Finding Healing Through Community in Times of Grief

 

Summary

### Summary

Gracious God and Father, I confess my need for you in this moment. You clothe me with Holy Spirit power to handle a word that is inspired and preserved by that same Spirit. And I pray that today it would work. And I pray that we would bring out with clarity and incisiveness in such a way that we would be a community in the truest sense of the word. That we would be the sort of place where our pain and disappointment doesn't drive us away from one another, but it drives us towards each other. I pray that in that space we would experience your very presence and the healing that we most need. We ask that in Jesus' name. Amen.

People often assume that my name, Jeremiah, was chosen because of the prophet Jeremiah. However, my father named me after Jeremiah Johnson, a mountain man who lived a life of solitude and vengeance. This story of Jeremiah Johnson resonates with me because, like him, I have the potential to retreat into isolation when faced with pain and grief. Johnson's stoic response to his suffering, choosing to live in the mountains and grow a beard, is a reflection of how many of us deal with our own pain. We believe that detachment and self-preservation will protect us from further hurt. But this morning, we are learning from Job that God's presence and healing are found in community, not in isolation.

Job's story teaches us that in the midst of our grief and pain, we must lean into our community. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Job's friends initially showed up with good intentions, but their fear of his calamity made them ineffective comforters. They were like a stream in the desert that promises refreshment but dries up before it can be reached. Job didn't ask his friends to fix his problems; he just needed their presence and support. This is a reminder that community is essential, even when it feels inefficient and exasperating.

Creating a communal space for grief requires intentionality, time, and presence. Job's friends traveled hundreds of miles to be with him, showing their commitment. They sat with him in silence for seven days, sharing in his suffering. This kind of intentionality is necessary to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships that can support us in times of need. However, maintaining this communal space is challenging. It requires ongoing effort and a willingness to stay engaged, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Job's friends eventually failed him by speaking out of turn and offering unhelpful advice. Job's response to them highlights the difficulty of maintaining community in the face of suffering. He calls them "miserable comforters" and wishes they had remained silent. Despite their failures, Job continues to engage with them, showing his commitment to community. This is a powerful example of the decision we must make to stay connected, even when it is hard.

The book of Job is written in a way that mirrors the experience of grief. It is disorienting and repetitive, much like the process of walking with someone through their pain. This inefficiency is a reflection of the reality that healing in community is not a quick fix. It requires patience and a willingness to endure the discomfort of not having all the answers.

In the end, God speaks out of the whirlwind and restores Job's fortunes. But this restoration comes through Job's prayer for his friends, highlighting the importance of community in the healing process. God's design is for us to experience His presence and healing together, not in isolation. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of this. In His suffering, He did not retreat into isolation but extended forgiveness and kindness. He prayed for His attackers and paid for their sins, creating a community of grace and understanding.

As we reflect on Job's story, we are reminded that our pain and suffering are not meant to be borne alone. We are called to lean into our community, to create and maintain spaces for grief, and to experience God's healing together. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. Together, we will taste the grace of King Jesus and be rebuilt in our hearts.

### Key Takeaways

1. The Temptation of Isolation: Like Jeremiah Johnson, we often believe that detachment and self-preservation will protect us from further hurt. However, this is a lie that tempts us to isolate ourselves in moments of disappointment, loss, or grief. True safety and healing are found in community, where we can share our pain and receive support. [32:41]

2. The Inefficiency of Community: Walking with others through their pain is often inefficient and exasperating. It requires patience and a willingness to endure repetitive and disorienting conversations. However, this inefficiency is a reflection of the reality that healing in community is not a quick fix. It requires ongoing effort and a commitment to stay engaged. [49:03]

3. The Importance of Intentionality: Creating a communal space for grief requires intentionality, time, and presence. Job's friends traveled hundreds of miles to be with him, showing their commitment. This kind of intentionality is necessary to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships that can support us in times of need. [34:44]

4. The Challenge of Maintaining Community: Maintaining communal space for grief is challenging. It requires ongoing effort and a willingness to stay engaged, even when it feels uncomfortable. Job's friends initially showed up with good intentions, but their fear of his calamity made them ineffective comforters. Despite their failures, Job continued to engage with them, showing his commitment to community. [50:29]

5. Healing in Community: God's design is for us to experience His presence and healing together, not in isolation. In the end, God speaks out of the whirlwind and restores Job's fortunes through his prayer for his friends. This highlights the importance of community in the healing process. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of this, extending forgiveness and kindness in His suffering and creating a community of grace and understanding. [57:01]

### Youtube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[30:25] - Introduction: Jeremiah Johnson
[32:41] - The Temptation of Isolation
[34:44] - Creating Communal Space for Grief
[44:48] - The Inefficiency of Community
[50:29] - Maintaining Community
[57:01] - Healing in Community
[01:00:16] - Jesus: The Greater Job
[01:01:49] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Reading

1. Job 2:11-13 (ESV)
> "Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him. And when they saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads toward heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great."

2. Job 6:14-21 (ESV)
> "He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. My brothers are treacherous as a torrent-bed, as torrential streams that pass away, which are dark with ice, and where the snow hides itself. When they melt, they disappear; when it is hot, they vanish from their place. The caravans turn aside from their course; they go up into the waste and perish. The caravans of Tema look, the travelers of Sheba hope. They are ashamed because they were confident; they come there and are disappointed. For you have now become nothing; you see my calamity and are afraid."

3. Job 42:7-10 (ESV)
> "After the Lord had spoken these words to Job, the Lord said to Eliphaz the Temanite: 'My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has. Now therefore take seven bulls and seven rams and go to my servant Job and offer up a burnt offering for yourselves. And my servant Job shall pray for you, for I will accept his prayer not to deal with you according to your folly. For you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.' So Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite went and did what the Lord had told them, and the Lord accepted Job's prayer. And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job, when he had prayed for his friends. And the Lord gave Job twice as much as he had before."

### Observation Questions

1. What actions did Job's friends take when they first arrived to comfort him? ([34:44])
2. How does Job describe his friends' initial support and their subsequent failure in Job 6:14-21? ([43:24])
3. What was the outcome of Job praying for his friends in Job 42:7-10? ([55:31])
4. How does the sermon describe the inefficiency and challenges of maintaining community during times of grief? ([50:29])

### Interpretation Questions

1. Why is it significant that Job's friends traveled long distances and sat in silence with him for seven days? ([34:44])
2. How does Job's description of his friends as "torrential streams that pass away" reflect his feelings about their support? ([43:24])
3. What does the restoration of Job's fortunes after he prayed for his friends suggest about the role of community in healing? ([55:31])
4. How does the sermon illustrate the importance of intentionality and presence in creating a communal space for grief? ([34:44])

### Application Questions

1. Reflect on a time when you felt tempted to isolate yourself during a period of pain or grief. How did that affect your healing process? ([32:41])
2. Job's friends initially showed great commitment by traveling to be with him. How can you show similar intentionality in supporting someone in your community who is suffering? ([34:44])
3. The sermon mentions the inefficiency of community and the repetitive nature of supporting someone through grief. How can you prepare yourself to be patient and present for someone in need, even when it feels exasperating? ([50:29])
4. Job continued to engage with his friends despite their failures. How can you practice forgiveness and maintain relationships with those who may not fully understand your pain? ([53:56])
5. The sermon emphasizes the importance of creating and maintaining communal spaces for grief. What practical steps can you take to cultivate deeper, more supportive relationships within your small group or church community? ([39:39])
6. How can you apply the example of Jesus, who extended forgiveness and kindness in His suffering, to your interactions with others during difficult times? ([01:00:16])
7. Think of someone in your life who is currently going through a tough time. What specific actions can you take this week to offer them support and presence, even if you don't have all the answers? ([34:44])

Devotional

Day 1: The Temptation of Isolation
When faced with pain and grief, it is natural to want to retreat into isolation, believing that detachment and self-preservation will protect us from further hurt. This is a lie that tempts us to isolate ourselves in moments of disappointment, loss, or grief. True safety and healing are found in community, where we can share our pain and receive support. Like Jeremiah Johnson, many of us might think that solitude is the answer, but Job's story teaches us otherwise. Job's friends, despite their eventual failures, initially showed up to be with him, demonstrating the importance of presence and support in times of suffering.

Isolation might seem like a safe haven, but it often leads to deeper despair and loneliness. God's design is for us to lean into our community, to find solace and healing together. When we share our burdens with others, we open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing God's presence through the love and support of those around us. Remember, it is in community that we find the strength to endure and the grace to heal. [32:41]

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"

Reflection: Think of a recent time when you felt tempted to isolate yourself due to pain or disappointment. How can you reach out to someone in your community for support today?


Day 2: The Inefficiency of Community
Walking with others through their pain is often inefficient and exasperating. It requires patience and a willingness to endure repetitive and disorienting conversations. This inefficiency is a reflection of the reality that healing in community is not a quick fix. It requires ongoing effort and a commitment to stay engaged. Job's friends initially showed up with good intentions, but their fear of his calamity made them ineffective comforters. They were like a stream in the desert that promises refreshment but dries up before it can be reached.

Despite the challenges, the inefficiency of community is a necessary part of the healing process. It mirrors the disorienting and repetitive nature of grief itself. By staying engaged and committed to one another, we create a space where true healing can occur. This process may be slow and uncomfortable, but it is through this shared journey that we experience God's presence and support. [49:03]

Galatians 6:2 (ESV): "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you found it difficult to support someone through their pain. How can you practice patience and commitment in your relationships, even when it feels inefficient?


Day 3: The Importance of Intentionality
Creating a communal space for grief requires intentionality, time, and presence. Job's friends traveled hundreds of miles to be with him, showing their commitment. This kind of intentionality is necessary to cultivate deep, meaningful relationships that can support us in times of need. It is not enough to simply be present; we must be intentional in our efforts to support and comfort one another.

Intentionality means making a conscious effort to reach out, to listen, and to be there for others. It involves setting aside time and being fully present in the moment. By doing so, we create a space where others feel safe to share their pain and where true healing can take place. This intentionality is a reflection of God's love and care for us, and it is through these intentional acts that we experience His presence in our lives. [34:44]

Romans 12:15 (ESV): "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."

Reflection: Think of someone in your life who is currently going through a difficult time. How can you be intentional in offering your support and presence to them this week?


Day 4: The Challenge of Maintaining Community
Maintaining communal space for grief is challenging. It requires ongoing effort and a willingness to stay engaged, even when it feels uncomfortable. Job's friends initially showed up with good intentions, but their fear of his calamity made them ineffective comforters. Despite their failures, Job continued to engage with them, showing his commitment to community. This is a powerful example of the decision we must make to stay connected, even when it is hard.

Community is not a one-time effort; it is an ongoing commitment. It involves being there for one another through the ups and downs, through the discomfort and the challenges. By staying engaged and committed, we create a space where true healing and support can occur. This commitment to community reflects God's unwavering love and faithfulness to us. [50:29]

Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV): "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt tempted to withdraw from your community. How can you recommit to staying engaged and supporting those around you, even when it feels challenging?


Day 5: Healing in Community
God's design is for us to experience His presence and healing together, not in isolation. In the end, God speaks out of the whirlwind and restores Job's fortunes through his prayer for his friends. This highlights the importance of community in the healing process. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of this, extending forgiveness and kindness in His suffering and creating a community of grace and understanding.

Healing in community is a reflection of God's desire for us to be connected and supported by one another. It is through our shared experiences and mutual support that we encounter God's presence and healing. By leaning into our community, we create a space where God's grace and love can be experienced in profound ways. Together, we can bear one another's burdens and find the strength to heal and grow. [57:01]

James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."

Reflection: Think of a time when you experienced healing through the support of your community. How can you contribute to creating a space of grace and understanding for others in your community today?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "Community is kind of like that. You don't make time for it. You don't prioritize it. You don't seek it out. If you don't have a green thumb that spent many, many hours in unseen places cultivating what's coming out of the soil, rest assured, that it's going to grow wild and overgrown. We're tempted to look at those who have rich, varied friendships, like deep connection. We're tempted to look at it and like a couple strolling through, go, isn't that beautiful? Why don't I experience that in my life?" [39:39](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

2. "The creation of communal space for the real stuff of life requires time. And intentionality and priority. And so at the outset of this journey of Job, what we have to recognize is that we are going to need something when the day comes that is actually going to be cultivated by a choice and time and energy that is spent in many secret moments beforehand." [40:39](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

3. "The truth is, one of the reasons that community is really hard and pain is because, quite frankly, it's a little bit terrifying to step into that situation. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been in the position of Job's friends that show up in the midst of someone's disappointment or pain or grief? I'll tell you, it makes me fidgety and dumb." [46:20](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

4. "Your struggle and your pain, it's a gift. It's a gift to those around you. It's the gift of yourself. Don't pull the covers over your head. Don't ride off into the mountains and quit shaving. Don't start taking shots at anybody that gets too close. Lean in. Lean in. It will be hard, but it's going to be worth it. We're going to meet the presence of God." [01:01:49](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

### Quotes for Members

1. "Friends, you are not meant to go it alone. We have to create communal space for grief. And what we see here is that Job and his friends have done through intentionality, time, and through presence. But then as you press into the rest of the story, what starts so beautifully, men that are rocking and shaking their head and groaning and weeping and being silent, that what we realize is what has such promise in chapter 2 and chapters 3 through 37 in a long, painful spiral does not pan out the way that anyone would have hoped." [41:47](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

2. "The truth is, one of the reasons that community is really hard and pain is because, quite frankly, it's a little bit terrifying to step into that situation. Have you ever been there? Have you ever been in the position of Job's friends that show up in the midst of someone's disappointment or pain or grief? I'll tell you, it makes me fidgety and dumb." [46:20](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

3. "The brilliance is that the shape of the book actually embodies the content of the book. Saying like, if you go in, it's going to feel like a swirl. What you realize is if you're going to make a commitment to walk with people in the midst of their disappointment and their grief and their grief, you're going to feel like a swirl. And if you're going to make a commitment to walk with people in their pain, it's going to be very inefficient." [49:03](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

4. "The reason it's worth it is because it is in the context of community that two things are going to happen in this book. Wisdom is going to emerge from all of the back and forth and the clarity begins to emerge because God meets them in the midst of their broken commitment to stay with one another. The divine emerges and healing comes because of their commitment to stay with one another." [53:56](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

5. "You see, God emerged out of the communal wrestling and he began to speak. And then beautifully, he didn't offer healing strength like miraculously dripping down from the heavens. He showed up and he spoke and then he said, your healing is baked into the community. You follow? What he does is he shows up and what he says is, listen, you guys that have been wrestling through all this, my word has emerged out of that and now what I want you to do is this, you go say I'm sorry. You pray for them." [57:01](Download raw clip | Download cropped clip | Download vertical captioned clip)

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