Parenting is not about perfection. Parenting, and really any relationship with depth, is about being there, showing up, and being faithful day after day. The foundation of a home is the love the Father has lavished on his children, not love as a passing emotion, but love as selfless action that puts itself aside for somebody else.
John’s picture of the Father’s lavish love creates a place of security and stability. Children and grandchildren do not finally become what they are told to do. Children and grandchildren tend to live out what they see lived before them. The home remains the place where faith gets its deepest roots, even when the church faithfully sows seeds of the good news into young lives.
Matthew 3 gives a picture of the heavenly Father at Jesus’ baptism. God the Father, the Son, and the Spirit stand together in that moment, and before Jesus has preached, healed, raised the dead, or gone to the cross, the Father says, “This is my Son, whom I love, and I am well pleased.” The Father gives Jesus attention, affection, and affirmation. Those three A’s help build an A-frame home on the solid foundation of God’s love.
Attention says, “You matter. I value you.” God gives full attention to his children. He hears every prayer, knows every thought, understands every heart, and does not miss a single sparrow that falls. Parenting calls for putting down the remote, setting aside the phone, learning to be where the feet are, and giving full attention to the person God has put right in front of them.
Affection means loving without making children audition for love. God lavishes love extravagantly, generously, and abundantly, not because his children have earned it, but because they need it. Boundaries still matter, because love protects. Love cannot become a tool for control, though. Children need to know that affection is not doled out according to performance, because believers obey Christ as sons and daughters already adopted by grace.
Affirmation speaks life into what God sees a child can become. God spoke creation into being, and human words still create worlds. Correction has its place, but constant criticism can call children into the very thing being condemned. Jesus called Simon “the rock,” welcomed Zacchaeus, forgave the broken woman, took children into his arms, and blessed them. The hope of children is not perfect parents, but parents who point them toward the perfect Father.
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Key Takeaways
- 1. Show up with full attention Attention is one of the clearest ways love becomes visible. Children may stop saying “look at me,” but their hearts still long to be seen. God’s own attention is never divided or distracted, and earthly relationships grow stronger when presence becomes more than being in the same room. Full attention says that another person is not an interruption. [49:04]
- 2. Love without an audition Affection becomes distorted when it is used to control behavior or reward performance. God’s love reaches sinners before they have anything to offer him, and adoption in Christ comes before obedience. Boundaries can be an act of love, but acceptance cannot be held hostage by achievement. A child who knows secure love can receive correction without hearing rejection. [55:36]
- 3. Speak toward God-given potential Affirmation is oxygen for the soul because words help shape the worlds people inhabit. Correction names what needs to change, but blessing calls out what grace can make possible. Jesus saw Peter’s instability and spoke of a rock, seeing beyond the moment into God’s purpose. Faithful words ask God to reveal what he sees in someone. [60:43]
- 4. Point children to the perfect Father Parenting cannot rest on flawless performance, because no earthly parent can carry that weight. God’s grace meets broken parents as surely as it meets broken children. The Father’s attention, affection, and affirmation become the pattern that earthly homes can reflect. Children need to see imperfect people depending on a perfect Father.
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