Fighting for Covenant: Strengthening Marriages Through God

 

Summary

In these challenging times, families and marriages face unprecedented pressures, compounded by the ongoing pandemic and life's natural stresses. Yet, the Bible calls us to fight for our families and marriages, not to give up when things get tough. Many couples invest heavily in planning weddings but neglect the more crucial task of planning their marriages. This oversight can jeopardize personal relationships, affect children, and ultimately impact the broader culture. Today, about 50% of marriages end in divorce, even among Christians, and many of the remaining couples are not necessarily happy.

The key to enduring marriages lies in understanding the concept of "covenant." Malachi 2:14 emphasizes that marriage is a covenant, a divinely created relational bond that is both legal and relational, designed to advance God's kingdom. This covenant is not just a contract; it is a commitment that involves God as a central figure in the relationship. The first ingredient of a covenant is its transcendence, meaning God rules over it. God intended marriage to be a union of three: the man, the woman, and Himself. When God is left out, chaos ensues, as seen in the first marriage when Satan disrupted the divine order.

The second aspect is hierarchy, a chain of command where God is over Christ, Christ is over every man, and a man is over a woman. This hierarchy is about function, not significance, and is crucial for maintaining order and unity in marriage. When this order is disrupted, chaos follows, much like a misaligned garage door that won't open. The third element is rules, which boil down to love and respect. Husbands are called to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual care fosters a healthy, thriving relationship.

The fourth component is sanctions, which are the blessings and curses that come with adhering to or deviating from God's covenant. God warranties marriage when it functions according to His design. Finally, continuity or inheritance is about passing on a legacy to future generations. God's goal is not merely our happiness but the advancement of His kingdom through our marriages.

No matter the current state of your marriage, whether ecstatic, mediocre, or struggling, there is hope. Jesus' first miracle at the wedding in Cana, where He turned water into wine, symbolizes His ability to restore joy and vitality to our relationships. By coming together in unity as a covenantal couple, you can experience God's transformative power and see Him save the best for last.

Key Takeaways:

1. Fight for Your Marriage: In a world where many marriages end in divorce, it's crucial to fight for your relationship. Marriage is a covenant, a divinely created bond that requires commitment and perseverance. By understanding and embracing this covenant, you can withstand personal, parental, and societal challenges. [03:05]

2. God's Transcendence in Marriage: God must be central in your marriage, ruling over it as the third party in the relationship. When God is left out, chaos ensues, as seen in the first marriage with Adam and Eve. Allow God to have the final say in your relationship, ensuring His guidance and blessing. [09:01]

3. Hierarchy and Order: Marriage operates on a hierarchy of function, not significance. God is over Christ, Christ is over every man, and a man is over a woman. This order ensures unity and prevents chaos, allowing God's blessings to flow through the relationship. [13:31]

4. Love and Respect: The rules of marriage boil down to love and respect. Husbands are called to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual care fosters a healthy, thriving relationship, allowing both partners to feel valued and cherished. [19:11]

5. Continuity and Legacy: Marriage is not just about personal happiness but about advancing God's kingdom and leaving a legacy for future generations. By operating within God's covenant, you can pass on a godly inheritance to your children and grandchildren. [25:24]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:14] - Challenges Facing Families
- [00:55] - Importance of Planning Marriages
- [01:24] - Divorce Statistics and Cultural Impact
- [02:40] - The Call to Fight for Marriage
- [03:23] - The Concept of Covenant
- [04:13] - Defining Covenant
- [06:16] - Transcendence in Marriage
- [10:00] - Hierarchy and Chain of Command
- [13:31] - Importance of Order
- [18:44] - Rules: Love and Respect
- [23:09] - Sanctions: Blessings and Curses
- [25:24] - Continuity and Legacy
- [27:57] - Hope for Struggling Marriages
- [29:21] - Jesus' Miracle at Cana

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Malachi 2:14 - "She is your wife by covenant."
2. Genesis 1:27-28 - "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.'"
3. Ephesians 5:33 - "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

#### Observation Questions
1. What does Malachi 2:14 say about the nature of marriage? How does this relate to the concept of a covenant? [03:23]
2. According to Genesis 1:27-28, what was God's original intention for creating male and female? How does this relate to the idea of a covenant in marriage? [05:01]
3. In Ephesians 5:33, what are the two key elements that Paul emphasizes for a successful marriage? How do these elements contribute to a thriving relationship? [18:44]
4. How does the sermon describe the role of God in a marriage covenant? What happens when God is left out of the relationship? [06:32]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the concept of a covenant differ from a contract in the context of marriage? Why is this distinction important for couples to understand? [04:13]
2. What does the sermon suggest about the importance of hierarchy and order in marriage? How does this hierarchy function without diminishing the significance of either partner? [10:00]
3. How do love and respect function as the foundational rules of marriage according to the sermon? Why are these two elements crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship? [18:44]
4. What are the potential blessings and curses associated with adhering to or deviating from God's covenant in marriage? How does this impact the legacy we leave for future generations? [23:09]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your own marriage or a marriage you admire. How does the concept of covenant play a role in that relationship? What steps can you take to strengthen this covenant? [03:23]
2. In what ways can you ensure that God remains central in your marriage? Are there specific practices or habits you can adopt to invite God's guidance and blessing into your relationship? [06:32]
3. How can you and your spouse work together to maintain the hierarchy and order described in the sermon? What challenges might you face, and how can you address them? [10:00]
4. Consider the roles of love and respect in your marriage. How can you actively demonstrate love to your spouse this week? How can you show respect? [18:44]
5. What legacy do you hope to leave for your children and grandchildren through your marriage? How can you intentionally work towards this goal in your daily life? [25:24]
6. If your marriage is currently facing challenges, how can you draw inspiration from Jesus' miracle at Cana to restore joy and vitality to your relationship? What practical steps can you take to invite transformation? [29:21]
7. Identify one area in your marriage where you feel out of alignment with God's covenant. What specific actions can you take to realign with God's design and experience His blessings? [16:48]

Devotional

Day 1: Fight for Your Marriage
In a world where many marriages end in divorce, it's crucial to fight for your relationship. Marriage is a covenant, a divinely created bond that requires commitment and perseverance. By understanding and embracing this covenant, you can withstand personal, parental, and societal challenges. [03:05]

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, ESV)

Reflection: What specific steps can you take today to actively fight for and invest in your marriage, even if it means addressing uncomfortable issues?


Day 2: God's Transcendence in Marriage
God must be central in your marriage, ruling over it as the third party in the relationship. When God is left out, chaos ensues, as seen in the first marriage with Adam and Eve. Allow God to have the final say in your relationship, ensuring His guidance and blessing. [09:01]

"Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain." (Psalm 127:1, ESV)

Reflection: How can you invite God to be more central in your marriage today, and what changes might this require in your daily interactions with your spouse?


Day 3: Hierarchy and Order
Marriage operates on a hierarchy of function, not significance. God is over Christ, Christ is over every man, and a man is over a woman. This order ensures unity and prevents chaos, allowing God's blessings to flow through the relationship. [13:31]

"But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Corinthians 11:3, ESV)

Reflection: In what ways can you honor the functional hierarchy in your marriage, and how can this bring more peace and unity to your relationship?


Day 4: Love and Respect
The rules of marriage boil down to love and respect. Husbands are called to love their wives, and wives are to respect their husbands. This mutual care fosters a healthy, thriving relationship, allowing both partners to feel valued and cherished. [19:11]

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Ephesians 5:33, ESV)

Reflection: How can you intentionally show love or respect to your spouse today in a way that speaks directly to their heart?


Day 5: Continuity and Legacy
Marriage is not just about personal happiness but about advancing God's kingdom and leaving a legacy for future generations. By operating within God's covenant, you can pass on a godly inheritance to your children and grandchildren. [25:24]

"One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts." (Psalm 145:4, ESV)

Reflection: What legacy do you want to leave through your marriage, and what steps can you take today to ensure that this legacy is passed on to future generations?

Quotes


Yet, the Bible makes it clear that we had to fight for the family that we're not to throw in the towel and give up, uh just because things have gotten tough. Unfortunately today many people many couples who spend a lot of time and money planning a wedding don't give as much attention to planning a marriage. [00:31:55]

Malachi chapter 2 verse 14. it gives us this word this one transformative word a word that we've kind of lost over the years that we need to return to. In my book for marriage called Kingdom marriage we spend some time talking about this word. The prophet Malachi said she is your wife by Covenant. [00:33:19]

A covenant is a divinely created relational Bond a covenant is a divinely created relational Bond. It's more than a contract, it's legal covenants are always legal, they're also relational, and they're always designed to advance God's program in history which is his kingdom. [00:43:49]

The first marriage in the Bible, God was the Matchmaker he made the man he made the woman from the man he went and got the woman and brought the woman to the man and the first nuptials were overseen by God because God never intended marriage to only be two he always wanted marriage to be three the man the woman and himself. [00:48:58]

The second aspect of a covenant is the formal word is hierarchy that means a chain of command or an ordering a function. First Corinthians 11 3 says God is over Christ is over every man a man is over a woman he talks about a hierarchy not a hierarchy of being not a hierarchy of significance. [00:59:26]

Jesus is God, all the attributes of deity dwell in him, Hebrews 1 says, that is his equality of being equality of essence, he is all that the father is in terms of his nature his Divine being, but when it came to executing Heaven's program in history, advancing God's Kingdom in time and space, he acquiesced to the father. [01:02:01]

The third thing of a covenant are the rules, covenants have rules. Now we could talk about the rules in a lot of detail but uh, let me bother down to two words, Ephesians chapter 5 verse 33. It says husbands, love your wives wives see to it that you respect your husband. [01:14:00]

Love is the decision it's not the feeling it's the decision to compassionately righteously and responsibly seek the well-being of another I felt that when I said it let me say it again love is the decision to compassionately to righteously it has a standard to responsibly seek the well-being of another. [01:18:11]

Sanction all the blessings and the cursings, in other words the benefits and the loss of benefits that come when you're operating in God's covenant. It's the benefits in the Old Testament the old Covenant he gave him the blessings and the cursing if you do this you'll be blessed if you don't do this you'll be cursed. [01:32:14]

God warranties marriage he wants it to last a lifetime but he only warrants it when it is functioning in the way that he has designed it to function which is Covenant so he says I'll come and bless it I'll favorite I'll walk with you through the trials the difficulties the prayer needs I will be with you when you're in my Covenant. [01:40:04]

God would always offer long-term repercussions generationally when people operated covenantally and isn't that what we need today we need to be able to pass on something to the Next Generation our children and our grandchildren because God thinks in threes says a good man leads an inheritance for his children's children. [01:46:59]

Jesus's first miracle was in John 2 the wedding at Canaan so it was about a marriage right and what did they do they ran out of wine wine in the Bible positively is used of Joy so when the wine ran out the joy ran out okay the joy juice was gone okay because there was no more wine. [01:51:17]

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Transcript
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