Finding Peace: Jesus' Teachings on Worry and Trust

Jesus says therefore I tell you do not worry and then he goes into what to not worry about reading a really interesting comment by Dale Allison who's a commentator on this Ser about and he says actually to follow Jesus to do what he's been talking about don't store up Treasures on Earth um uh don't serve that Master is to invite anxiety because we live in a life where we need all those kinds of things but here's the difficulty Jesus says don't worry now um my wife loves chocolate covered almonds and she'll say don't eat my almonds I know how to do that or a lot of commands in the Bible don't lie don't steal don't cheat no that's at least pretty clear worry is a feeling worry is an emotion and you can't just turn emotions on and off with willpower so Rick you're dealing with clients I know the worry anxiety is something that folks deal with a lot what how do you understand what do you do with a command like this where Jesus just says don't worry [00:01:10]

to me he's trying to give us advice about how to manage worry or I might even use the word anxiety um I think he makes it clear throughout this passage which I beforehand too uh it's ineffectiveness that there's not much utility to worry so that the less worry you have um you know it's a little bit interesting like don't worry that'd be like me a little bit saying don't think about a purple car you're still GNA think about a purple car so I don't think he can mean literally like you know uh you know use the force of will and just never worry about you ever do you ever say that to your client clients I remember years ago I don't know if we' ever talked about this or you've seen it but there's a hilarious clip of Bob newart the therapist where his therapy his therapeutic intervention is just solid yeah woman that comes in to see him is troubled with these anxious obsessive thoughts just just stop it so you ever say that to a client you ever want to say it to a client [00:02:14]

I'd say it but then I smile just like you're smiling because we both that's going to be effective if you say it too strongly it's just such an invitation uh to not do it and so again if I think the force of Jesus words don't worry and then he goes into these reasons why you're not going to add anything worry has enough problems uh the next day has enough problems of its own that sort of thing um so I think he's giving us instruction and it turns out to be just fantastic psychology about managing worry I think I remember telling you John you know in some ways I like simple explanations and that's partly why I'm John so much to the teachings of Jesus to me if you over focus on the past you're going to struggle and wrestle with depression you over focus on the future tomorrow things that are uncertain you're going to deal more with worry and anxiety so to me I read this passage and I think this is the Jesus way what he is teaching in this part of the sermon on M out is the Jesus way don't live in the past don't live in the future be in this day and it makes my heart sing honestly like that is the Jesus way other thinkers think that mindfulness living in the present but this these are the words of Jesus on The Sermon on the Mount as you keep telling us the greatest sermon ever preached so really this should be pretty connected with give us this day our daily bread if not talking about yesterday's bread or tomorrow's bread so there's a real connection between um living in the present which is the only place where we can find God and being freed of worry so true yes I think it's like the the tonic the two tonics I would say as a counselor to people dealing with worry and anxiety live in the moment and trust God with tomorrow with the future [00:03:33]

on either side on the one hand um there's the problem of ruminating where I just I'm afraid of something worried about something that might happen um I obsess over it spin unproductively this book that's been so helpful um you are not your brain Jeffrey Schwarz the author of it talks about receptive brain messages but the key to them really is they have this ruminating um nonproductive Quality engaging in repetitive thoughts caused by deceptive messages that do not lead to a solution or any forward progress it creates this horrible sensation inside that my uh oh Center is um going crazy and so rumination um is a real problem and I can engage in that on the other hand and Jeff talks about this in his book I can also have a problem of avoidance where probably because I know if I think about something it could trigger anxiety in me I just decide or I don't even decide I just default into not thinking about it and and I'm capable of doing both of these I was thinking about writing and there's times in writing where a book does really well and so then I'm real glad about it and then other times where it doesn't sell at all and I could think of times where that was going on and on the one hand I could uh ruminate over all I feel like a failure on the other hand I needed to talk to my publisher about here's what's going on but instead I just went into avoidance mode and I don't want to talk about it I don't want to admit it it would make me feel bad I would feel embarrassed I would feel shame and so I just go into denial or I think about we've talked about uh decisions in life and I can think about a decision that I face where I can both ruminate oh this would be awful if this bad thing happen and then avoid making a decision or avoid thinking about it when I just think about it it will trigger those uh anxious thoughts so then my question is and I did a little chart everybody see when it even more professional than this um that on the one hand I think about this topic and start to ruminate uh and that's no good on the other hand if I just go into avoidance mode uh I'm not going to make a good decision I won't think it through that's no good so what I need is in between rumination and avoidance something like calm Focus but I can't make myself do that so how do you help us navigate Rick between ruminating and avoiding and that is the secret just exactly how you said it if we can live in the dynamic tension you know one might even say are is your particular Bugaboo though of course you're saying that you have both that you more of a are you're more of a ruminator or more of a voider avoiding on that side of the spectrum I often think that if I avoid the thing that brings me worry or anxiety it's like throwing a little bit of gasoline on a small fire and then get makes it larger so the anxiety or worry tends to overtime uh be Amplified by why does why does avoiding amplify it why is it like putting gas on the fire because it just seems to grow in its intensity we haven't really done anything to face it so with avoidance you know clinically you would look at words like exposure like that you would maybe even gradually expose yourself or practice exposing yourself to different elements of what it is that that worried about deliberately on purpose doing it deliberately and on purpose and sometimes I would think that's part of what counseling pastoral counseling or talking friend is doing if you're not tipping over to the other side of ruminating you're exposing yourself to the topic you're talking about it you're processing it I mean it processing to me is a good word it's in that calm Focus mid mid-range that you just talked about on paper if I'm processing something that I'm concerned about with you I'm not avoiding it so that's the whole point of having close friends having a team having a counselor having a pastor in your life is one of the things you're doing is by being relational about the thing you're spreading it out getting tools getting ideas but I know that what you're really doing is you're countering that extreme instinct to avoid and so if I can that's why I'm always going to be a believer in talking things through I know that's not the only thing people need tools and skills and that sort of thing too but you know when I think of talking with you regularly for example it doesn't feel like I get to avoid something because you know most days that I talk to John he's gonna ask me and he always to remember what I was concerned about yesterday or last week so I don't get to avoid and if you're lucky enough to be you know close relationships I think my marriage serves a similar kind of purpose uh and again what what I'm trying to do is counteract that avoidance and you know I've had a couple cases even this past week where people just spend so much time avoiding something that when it does finally break through it can feel cataclysmic uh you know at a guy just talking about a lot of abuse stories when he was young and he spent a significant part of his life bound up tense tight by not talking about it wow and finally he just decided because his life was just not working in so many different ways I don't have time to go into um that starting to talk about giving it air and I know that what we were doing was facing down his massive avoidance of things that needed to be processed and worked through so that's Jeffrey will talk about um the wise he uses the the phrase the wise Advocate really he means the Holy Spirit I like that so that processing would be kind of inviting the holy spirit because the Holy Spirit never ruminates um but but I can invite the Holy Spirit and another person and I was thinking as you were talking probably in the Bible Esther might be an example of somebody where uh Israel was facing a genocide and uh she was kind of avoiding it until her relative morai approached her and said yeah you got to face this you got to do something you got to go to the king and if she had not had that person in her life who knows what would happen and you see that in other ways too when Jesus or other people in the Bible are inviting you to deal with sin like rather thaning it uh ignoring it denying it repressing it suppressing it dealing with it which can be painful so counter counterattacking avoidance can be painful I don't want to imply anything different but it's a good kind of pain it's moving us into the right direction [00:05:14]