that often go unnoticed because they become expected. When we consistently perform well, people may stop giving us compliments because they take our reliability for granted. However, this doesn't mean our efforts are not valuable. In fact, not getting a compliment can be a compliment in itself, as it means we are dependable and trustworthy.
Jesus exemplified consistency and reliability in His ministry. He was always there for those in need, performing miracles and teaching with wisdom. Yet, He was often taken for granted and even rejected. This teaches us that our consistent efforts are seen and valued by God, even if not always by people. We should take pride in our reliability and know that our efforts are making a difference, even if they go unnoticed. [30:03]
Bible Passage:
"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." — Galatians 6:9 (ESV)
Reflection:
Think of an area in your life where you consistently perform well but feel unappreciated. How can you take pride in your reliability and remind yourself that your efforts are seen and valued by God?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Follower of Jesus or not, do not tie their reaction to your identity. Don't tie their reaction, what they do or what they don't do, what they say. What they don't say to your identity. Man, this is so easy to say. This is so, so, so hard to do, especially in the United States of America right now. You know what I mean? But hear me out. Hear me out. Someone's inability to see your worth does not decrease your value." [19:29]
2. "Why on earth would you give other people control over how you feel? Why would you do that? Here's a bigger question. Why on earth would you give other people control over who you are? I mean, I don't know about you, but I don't want to place my identity in your hands. I mean, I love you and everything, but not that much, you know what I mean? Because how they make you feel is not who you are." [19:29]
3. "Sometimes not getting a compliment is a compliment. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes when you don't get a compliment, that's a compliment. Some of you are showing up to work and you're like looking around for your boss. Like, can you just say thank you that I'm here? Let me ask you a question. Do you know how you know that you're good at something? How do you know that you're good at something when you come into work and you don't get a compliment. When you're working, you might stop getting compliments. So if you don't get a compliment on your delicious dinner, mom, you know, it might just mean that you've made 82 delicious dinners in a row. You're good at it. You own, you got to own it, right? Sometimes not getting a compliment is a compliment. And sometimes a lack of a compliment speaks to your consistency." [30:03]
4. "And so today, some of us are waiting for approval, even begging for approval from people who we think have taken us for granted. And you think that they don't appreciate you. You think that they don't value, but maybe they're just broken. Maybe they're from Nazareth. Maybe they're like, hey, nothing's good going to come from me. Why would you expect that from me? They're not rejecting you. They're rejecting themselves. And so sometimes their rejection isn't about you. It's about them, right? Sometimes their lack of approval isn't a reflection on you. It's a reflection on them. And sometimes it's not even rejection. It's projection. It may not be about you." [35:30]
5. "We all feel taken for granted, right? Today, I want to talk to all of you who might feel today a little unappreciated, a little undervalued, or occasionally even unseen. I want to talk to all of you today who give more and serve more and help more than anyone would ever likely know. And of course, we do it out of a good heart. But let's be honest. Every now and then, even when we help and serve and give out of the purest of hearts, every now and then, we just want somebody to notice, right? We just want somebody to acknowledge us. We just want somebody to say, thank you." [06:28]
### Quotes for Members
1. "How they make you feel is not who you are. Man, that's so hard, right? Because I think there's a tendency. There's a little flinch. And all of us, when we don't get the approval that we're looking for. For some of us, this flinch is kind of small, but it's in all of us. It's kind of small. I think we can handle it most of the time. But for some of us, it's so intense. For some of us, our whole day can change when we get a wrong look for somebody or we get a critical email from our boss. And how we see ourselves rises and falls on how they make us feel. And for some of us, the majority of our self-worth. Our self-worth lies in the hands of other people. If they appreciate me, I'm good for another day. But if they don't, I'm going to start thinking, maybe I shouldn't even work here. Or maybe I shouldn't even be married to this person." [16:04]
2. "Those you serve the most often appreciate you the least. We know this is true. Those you serve the most often appreciate you the least. We know this is true. Those you serve the most. Those you love the most often appreciate you the least. So get ready. I'm going to dig in with a story. I'm so excited to talk about this today. This was a really important moment in Jesus's life where he had this big opportunity to feel taken for granted, but this time it was really, really personal." [20:50]
3. "And so Jesus goes back home. He goes to Nazareth. And I'm sure the people there, you know, they had heard about all the miracles he would do, he was doing. And heard about all the things he was saying. And now here he was right in front of them. And he was, they were hearing it firsthand what he was doing and what he was saying. And they said this. They said, where did he get all the wisdom and power to perform such miracles? And for a moment they were amazed. Now, I don't know about you, but when I think about it, I think about it. I think about the people in my life who I want approval from, who I really want approval from. I really want approval from the people in my life that matter the most. To be honest, I want to be admired by the people who really know me, the people who are closest to me." [26:01]
4. "And so when you work hard and you serve others relentlessly and tirelessly today, he sees you. Matthew said this, that your father who sees everything, will reward you. Even when people don't see, he sees you. God said this in Jeremiah, that he knew you before he formed you in your mother's womb, before you were born, he set you apart. Did you get that? Before you were even conceived. That'll blow your mind. That means you existed before you were conceived. That'll mess up your politics, okay, on both sides of that issue. You know what I'm saying? Some of y'all get that on Thursday. He knows you. And Jesus said this, that, hey, you didn't choose me. Remember, I chose you. Paul said that even before the world was made, God chose us to be his. How is that even possible? Today, I want you to know that he has chosen you. Man, that'll change your perspective, right? And so when you feel that no one else is for you, I want you to know today that God is for you, enough to sacrifice his only son and die for you. He is for you. God is for you. When it feels like the world isn't, God is for you. And if he is for you, then who can be against you? Amen." [41:13]
5. "And so today, some of us are waiting for approval, even begging for approval from people who we think have taken us for granted. And you think that they don't appreciate you. You think that they don't value, but maybe they're just broken. Maybe they're from Nazareth. Maybe they're like, hey, nothing's good going to come from me. Why would you expect that from me? They're not rejecting you. They're rejecting themselves. And so sometimes their rejection isn't about you. It's about them, right? Sometimes their lack of approval isn't a reflection on you. It's a reflection on them. And sometimes it's not even rejection. It's projection. It may not be about you." [35:30]
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