Finding Hope and Love in Broken Relationships

 

Summary

In our conversation today, we delved into the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on how to make peace with someone who no longer wants us in their life. This is a deeply challenging situation that many of us face, and it raises profound questions about our faith and understanding of God. We explored the idea of resurrection life and what it means to live with hope even when a relationship seems irreparably broken. The notion that Jesus himself experienced difficult relationships during his earthly ministry offers a comforting perspective. Despite being sinless, Jesus faced betrayal and misunderstanding, reminding us that not all earthly relationships will be reconciled.

We discussed the importance of distinguishing between intimacy and love. Intimacy requires mutual willingness, but love can persist even when the other person is distant. This love is about willing the good for the other person, praying for them, and entrusting them to God's care. It's a reminder that while we may not be able to control the outcome of a relationship, we can control our response and continue to love from a distance.

Prayer emerged as a powerful tool in navigating these difficult situations. Jesus, in his interaction with Peter, chose to pray for him rather than offer advice or solutions. This highlights the profound impact of prayer, even when it feels abstract or distant. It is a way to entrust the situation to God and seek His comfort and guidance.

Ultimately, we are reminded that time is long, and eternity is even longer. While a relationship may seem beyond repair today, we cannot predict the future. There is always hope for reconciliation, and in the meantime, we can find solace in God's love and care for us.

Key Takeaways:

1. Resurrection Life and Hope: In situations where relationships seem dead, we are called to explore what resurrection life truly means. It challenges us to live with hope and trust in God's ability to bring new life, even when we have no control over the situation. [03:40]

2. Jesus' Example in Relationships: Jesus' earthly ministry was marked by difficult relationships, reminding us that not all relationships will be reconciled. His experience offers comfort and perspective, showing that even in perfect love, misunderstandings and betrayals can occur. [05:04]

3. Distinguishing Intimacy from Love: Intimacy requires mutual willingness, but love can persist even when the other person is distant. We can continue to will the good for others, pray for them, and entrust them to God's care, even when intimacy is not possible. [06:47]

4. The Power of Prayer: Prayer is a powerful tool in navigating difficult relationships. Jesus chose to pray for Peter rather than offer advice, highlighting the profound impact of prayer in entrusting situations to God and seeking His guidance. [09:04]

5. Hope for the Future: While a relationship may seem beyond repair today, we cannot predict the future. Time is long, and eternity is even longer, offering hope for reconciliation and reminding us to trust in God's timing and plan. [08:13]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:28] - Introduction to the Conversation
[00:41] - Welcoming Nicole Yunis
[01:32] - Personal Reflections on Life Stages
[02:18] - Introducing the Relationship Questions
[02:45] - Making Peace with Broken Relationships
[03:25] - Exploring Resurrection Life
[04:31] - Jesus' Experience with Difficult Relationships
[05:24] - The Limits of Making Peace
[06:14] - Prayers and Phrases for Healing
[07:21] - Surrendering to God's Love and Care
[08:27] - The Role of Prayer in Relationships
[09:28] - Closing Thoughts and Future Conversations
[10:02] - Blessings and Farewell

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Luke 22:31-32 - "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
2. John 13:21 - "After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, 'Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.'"
3. Romans 12:18 - "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

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Observation Questions:

1. What does Jesus' interaction with Peter in Luke 22:31-32 reveal about His approach to difficult relationships? How does this relate to the sermon’s emphasis on prayer? [08:38]

2. In John 13:21, how does Jesus' awareness of betrayal reflect His understanding of human relationships? How does this connect to the sermon’s discussion on Jesus experiencing difficult relationships? [05:04]

3. According to Romans 12:18, what is the extent of our responsibility in maintaining peace in relationships? How does this align with the sermon’s message about making peace with those who may not want reconciliation? [05:24]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. How does the concept of "resurrection life" challenge our understanding of hope in seemingly irreparable relationships? What does it mean to live with hope in these situations? [03:25]

2. In what ways does Jesus' experience with betrayal and misunderstanding provide comfort and perspective for our own relational struggles? How can this understanding shape our response to broken relationships? [05:04]

3. How can distinguishing between intimacy and love help us navigate relationships where closeness is not possible? What does it mean to will the good for someone from a distance? [06:47]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a relationship in your life that feels beyond repair. How can the idea of resurrection life inspire you to hold onto hope and trust in God's ability to bring new life? [03:40]

2. Consider a time when you felt misunderstood or betrayed in a relationship. How can Jesus' example of facing similar challenges guide you in finding peace and comfort? [05:04]

3. Identify a person in your life with whom intimacy is not possible. What specific actions can you take to will their good and pray for them, even from a distance? [06:47]

4. How can you incorporate prayer as a tool for navigating difficult relationships in your life? What specific prayers can you offer for those you struggle to reconcile with? [09:04]

5. Reflect on the notion that time is long and eternity is even longer. How can this perspective influence your approach to relationships that seem irreparable today? [08:13]

6. Think of a relationship where you have tried to make peace but have not succeeded. How can you find solace in entrusting the situation to God's care and timing? [05:24]

7. How can you actively seek God's comfort and guidance in your current relational struggles? What steps can you take to surrender these situations to His love and care? [07:21]

Devotional

Day 1: Living with Resurrection Hope
In situations where relationships seem dead, we are called to explore what resurrection life truly means. Resurrection life is about living with hope and trusting in God's ability to bring new life, even when we have no control over the situation. It challenges us to see beyond the present circumstances and to believe in the possibility of renewal and restoration. This hope is not based on our own efforts but on the power of God to transform and heal. By embracing resurrection life, we open ourselves to the possibility that God can work in ways we cannot foresee, bringing beauty from ashes and life from death. [03:40]

"But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:4-5, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a relationship in your life that feels beyond repair. How can you invite God to bring resurrection hope into this situation today?


Day 2: Jesus' Experience with Difficult Relationships
Jesus' earthly ministry was marked by difficult relationships, reminding us that not all relationships will be reconciled. His experience offers comfort and perspective, showing that even in perfect love, misunderstandings and betrayals can occur. Jesus faced betrayal, denial, and abandonment, yet He continued to love and serve those around Him. This serves as a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles with relationships. Jesus understands our pain and offers us His presence and peace. By looking to His example, we can find strength to navigate our own relational challenges with grace and compassion. [05:04]

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a difficult relationship in your life. How can Jesus' example of love and forgiveness guide you in this situation?


Day 3: Distinguishing Intimacy from Love
Intimacy requires mutual willingness, but love can persist even when the other person is distant. We can continue to will the good for others, pray for them, and entrust them to God's care, even when intimacy is not possible. This kind of love is selfless and unconditional, seeking the best for the other person regardless of their response. It challenges us to let go of our need for reciprocation and to trust that God is at work in their lives. By choosing to love from a distance, we honor the dignity and worth of the other person while also protecting our own hearts. [06:47]

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, ESV)

Reflection: Identify someone you love but cannot be close to right now. How can you actively will their good and entrust them to God's care today?


Day 4: The Power of Prayer
Prayer is a powerful tool in navigating difficult relationships. Jesus chose to pray for Peter rather than offer advice, highlighting the profound impact of prayer in entrusting situations to God and seeking His guidance. Prayer allows us to release our burdens and concerns to God, trusting that He is in control. It is an act of faith that invites God's presence and power into our circumstances. Through prayer, we can find peace and clarity, even when the path forward is uncertain. By committing to pray for those we struggle with, we open the door for God to work in their lives and ours. [09:04]

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a relationship that causes you anxiety. How can you commit to praying for this person and situation regularly?


Day 5: Hope for the Future
While a relationship may seem beyond repair today, we cannot predict the future. Time is long, and eternity is even longer, offering hope for reconciliation and reminding us to trust in God's timing and plan. Our perspective is limited, but God sees the bigger picture and is always at work. By placing our hope in Him, we can find peace in the present and trust that He is working all things together for good. This hope is not passive but active, calling us to live with expectation and faith in God's promises. [08:13]

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

Reflection: Think about a relationship that feels stuck. How can you actively place your hope in God's future plans for this relationship today?

Quotes


And I think in this particular situation, one of the things that I take comfort in, I it's not an answer, but it's just something I take comfort in is that Jesus had difficult relationships in his earthly ministry, and at the end of the day like the rock bottom thing that I believe is Jesus was sinless he was perfect in the way he engaged with you know grace and truth and he had people who walked away from him he had people who misunderstood him betrayed him um couldn't get on board with him and that doesn't mean you know that we're perfect in everything that we did but it does leave room for earthly relationships to not be reconciled. [00:04:45]

I remember many years ago in a really difficult relational situation realizing um that I desperately wanted intimacy with somebody and that might never happen but that I could still love them, and so there was something for me about in that moment kind of distinguishing between intimacy intimacy is a feeling or a sense experience of closeness yes and that I can't have if the other person doesn't want it. [00:05:39]

Yeah um one is just to name the hurt you know part of what I feel like I'm learning a lot in this season is um that idea of owning with difficulty observe it welcome it and name it this just makes me sad and sometimes I just need to be sad but then to say even if I can't be intimate um I can will the good for this person and there's a strange uh kind of comfort in saying yep you might be able to hold me off but you cannot keep me from loving you I can still will your good and pray that for you. [00:06:28]

And um so uh that just that thought of uh I can continue to love I can continue to will the person's good yeah and and the trust there of I can surrender this person's life to the love and care of our heavenly father and I can seek the love and care from our heavenly father that I need so many times I think we can get so hung up in like god would you fix this thing that we don't get to what you said john I feel hurt and I can actually seek the comfort of the spirit in where I am and that is a prayer that I believe god answers even when maybe this other piece doesn't feel answered or doesn't feel resolved the way that we would desire in our human wisdom. [00:07:11]

You know um I never have to give up ultimately uh that notion that uh time lasts a really long while and then there's eternity and so it may look today like the relationship will never be repaired but I don't have to predict tomorrow or next week or next year other days will come and that beyond that um uh that notion of prayer uh I remember Dallas Willard writing in one of his books about Jesus with Peter where Peter's gonna go and deny him and Jesus knows this and he doesn't try to fix him but he doesn't give advice what he says to him Satan has desired to sift you like wheat but I have prayed for you. [00:08:07]

And it's like uh I think sometimes I can dismiss prayer as it's not very much it's it's kind of abstract it's kind of thin it's kind of distant but really for Jesus who would have been the best advice giver in the world and could have come up with real good solutions for Peter he doesn't try to fix him he just uh for Jesus the best thing he could do for Peter was to pray for him and that thought helps me. [00:08:49]

And I think um for me I think the thing that would be the stickiest in my faith in that particular scenario is I'd be asking the question what does resurrection life really mean if if something is if something is completely dead and I have no more control over like anything that I could do how is what is really like living hope and resurrection life look like and I think that might be the deeper question um and one of the one of the things I appreciate so much about dealing with hardship and relationships is I really think this is the way that we all become theologians like we really are asking the questions where is god in suffering and um what does it mean to have a loving god and what does it mean to live in this world right so and not just in an abstract way but how does that change the way I look and the change change the way that I feel and how do I relate to this other person. [00:03:20]

Gosh I just John I just imagine like writing that question you know and all the story behind that and all of the the pain and probably the hope and the trying and all of that that's gone on but um and I know you and I both we have a background in psychology and so often times I'm I'm first entering in and trying to enter in with a sense of yeah what would that feel like. [00:02:53]

And I think John I can't think of any hardship in my life personally that hasn't impacted shaped or deepened my understanding of god like so which means there is actual growing to do you know between what I thought I believed or what I thought I understood and then trying to really work that out through pain. [00:04:22]

I can want for there to be peace and I can try to bring peace I remember many years ago in a really difficult relational situation realizing um that I desperately wanted intimacy with somebody and that might never happen but that I could still love them and so there was something for me about in that moment kind of distinguishing between intimacy intimacy is a feeling or a sense experience of closeness yes and that I can't have if the other person doesn't want it. [00:05:35]

I think that's so good I think that notion that uh actually part of the answer to the question is uh I cannot make peace. [00:05:24]

I think sometimes I can dismiss prayer as it's not very much it's it's kind of abstract it's kind of thin it's kind of distant but really for Jesus who would have been the best advice giver in the world and could have come up with real good solutions for Peter he doesn't try to fix him he just uh for Jesus the best thing he could do for Peter was to pray for him and that thought helps me. [00:08:49]

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Transcript
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