Finding True Joy Beyond Circumstances and Pleasures
Summary
In today's gathering, I shared a personal journey that many of us can relate to—the struggle with infertility and the subsequent emotional turmoil it can bring. My wife Jenny and I faced this challenge for several years, and during that time, I found myself trapped in a cycle of comparison and contempt, especially when seeing others celebrate the joys of parenthood. This led to a pursuit of pleasure as a substitute for the joy that seemed absent from our lives. However, this pursuit was like running on a hedonic treadmill, always chasing but never truly arriving at joy.
The world often confuses joy with fleeting moments of pleasure, but true joy, as described in the Bible, is a deep, abiding state of being that is rooted in our connection with God. The Hebrew word "simha" and the Greek word "hurrah" both point to joy as something that is not dependent on circumstances but is a result of the Spirit's work within us. This joy is steady and based on the goodness of God, not on the transient sparks of pleasure.
I also shared the story of my dear friends, Stan and Noelle, who walked alongside us in our infertility journey. Despite their own struggles, they exuded a joy that was deeply moving and inspiring. Their joy was not contingent on their circumstances but was a testament to their faith and trust in God's goodness. This kind of joy is what we are called to embody as followers of Jesus, offering the world an alternative vision of life that is not defined by anxiety or the relentless pursuit of pleasure.
In a world that often sees Christians as being against many things, we are invited to be a "for" people—people who are for joy, for love, and for the kingdom of God. This joy is not a passing sensation but a pervasive sense of well-being infused with hope because of God's goodness. As we live out this joy, we become a compelling invitation to others to step into the kingdom of God.
Key Takeaways:
- True joy is not found in fleeting pleasures but in a deep connection with God. The Hebrew word "simha" and the Greek word "hurrah" describe joy as a state of being that is rooted in God's presence and the Spirit's work within us. This joy is steady and not dependent on circumstances. [30:11]
- The pursuit of pleasure is like running on a hedonic treadmill, always chasing but never arriving. Real joy is not manufactured but is a result of the Spirit's work in our lives, offering a steadiness that transcends our circumstances. [25:28]
- Joy is God's posture toward us, as seen in Zephaniah 3, where God rejoices over us with singing. This joy is not based on our achievements but on God's goodness and love for us. [31:25]
- Jesus exemplified joy even in suffering, as seen in Hebrews 12, where he endured the cross for the joy set before him. This teaches us that joy can coexist with sorrow and is not diminished by trials. [33:29]
- As followers of Jesus, we are called to embody joy as our basic character, reflecting God's joy to the world. This joy is a compelling invitation to others to experience the kingdom of God. [37:20]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:15] - Personal Introduction
[03:45] - Journey Through Infertility
[07:30] - The Trap of Comparison
[10:15] - The Hedonic Treadmill
[13:00] - Biblical Understanding of Joy
[16:45] - Joy in the Old Testament
[19:30] - Joy in the New Testament
[22:15] - Jesus and Joy
[25:00] - The Joy of God
[28:45] - Living Joyfully for the Bay
[32:30] - Story of Stan and Noelle
[36:15] - Joy as a Witness to the World
[40:00] - The Joy of the Lord as Strength
[44:30] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Philippians 4:4-7 - "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
2. Zephaniah 3:17 - "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing."
3. Hebrews 12:2 - "Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
#### Observation Questions
1. What does the Hebrew word "simha" and the Greek word "hurrah" signify about the nature of joy according to the sermon? [30:11]
2. How did the speaker describe the impact of infertility on his emotional state and his pursuit of joy? [24:03]
3. What is the "hedonic treadmill," and how does it relate to the pursuit of pleasure versus true joy? [25:28]
4. How did Stan and Noelle exemplify joy despite their circumstances, according to the speaker's story? [40:01]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the concept of joy in Philippians 4:4-7 challenge the common understanding of joy as merely a feeling of happiness?
2. In what ways does Zephaniah 3:17 illustrate God's posture of joy towards us, and how might this influence a believer's understanding of their relationship with God? [31:25]
3. How does the example of Jesus in Hebrews 12:2 demonstrate that joy can coexist with suffering? [33:29]
4. What does the speaker mean by suggesting that Christians should be known for what they are "for" rather than what they are "against"? [28:07]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt trapped in a cycle of comparison. How did it affect your joy, and what steps can you take to break free from this cycle? [24:03]
2. Consider the "hedonic treadmill" in your own life. Are there areas where you are chasing fleeting pleasures? How can you redirect your focus towards a deeper connection with God? [25:28]
3. How can you cultivate a joy that is not dependent on circumstances, as seen in the lives of Stan and Noelle? What practical steps can you take to embody this kind of joy? [40:01]
4. In what ways can you be a "for" person in your community, embodying joy, love, and the kingdom of God? What specific actions can you take this week to reflect this posture? [28:07]
5. How can the joy of the Lord be your strength in a current trial or challenge you are facing? What scripture or prayer can you hold onto during this time? [46:44]
6. Reflect on the idea that joy is a result of the Spirit's work within us. How can you create space in your life for the Spirit to cultivate this joy? [31:25]
7. Identify one person in your life who might be struggling with finding joy. How can you support and encourage them this week in a way that reflects God's joy?
Devotional
Day 1: Joy Rooted in God's Presence
True joy is not a fleeting emotion but a profound state of being that arises from a deep connection with God. Unlike temporary pleasures that depend on external circumstances, this joy is steady and enduring, rooted in the presence of God and the work of the Spirit within us. The Hebrew word "simha" and the Greek word "hurrah" both describe this joy as something that transcends our immediate situations, offering a sense of peace and fulfillment that is not easily shaken. This joy is a gift from God, a reflection of His goodness and love, and it invites us to live in a way that is not dictated by the ups and downs of life. [30:11]
"Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." (Habakkuk 3:17-18, ESV)
Reflection: In what areas of your life are you seeking temporary pleasures instead of finding joy in God's presence? How can you shift your focus to cultivate a deeper connection with Him today?
Day 2: The Illusion of the Hedonic Treadmill
The pursuit of pleasure often leads us into a cycle of endless chasing, much like running on a hedonic treadmill. This pursuit promises satisfaction but never truly delivers lasting joy. Instead, it leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled, as we constantly seek the next momentary high. Real joy, however, is not something we can manufacture through our efforts; it is a result of the Spirit's work in our lives. This joy provides a steadiness that transcends our circumstances, offering a sense of peace and contentment that is not dependent on external factors. [25:28]
"Do not toil to acquire wealth; be discerning enough to desist. When your eyes light on it, it is gone, for suddenly it sprouts wings, flying like an eagle toward heaven." (Proverbs 23:4-5, ESV)
Reflection: Identify one area in your life where you find yourself on the hedonic treadmill. What steps can you take to step off this treadmill and seek the Spirit's joy instead?
Day 3: God's Joyful Posture Toward Us
Joy is not just an emotion we experience; it is also God's posture toward us. In Zephaniah 3, we see a beautiful image of God rejoicing over His people with singing, a joy that is not based on our achievements but on His goodness and love for us. This divine joy is a reminder that we are deeply loved and cherished by God, regardless of our circumstances or accomplishments. It invites us to rest in the assurance of His love and to live out of that place of security and joy. [31:25]
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." (Zephaniah 3:17, ESV)
Reflection: How does knowing that God rejoices over you with singing change your perspective on your worth and identity? How can you live today in the light of this truth?
Day 4: Joy in the Midst of Suffering
Jesus exemplified joy even in the midst of suffering, as seen in Hebrews 12, where He endured the cross for the joy set before Him. This teaches us that joy can coexist with sorrow and is not diminished by trials. Instead, it is a deep-seated assurance that God is at work, even in the most challenging circumstances. This joy is not a denial of pain but a recognition that there is a greater reality at play, one that is rooted in the hope and promise of God's redemptive work. [33:29]
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness." (James 1:2-3, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a current trial you are facing. How can you find joy in the midst of this challenge, trusting in God's redemptive work?
Day 5: Joy as a Witness to the World
As followers of Jesus, we are called to embody joy as our basic character, reflecting God's joy to the world. This joy is not just for our own benefit but serves as a compelling invitation to others to experience the kingdom of God. In a world often characterized by anxiety and the relentless pursuit of pleasure, living out this joy offers an alternative vision of life, one that is marked by hope, love, and a deep sense of well-being. By embodying this joy, we become witnesses to the transformative power of God's presence in our lives. [37:20]
"You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house." (Matthew 5:14-15, ESV)
Reflection: How can you embody joy in your daily interactions, serving as a witness to the world of God's transformative power? What practical steps can you take to reflect this joy to those around you today?
Quotes
"Oh, good morning. It really is a joy for me to be with you and honor. Like Phil said, since he and his family got into town, I remember we had our very first coffee. We got connected through a mutual friend. And our friendship, my personal friendship with your pastor has been one of the... One of the most invigorating and surprisingly life-giving gifts in recent years for me. And even beyond my relationship with Phil, I'm a Bay Area kid. I serve on staff at a church just south of here in San Jose called Westgate, like Phil said. But before that, I'm just a Bay Area kid. I wasn't born here, but I grew up here and grew up going to church. My mother still to this day is one of the most committed followers of Jesus I know. So I grew up being a church. Two, three times a week. And 20 years ago when I stepped into local church ministry, I remember Menlo being one of those churches that had just, on a number of levels, such a deep, profound influence on me." [00:19:16] (65 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
"Sixteen years, and it's been beautiful, and we've got two young children. We have a nine-year-old daughter named Harper and a six-year-old son named Simon, and even if you're not good at math, you can tell. Sixteen years of marriage and a nine-year-old daughter, there was a bit of a gap from when we got married to when we had children, which is actually pretty commonplace these days, especially here in the Bay Area and Silicon Valley. We're so career-oriented, but that wasn't our intention. Actually, shortly after Jenny and I were married, we wanted to see if we could have children, and so we began trying pretty early, and then we were faced with a situation that some of you, maybe many of you, will be familiar with. We went through a season of about half-decade, about five, six years of infertility, and those of you for whom infertility is a part of your story, maybe now or it was in the past, you know it's just like this dark, ominous cloud that hangs over everything, and thankfully, we had children, but I have plenty of friends who shared those experiences with us and continue on that journey, which is really painful and hard, and when I think back to our years of infertility, those five or six years, there was a really unique sort of thing, this really destructive rhythm, habit that I found myself wrapped up in." [00:21:42] (91 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
"I would open my smartphone, and I would begin scrolling social media, and because we had friends who were same age, same life stage as us, people that we absolutely deeply love, who had gotten married right around the time we got married, and they started trying to have children right around the time we started having, trying to have children. The only difference was these friends of ours didn't, they weren't dealing with infertility, and so on social media, there would be these like pregnancy posts, you know what I'm talking about? The little black and white photo of like a weird shape that is their baby, that kind of thing. It's like, I can't believe it, baby so-and-so coming in June, and over and over again. And these are men and women that I love." [00:23:13] (50 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
"Just time and time again, instead of feeling joy, all I could feel was, well, why God? Why do they get this beautiful gift, and we don't? And then sadly, destructively, that comparison began to devolve into contempt. Honestly, just confessing here, I began to feel contempt in my body toward men and women whom I absolutely adored and loved, and they had not done anything to me. They were in this season of immense joy, and all I could feel was comparison and contempt, and that led me to a loss of joy. I remember it was like five or six years for Jenny and I where it felt like all of the joy was just emptied from our life. And so because the joy was gone, I started searching for supplements and substitutes to feel better." [00:24:11] (59 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
"In the late 1990s, there was a British psychologist named Michael Asink, and he coined a phrase, a term, the hedonic treadmill. Hedonic meaning hedonism, the pursuit of pleasure. And he called it a treadmill because his understanding was that in the modern West, many of us have become addicted to the pursuit of pleasure, to hedonism, to feeling good. But it's a treadmill because this pursuit of pleasure keeps us running and chasing but never arriving. And the reason is we tend, when we're seeking pleasure, human beings essentially are chasing sparks because pleasure never lasts. It comes and goes. And these sparks that we are chasing in our lives, they are these momentary pleasures disguised as joy. But the problem is when the spark is gone, so is the joy. And we're left right back at the beginning." [00:25:32] (64 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
"Having served as a pastor in a local church for about 20 years now, I have had countless pastoral counseling meetings in my office that are so heartbreaking. Pastoral counseling meetings with a man and a woman whose marriage is falling apart. And they're all different. All of the stories are different and unique. But there's this through line that is common in almost every single one of these marriages falling apart pastoral counseling sessions that I have had over the years. And the through line is that at some point in the conversation, one or both of the spouses will say some version of the line will ultimately, Jay, honestly, just, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 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