Finding God in Grief: C.S. Lewis's Journey

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Jaxi, he writes in one version of his story called "Surprised by Joy" about when his mom had died. He's 9 years old. He said, "I was taken into the bedroom where my mother lay dead, as they said, to see her in reality. So I knew at once to see it. There was nothing that a grown-up would call disfigurement except for the total disfigurement, which is death itself. Grief was overwhelmed in terror." [00:01:27]

He himself was an atheist from when he was fairly young, growing up, and then it was really reading and thinking and reflection that brought him to believe first that there must be a personal God behind our universe, and then that the God described in the Bible and proclaimed by Jesus is, in fact, who their God is. [00:02:43]

Joy Davidman Gresham was in her late 30s when they met. Some of Lewis's friends thought that his memoir "Surprised by Joy," because it was written before they got married but after he had met her, was actually kind of a joke. It's Joy is a great theme in the book, but that was also referring to this woman Joy that he was surprised by. [00:03:18]

They got married in a civil ceremony so that her boys could attend school in England. After her cancer diagnosis, their marriage was blessed by the church in her hospital room, and it was only after that that the friendship blossomed into romance and love and sexual intimacy for just a brief time until her life was cut short by cancer. [00:04:14]

Lewis characterizes human pain as God's megaphone, a blast of the Divine will in response to our perennial deafness to it. For Lewis, our souls are made perfect through suffering. "The Problem of Pain" and "A Grief Observed," which is written after Joy dies, appear to have been written by different authors: one a religious apologist in his university study, the other a widower in an empty house filled with memories. [00:05:11]

Theodicy is the attempt to explain or solve the problem of evil. How can God be good and all-powerful and there be so much suffering in the world? Theodicy perennially founders on the shoals of personal tragedy, not because its intellectual tenets are faulty, but because our hearts have different requirements. [00:05:40]

Lewis goes farther and harder. For him, the great question is not "Is there a God?" but "What kind of God?" He calls God the great vivisector. Sounds like Job charging God with shooting poisonous arrows at him, a scientist who inflicts pain on helpless creatures in the interest of a higher good. [00:06:47]

Lewis confesses how hard it is not to say, "God forgive God," not "God forgive me" or "God forgive her." "God forgive God." He characterizes God as a door slammed in your face and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. This is a different tack than the one he follows in "Surprised by Joy." [00:07:17]

The book is not called "A Grief Managed" or "A Grief Explained" or "A Grief Resolved" or "A Grief Recovered From." It is simply "A Grief Observed" because at its deepest level, it cannot be explained. And when there is somebody that we love or some loss that is great, sometimes in this world, it cannot be replaced. [00:09:03]

Paul says that we are to mourn with those who mourn. He doesn't say explain their mourning. He doesn't say help them to recover from it. He doesn't say fix it. Just somehow, when we stand with people in mourning or when we stand before God in our own, it's the interesting thing. [00:09:36]

To know Jesus as the one who suffered and who suffers alongside and with our suffering has a kind of power to it that an explanation cannot bring. Frederick Douglass, the great orator and Christian and prophet of emancipation in the 19th century, said a keen observer will note when listening to many spirituals from the black tradition that they have meaning on multiple levels. [00:10:14]

If you know somebody who is grieving, grieve with them. Think of somebody I know who these little days right here are just difficult days because they're marked by a series of losses. And something happens when we grieve with one another here in the fellowship of the withered hand. [00:11:22]

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