Finding Growth and Hope in Church Pain

Pain within the church community can be uniquely wounding, often because we expect church to be a place of safety, kindness, and support. Yet, the reality is that church pain—whether from leaders or fellow believers—can cut deeply. God grieves with those who are hurt, and He warns those who cause harm, but He also uses pain, even within the church, as a tool for our growth and sanctification. Like a skilled surgeon, God sometimes allows or even brings discomfort into our lives, not to harm us, but to remove what is corrosive and to shape us more into the image of Christ.

Throughout Scripture, we see that even the most faithful—John the Baptist, Mary and Martha, and even Jesus Himself—experienced disappointment, rejection, and pain at the hands of religious people. These moments of suffering were not signs of God’s absence or neglect, but opportunities for deeper trust and revelation. When our expectations of God or His people are unmet, we are invited to examine those expectations and to trust God’s greater wisdom and timing.

God’s discipline is not punishment, but loving correction. It is painful, but it is purposeful. He disciplines those He loves, treating us as His own children, not to reject us, but to draw us closer and to share in His holiness. The pain we experience is not a sign of failure or abandonment, but of God’s commitment to our transformation. He delights in us, values us, and is relentless in His pursuit to make us more like Jesus.

The call is to endure and not to run when pain comes, especially church pain. Endurance and submission to God’s process are acts of faith, trusting that He is working all things for our good, conforming us to the image of His Son. Even when we feel like we are being put to death, Jesus is with us, sustaining us, and promising that joy and redemption are on the other side of our suffering. The invitation is to fix our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, and to trust that, in the end, it will all make sense and be worth it.

Key Takeaways

• 1. God’s Refining Pain Is Intentional, Not Accidental God sometimes allows or even brings pain into our lives, not as random suffering, but as a refining fire to remove what is harmful and to make us more like Christ. Recognizing that God is sovereign over our trials helps us avoid confusion and bitterness, and instead invites us to trust His loving purposes even when we don’t understand. [03:42]
• 2. Unmet Expectations Are Opportunities for Deeper Trust When God doesn’t meet our expectations—whether in our circumstances, our dreams, or our relationships within the church—it’s an invitation to let go of our limited understanding and trust Him more deeply. Like John the Baptist and Mary and Martha, we may feel disappointed or even offended, but God is often setting us up for a greater revelation of Himself and a deeper identity rooted in Him alone. [06:51]
• 3. Enduring Church Pain Is Part of Following Jesus Jesus Himself experienced the deepest opposition from religious people, and so will we. Enduring hardship, especially within the church, is not a sign that something is wrong with us or with God’s plan, but rather a mark of true discipleship. God uses these experiences to train us in righteousness and peace, producing a harvest in us that could not come any other way. [11:47]
• 4. God’s Discipline Is a Sign of His Love and Acceptance Painful seasons of discipline are not evidence of God’s rejection, but of His deep love and commitment to us as His children. He disciplines us not to punish, but to shape, restore, and draw us closer to Himself. Our value is not determined by the approval or rejection of others, but by the delight and acceptance of our Heavenly Father, who never throws away what is His. [22:23]
• 5. Submission and Endurance Lead to Greater Christlikeness The path to sharing in God’s holiness is through enduring and submitting to His process, even when it is painful and confusing. Saying “yes, Lord” in the midst of suffering is an act of faith that trusts God’s wisdom and timing. As we fix our eyes on Jesus and refuse to run, we are assured that God is working all things for our good, and that resurrection and joy await us on the other side of our cross. [28:38]

Youtube Chapters

• [00:00] - Welcome
• [00:51] - The Temptation to Run from Church Pain
• [03:42] - God’s Purpose in Allowing Pain
• [05:24] - Unmet Expectations and Trusting God
• [06:51] - Letting Go of False Beliefs About God
• [08:05] - Learning Humility Through Disappointment
• [11:47] - Jesus and the Reality of Church Pain
• [15:13] - The Value of Suffering and Discipline
• [16:36] - Personal Story: Disappointment and God’s Sufficiency
• [19:33] - Don’t Lose Heart in Discipline
• [20:21] - God’s Perfect Fatherhood
• [22:23] - God’s Delight and Acceptance
• [23:23] - The Story of Punchinello: True Value
• [24:50] - Focusing on God’s Love in Hard Seasons
• [26:12] - God’s Aim: Sharing in His Holiness
• [27:23] - Enduring and Submitting to God’s Process
• [28:38] - Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus
• [31:25] - Laying Down with Jesus in Suffering
• [34:11] - Prayer and Closing Remarks

Bible Reading

Hebrews 12:1-11 (ESV) — 1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.
4 In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
“My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives.”
7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline?
8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live?
10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Romans 8:28-29 (ESV) — 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Observation Questions

1. According to Hebrews 12:2-3, what did Jesus endure, and what was his motivation for enduring it?
2. In Hebrews 12:5-6, what is the reason given for God’s discipline in our lives?
3. The sermon mentioned that even Jesus experienced opposition and pain from religious people. What examples from the Bible or the sermon illustrate this? [[11:47]]
4. What does Romans 8:28-29 say is God’s ultimate purpose in allowing all things, including pain, in the lives of believers?

Interpretation Questions

1. Why might church pain feel more intense or personal than other types of pain, according to the sermon? [[00:51]]
2. How does understanding God’s discipline as an act of love rather than punishment change the way someone might respond to hardship? [[21:37]]
3. The sermon says that unmet expectations with God or the church are opportunities for deeper trust. What does it look like to “let go” of expectations and trust God’s timing and wisdom? [[06:51]]
4. What does it mean to “fix our eyes on Jesus” when we are experiencing pain or disappointment in the church? [[28:38]]

Application Questions

1. The sermon encourages us not to run from church pain but to endure and let God use it for our growth. Is there a situation in your church experience where you have been tempted to run? What would it look like to “stay” and let God work in you through it? [[00:51]]
2. When have you felt disappointed by God or by other believers because your expectations weren’t met? How did you respond, and what might you do differently now in light of this teaching? [[06:51]]
3. The pastor shared about a time when he felt rejected by church people and how God used it to teach him humility and dependence on God’s approval rather than people’s. Can you relate to this? How might God be using a painful situation in your life to shape your character? [[08:05]]
4. Hebrews 12:11 says that discipline is painful but produces a harvest of righteousness and peace. Can you think of a time when a painful season led to spiritual growth or a deeper relationship with God? What helped you endure?
5. The sermon used the story of Punchinello to illustrate that our value comes from God’s delight in us, not from the approval or rejection of others. Are there “dots” (negative labels or wounds) you are carrying from church or other relationships? What would it look like to bring those to God and let Him speak truth over you? [[23:23]]
6. Romans 8:28-29 says God is working all things for our good, to make us more like Jesus. Is there a current struggle or pain you are facing that you need to trust God with? How can you remind yourself of His purpose in it this week? [[26:12]]
7. The sermon calls us to say “yes, Lord” and submit to God’s process, even when it’s hard. What is one practical way you can practice submission and endurance in your current season? [[27:23]]