Finding Rest: The Importance of Balance for Moms

"I don't assume it is it may be the same as the question that my wife and I posed at church and with the staff at home during my pastor it over and over how do we find how does the staff fine how do we as a couple find the pace to finish the race that's the way we put it the marriage race the parenting race they are marathons not 100-meter dashes Noel and I have been running the marriage marathon for 50 years as of last December and the parenting marathon we've been running for 47 years and believe still run the parenting marathon after your kids are grown and you got 14 grandkids and we ran the pastoring marathon for 33 years so the question for all of us moms single moms husbands single dads how do you find the pace to finish the race after the question yeah we don't want to loiter on our heavenly journey and we don't want to fall exhausted halfway through that's not a selfish question to ask it's a wise one to ask how can I find the pace to finish the race so whether it's a day off or some other configuration of off and on work and rest sustaining rhythm here are five observations that might prove helpful to think about" [00:55:59]

"The Sabbath principle was God's idea before there was a fall into sin before there was a fall with all the added burdens that the fall brought one day in seven different from others not the same pressured work but relief and spiritual focus to say to the Lord I am NOT God you are God if I stop opposing the universe by the word of my power for one day it's not going to go out of existence I'm not God yeah to say on that day to your own body you're not superhuman body God is that principle one day and seven to be honest with God and humble with God and restful with God that principle was true for all the people of God men and women so husbands should take the lead I'm gonna assume this in every one of these questions husbands should take the lead in helping the family think through what that will look like for them all as the kids are growing up including mom if all seven of mom's days are the same something is amiss given the Sabbath principle" [02:39:00]

"Recognize that marriage and children and ministry will have different seasons with very different pressures children under two present a different challenge than three to six and six to thirteen and so on no every season is demanding but not in the same way so if one feels unbearable I was just talking to a young fella over it desiring God today we got a brand-new baby and he said I never knew it would be so hard and mainly he he had in mind sleep yeah where we're gonna get enough sleep to function the way we need to it may help to remember in those seasons this season is gonna be over someday it will be over and we just need to find the pace to get through this part of the race" [04:26:00]

"Husbands take responsibility for knowing your wife Peter says live with her according to knowledge she is a fellow heir of the grace of life which means study her listen to her watch her discern how you can help her flourish be maximally fruitful that's what you want for her flourish beam how can she be maximally fruitful and happy in her calling as a homemaker and mother and all the other aspects of her her church and community life that help will probably include daily relief of some kind from you for her and periodic relief of more extended time for example I aimed as a young pastor with four kids I aimed to get home or to come out of my study at home before supper at 5:30 and from rounding up the children four boys at one time and tell vaque Malone later but boys are out of the house by the end so at four at one time four boys at one time I and rounding them up for supper at 5:30 and until seven o'clock the children were my responsibility" [05:22:00]

"Be open and on the lookout from multiple families and relatives and neighbors to help in caring for the children this is especially relevant for single parents right it's that's a given you know yeah I should feel very jealous to be helpful between families for those who have for all kinds of reasons run into difficult circumstances that are seasonal the nuclear family is God's idea but the isolated family is not God's idea a mom who feels isolated and trapped in the walls of her home is probably not going to be emotionally and spiritually healthy when Hillary Clinton lets dare to quote Hillary Clinton when Hillary Clinton said it takes a village to raise a child she wasn't making that up that's an ancient proverb it's an ancient wisdom everywhere children need more than mom and dad children need other human beings so husbands more leadership here how's the family doing in its wider Network for the good of the children and the relief of the mom as we all share in the raising of our kids and help each other bear one another's burdens" [08:33:00]

"I want to make a special appeal to young moms and dads that you give the energy and focus and consistency of effort while your children are under 2 to build into them the habit of obeying on the very first directive that you give them no whining no disobedience allowed you will do what you're told on the first request now this requires a huge outlay of focus and attention and courage and wisdom and energy and love when the children are very small because it's just easier to stay on the couch and let the child disobey three times in a row cause you're too lazy to get up and do any enforcement so I'm saying it's a long hard job but oh the payoff yes oh it's so beautiful to see later on now I could argue for this because the Bible says children obey your parents it's not rocket science that's what it says and they don't do that naturally and parents bring them up in the nurture and discipline of the Lord but my point here is that for the sake of mom's sanity and health and strength Ray had dead help her raise obedient children" [10:16:00]

"It's amazing to me that so many parents of young children don't require obedience seems crazy to me insane yeah how totally life miserable for 15 years no wonder everyone is dead tired it's simply exhausting to follow a child around trying to keep them from killing themselves because they won't do what you tell them to do I'm gonna say this you can yes you can require your children say under six seven eight years old to go to bed at seven o'clock yes you can I don't care what they're made of you can require that and they don't get out of bed unless the house is on fire they're gonna encounter dad's wrath if they get out of bed if I smell smoke I say this not to add burdens but to lift them imagine what an emotional burden is lifted if children simply do what they are told the first time you tell them to do it that takes enormous focus and effort and love and follow-through and discipline in the first two years of life so dads this is your agenda know your wife know your children know your Bible know yourself and make sure your wife has what she needs to be fruitful and happy as a wife and mother" [12:06:00]