When Experience Doesn't Match Expectation | Pastor Mike Frisch

Devotional

Day 1: When Prison Bars Don’t Bend: Trusting God’s Unchanging Character

John the Baptist sat in a cell, wrestling with unmet expectations. He’d prepared the way for the Messiah, yet now questioned if Jesus was truly who He claimed. Jesus didn’t rebuke John’s doubt but pointed to evidence of His divine work: the blind saw, the lame walked, hope reached the poor. Even in silence, God’s character remained steady. Our circumstances don’t redefine His faithfulness or love. When prayers feel unanswered, we’re invited to fix our eyes on what’s true, not what’s temporary. [52:09]

“When John, who was in prison, heard about the deeds of the Messiah, he sent his disciples to ask him, ‘Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?’ Jesus replied, ‘Go back and report to John what you hear and see: The blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is proclaimed to the poor. Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.’” (Matthew 11:2–6, ESV)

Reflection: When have your unmet expectations made you question God’s presence? How might focusing on His unchanging character shift your perspective today?

Day 2: God’s Whisper in the Dark: Grace When Answers Don’t Come

Jesus didn’t rescue John from prison but assured him of blessing amid hardship. God’s nearness isn’t measured by resolved circumstances. Hebrews reminds us Jesus understands human frailty—He wept, agonized, and felt forsaken too. In unanswered prayers, grace isn’t a consolation prize; it’s the promise. His mercy meets us in the ache, not just the breakthrough. [01:00:02]

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15–16, ESV)

Reflection: Where do you need to trade frustration over God’s silence for confidence in His accessible grace? How can His empathy comfort you today?

Day 3: Thorns and Grace: Finding Strength in Weakness

Paul begged God to remove his “thorn,” yet found sufficiency not in relief but in Christ’s power. Unanswered prayers often reveal where we’ve tied God’s goodness to our comfort. His grace sustains where solutions don’t. Weakness becomes the canvas for His strength, not proof of His absence. Trust grows when we stop demanding the thorn’s removal and start clinging to the Gardener. [01:06:33]

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV)

Reflection: What “thorn” have you begged God to remove? How might His grace be enough for you in this season?

Day 4: Leaning Into the Unknown: Choosing Trust Over Understanding

Proverbs 3:5–6 doesn’t promise clarity but invites surrender. When confusion swirls, we’re tempted to craft narratives: “God’s mad at me” or “I didn’t pray right.” Yet wisdom says, “Trust Me with your heart.” Spiritual maturity chooses conviction over feelings, truth over speculation. Straight paths aren’t painless—they’re purposeful. Keep praying, petitioning, thanking. The path matters more than the panorama. [01:11:38]

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6, ESV)

Reflection: What false narrative about God or yourself have you believed in hard times? How will you actively choose trust today?

Day 5: Brokenhearted but Not Abandoned: Closeness in Crushed Places

The Psalms don’t sanitize sorrow. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted” isn’t a platitude—it’s a promise forged in grief’s furnace. Jesus’ cry of forsakenness on the cross means He enters our ache. God’s silence isn’t absence; His stillness isn’t indifference. When answers delay, His nearness deepens. Our pain becomes sacred ground where His mercy holds us. [01:02:08]

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18, ESV)

Reflection: How has hardship distorted your view of God’s nearness? What step will you take to lean into His presence today?

Sermon Summary

Doubt shows up here as an invitation to get curious, not a verdict of failure. The question on the table is simple and heavy: what happens when prayers rise and nothing seems to move, when God feels distant, silent, or absent. Comparison then creeps in, and performance takes the wheel, as if louder fireworks or cleaner behavior could get God’s attention. That instinct gets named and dismantled.

John the Baptist carries the tension. John recognizes Jesus early, points to him publicly, and sums up his mission with, “He must become greater; I must become less.” Faithfulness lands him in prison, not because he did wrong, but because he did right. From a dark cell he sends the question that honest hearts eventually ask: “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” The problem is not information; the problem is expectation. Experience does not match what faith expected.

Jesus answers with evidence, echoing Isaiah: the blind see, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor hear good news. Then comes the line that cuts and heals at once: “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” Circumstances do not change who Jesus is or how he feels about his own. Tying God’s goodness to a pain-free life only breeds suspicion; Scripture insists that God draws near to the brokenhearted and that the Son knows forsakenness from the inside.

Promise gets reframed. God never promised to solve every problem the way a timeline dictates. God promised grace and mercy at the throne, right on time. Paul’s thorn stays put, and the risen Lord says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Strength shows up inside admitted weakness.

A way forward sounds like Proverbs 3. Trust in the Lord with all the heart, which means convictions lead when emotions surge. Lean not on personal narratives that shame the soul or shrink God. In all ways submit to him by doing what is already known to do: pray, petition, be grateful, be thankful. He will make paths straight, which means wise, not easy. When it’s hard, God is still the hope.

Key Takeaways

1. Doubt invites honest curiosity Doubt here is not disloyalty; it is a doorway. Honest questions surface where pain stretches expectations, not where information runs out. Bringing those questions to Jesus keeps the heart inside the story rather than outside it. Curiosity becomes faith’s cattle guard, not its cliff. [41:27]
2. Unmet expectations distort God’s character When experience does not match expectation, the soul starts writing new scripts about God and self. That is where comparison and performance try to take over, as if hustle could guarantee heaven’s response. Naming that drift protects trust from circumstance-driven conclusions. Refusing the false narrative is an act of worship. [53:25]
3. Jesus affirms, yet does not always rescue Jesus answers John with Isaiah’s signs and then adds, “Blessed is anyone who does not stumble on account of me.” He confirms his identity and withholds the jailbreak. The blessing lands on the one who keeps trusting when outcomes stay hard. Identity steadies faith when intervention delays. [58:51]
4. Grace and mercy are the promise Scripture does not promise custom solutions; it promises a throne of grace. Mercy and grace arrive as enough for the day and seed tomorrow’s courage. Want often shouts, but need gets met with precision and compassion. The gift fits the ache even when the ache remains. [65:04]
5. Walk the straight path of trust Proverbs 3 sketches a rhythm the soul can actually do: trust, refuse the false story, submit, repeat. Prayer turns to petition, and gratitude reframes the room. The path becomes straight, not smooth, which is another way to say wise. Strength grows where the feet keep moving. [69:11]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[41:27] - Doubt is an invitation
[42:38] - When prayers seem unanswered
[45:50] - Performance and comparison trap
[47:27] - John the Baptist’s story
[48:58] - Behold the Lamb of God
[50:33] - Faithfulness and an unjust prison
[52:09] - Are you the One?
[57:06] - Jesus’ Isaiah-signs reply
[58:51] - Blessed if not stumbling
[65:04] - Promise of grace and mercy
[66:33] - Paul’s thorn and sufficient grace
[69:11] - Proverbs 3: a way forward
[73:50] - Pray, petition, grateful, thankful
[78:54] - Receive prayer and benediction

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading
Matthew 11:2-6 (ESV)
2 Now when John heard in prison about the deeds of the Christ, he sent word by his disciples 3 and said to him, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” 4 And Jesus answered them, “Go and tell John what you hear and see: 5 the blind receive their sight and the lame walk, lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear, and the dead are raised up, and the poor have good news preached to them. 6 And blessed is the one who is not offended by me.”

Observation questions

What specific question did John the Baptist ask Jesus through his disciples, and why might he have asked it despite earlier declaring Jesus as the Messiah?
How did Jesus respond to John’s question, and what Old Testament prophecy does His answer reference (see Isaiah 35:5-6)?
In the sermon, it was said that “unmet expectations distort God’s character” [53:25]. What examples were given of how people try to “perform” to earn God’s attention?
What does Jesus mean by “blessed is the one who is not offended by me” (v. 6), and how does this relate to John’s situation?

Interpretation questions

Why might John the Baptist—who earlier recognized Jesus as the Messiah—struggle with doubt while in prison? How does his story challenge the idea that doubt equals failure?
Jesus points to His works (healing, preaching) as evidence of His identity but doesn’t rescue John. How does this redefine what it means to trust God’s faithfulness in hard circumstances?
The sermon mentioned Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” and God’s response: “My grace is sufficient” [06:33]. How does this connect to Jesus’ message to John in Matthew 11:6?
Proverbs 3:5-6 urges trust in God rather than leaning on “own understanding.” What false narratives about God or ourselves might arise when prayers seem unanswered?

Application questions

When have you felt like God was silent or distant in a difficult situation? How did it affect your view of His character, and what practices (prayer, gratitude, etc.) could help reframe that perspective?
The sermon warned against comparing our struggles to others’ answered prayers [46:32]. How can comparison fuel resentment or performance-based faith? What steps could help you focus on God’s promises instead?
Jesus affirmed John’s faith but didn’t change his circumstances. What current hardship are you facing where you need to trust God’s sufficiency rather than a specific outcome?
The phrase “pray, petition, be grateful, be thankful” [13:50] was suggested as a rhythm for hard times. How could intentionally practicing gratitude shift your focus in a situation where God feels silent?
How might you encourage someone wrestling with doubt without dismissing their pain or offering simplistic answers? What language or actions could reflect Jesus’ compassion in Matthew 11?
The sermon emphasized that “grace and mercy are the promise” [05:04]. What practical need for grace (patience, forgiveness, endurance) do you have right now, and how could you actively rely on it this week?

Sermon Clips

45s

#StillMyHope

“``When we're frustrated, God is still our peace. When we don't understand, God is still our confidence. When we don't know what to do, Jesus is king. And so whatever it is that you're carrying, praying for, longing for, hoping for, and it just feels like God is silent or distant or absent, it feels like he's not doing what you've asked him to do. Know that he hasn't changed and know that his love for you hasn't changed. And so in those moments, could I challenge you and encourage you when it's hard, God is still your hope. That has not changed, and that's where we turn.”

48s

#GraceAndMercy

“You wanna know what the promise of God is in those moments where we're asking, we're hoping, and we're longing, and we feel like he's distant, and he's far away? God's promise is to give you what you need, and what you need is grace and mercy. Is grace and mercy. God promised to give grace and mercy to you fully and completely when life gets difficult. Now I know for many of us, we're like, but that's not what I need. But your creator knows what you need. That's not what I want, but your creator knows what you need. And what he gives you to carry you in that moment, but also to the next moment, is grace and mercy.”

63s

#UnchangedGod

“Because your circumstances don't change me, John. And your circumstances don't change how I feel about you, John. So you're blessed. God is with you if you continue to be faithful. To John the Baptist sitting in prison, these are the words of his cousin and his savior. It's hard to hear. Right? It's heavy. John is asking this question because I think all of us have felt a moment where we we felt like God was silent or he was distant in our life, or maybe he didn't come through the way that we hoped that he would come through, and then we begin to question God's relationship with us and God's feeling about us. Friends, difficult circumstances cause us to think that God doesn't care about us. And and the reason is because we've tied a really good life to the goodness of God.”

53s

#HopeInHardTimes

“So whatever it is that you're wrestling with, whatever it is that you're carrying, I don't quite have a really good emotionally satisfying answer for you for why God hasn't come through the way that you would hope. But what I do have is that in hard moments, when it's hard for you and when it's hard for me, I'm reminded from the words of Solomon and from the life of Paul and from the life of John the Baptist, that when it's hard, God is still our hope. That does not change. That does not pivot. That does not adjust. That does not do anything that can that stays the same. When it's hard, God is still our hope.”

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When Experience Doesn't Match Expectation | Pastor Mike Frisch | Active Church Yucaipa