Finding God in Grief: C.S. Lewis's Journey
Summary
C.S. Lewis's journey through grief and faith offers profound insights into the human experience of suffering and the search for meaning. As a young boy, Lewis faced the death of his mother, an event that left him overwhelmed with terror and grief. This early encounter with loss shaped his understanding of pain and fear, themes he would explore deeply in his later works. Despite his initial atheism, Lewis's intellectual pursuits and reflections led him to a belief in a personal God, eventually embracing the Christian faith.
Lewis's relationship with Joy Davidman, a woman who defied his expectations, further illustrates the complexities of love and loss. Their marriage, marked by her battle with cancer, blossomed into a deep romance, only to be cut short by her untimely death. This personal tragedy prompted Lewis to write "A Grief Observed," a raw and honest account of his mourning process. The book contrasts sharply with his earlier work, "The Problem of Pain," highlighting the difference between theoretical understanding and lived experience.
Theodicy, or the attempt to reconcile the existence of a good and powerful God with the presence of suffering, often falters in the face of personal tragedy. Lewis's writings reflect this struggle, as he grapples with the nature of God amidst his own pain. He questions whether God is a benevolent surgeon who inflicts pain for a higher purpose, or if the experience of suffering is simply a door slammed in one's face.
In the midst of grief, Lewis finds solace in the act of observation rather than explanation. Mourning, he suggests, is not something to be fixed or resolved, but rather witnessed and shared. This perspective aligns with the biblical call to mourn with those who mourn, emphasizing the power of presence over solutions. The African-American spiritual tradition, with its rich history of lament and hope, offers a poignant example of finding strength and liberation through shared suffering.
Ultimately, Lewis's story reminds us that in our deepest pain, we encounter God in unique and transformative ways. Grief, though inexplicable, becomes a sacred space where we meet the Man of Sorrows, who is intimately acquainted with our suffering.
Key Takeaways:
1. Grief is a profound and overwhelming experience that can feel like fear, as C.S. Lewis discovered in his youth. It is not something to be explained away but rather observed and felt deeply. In this observation, we find a connection with God and others who share in our mourning. [01:50]
2. The journey from atheism to faith is often marked by intellectual exploration and personal reflection. For Lewis, the realization of a personal God came through reason and contemplation, leading him to embrace the Christian faith and its teachings. [02:53]
3. Love and loss are intertwined in the human experience, as seen in Lewis's relationship with Joy Davidman. Their story illustrates how deep connections can form even amidst suffering, and how love can flourish in unexpected circumstances. [04:30]
4. Theodicy, or the problem of evil, challenges our understanding of God's nature. Lewis's writings reveal the tension between intellectual explanations of suffering and the raw reality of personal grief, prompting us to question and seek deeper understanding. [06:57]
5. Mourning is a communal and sacred act, not a problem to be solved. By standing with others in their grief, we fulfill the biblical call to mourn with those who mourn, finding strength and solace in shared suffering and the presence of God. [09:44]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [01:14] - Early Life and Grief
- [02:08] - Intellectual Journey
- [03:08] - Surprised by Joy
- [04:15] - Love and Loss
- [05:08] - The Problem of Pain
- [06:06] - Theodicy and Personal Tragedy
- [07:10] - God's Nature in Suffering
- [08:00] - A Grief Observed
- [09:15] - Observing Grief
- [10:14] - Power of Shared Suffering
- [11:03] - Spirituals and Liberation
- [11:34] - Grieving Together
- [12:09] - Meeting God in Grief
- [12:27] - Conclusion and Invitation
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Romans 12:15 - "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn."
2. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 - "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."
3. Isaiah 53:3 - "He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain."
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### Observation Questions
1. How did C.S. Lewis's early experience with the death of his mother shape his understanding of grief and fear? [01:33]
2. What role did intellectual exploration play in Lewis's journey from atheism to faith? [02:53]
3. How did Lewis's relationship with Joy Davidman illustrate the complexities of love and loss? [04:15]
4. What is the significance of the title "A Grief Observed" in contrast to "The Problem of Pain"? [09:15]
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### Interpretation Questions
1. In what ways does Lewis's description of God as a "vivisectionist" challenge traditional views of God's nature in the face of suffering? [06:57]
2. How does the African-American spiritual tradition provide a framework for understanding shared suffering and hope? [10:14]
3. What does it mean to "mourn with those who mourn" in a practical sense, according to the sermon? [09:44]
4. How does Lewis's personal experience of grief provide a deeper understanding of theodicy and the problem of evil? [05:55]
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### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you experienced grief. How did it affect your relationship with God and others? How can you use that experience to support someone else who is grieving? [09:31]
2. Lewis found solace in observing grief rather than trying to explain it. How can you apply this perspective in your own life when facing personal or communal loss? [09:15]
3. The sermon highlights the power of presence over solutions in times of mourning. How can you be more present for someone who is currently experiencing grief? [09:44]
4. Consider the role of intellectual exploration in your own faith journey. How has reason and contemplation influenced your beliefs about God? [02:53]
5. Lewis's relationship with Joy Davidman shows how love can flourish amidst suffering. How can you nurture relationships in your life, even in difficult circumstances? [04:15]
6. The sermon suggests that we encounter God uniquely in our deepest pain. How can you remain open to experiencing God's presence in your own times of suffering? [12:09]
7. Reflect on the African-American spiritual tradition's approach to lament and hope. How can you incorporate elements of this tradition into your own spiritual practice to find strength and liberation? [10:14]
Devotional
Day 1: Grief as a Sacred Space
Grief is a profound and overwhelming experience that can feel like fear, as C.S. Lewis discovered in his youth. It is not something to be explained away but rather observed and felt deeply. In this observation, we find a connection with God and others who share in our mourning. Lewis's early encounter with the death of his mother left him with a deep understanding of pain and fear, which he later explored in his writings. This experience taught him that grief is not a problem to be solved but a sacred space where we can encounter God and find solace in shared suffering. [01:50]
Psalm 34:18-19 (ESV): "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."
Reflection: Think of a time when you experienced deep grief. How did you feel God's presence in that moment, and how can you be present for someone else who is grieving today?
Day 2: Intellectual Journey to Faith
The journey from atheism to faith is often marked by intellectual exploration and personal reflection. For Lewis, the realization of a personal God came through reason and contemplation, leading him to embrace the Christian faith and its teachings. His intellectual pursuits and reflections on the nature of God and suffering eventually led him to a belief in a personal God. This journey highlights the importance of engaging both the mind and heart in the search for truth and meaning. [02:53]
Jeremiah 29:13-14 (ESV): "You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
Reflection: What questions or doubts do you have about your faith? How can you seek answers through study, prayer, and conversation with others this week?
Day 3: Love and Loss Intertwined
Love and loss are intertwined in the human experience, as seen in Lewis's relationship with Joy Davidman. Their story illustrates how deep connections can form even amidst suffering, and how love can flourish in unexpected circumstances. Despite the pain of Joy's battle with cancer and her eventual death, their marriage blossomed into a deep romance. This experience taught Lewis that love is not diminished by loss but can be enriched by it, offering a glimpse of the eternal love of God. [04:30]
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV): "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."
Reflection: Reflect on a relationship in your life that has been marked by both love and loss. How has this relationship shaped your understanding of love, and how can you express gratitude for it today?
Day 4: Theodicy and Personal Tragedy
Theodicy, or the problem of evil, challenges our understanding of God's nature. Lewis's writings reveal the tension between intellectual explanations of suffering and the raw reality of personal grief, prompting us to question and seek deeper understanding. He grappled with the nature of God amidst his own pain, questioning whether God is a benevolent surgeon who inflicts pain for a higher purpose or if suffering is simply a door slammed in one's face. This struggle invites us to wrestle with our own questions about God's goodness in the face of suffering. [06:57]
Habakkuk 1:2-3 (ESV): "O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you 'Violence!' and you will not save? Why do you make me see iniquity, and why do you idly look at wrong? Destruction and violence are before me; strife and contention arise."
Reflection: What is one area of suffering in your life where you struggle to see God's goodness? How can you bring this struggle to God in prayer and seek His presence in the midst of it?
Day 5: Mourning as a Communal Act
Mourning is a communal and sacred act, not a problem to be solved. By standing with others in their grief, we fulfill the biblical call to mourn with those who mourn, finding strength and solace in shared suffering and the presence of God. Lewis found solace in the act of observation rather than explanation, suggesting that mourning is not something to be fixed but rather witnessed and shared. This perspective aligns with the biblical call to mourn with those who mourn, emphasizing the power of presence over solutions. [09:44]
Romans 12:15-16 (ESV): "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight."
Reflection: Who in your life is currently experiencing grief or loss? How can you be present with them in their mourning, offering support and comfort without trying to fix their pain?
Quotes
Jaxi, he writes in one version of his story called "Surprised by Joy" about when his mom had died. He's 9 years old. He said, "I was taken into the bedroom where my mother lay dead, as they said, to see her in reality. So I knew at once to see it. There was nothing that a grown-up would call disfigurement except for the total disfigurement, which is death itself. Grief was overwhelmed in terror." [00:01:27]
He himself was an atheist from when he was fairly young, growing up, and then it was really reading and thinking and reflection that brought him to believe first that there must be a personal God behind our universe, and then that the God described in the Bible and proclaimed by Jesus is, in fact, who their God is. [00:02:43]
Joy Davidman Gresham was in her late 30s when they met. Some of Lewis's friends thought that his memoir "Surprised by Joy," because it was written before they got married but after he had met her, was actually kind of a joke. It's Joy is a great theme in the book, but that was also referring to this woman Joy that he was surprised by. [00:03:18]
They got married in a civil ceremony so that her boys could attend school in England. After her cancer diagnosis, their marriage was blessed by the church in her hospital room, and it was only after that that the friendship blossomed into romance and love and sexual intimacy for just a brief time until her life was cut short by cancer. [00:04:14]
Lewis characterizes human pain as God's megaphone, a blast of the Divine will in response to our perennial deafness to it. For Lewis, our souls are made perfect through suffering. "The Problem of Pain" and "A Grief Observed," which is written after Joy dies, appear to have been written by different authors: one a religious apologist in his university study, the other a widower in an empty house filled with memories. [00:05:11]
Theodicy is the attempt to explain or solve the problem of evil. How can God be good and all-powerful and there be so much suffering in the world? Theodicy perennially founders on the shoals of personal tragedy, not because its intellectual tenets are faulty, but because our hearts have different requirements. [00:05:40]
Lewis goes farther and harder. For him, the great question is not "Is there a God?" but "What kind of God?" He calls God the great vivisector. Sounds like Job charging God with shooting poisonous arrows at him, a scientist who inflicts pain on helpless creatures in the interest of a higher good. [00:06:47]
Lewis confesses how hard it is not to say, "God forgive God," not "God forgive me" or "God forgive her." "God forgive God." He characterizes God as a door slammed in your face and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. This is a different tack than the one he follows in "Surprised by Joy." [00:07:17]
The book is not called "A Grief Managed" or "A Grief Explained" or "A Grief Resolved" or "A Grief Recovered From." It is simply "A Grief Observed" because at its deepest level, it cannot be explained. And when there is somebody that we love or some loss that is great, sometimes in this world, it cannot be replaced. [00:09:03]
Paul says that we are to mourn with those who mourn. He doesn't say explain their mourning. He doesn't say help them to recover from it. He doesn't say fix it. Just somehow, when we stand with people in mourning or when we stand before God in our own, it's the interesting thing. [00:09:36]
To know Jesus as the one who suffered and who suffers alongside and with our suffering has a kind of power to it that an explanation cannot bring. Frederick Douglass, the great orator and Christian and prophet of emancipation in the 19th century, said a keen observer will note when listening to many spirituals from the black tradition that they have meaning on multiple levels. [00:10:14]
If you know somebody who is grieving, grieve with them. Think of somebody I know who these little days right here are just difficult days because they're marked by a series of losses. And something happens when we grieve with one another here in the fellowship of the withered hand. [00:11:22]
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