Essential Relationships for Fathers: Lessons from David
Summary
### Summary
Today, we explored three key relationships that are essential for fathers to succeed, drawing from the story of David in 1 Samuel 19. These relationships are not only vital for fathers but can be applied to everyone. The first relationship is with a "Jonathan," a godly friend who warns and intercedes for us. Jonathan's friendship with David was marked by his willingness to speak hard truths and to intercede on David's behalf, demonstrating the importance of having friends who can provide godly counsel and prayer support.
The second relationship is with a "Michael," representing a loving spouse. Michael, David's wife, played a crucial role in saving his life by giving wise counsel and taking tangible actions to protect him. This relationship highlights the importance of mutual support and encouragement within a marriage. Wives are encouraged to speak life and confidence into their husbands, helping them navigate through difficult circumstances.
The third relationship is with a "Samuel," symbolizing a faithful pastor or spiritual mentor. Samuel provided David with spiritual guidance and protection through the power of the Holy Spirit. This relationship underscores the importance of being part of a church community and taking advantage of pastoral guidance. Regular engagement with spiritual leaders can provide clarity, direction, and support in our lives.
### Key Takeaways
1. The Importance of a Godly Friend (Jonathan)
- A Jonathan in your life is someone who will warn you out of love and intercede for you through prayer. This friend speaks hard truths that you may not want to hear but need to hear for your spiritual growth and protection. Proverbs 27:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend," emphasizing the value of such relationships. [05:28]
2. The Role of a Loving Spouse (Michael)
- A loving spouse provides wise counsel and tangible support. Michael's actions in protecting David illustrate how a spouse can be a source of wisdom and practical help. Wives are encouraged to speak words of life and confidence into their husbands, helping them overcome challenges. Proverbs 14:1 states, "The wise woman builds her house," highlighting the constructive role of a supportive spouse. [12:58]
3. The Need for Spiritual Mentorship (Samuel)
- A Samuel in your life is a faithful pastor or spiritual mentor who teaches and clarifies God's will. This relationship is crucial for spiritual growth and protection. Regular engagement with a pastor can provide the spiritual guidance needed to navigate life's challenges. The Spirit of God works through such relationships to bring illumination and direction. [22:08]
4. The Power of Intercession
- Intercession is a powerful act of stepping in between someone and their challenges, praying on their behalf. Jonathan's intercession for David is a model for how we should pray for one another. This act of interceding can bring about divine intervention and protection, emphasizing the importance of having friends who pray for us. [06:50]
5. The Value of Community and Consistency
- Building these key relationships requires effort and consistency. Being part of a church community and engaging regularly with spiritual mentors and godly friends can significantly impact your life. Planting yourself in the right environment over the long haul will yield the relationships and support you need to succeed. [09:13]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[02:48] - Introduction to Key Relationships
[04:05] - The Jonathan Relationship
[05:28] - Characteristics of a Jonathan
[06:50] - The Power of Intercession
[08:09] - Who Are Your Jonathans?
[09:13] - Effort in Building Relationships
[10:23] - The Michael Relationship
[11:39] - Characteristics of a Michael
[12:58] - Wise Counsel from a Spouse
[14:13] - Tangible Support from a Spouse
[15:08] - Men as Protectors
[16:12] - Wives Protecting Their Husbands
[17:13] - Tangible Help from Wives
[18:29] - Building Your Home
[19:51] - Interceding for Your Husband
[21:03] - The Samuel Relationship
[22:08] - Role of a Faithful Pastor
[23:28] - Taking Advantage of Pastoral Guidance
[24:41] - Leaning into Spiritual Relationships
[25:35] - Pastoral Support and Prayer
[26:48] - Closing Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. 1 Samuel 19:1-3 - "Saul spoke to Jonathan his son and to all his servants that they should kill David. But Jonathan, Saul's son, delighted much in David. And Jonathan told David, 'Saul my father seeks to kill you. Therefore be on your guard in the morning. Stay in a secret place and hide yourself.'"
2. 1 Samuel 19:11-12 - "Saul sent messengers to David's house to watch him, that he might kill him in the morning. But Michal, David's wife, told him, 'If you do not escape with your life tonight, tomorrow you will be killed.' So Michal let David down through the window, and he fled away and escaped."
3. 1 Samuel 19:18-20 - "Now David fled and escaped, and he came to Samuel at Ramah and told him all that Saul had done to him. And he and Samuel went and lived at Naioth. And it was told Saul, 'Behold, David is at Naioth in Ramah.' Then Saul sent messengers to take David, and when they saw the company of the prophets prophesying, and Samuel standing as head over them, the Spirit of God came upon the messengers of Saul, and they also prophesied."
#### Observation Questions
1. What actions did Jonathan take to protect David from Saul's intent to kill him? ([03:12])
2. How did Michal help David escape from Saul's messengers? ([10:27])
3. What role did Samuel play in providing refuge and guidance to David? ([21:00])
4. According to the sermon, what are the two characteristics of a "Jonathan" in one's life? ([05:01])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it important to have a friend like Jonathan who can warn and intercede for you? How does this reflect on the value of godly friendships? ([05:01])
2. In what ways can a spouse provide both wise counsel and tangible support, as Michal did for David? How does this impact the dynamics of a marriage? ([12:07])
3. How does the relationship with a spiritual mentor like Samuel help in one's spiritual growth and protection? What does this say about the importance of being part of a church community? ([22:08])
4. How does the act of intercession, as demonstrated by Jonathan, influence the outcome of challenging situations? ([07:01])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your friendships. Do you have a "Jonathan" in your life who can speak hard truths and intercede for you? If not, what steps can you take to build such a relationship? ([05:01])
2. For those who are married, how can you be more like Michal, providing wise counsel and tangible support to your spouse? What specific actions can you take this week to encourage and support your spouse? ([12:07])
3. How can you actively seek and engage with a spiritual mentor or pastor like Samuel? What steps can you take to make the most of this relationship for your spiritual growth? ([22:08])
4. Think about a time when someone interceded for you in prayer. How did it impact your situation? How can you be an intercessor for someone else in your life right now? ([07:01])
5. Building key relationships requires effort and consistency. What practical steps can you take to invest in and nurture these relationships within your church community? ([09:13])
6. How can you create an environment in your home that fosters mutual support and encouragement, similar to the relationship between David and Michal? ([12:07])
7. Reflect on the importance of community and consistency in your spiritual journey. How can you commit to being more consistent in your church attendance and engagement with spiritual leaders? ([09:13])
Devotional
Day 1: The Importance of a Godly Friend (Jonathan)
A Jonathan in your life is someone who will warn you out of love and intercede for you through prayer. This friend speaks hard truths that you may not want to hear but need to hear for your spiritual growth and protection. Proverbs 27:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend," emphasizing the value of such relationships. [05:28]
A godly friend, like Jonathan, is invaluable in our spiritual journey. Jonathan's friendship with David was marked by his willingness to speak hard truths and to intercede on David's behalf. This kind of friend is not afraid to tell you what you need to hear, even if it's uncomfortable. They are committed to your spiritual growth and protection, often stepping in to pray for you and offer godly counsel. Such friendships are rare and precious, and they require mutual trust and openness.
Having a Jonathan in your life means having someone who genuinely cares about your well-being and is willing to stand in the gap for you. This friend will not only warn you of potential dangers but will also intercede for you through prayer, seeking God's intervention and protection over your life. The power of intercession cannot be underestimated, as it can bring about divine intervention and protection. [06:50]
1 Samuel 18:3-4 (ESV): "Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul. And Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David, and his armor, and even his sword and his bow and his belt."
Reflection: Who in your life acts as a Jonathan, providing godly counsel and interceding for you? How can you nurture and appreciate this relationship today?
Day 2: The Role of a Loving Spouse (Michael)
A loving spouse provides wise counsel and tangible support. Michael's actions in protecting David illustrate how a spouse can be a source of wisdom and practical help. Wives are encouraged to speak words of life and confidence into their husbands, helping them overcome challenges. Proverbs 14:1 states, "The wise woman builds her house," highlighting the constructive role of a supportive spouse. [12:58]
A loving spouse, like Michael, plays a crucial role in providing wise counsel and tangible support. Michael's actions in protecting David from danger demonstrate the importance of mutual support and encouragement within a marriage. A spouse can be a source of wisdom and practical help, offering guidance and taking actions that contribute to the well-being of their partner. This relationship is built on trust, love, and a commitment to each other's growth and protection.
Wives, in particular, are encouraged to speak words of life and confidence into their husbands, helping them navigate through difficult circumstances. Proverbs 14:1 highlights the constructive role of a supportive spouse, emphasizing the impact of wise counsel and encouragement. A loving spouse not only offers emotional support but also takes tangible steps to protect and uplift their partner, fostering a strong and resilient marriage. [14:13]
Ephesians 5:33 (ESV): "However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband."
Reflection: How can you, as a spouse, provide wise counsel and tangible support to your partner today? What specific actions can you take to speak life and confidence into their life?
Day 3: The Need for Spiritual Mentorship (Samuel)
A Samuel in your life is a faithful pastor or spiritual mentor who teaches and clarifies God's will. This relationship is crucial for spiritual growth and protection. Regular engagement with a pastor can provide the spiritual guidance needed to navigate life's challenges. The Spirit of God works through such relationships to bring illumination and direction. [22:08]
A spiritual mentor, like Samuel, is essential for our spiritual growth and protection. Samuel provided David with spiritual guidance and protection through the power of the Holy Spirit. This relationship underscores the importance of being part of a church community and taking advantage of pastoral guidance. Regular engagement with spiritual leaders can provide clarity, direction, and support in our lives, helping us navigate through life's challenges with a deeper understanding of God's will.
Being part of a church community and having a spiritual mentor allows us to receive the wisdom and guidance needed to grow in our faith. The Spirit of God works through these relationships to bring illumination and direction, helping us stay aligned with God's purposes. A faithful pastor or mentor can offer valuable insights, encouragement, and accountability, fostering our spiritual development and resilience. [23:28]
Hebrews 13:7 (ESV): "Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith."
Reflection: Who is a Samuel in your life, providing spiritual mentorship and guidance? How can you engage more regularly with this mentor to grow in your faith?
Day 4: The Power of Intercession
Intercession is a powerful act of stepping in between someone and their challenges, praying on their behalf. Jonathan's intercession for David is a model for how we should pray for one another. This act of interceding can bring about divine intervention and protection, emphasizing the importance of having friends who pray for us. [06:50]
Intercession is a powerful and selfless act of stepping in between someone and their challenges, praying on their behalf. Jonathan's intercession for David serves as a model for how we should pray for one another. By interceding, we invite God's intervention and protection over the lives of those we care about. This act of prayer is not just a routine practice but a profound expression of love and concern, capable of bringing about divine change and support.
Having friends who intercede for us is a tremendous blessing. These friends stand in the gap, lifting us up in prayer and seeking God's guidance and protection over our lives. The power of intercession lies in its ability to connect us with God's will and purposes, bringing about outcomes that we may not achieve on our own. It emphasizes the importance of a supportive community where prayer and intercession are integral parts of our relationships. [09:13]
James 5:16 (ESV): "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working."
Reflection: Who can you intercede for today, stepping in to pray for their challenges and needs? How can you make intercession a regular part of your prayer life?
Day 5: The Value of Community and Consistency
Building these key relationships requires effort and consistency. Being part of a church community and engaging regularly with spiritual mentors and godly friends can significantly impact your life. Planting yourself in the right environment over the long haul will yield the relationships and support you need to succeed. [09:13]
Building and maintaining key relationships requires effort and consistency. Being part of a church community and engaging regularly with spiritual mentors and godly friends can have a profound impact on your life. These relationships provide the support, guidance, and encouragement needed to navigate life's challenges and grow in your faith. Consistency in these relationships is crucial, as it allows for deeper connections and a stronger support system.
Planting yourself in the right environment over the long haul will yield the relationships and support you need to succeed. A church community offers a fertile ground for developing meaningful relationships that contribute to your spiritual growth and well-being. By investing time and effort into these relationships, you create a network of support that can help you thrive in your spiritual journey. [10:23]
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (ESV): "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!"
Reflection: How can you invest more effort and consistency into your key relationships within your church community? What steps can you take today to strengthen these connections?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Let me suggest fathers that we treasure the friends in our lives who out of love will tell us some things maybe we don't want to hear. Hey, I think you might be drinking too much. Hey, I'm a little worried. I haven't seen you in church where you've been. Man, I can't believe you made that decision without praying about it. Maybe hey, man, I think you're probably working too much. Or maybe in a conversation you had a friend over here. You say something and he says to you know what I don't think you should have said that. That wasn't a good thing to say." (47 seconds)
2. "If I just sit here and don't put any effort into it don't lean in a bit Jonathan would just fall out of heaven and just land right next to me. Well, I won't happen that way. It will take a little bit of effort on our part by the way. Congratulations, glad you're in church or being here. Where can I find a godly friend? Maybe maybe in God's house. I can find that maybe I sign up for a Connect group, but here's the suggestion if you will stay in the right direction over the long haul." (29 seconds)
3. "Men this this goes both ways. Let me just stop here. Memme me asked us a question. Are we genuinely open? To the advice or counsel of our wives. Wives, let me ask you this question. How are you? How are you advising? Better yet, let me think about like this. What are the words that you're speaking into his ear? They're not staying just in his ear, but they're going down into his heart into his soul." (28 seconds)
4. "How are you tangibly helping your husband escape the place that he's in or are you sabotaging your own home, your own husband in the chances of success? Proverbs 141 says a wise woman builds her home. You got stopped reading yet. Is it not up there? You just like I'm not reading that. A wise woman what? The own hands and we'll start. I'm just been praying for this moment right now we could we could just stop right here Lord heal our marriages." (54 seconds)
5. "I can't help but think at some of us in here you're in this room because you're fleeing a situation. Whatever it is Lord, I've come to your house. By the way that last question to consider is are you taking the relationship of a pastor seriously. I think I said it differently in your notes, but I'm not in front of my notes. Are you taking advantage of a pastoral relationship by the way just go ahead and put yes in your notes because you're here. You get a hundred percent right there taking advantage of it." (40 seconds)
### Quotes for Members
1. "David's life was saved because of a Jonathan. Here's somebody just crying out in the heart now. I wish I had that you can you can you're in a you're in a very right place for that to happen second key relationship now. We didn't have a Jonathan. Let's pick it up the same chapter. He almost loses his life three times and we're in chapter 19 same chapter now in verse 11. Saul sent messengers to David's house to watch him that he might kill him in the morning." (29 seconds)
2. "Men we are we are protectors, but here it's the wife who's doing the protecting. David of all people. Killer of Goliath. I mean warrior extraordinary. Saul had killed a thousand enemies David killed 10,000 enemies you would think David just say I can take care of this but in this instance it's his wife who's doing the saving for David. Here's the thought question I have for the wise are you tangibly helping your husband escape the place that he's in. Could be all kind of different places." (48 seconds)
3. "I have the unbelievable privilege about 35 40 times a year to stand up here and teach for 30 minutes. Other pastors feel in for the for the remainder of the time for the year, but we get an awesome privilege to stand up here to speak. Sometimes I hear people say you know pastor only if I could just get some time with you and talk to you. Do you know we get to talk every single week. What would happen if you leaned in? Maybe if it helps trick your mind maybe say I'm going to therapy. I'm gonna go counseling." (40 seconds)
4. "I would say that 90% of the stuff we go through walk through if we would take advantage of that relationship when I'm saying is lenian. Okay, that's my work this week. I'm gonna try to improve it and work on that. 90% of the stuff we walk through I'm good. It's gonna be all right. I have weekly. I'm in God's house. But there'll be 10% of the time where the circumstances so complicated so challenging so heavy that um I need to go see my pastor face to face. We need to talk we're so blessed in this church." (44 seconds)
5. "Now I pray come all this way. I'm praying dad. Looking at your eye. I'm praying that God's gonna provide as you lean in. You lean in God's gonna provide some Jonathan's in your life. God's gonna strengthen your marriage. As you're planting yourself in God's house and under his word come on us put your hands out. Let's pray just right now. Well, would you not just listen to me pray would you pray? You pray where you are. Let's just let's just let's just pray." (54 seconds)