April 19th "Fathering" Eph. 6:4

Good shepherding in the home, men is knowing the direction in which you are to go. And Paul tells us right here, the direction we're to shepherd is what? In the Lord. That we're to train up our children in the Lord. We need to directionally point our children to Jesus. Fathers, your goal is not to raise compliant children. Your role, your purpose, your job description is to raise children who will love Jesus. Amen. That's the job. If your children love Jesus, then they will obey Jesus. [00:29:05] (41 seconds)  #RaiseJesusLovers

Paul warns us, don't provoke. Why? Because it will lead our children to anger. What does provocation produce? Scripture really gives us two things. First, here in Ephesians six, anger. And this is not a flash of irritation, but it's a deep seated brooding anger. This is not the type of anger that just cools off. Go to sleep. Tomorrow it'll be okay. If we provoke our children, deep settled anger toward you, toward God can take place. Boy, we're seeing a generation of angry young men. We're seeing a generation of men who don't know that they are loved. What they need is they need a father figure in their life to show up and point them to the love of God. [00:43:21] (56 seconds)  #DontProvokeYourKids

The father's danger is found in this word provoke. Fathers, do not provoke your children. Provoke. What does provoking look like? What's interesting, that word provoke in the old testament is the same word used to describe Israel's continual rebellion against God. And how Israel provoked God to anger because of their continued disobedience. Provoking. Paul's not talking about occasional frustration. Dads, if your kids aren't occasionally frustrated with you, you're probably not shepherding well. Paul's not talking about an occasional frustration. He's talking about deep patterns that wound their soul. [00:31:41] (53 seconds)  #EndSoulWoundingParenting

Another way that fathers often provoke their children to anger is through conditional love. Making a child's worth conditional on performance or meeting your standards. It crushes the spirit. Often, fathers do this. They don't even recognize that they're doing it. The child feels like, my dad will only love me if I make a's. My dad will only love me if I go into the family business. My dad will only love me if You put an if after my dad will love me if It's conditional. So fathers, do the best you can to teach your children that you love them without an if. There's no if in your love. You love them no matter what. [00:39:46] (56 seconds)  #LoveWithoutIfs

We also need to understand that our shepherding is a stewardship. It's a stewardship. These children before they belong to us, belong to someone else. That is God our father. Which means that the children that God has given you, the children that God has given me, are on loan. God has loaned them to us, and he has entrusted them to us. And we're going to hand them back to him. God has said, you care for these men and women. You raise them up to know Jesus in my spirit, by my power, in accordance with my word. [00:30:37] (46 seconds)  #ChildrenOnLoan

The first is we need to treasure Christ. If children only see Christianity as rules and regulations, they're not going to live with joy. Joyless obligation creates pharisees. We want Jesus lovers, which means it's gotta start with us men, treasure Jesus. What's your quiet time look like? How's your time with Jesus? Are you close to him? Are you spending time with him? Do you love him? Do you want more of him? Do your kids see that you love Jesus? That you're overwhelmed by Jesus. Your kids need to see that. [00:55:38] (44 seconds)  #TreasureChristAtHome

Parenting will do that to you, where you just continually go back to God and say, Lord, I don't know. I need help. I'm seeking your word. I'm looking for Godly counsel. I'm looking for other men who are just a step ahead. I'm looking at how they are raising up their children, and I'm gonna learn something over there. And because I'm in a local church, I may learn something over here as well. One man's gonna encourage me in this way, and another man's gonna instruct me in another way. We need holiness to model. Men, if our lives are not shaped by a love for Jesus, then our kids will not see that love in and through us. And Jesus says, if you love me, you'll obey my commands. [00:52:14] (45 seconds)  #ModelHolinessForKids

We also need wisdom to guide. The reality is this, many of us did not have good examples of how to raise a child up in Christ. And so, find ourselves with a great opportunity inside a local church to find some men who are just a step ahead of us. We need some guides. We need some disciplers. We need some mentors. And men, that's a big reason why we have things like discipleship groups in our church. Because we want to connect you to seasoned men who are just a step ahead of you. Who will teach you how to tuck your kids in at night. Who will teach you how to give your kid a bath and sing a hymn over them. Who will teach you how to lead your children to know and love Jesus. [00:50:52] (49 seconds)  #MenNeedMentors