Fighting for Marriage: A Call to Persevere

Devotional

Day 1: Do Not Grow Weary in Doing Good—Persevering in Marriage

Marriage faces many headwinds—seasons of distance, disappointment, and change—but God calls us not to give up, even when the world says to walk away. The journey of marriage is marked by times when the shine wears off, when routines become ruts, or when life transitions leave couples feeling like strangers. Yet, just as we invest effort into our work or health, so too must we work at our marriages, refusing to fold under pressure. The promise is that, in due time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Let this be a word of hope: even when you feel you’ve run out of gas, God can fill your tank again. [53:16]

Galatians 6:9 (ESV)
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Reflection: What is one practical step you can take today to invest in your marriage, even if you feel tired or discouraged?

Day 2: God’s Design for Marriage—United as One

Marriage is not merely a human contract but a divine union, a supernatural joining together by God Himself. When a man and woman are united in marriage, they become one flesh—no longer two, but one. This union is so profound that Jesus warns, “What God has joined together, let no one separate.” The fabric of marriage is woven by God, and to tear it apart is to undo what He has created. Even when culture offers many reasons to leave, God’s heart is for unity, and He grieves the pain of separation. Yet, for those who have experienced divorce, there is grace and redemption, for God’s love and mercy are greater than our failures. [01:04:07]

Matthew 19:5-6 (ESV)
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Reflection: In what ways can you honor the unity God has created in your marriage, especially when you face challenges or disagreements?

Day 3: Grace in the Midst of Brokenness

God hates divorce not because He hates those who are divorced, but because He knows the deep pain and brokenness it brings. Like a loving father who hates the cancer that hurts his child, God’s heart aches for those who have suffered the loss of a marriage. Yet, in the midst of pain, there is grace—grace that covers our failures, our regrets, and our wounds. No one stands above another; all of us are in need of the grace of Jesus Christ, who redeems and renews us, even when life does not go as planned. In our closest relationships, we see most clearly how God loves us in spite of ourselves. [01:06:19]

Malachi 2:16 (ESV)
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

Reflection: If you carry pain or regret from your past, how can you open your heart to receive God’s grace and extend it to others today?

Day 4: Fixing Your Eyes on Jesus—The True Source of Fulfillment

No spouse can bear the weight of being your savior, your source of happiness, or your foundation—only Jesus can. When we expect our spouse to meet every need or to be the rock of our lives, we set ourselves up for disappointment and them for failure. Jesus alone is the author and perfecter of our faith, the well of living water that never runs dry. When both husband and wife fix their eyes on Jesus, they find the strength, purpose, and contentment that no human relationship can provide. Let your hope be anchored in Christ, and let Him be the center of your marriage. [01:10:28]

Hebrews 12:2 (ESV)
Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Reflection: Are there expectations you have placed on your spouse that only Jesus can fulfill? How can you shift your focus to Christ today?

Day 5: Flipping the Script—Taking Responsibility and Extending Grace

It is easy to see our spouse as the problem and ourselves as the victim, but God calls each of us to take responsibility for our own conduct. Marriage reveals our own flaws and selfishness, and the grace we have received from Christ empowers us to extend grace to our spouse. Instead of waiting for the other to change, ask God to show you where you need to be different. The X factor in a Christian marriage is grace—the same grace Jesus showed us on the cross. If you would take a bullet for your spouse, start by making small, daily sacrifices: put down your phone, turn off the TV, and choose to engage. Fight for your marriage with all your heart, and let grace be the foundation. [01:16:36]

Galatians 6:5 (ESV)
For each will have to bear his own load.

Reflection: What is one area in your marriage where you can take responsibility and show grace, rather than waiting for your spouse to change?

Sermon Summary

Today, we gathered to reflect on the powerful call not to give up—especially in the context of marriage. Drawing inspiration from the words of Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up,” we explored the reality that headwinds will inevitably blow through every marriage. These challenges come at different seasons: when the initial shine wears off, when children become independent, and especially in the “gray divorce” years after 50, when couples often find themselves alone together again. Our culture offers many reasons to walk away—growing apart, aging, self-improvement, financial strain, changes in intimacy, regrets, and diverging lifestyles. Yet, the call remains: don’t give up.

Marriage is a union that God Himself joins together, a supernatural bond that is not meant to be separated by human hands. Still, I recognize the pain and reality of divorce, and I want to extend grace and compassion to those who have walked that difficult road. God’s heart aches with yours, and His grace is abundant for all of us, no matter our story.

For those in struggling marriages, especially in the seasons where the temptation to give up is strong, the path forward is not found in prescriptive fixes or quick solutions. Sometimes, radical change is needed—a willingness to fight for what is most precious. This begins by fixing our eyes on Jesus, not expecting our spouse to be our savior or the source of our happiness. Only Christ can fill that role. We must also “flip the script,” moving from seeing our spouse as the problem to asking God to show us where we need to change. Marriage reveals our own brokenness and selfishness, but it also gives us the opportunity to extend the same grace to our spouse that Christ has given to us.

Fighting for marriage means prioritizing each other, seeking help when needed, and being willing to do the hard work of renewal. Even when the tank feels empty, it can be filled again. The story of the woman who set out to be the best wife she could be, only to fall in love with her husband again, reminds us that hope and restoration are possible. Above all, may we be a people who do not give up, who fight for our marriages, and who live out the grace we have received.

Key Takeaways

1. The headwinds that threaten marriage are real and often intensify at predictable seasons—when the newness fades, when children leave home, and in later years. These challenges are not signs of failure, but invitations to deeper commitment and intentional renewal. Recognizing these seasons allows us to prepare our hearts and lean into God’s sustaining grace rather than drifting apart. [53:16]
2. Our culture offers many justifications for giving up on marriage, but God’s design is for a union that is not easily separated. The supernatural joining of two lives is a sacred act, and we are called to honor that bond, even when it is difficult. Yet, for those who have experienced divorce, God’s grace and compassion are abundant—He meets us in our pain and offers redemption, not condemnation. [66:19]
3. Fixing our eyes on Jesus is foundational for a thriving marriage. When we expect our spouse to fulfill needs that only Christ can meet, we set ourselves up for disappointment and place impossible burdens on each other. True contentment and security come from Christ alone, freeing us to love our spouse with grace rather than demand. [69:51]
4. Self-examination is essential in marriage. It is easy to see our spouse as the source of our problems, but spiritual maturity calls us to ask, “Lord, show me where I need to be different.” Marriage is a mirror that reveals our own need for growth, humility, and grace. The more we own our part, the greater the chance for healing and happiness. [74:25]
5. Grace is the X factor in Christian marriage. Christ bore the full weight of our sin and offers us unmerited favor; in turn, we are called to extend that same grace to our spouse. Fighting for marriage means daily acts of self-sacrifice, prioritizing each other, and believing that even when love feels depleted, God can fill the tank again. Restoration is possible when we refuse to give up. [78:18]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[11:08] - Announcements and Upcoming Events
[16:44] - Call to Worship and Opening Prayer
[18:04] - Introduction: The Power of Not Giving Up
[47:58] - The Story of Jim Valvano: “Don’t Ever Give Up”
[53:16] - The Headwinds Facing Marriage
[57:19] - Reasons for “Gray Divorce”
[63:19] - God’s Design for Marriage
[66:19] - Grace for the Brokenhearted
[67:45] - A Word on Abuse and Seeking Help
[69:10] - Fixing Our Eyes on Jesus
[72:16] - Flipping the Script: Self-Examination
[76:36] - The X Factor: Grace in Marriage
[78:59] - Practical Ways to Fight for Your Marriage
[80:52] - The Story of Renewed Love
[84:39] - Prayer for Marriages
[89:27] - Invitation and Closing
[96:56] - Benediction and Dismissal

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Galatians 6:9 (ESV) — > And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV) — > He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Observation Questions

According to Galatians 6:9, what is the promise given to those who do not give up in doing good?
In Matthew 19:4-6, what does Jesus say about the nature of marriage and who joins a couple together?
The sermon described “headwinds” that threaten marriage at certain seasons of life. What are some of these seasons or challenges mentioned? [[53:16]]
What are some cultural reasons for “gray divorce” that the pastor listed? [[57:19]]

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Paul encourages believers not to grow weary in doing good, especially in the context of marriage? How might this apply when a marriage feels difficult or empty? [[53:16]]
Jesus says, “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” What does this say about the spiritual significance of marriage, and how might this shape the way we view marital struggles? [[01:03:19]]
The pastor said that sometimes we expect our spouse to be our savior or the source of our happiness. Why is this a problem, and what does it reveal about our expectations? [[01:09:51]]
The sermon talked about “flipping the script” and asking God to show us where we need to change. Why is self-examination so important in marriage, and what might happen if we only focus on our spouse’s faults? [[01:12:16]]

Application Questions

The pastor mentioned that headwinds in marriage are normal and often come at predictable times (when the newness fades, when kids leave home, in later years). Which of these seasons do you relate to most right now, and what challenges are you facing? [[53:16]]
Our culture offers many justifications for giving up on marriage, like “we’ve grown apart” or “I want to change my life.” Have you ever felt tempted by these reasons? How did you respond, or how do you want to respond differently in the future? [[57:19]]
The sermon emphasized fixing our eyes on Jesus instead of expecting our spouse to meet all our needs. Is there an area where you’ve been looking to your spouse for something only Christ can provide? What would it look like to shift your focus to Jesus in that area? [[01:09:51]]
The idea of “flipping the script” means asking God to show us where we need to change. What is one area in your marriage (or close relationship) where you sense God might be inviting you to grow or change? [[01:12:16]]
Grace is described as the “X factor” in Christian marriage. Can you think of a recent time when you needed to extend grace to your spouse, or when you needed grace from them? What made it hard or easy? [[01:18:18]]
The pastor shared a story about a woman who set out to be the best wife she could be, and ended up falling in love with her husband again. What is one practical step you could take this week to “fight for your marriage” or invest in your relationship, even if you feel like the tank is empty? [[01:20:52]]
For those who have experienced divorce or deep pain in marriage, the sermon offered compassion and reminded us of God’s grace. How can the group support each other with grace and understanding, no matter where each person is in their story? [[01:06:19]]

Sermon Clips

All these reasons that culture says, change. All these reasons say, don't stay. And I want to say here today, don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up. [01:03:01] (18 seconds) #NeverGiveUpOnLove

Since they are united, it is like putting fabrics together. You cannot pull them apart. It is like when God joins somebody together, there is a supernatural entity. There is God that has infused that marriage, that has bound them together. United them. What God has joined together, none of us are called to separate that. [01:03:59] (38 seconds) #GodJoinsUnbreakable

Well, it takes two to get married. It can only take one to have a divorce. For whatever reason. For whatever reason. And I know that churches like to shoot people who have fallen by the wayside, especially when it comes to sexual things and especially marriages. And I want to say today, I hurt for you and I'm sorry. And I want to feel your pain. It actually says in Scripture, it says God hates divorce. He hates divorce. In Malachi chapter 2, it says, I hate divorce. And I think that's a whole lot like a daddy would hate cancer if cancer has come to his child. Because he knows the pain. He knows the hurt that has come through that. And more than anything, I'm so glad you're here today. If you've experienced that hurt and that pain. And that there is redemption. And there's grace. There's nobody that sits in this room that sits above anybody else. We've all experienced the grace of Jesus Christ. The humility that comes. Even when things don't go as planned. [01:05:06] (87 seconds) #GraceNotJudgment

If you're abusing your wife physically or sexually today. Do not dare take my words. And use them and manipulate them. To what you believe you have the right to do. Your spouse, your wife is a daughter of God. You do not have that right. God have mercy on your soul. And the only thing that I offer to you today. Is drop down on your knees and beg for God's mercy. [01:07:35] (31 seconds) #ProtectHerWithPrayer

Second thing is flip the script a little bit. Because let me tell you, when you get angry, when you get mad, then your spouse becomes the bad guy and you become the victim. Everything they do is what is your source of pain, your source of agony. If they just would change something, your life would be better. They're the bad guy. And you're the victim. Well, today, let me offer you to do something. Just step back. Just step back today. And when you're by yourself, do this. Lord, show me where I need to be different. Lord, show me where I need to be different. [01:12:16] (51 seconds) #OwnYourPartGrowGrace

But see here, let me tell you what's really cool about this. Because we as Christians have an advantage. The world doesn't have this advantage. This is the X factor in a Christian marriage. See, this thing is, we have a Savior who went to the cross and died on the cross. Guess why? He died for my sins, my faults, my mistakes. The things that I did. He could fill out one of those pie charts. And see, he was perfect. So he would say 0%. But yet he took all of that and made it 100% on him. And that thing called grace, he gave me grace. He gave me grace. Because it should have been me on that cross. It should have been me who would have died for my sins, for what I did. But he paid the price. And he showed grace to me. And if grace has been demonstrated to me, then when we look and we see the mistakes of our spouse, and the challenges that we have in our spouse, and believe the words that he who began a good work in you will continue to this day, because God's not done with me yet, and he's not done with her yet. And because of grace that has been given to me, I can demonstrate grace to him or to her. Grace. That's the advantage we have. [01:16:45] (88 seconds) #FightForLoveRelentlessly

So let me tell you, if you're willing to take a bullet for her the next time she walks into the room, why don't you get your head out of your phone and stop strolling and start talking? If you're willing to take a bullet for her the next time she walks in the room, why don't you turn the game off and put it on pause and go for a walk? If you're willing to take a bullet for her and you believe in this grace, for those of you who are not sitting in this room but listening today, why don't you come to church with her next Sunday? That's grace. We need to flip the script. We need to flip the script and step back and say, Lord, what can I do? That's grace. [01:18:50] (48 seconds) #RefillYourLoveTank

And finally, the whole part of what I'm talking about today is being willing to fight for your marriage. It is the most precious thing in the world. It is the gift of God. It is what we have. And with all your heart, fight for your marriage. And that may mean doing some things that your circle of friends may laugh at you and hoot at you. It may be like going to a marriage conference every year. Or collectively, finding a book every year and sitting down and reading about how you can make your marriage better. Or about prioritizing each other. Or about learning how to have some skills when you deal with conflict. You fight for it. You do not give up. [01:19:39] (60 seconds) #LoveRekindled

Ask a question about this sermon

Chatbot

What does Galatians 6:9 encourage believers to do?

How can couples overcome marriage headwinds effectively?

What role does grace play in restoring relationships?