Finding True Belonging: Cherished, Known, and Loved

 

Summary

From our earliest days, we learn to distinguish what belongs to us and what does not. This sense of ownership shapes how we value things, often making it difficult to let go, even of items we no longer need. Yet, beneath our desire to possess, there is a deeper longing: not simply to have the most cherished thing, but to be the most cherished. Our lives are marked by a search for belonging, a yearning to be truly known and still welcomed. Many of our regrets and missteps stem from misguided attempts to secure this sense of belonging—whether through relationships, achievements, or the approval of others.

True belonging, however, is not found in what we own or accomplish, but in being known and loved. We fear vulnerability because we worry that if we are truly known, we might be rejected. Yet, it is only when we are fully known and still welcomed that we experience real belonging. This is the kind of knowing Jesus offers. In John 10, Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd, whose sheep know his voice and are known by him. This knowing is not transactional or superficial; it is a deep, relational intimacy that grows over time.

Jesus’ words come during the Festival of Dedication (Hanukkah), a time rich with meaning about liberation, kingship, and belonging. By calling himself the Good Shepherd, Jesus claims the authority and care of God himself, offering a place of belonging to those who hear his voice. He warns, however, of imposter voices—those that stoke fear and offer false solutions. These voices can become so familiar that we mistake them for truth, shaping our actions and beliefs.

But Jesus assures us that those who belong to him are held securely in his hands—and in the Father’s hands. No power is strong enough to snatch us away. Our belonging is not fragile or conditional; it is rooted in the unwavering love and strength of God. Baptism becomes a visible marker of this belonging, a celebration of being known, loved, and welcomed into God’s family. As we witness baptisms, we are reminded that our truest identity is not in what we possess, but in being cherished by the One who knows us completely and holds us securely.

Key Takeaways

- The Deepest Longing Is to Be Cherished, Not to Possess
Beneath our drive to acquire and hold onto things lies a universal desire: to be the most cherished, not just to have the most cherished. Our pursuit of possessions or status often masks a deeper need for acceptance and love. Recognizing this longing can reorient our lives away from striving and toward seeking genuine connection and belonging. [05:52]

- True Belonging Requires Vulnerability and Being Known
We only truly belong when we are still welcomed after being truly known. This kind of belonging is risky because it demands vulnerability—the willingness to be seen as we are, with all our flaws and fears. Yet, it is in this space of being fully known and still embraced that we find the security and acceptance our souls crave. [06:46]

- The Voices We Listen To Shape Our Sense of Identity and Belonging
Many voices compete for our attention, some masquerading as concerned guides but ultimately stoking fear and offering false security. The more we listen to these imposter voices, the more they shape our reality, often leading us away from the voice of the Good Shepherd. Discernment requires us to examine which voices need to be muted, turned down, or turned up in our lives, especially those that increase fear rather than faith. [17:53]

- Jesus’ Knowing Is Relational, Not Transactional
The knowledge Jesus offers is not about facts or surface-level acquaintance, but about deep, relational intimacy developed over time. Unlike many of our relationships, which can be transactional or conditional, Jesus’ knowing is steadfast and personal. This kind of knowing brings a sense of connection and security that cannot be replicated by mere information or fleeting interactions. [19:59]

- Our Security Is Found in Being Held by God’s Hands
The measure of God’s care for us is seen in the effort required to take us from his hands—an effort no power can accomplish. In moments of fear, doubt, or when old voices clamor for our attention, we are reminded that we are held securely by the Father. This assurance allows us to rest in our identity as God’s cherished ones, knowing that nothing can separate us from his love. [22:03]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:00] - The Endowment Effect and Our Attachment to “Mine”
[03:42] - What We Really Want: To Be Cherished
[05:52] - The Longing to Belong and Our Biggest Regrets
[06:46] - True Belonging: Being Known and Still Welcomed
[08:00] - The Skill of Seeing and Knowing Others
[08:47] - Jesus as the Good Shepherd: Context and Controversy
[12:32] - Hanukkah, Kingship, and Jesus’ Claim
[15:18] - The Voice of the Shepherd and Imposter Voices
[16:23] - How Familiar Voices Shape Our Reality
[17:53] - Discerning Which Voices to Listen To
[18:55] - The Relational Knowing of Jesus
[19:59] - Transactional vs. Relational Relationships
[20:48] - Eternal Security: No One Can Snatch Us from God’s Hand
[23:31] - Markers of Belonging: Baptism and Community
[24:50] - The Meaning of Baptism
[26:50] - Prayer and Celebration of Belonging

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: “The Deepest Longing: To Be Known and Cherished”

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### Bible Reading

John 10:22-30 (NIV)
> 22 Then came the Festival of Dedication at Jerusalem. It was winter, 23 and Jesus was in the temple courts walking in Solomon’s Colonnade. 24 The Jews who were there gathered around him, saying, “How long will you keep us in suspense? If you are the Messiah, tell us plainly.”
> 25 Jesus answered, “I did tell you, but you do not believe. The works I do in my Father’s name testify about me, 26 but you do not believe because you are not my sheep. 27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. 30 I and the Father are one.”

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### Observation Questions

1. What is the setting and significance of the Festival of Dedication (Hanukkah) in this passage? ([08:47])
2. According to Jesus, what distinguishes his sheep from others in this passage? ([15:18])
3. What does Jesus promise about the security of those who belong to him? ([20:48])
4. In the sermon, what are some examples of “imposter voices” that compete for our attention? ([16:23])

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Jesus use the image of a shepherd and sheep to describe his relationship with his followers, especially in the context of Hanukkah? ([12:32])
2. What does it mean to be “known” by Jesus, and how is this different from just being “acquainted” with him? ([18:55])
3. How do the “voices” we listen to shape our sense of identity and belonging, according to the sermon? ([17:53])
4. What is the significance of Jesus saying, “no one can snatch them out of my hand”? How does this relate to our sense of security and belonging? ([20:48])

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon said our deepest longing is not to have the most cherished thing, but to be the most cherished. In what ways have you tried to fill this longing with possessions, achievements, or approval from others? ([05:52])
2. Vulnerability is required for true belonging. Is there a relationship or community where you are afraid to be fully known? What holds you back, and what would it look like to take a small step toward vulnerability? ([06:46])
3. Think about the “voices” you listen to most often—whether from people, media, or your own thoughts. Are there any that increase fear or insecurity in your life? What would it look like to “mute” or “turn down” those voices this week? ([17:53])
4. The sermon described Jesus’ knowing as relational, not transactional. Are there relationships in your life that feel transactional? How might you move toward deeper, more genuine connection in one of those relationships? ([19:59])
5. Jesus promises that no one can snatch us from his hand. When you feel insecure or afraid, what helps you remember that you are held securely by God? ([22:03])
6. Baptism was described as a visible marker of belonging. If you have been baptized, how does that shape your sense of identity and community? If you haven’t, what questions or hesitations do you have about it? ([24:50])
7. When you see someone else being welcomed or celebrated in the church (like during baptisms), how can you join in affirming their belonging and help create a culture of genuine welcome? ([26:50])

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for courage to be vulnerable, discernment to listen to the Good Shepherd’s voice, and a deeper experience of being known and cherished by God.

Devotional

Day 1: God’s Hands Hold All Creation

The image of God’s hands is used throughout Scripture to help us grasp the vastness of His power, presence, and care. Rather than abstract concepts, the Bible gives us concrete pictures—like hands forming the dry land or holding the depths of the earth—to show that everything belongs to Him. This means that nothing is outside of His reach or concern, and that the world, with all its beauty and brokenness, is ultimately in the hands of a loving Creator. When we feel small or overwhelmed, we can remember that the One who made the mountains and the seas holds us, too. [03:42]

Psalm 95:3-5 (ESV)
For the Lord is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are his also. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land.

Reflection: When you look at the world around you today, what is one area—big or small—where you need to remember that God’s hands are holding it all?


Day 2: The Deep Longing to Belong

Every person carries a deep desire not just to possess cherished things, but to be cherished themselves—to truly belong. This longing shapes our choices, our regrets, and even our mistakes, as we seek validation and connection. True belonging is not about fitting in or impressing others, but about being fully known and still welcomed. The ache to belong is universal, and it is only satisfied when we find ourselves accepted and loved, even after our flaws and failures are seen. [06:46]

Romans 15:7 (ESV)
Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.

Reflection: Think of a time when you felt truly known and still welcomed—how did that experience shape your sense of belonging, and how might you offer that same welcome to someone else today?


Day 3: The Voice of the Shepherd

Jesus describes Himself as the Good Shepherd whose sheep listen to His voice, are known by Him, and follow Him. In a world filled with competing voices—some that stoke fear, others that offer quick fixes—Jesus’ voice stands out as one of love, truth, and belonging. His voice is not always the loudest, but it is the one that leads to life. We are invited to examine which voices we allow to shape us, to mute those that breed fear or distraction, and to turn up the voice of the Shepherd who calls us by name. [17:53]

John 10:27 (ESV)
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

Reflection: What is one voice in your life that needs to be turned down or muted today, and what is one practical way you can make more space to listen for Jesus’ voice?


Day 4: Known and Secure in God’s Hands

To be known by Jesus is to be held in a relationship of deep, enduring intimacy—not a transactional exchange, but a connection that withstands our failures and fears. Jesus promises that those who belong to Him are given eternal life and cannot be snatched from His hand or the Father’s hand. The measure of God’s care is seen in the unbreakable grip He has on His people; no force is strong enough to separate us from His love. In moments of fear or when old voices try to claim us, we can rest in the security of being held by God. [22:03]

John 10:28-29 (ESV)
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand.

Reflection: When fear or insecurity rises up, what would it look like for you to rest in the truth that you are held securely in God’s hands?


Day 5: Baptism—A Marker of Belonging

Baptism is more than a ritual; it is a milestone that marks our belonging to Jesus and to His community. Just as a wedding ring symbolizes a marriage, baptism tells the story of dying to an old life and being raised to new life in Christ. It is a public declaration that we are part of God’s family, cherished and welcomed. This act reminds us and others that our identity is rooted not in what we achieve or possess, but in the love and acceptance of the Father who calls us His own. [24:50]

Romans 6:4 (ESV)
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.

Reflection: If you have been baptized, how does that marker of belonging encourage you today? If you have not, what questions or hesitations do you have about taking that step, and who could you talk to about them?

Quotes

What we really want, what all of us want more than anything else, is not to have the most cherished thing, but to be the most cherished thing. Universally, across the board, this is what we all want. Because, in fact, more often than not, the thing that we're looking to have, if we could have the most cherished thing, generally it's if we could have it, it's so that we could be the most cherished thing. [00:05:13] (00:00:21 seconds) Edit Clip

We know we truly belong, because that's always the big question. If I want to be belongable, how do I know I truly belong? We know we truly belong when we are still welcome after being truly known. You and I know that we truly belong when we are still welcome after we are truly known. [00:07:00] (00:00:19 seconds) Edit Clip

Because our greatest fear is if we are actually truly known, that however it is that whatever it is that's exposed in us might prevent us from belonging, and when we're truly known and we're still welcome, then we know we truly belong. And because we only really belong if we're truly known first, we fear what's most required of us, which is vulnerability, which is why it's so hard for so many of us to find connection. But being known is absolutely essential to belonging. [00:07:20] (00:00:28 seconds) Edit Clip

There is one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community, organization, or society. So if there's a healthy person or a healthy, this is it, this is that one skill. The ability to see someone else deeply and make them feel seen. This is different than just noticing a person. See someone else deeply and make them feel seen. To accurately know another person to let them feel valued, heard, and understood. [00:07:50] (00:00:27 seconds) Edit Clip

The result of being known like this has something to do with the idea of being deeply connected. Jesus says, I know my sheep. I know them. Verse 28. Then he says, I give them, meaning my sheep, eternal life, and they shall never perish. Notice the language. And no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father who has given him to me is greater than all, and no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are one. [00:20:48] (00:00:34 seconds) Edit Clip

You can measure how much you care about a particular thing by the effort required to take it from your hands. I can measure how much I care about a particular thing based on the effort just by measuring the effort required to take something from my hands, which means there is no strength strong enough to take these sheep from the Father's hands. There is no strength strong enough to take you from the hands of the Father. These are his hands. [00:21:22] (00:00:39 seconds) Edit Clip

When fear is having its way with us, he holds us in his hands. When old voices and familiar vices demand our attention and try to direct our action, he holds us in his hands. There is no strength strong enough to take you out of his hands, which means maybe we actually are the most cherished thing. And this is where faith and belonging overlap. These are his hands. [00:21:57] (00:00:54 seconds) Edit Clip

In the same way the Bible will tell us we are buried with Christ in baptism, putting to death an old life and raised to walk in a new life. That's baptism. Okay, you guys with me? You guys got it? So when you see people being baptized, that's the story that they're telling. It is a milestone marker of their own belonging to Jesus and belonging to the community. [00:25:32] (00:00:19 seconds) Edit Clip

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