Fathers: Raise Children in the Training of the Lord

Devotional

Day 1: The Essential Role of Fathers in God’s Design

Children thrive when fathers embrace their God-given purpose. The household codes in Ephesians 6 aren’t outdated rules but a blueprint for flourishing. Fathers carry a sacred responsibility to create environments where holiness and health grow. This role isn’t accidental—it’s intentional, designed by God to shape lives. Even when fathers feel unprepared, God equips them to steward this calling. The goal isn’t perfection but faithful partnership with the One who authors family. [32:23]

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
(Ephesians 6:4, ESV)

Reflection: Where do you feel most inadequate in your role as a parent? How might God’s presence transform that insecurity into purpose?

Day 2: Navigating Anger Without Sowing Bitterness

Rules without relationship breed resentment. Fathers walk a tightrope between discipline and grace, knowing harshness can embitter young hearts. The line between correction and crushing is thin—like a gardener pruning a plant too aggressively. Paul’s warning in Colossians 3:21 mirrors Jesus’ tenderness with the broken. Every interaction is a seed: will it grow trust or thorns? [38:03]

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”
(Colossians 3:21, ESV)

Reflection: What recent interaction with your child left you wondering, “Did that build up or tear down?” What needs to change?

Day 3: Cultivating with a Plan, Not by Chance

A dying basil plant exposes our neglect; thriving children require intentionality. Fathers can’t rely on good intentions—they need strategies rooted in Scripture. Like a coach diagramming plays, dads must map the path toward Christlike maturity. Passive parenting surrenders the harvest to weeds. God’s household codes are the playbook for nurturing eternal souls. [44:32]

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
(Proverbs 22:6, ESV)

Reflection: What single habit could you implement this week to intentionally “train” rather than react?

Day 4: Truth as the Foundation of Family Flourishing

“We are truth-tellers” isn’t a slogan—it’s survival. Lies fracture homes; honesty oils creaking relationships. When transparency becomes non-negotiable, children learn to name struggles instead of hiding them. This value isn’t comfortable, but it’s the mortar holding bricks of trust together. A family anchored in truth can weather any storm. [48:15]

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
(Ephesians 4:25, ESV)

Reflection: Where has “polite silence” damaged a relationship? How can gentle truth mend it?

Day 5: Imitating the Father Who Perfectly Nurtures

Earthly fathers mirror a heavenly prototype. God models parenting through patient guidance, not control. He gives good gifts but never spoils; He disciplines but never demeans. To imitate Him means studying His character—how He listens, forgives, and stays present. No father is left to figure it out alone; the Master Gardener offers His tools. [50:42]

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”
(Matthew 7:11, ESV)

Reflection: Which attribute of God’s fatherhood do you most need to embody this season? How will you practice it today?

Sermon Summary

Ephesians six takes the old shape of Roman household codes and puts it under the lordship of Jesus. Paul writes into a world that cared about order, structure, peace, and a home that worked right. The Holy Spirit takes that familiar pattern and turns it toward something better than Roman stability. God designs the household for goodness, holiness, healthiness, and real human flourishing.

Paul gives children a clear word: obey parents in the Lord because this is right. The command to honor father and mother carries a promise, “so that it may go well” and so that life may be lived rightly in the land. The home is not meant to be chaos. God builds authority into the family as part of his good design.

Paul then turns to fathers, and the word lands with weight. Fathers are not optional decorations in the home. God put the role in the code because the role is essential. A dad may feel over his head, may not have expected the role, may wonder what in the world he is doing, but God created the role and is right there in it.

Paul says fathers must not stir up anger in their children. That does not mean children will never get mad when boundaries are set. A child may fall apart over milk, a fork, a plate, or an electrical socket. But fathers must not create bitterness, resentment, and discouragement through hypocrisy, aloofness, harsh control, or refusing to listen. The weight of maturity belongs to the older one, the father, the parent, the elder in the relationship.

Paul’s positive command is just as strong: bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. The image of the unhealthy basil plant makes the point plain. Living things need care, environment, nurturing, and a plan. If fathers do not bring children up, somebody else will. The world has a plan, but that plan will not produce strong Christian men and women who partner with the Lord.

God has not left fathers to flounder. Paul says to be imitators of God, and God is the best Father. Christ puts broken pieces back together, including broken fatherhood, broken families, and patterns learned from generations before. The Spirit empowers what fathers cannot pull off on their own, and the church surrounds struggling dads with brothers and sisters who can help them walk.

Key Takeaways

1. Fatherhood is essential, not accidental God names the father’s role because the role matters for the good order of the home. A dad may feel unprepared, overwhelmed, or surprised by the weight of it, but the role is not random. God does not assign a holy task without also giving presence, strength, and help for that task. [32:23]
2. Authority must not embitter children Paul’s warning does not forbid boundaries, correction, or hard conversations. The warning cuts against the kind of authority that creates resentment through hypocrisy, distance, harshness, or control for control’s sake. A father’s strength becomes holy when it protects maturity rather than crushing the spirit of the child. [38:03]
3. Living things need a plan Children do not drift into maturity any more than a neglected basil plant drifts into health. A home needs values, patterns, correction, and care that aim toward the training and instruction of the Lord. If a father has no plan, the world will gladly provide one, and its end will not be Christ-shaped flourishing. [44:58]
4. God fathers broken fathers Christ is not merely interested in improving behavior at the surface. God takes broken pieces from fatherhood, family history, and generational patterns, and he begins putting them back together through Jesus. A father becomes the father God calls him to be by first letting God be his Father. [54:26]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[27:05] - Father’s Day and Ephesians 6
[28:34] - Roman Household Codes
[31:37] - God’s Design for Flourishing
[32:23] - Fathers Have an Essential Role
[33:33] - Children, Obedience, and Honor
[35:06] - Do Not Stir Up Anger
[37:43] - Exasperation and Discouragement
[41:13] - Carrying Mature Responsibility
[43:36] - Bring Them Up in the Lord
[44:32] - The Basil Plant Illustration
[46:46] - If Fathers Do Not Have a Plan
[49:57] - God Is the Best Father
[52:35] - A Role, a Plan, and Help
[53:47] - Christ Restores Broken Pieces

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Ephesians 6:1-4
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother' (this is the first commandment with a promise), 'that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.' Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” [27:05]

Colossians 3:21
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” [37:54]

Ephesians 5:1
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” [49:53]

Observation questions

In Ephesians 6:1-4, what are children told to do, and what are fathers told not to do and to do instead?
What promise is connected to honoring father and mother in Ephesians 6? [33:46]
What words or ideas help explain what it means to “provoke” or “stir up anger” in children? [38:03]
What picture does the unhealthy basil plant give for raising children? [44:32]

Interpretation questions

Paul says children are to obey “in the Lord.” What does that add to the command, and how does it shape the way authority should work in a Christian home?
Colossians 3:21 connects provoking children with discouraging them. What kinds of parenting attitudes are most likely to create bitterness or discouragement over time? [39:19]
Paul does not only say, “Do not provoke.” He also says, “Bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” What does that suggest about parenting being more than correction or rule-setting? [43:50]
Ephesians 5:1 says to be imitators of God. If God is the model Father, what parts of his character would most help shape a father’s presence, tone, and leadership in the home? [49:57]

Application questions

Where does authority in the home come most naturally for you right now, and where does it tend to drift into harshness, distance, or frustration? [39:33]
Children will sometimes be upset by boundaries, but parents must not create resentment. In a current relationship with a child, what might it look like to hold the boundary while also listening well and staying gentle? [35:26]
The greater weight of maturity belongs to the older person in the relationship. Is there a place where you have been expecting a child, teenager, or even an adult child to carry more of the relationship than you should? What would it look like to take a mature step toward them? [42:07]
Living things need a plan. What are the actual values, habits, or patterns shaping your home right now? Are they leading toward the training and instruction of the Lord, or just helping everyone get through the week? [45:11]
If a home does not have a clear plan, the world will gladly provide one. What influences are doing the most to shape the children in your life right now, and which of those influences need more guidance or limits? [46:46]
“We are truth tellers” is the kind of core value that gives a family direction. What is one Christ-shaped value you want to become more visible in your home, and what practice could help make it real? [48:15]
Broken patterns from family history do not have to have the last word. What pattern would you most want Christ to heal in you so that you do not pass it on? [54:13]

Sermon Clips

71s

“``Living things need the right environment. They need nurturing. They need care. But the most important aspect of this is that they need a plan. Coach, you got a plan for your boys? You know where they need to go and how you're gonna get them there. Sometimes that's not gonna work. You need to adjust the plan. Sometimes, you thought that you knew, but you didn't, and you have to adjust the plan. We have to be adaptable. there is a space, a place, a goal in mind for where we are going to go, and if we do not have a pattern, a plan, a method for how to get there, then we will not get there, will we? This is the goal, Bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. To be mature Christian adults. This is what we are supposed to do, and that sounds great, but we do have to deal with the how exactly we do this.”

61s

“And this is what I wanna communicate first this morning. Fathers, I need you I need you to hear me say this. Alright? essential. In order to produce what God wants and what is good and profitable and healthy and holy, your role, fathers, is essential. For God's goodness, for God's holiness, your role is essential. Otherwise, it would not be here in the code. It would not be something written down to be necessary to produce something that is good, and I need you to know that God made you for this role.”

64s

“Look, God has not left himself without witness. God has not left himself where he is not able to give us exactly what we need to do in order to make this happen. Raise them up, bring them up, have a plan, get to the goal, raise them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. We don't have to flounder and try to say, how exactly do I do this and just give up. Paul says in Ephesians chapter five verse one, to be imitators of God. And do you know something special about God? He is our father, and he is the best father.”

80s

“We wanna get rid of it. We don't know exactly how. We act out on our kids. We need to put that to bed. If you are sitting here and you're thinking, man, I am struggling with whatever it is, you know, the first step in order to heal that, to mend that, to put that to bed is to give your life to Christ. I was reminded of the gospel series that we did together when I was at Ashland City this Wednesday, that God takes, through Jesus Christ is is putting all the broken pieces of our world back together, and he's inviting you to participate in that. He can take the broken pieces that are in our fatherhood, in our parenthood, in our families, past, present, and future, and put all of that back together, but we have to let him. And this is what you have to decide. Are you actually going to let him? Will you let him be your father so that you can be the father that he needs you to be? That's all it is.”

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Trenton Crossing Church of Christ This sermon · AI assistant

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