Finding True Fulfillment Through a Spirit-Filled Life
Summary
In our journey through life, many of us walk around feeling like empty cups, seeking fulfillment from external sources, whether it be relationships, achievements, or material possessions. However, true fulfillment comes only from God. This is especially evident in marriages where individuals often expect their partners to fill the voids within them, leading to conflicts and dissatisfaction. Just as a scuba diver relies on an oxygen tank underwater, we must rely on God as our life source. When both partners in a marriage are filled with the Spirit and have their own "oxygen tanks," they can swim together harmoniously, without being overly dependent on each other for their sense of worth and fulfillment.
This principle extends to parenting as well. Some parents try to live vicariously through their children, seeking fulfillment from them, which can drain the life out of the family dynamic. Instead, when parents are filled with the Spirit, they can raise their children in a way that is life-giving and joyful. This was exemplified in a recent family vacation where we disconnected from electronics and focused on genuine human interaction, resulting in a memorable and fulfilling experience.
The key to a thriving family and marriage is being Spirit-filled. There has never been a Spirit-filled couple that has divorced because when both partners are seeking the same Spirit, they naturally align in their decisions and actions. It's when we act in the flesh, prioritizing our desires over God's will, that relationships falter.
As I reflect on my own life, especially as I celebrated my 50th birthday, I realize the importance of making intentional decisions now to shape the future. It's not about flipping a switch at a certain age but about a lifetime of choices that align with God's will. This is why we wrote our book, "You and Me Forever," to encourage others to think about eternity and make decisions that reflect a deep commitment to God above all else. Jesus' teachings on family challenge us to prioritize our relationship with Him, which in turn enriches our earthly relationships.
Key Takeaways:
- True fulfillment comes from God, not from external sources like relationships or achievements. When we rely on God as our life source, we can navigate life with a sense of peace and purpose. [00:10]
- In marriage, both partners need to be Spirit-filled and have their own "oxygen tanks" to avoid being overly dependent on each other. This leads to a harmonious and fulfilling relationship. [03:09]
- Parenting should not be about seeking fulfillment from children but about raising them in a life-giving and joyful environment. Disconnecting from distractions and focusing on genuine interaction can strengthen family bonds. [05:33]
- A Spirit-filled life is key to a thriving marriage and family. When both partners seek the same Spirit, they align in their decisions and actions, preventing conflicts and fostering unity. [06:41]
- Intentional decisions made now shape the future. It's not about flipping a switch at a certain age but about a lifetime of choices that align with God's will and reflect a deep commitment to Him. [09:59]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[00:10] - The Empty Cup
[00:49] - Scuba Diving Analogy
[02:32] - Dependence on God
[03:09] - Spirit-Filled Marriages
[04:00] - Parenting and Fulfillment
[05:33] - Disconnecting from Electronics
[06:41] - Spirit-Filled Life and Marriage
[07:54] - Celebrating with Prayer
[09:25] - Intentional Life Choices
[10:30] - Decisions for Eternity
[11:20] - Jesus' Teachings on Family
[12:12] - Prioritizing God in Relationships
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. John 15:5 - "I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
2. Ephesians 5:18 - "Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit."
3. Matthew 10:37 - "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."
#### Observation Questions
1. What analogy did the pastor use to describe the importance of relying on God for fulfillment in our lives? ([01:06])
2. How does the pastor describe the impact of being Spirit-filled on marriages? ([06:41])
3. What was the pastor's approach to electronics during a family vacation, and what was the outcome? ([05:33])
4. What did the pastor request for his 50th birthday celebration, and why was it significant? ([08:16])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the analogy of the scuba diver relate to our dependence on God in our daily lives? ([02:32])
2. In what ways does being Spirit-filled influence the dynamics of a marriage according to the pastor? ([07:00])
3. How does the pastor's view on family vacations without electronics reflect his understanding of genuine human interaction? ([05:49])
4. What does the pastor mean by making intentional decisions now to shape the future, and how does this relate to his 50th birthday reflection? ([09:59])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own life. Are there areas where you feel like an "empty cup" seeking fulfillment from external sources? How can you shift your focus to rely more on God? ([00:10])
2. If you are married, how can you and your spouse work towards being more Spirit-filled and less dependent on each other for fulfillment? What practical steps can you take this week? ([03:09])
3. As a parent, how can you ensure that you are not seeking fulfillment through your children? What changes can you make to create a more life-giving environment for them? ([04:00])
4. Consider your use of electronics and distractions in your family life. What is one specific change you can make to foster more genuine interactions with your family? ([05:33])
5. Reflect on the pastor's emphasis on intentional life choices. What is one decision you can make today that aligns with God's will and shapes your future positively? ([09:59])
6. How can you prioritize your relationship with God above all else, including family, as Jesus teaches? What practical steps can you take to ensure this priority is reflected in your daily life? ([11:20])
7. Think about a recent conflict or dissatisfaction in a relationship. How might being more Spirit-filled have changed the outcome? What can you do differently next time? ([07:33])
Devotional
Day 1: Fulfillment from God Alone
True fulfillment in life is not found in external sources such as relationships, achievements, or material possessions. Many people walk through life feeling like empty cups, constantly seeking something to fill them up. However, this search often leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction because these external sources are temporary and cannot provide lasting fulfillment. Instead, true fulfillment comes from God, who is the ultimate source of life and peace. When individuals rely on God as their life source, they can navigate life with a sense of peace and purpose, knowing that their worth and identity are secure in Him. This understanding transforms how one approaches relationships and achievements, viewing them as blessings rather than sources of identity. [00:10]
"For he satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul he fills with good things." (Psalm 107:9, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you are seeking fulfillment outside of God? How can you begin to shift your focus to find fulfillment in Him today?
Day 2: Spirit-Filled Marriages
In marriage, it is crucial for both partners to be Spirit-filled and have their own "oxygen tanks" to avoid being overly dependent on each other for their sense of worth and fulfillment. When individuals expect their partners to fill the voids within them, it often leads to conflicts and dissatisfaction. However, when both partners rely on God as their life source, they can swim together harmoniously, supporting each other without being overly dependent. This creates a harmonious and fulfilling relationship where both partners are aligned in their decisions and actions, seeking the same Spirit and prioritizing God's will over their desires. [03:09]
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)
Reflection: In what ways can you support your spouse in being Spirit-filled, and how can you encourage each other to rely on God as your life source?
Day 3: Life-Giving Parenting
Parenting should not be about seeking fulfillment from children but about raising them in a life-giving and joyful environment. Some parents try to live vicariously through their children, which can drain the life out of the family dynamic. Instead, when parents are filled with the Spirit, they can raise their children in a way that is nurturing and joyful. Disconnecting from distractions and focusing on genuine human interaction can strengthen family bonds, as exemplified by a family vacation where electronics were set aside in favor of meaningful connections. This approach fosters a healthy family environment where children can thrive. [05:33]
"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4, ESV)
Reflection: How can you create more opportunities for genuine interaction with your children this week, free from distractions?
Day 4: Unity in Spirit-Filled Relationships
A Spirit-filled life is key to a thriving marriage and family. When both partners seek the same Spirit, they naturally align in their decisions and actions, preventing conflicts and fostering unity. There has never been a Spirit-filled couple that has divorced because their shared commitment to God creates a strong foundation for their relationship. Acting in the flesh, prioritizing personal desires over God's will, often leads to relational discord. By seeking the Spirit, couples can maintain harmony and unity, allowing their relationship to flourish. [06:41]
"Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind." (1 Peter 3:8, ESV)
Reflection: What steps can you take to ensure that your relationship is Spirit-filled and aligned with God's will?
Day 5: Intentional Choices for Eternity
Intentional decisions made now shape the future. It's not about flipping a switch at a certain age but about a lifetime of choices that align with God's will and reflect a deep commitment to Him. As individuals reflect on their lives, they should consider the importance of making decisions that prioritize their relationship with God, which in turn enriches their earthly relationships. This mindset encourages people to think about eternity and make choices that have lasting significance, as emphasized in the book "You and Me Forever." [09:59]
"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12, ESV)
Reflection: What is one intentional decision you can make today that aligns with God's will and has eternal significance?
Quotes
Too many people walk around like an empty cup and they're like wanting something from you. They're unfulfilled, they're unfilled. Some of you, maybe you're single and you're unfulfilled, your life doesn't feel full, and so you think that once I find the right person, then it's going to be great. It's like no, no, Lisa will never be able, as amazing as she has been, she'll never be able to fill me the way God intends to, the way God created me to be filled. That comes only from the Lord. [00:00:32]
It's almost like in some marriages people don't have their own tank. If there was just one tank between us, we would have to keep sharing it back and forth. I need air, no I need air, I need it more than you, I need it more than you. That's what I see in so many marriages. But if you both have your own tank, if you're both filled from the Lord, and you have your own air supply, your life supply, then you just swim together, you live life together. [00:58:719]
Sometimes I see parents that almost want to try to live through their children and they almost have children for themselves because they need a friend or they need whatever. Again, it's almost like sucking all the life out of your children because you yourself need something from them because you're unfulfilled. So I guess one of the most important things that I could say about this and the 25 years, this has been amazing. [03:37:879]
We took that vacation to Tahoe and we told our kids because we don't want them addicted to electronics. So many kids are just on their iPads and phones all day. We told our kids nothing electronic for the whole vacation. I don't want to see a cell phone, I don't want to see an iPad, I don't want to see a laptop, nothing. We're just going to hang out and talk like human beings. We're going to laugh and play in the snow. [05:29:39]
There has never been a Spirit-filled couple that has gotten divorced in all of history. There has never been a Spirit-filled couple that has Godly divorce. Every divorce is because one or maybe both of the partners are not Spirit-filled and are not living the Spirit-filled life. Why? Because there's only one spirit, and so if I am seeking that one spirit and Lisa is seeking that one Spirit, guess what? We're going to come to the same conclusions. [06:42:88]
I'm 51 and last year I had a 50th birthday party, but I told my wife I hate parties. I don't want any parties for me. But for my 50th, I go here's what I want to do. I would like to gather people together to pray and as my birthday present, can we just ask people to fast that day for me and just pray for me all day? Pray that this next season of my life I'll grow so close to Jesus. [07:41:80]
I said to him, I go man I'm flattered, I'm honored by that. I go here's the problem, you're not making the same decisions I made when I was 35, so you're not going to be like me when you're 50. The choices you make now, you can't just say oh when I'm 49 then I'll be like Francis was when he's 50. No, you have to make the decisions now, you make the choices now. [09:36:519]
Some of you that are earlier on in marriage, we're hoping that you would make some of those decisions that people never told us about. That's why we wrote our book, "You and Me Forever," because I thought no one talks about this stuff. They're not thinking about eternity, they're not thinking about how if you read the Bible, if you just read everything that Jesus said about family, I think you'd be shocked. [09:56:48]
Jesus wasn't all about oh, you know, family first, safety first, take care of this, this. No, his words were more if anyone loves their wife or kids more than they love me, they're not worthy to be my disciple. Unless you're willing to hate, unless you hate your father, mother, wife, you're not worthy to be my disciple. He was explaining look, in heaven there's no marriage. [11:14:16]
Marriage is sacred, it's beautiful, it's amazing, it's created by God, but he also explains it needs to take its rightful place. As much as I love my wife, as much as I love my kids, my walk with the Lord is far above that, and that's what makes the marriage wonderful. It's the byproduct of knowing him. [11:47:44]
I think it starts with this joy in the Lord and being a Spirit-filled husband and wife because there's only one spirit. Like I've said, there has never been a Spirit-filled couple that has gotten divorced. Every divorce is because one or maybe both of the partners are not Spirit-filled and are not living the Spirit-filled life. [06:38:16]
I just want this to not be a rarity, you know, like this should be the norm of Christian families and it's not. But I think it starts with this joy in the Lord and being a Spirit-filled husband and wife because there's only one spirit. [06:32:199]
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