Equipping the Next Generation: Parenting with Purpose

 

Summary

In this new series on parenting, I want to address the profound responsibility of equipping the next generation for life. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or someone who influences young lives, the task can feel overwhelming. The days may seem long, but the years are short, and before you know it, children grow up and move on. This journey often leaves us questioning if we've adequately prepared them for life. The truth is, we often miss some essentials because we're busy with the day-to-day demands of parenting.

Reflecting on my own experience, I remember the terror of bringing our first child home from the hospital, realizing that having been a child doesn't necessarily equip one to raise one. Sandra and I were eager learners, seeking wisdom from books, videos, and other parents. We noticed that parents who maintained strong relationships with their teenagers often had fewer rules and were not afraid of their children. They prioritized relationships over experiences and discovered their children's unique interests rather than imposing their own.

A significant insight we gained was the importance of a healthy marriage in parenting. While not everyone can achieve this ideal, it remains a crucial part of the parenting equation. Ignoring the connection between marriage and parenting robs children of a valuable model to aspire to. The tension between what's real and what's ideal is a recurring theme in Jesus' teachings. He navigated this tension by pointing to the ideal while embracing reality, offering grace and truth in equal measure.

As parents and grandparents, our role is to provide a vision for our children's future, academically, financially, spiritually, and relationally. Our shortcomings can serve as catalysts for our children to reach greater heights. While we navigate the realities of life, we must not abandon the ideal. Let's instill a dream in the next generation that positions them to live better lives and make the world a better place. Embracing the tension between real and ideal is essential, and we must resist cultural voices that threaten to steal the dream of family from our children.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Fleeting Nature of Time: Parenting is a journey where the days feel long, but the years are short. It's crucial to be intentional about the time we have with our children, ensuring we impart essential life lessons and values before they grow up and move on. [00:39]

2. The Importance of a Healthy Marriage: A healthy marriage is a significant gift to children, providing them with a model of stability and love. While not everyone can achieve this ideal, acknowledging its importance helps set a standard for future generations to aspire to. [08:21]

3. Balancing Grace and Truth: Jesus exemplified living in the tension between grace and truth. As parents, we should strive to embody this balance, offering both guidance and compassion to our children, helping them navigate life's complexities. [21:01]

4. Prioritizing Relationships Over Experiences: Building strong relationships with our children is more important than filling their lives with endless activities. Prioritizing time together fosters deeper connections and a sense of belonging. [07:46]

5. Providing a Vision for the Future: Our role as parents is to cast a compelling vision for our children's future, encouraging them to aim for ideals even if they seem out of reach for us. This vision includes academic, financial, spiritual, and relational aspirations. [30:51]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:07] - Introduction to Parenting Series
- [00:25] - The Challenge of Parenting
- [00:39] - The Days Are Long, Years Are Short
- [01:13] - The Terror of First-Time Parenting
- [02:00] - Learning to Parent
- [02:40] - Observing Other Parents
- [03:27] - Importance of Relationship
- [04:21] - Fewer Rules, More Relationship
- [05:18] - Fear and Parenting
- [06:10] - Discovering Children's Interests
- [07:31] - Prioritizing Relationships
- [08:03] - The Role of a Healthy Marriage
- [09:44] - Real vs. Ideal
- [11:05] - Embracing Reality in Parenting
- [14:41] - Jesus and the Tension of Real and Ideal
- [23:14] - The Ideal Family Structure
- [30:35] - Casting a Vision for the Future
- [32:24] - Conclusion and Next Steps

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Parenting in the 21st Century

Bible Reading:

1. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV) - "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
2. Proverbs 22:6 (NIV) - "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it."
3. John 1:14 (NIV) - "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

Observation Questions:

1. What does the sermon suggest about the relationship between time and parenting? How does this relate to the phrase "the days are long, but the years are short"? [00:39]

2. According to the sermon, what role does a healthy marriage play in parenting, and why is it considered a significant gift to children? [08:21]

3. How does the sermon describe the balance between grace and truth in parenting, and how is this balance exemplified by Jesus? [21:01]

4. What did the sermon highlight as more important than filling children's lives with experiences, and why? [07:46]

Interpretation Questions:

1. How might Ephesians 6:4 guide parents in balancing discipline and encouragement in their parenting approach? How does this align with the sermon’s emphasis on fewer rules and stronger relationships? [04:21]

2. In what ways does Proverbs 22:6 challenge parents to think about the long-term impact of their guidance and instruction? How does this relate to the sermon’s call to provide a vision for the future? [30:51]

3. How does John 1:14’s depiction of Jesus as full of grace and truth inform the sermon’s message about navigating the tension between real and ideal in parenting? [21:01]

4. What insights from the sermon can help parents resist cultural pressures that might detract from their vision for their children’s future? [31:46]

Application Questions:

1. Reflect on your current parenting or mentoring approach. Are there areas where you might be prioritizing rules over relationships? How can you shift this balance to foster stronger connections? [04:21]

2. Consider the health of your marriage or significant relationships. How might strengthening these relationships serve as a model for the children in your life? What steps can you take to improve these relationships? [08:21]

3. Think about a recent situation where you had to balance grace and truth with a child or young person. How did you handle it, and what might you do differently next time to better embody both qualities? [21:01]

4. Identify one cultural voice or influence that might be detracting from your vision for your children’s future. What practical steps can you take to minimize its impact? [31:46]

5. Reflect on your own upbringing. What vision did your parents or guardians cast for your future, and how has it influenced your life? How can you use this reflection to shape the vision you cast for the next generation? [30:51]

6. How can you intentionally create more opportunities for shared experiences with your children or young people you influence, rather than focusing solely on individual activities? [07:46]

7. What is one specific way you can instill a dream in the hearts and minds of the next generation that positions them to live better lives and make the world a better place? [31:24]

Devotional

Day 1: The Fleeting Nature of Time
Parenting is a journey where the days feel long, but the years are short. It's crucial to be intentional about the time we have with our children, ensuring we impart essential life lessons and values before they grow up and move on. The challenge lies in balancing the immediate demands of daily life with the long-term goal of preparing children for the future. This requires a conscious effort to prioritize meaningful interactions and teachable moments over the busyness that often consumes our schedules. By doing so, we can help our children develop a strong foundation that will guide them throughout their lives. [00:39]

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12, ESV)

Reflection: What is one specific way you can intentionally spend quality time with your child today, focusing on imparting a valuable life lesson or value?


Day 2: The Importance of a Healthy Marriage
A healthy marriage is a significant gift to children, providing them with a model of stability and love. While not everyone can achieve this ideal, acknowledging its importance helps set a standard for future generations to aspire to. A strong marital relationship offers children a sense of security and a blueprint for their future relationships. It demonstrates how love, respect, and commitment can create a nurturing environment. Even if circumstances prevent achieving this ideal, striving towards it can still positively influence children by showing them the value of healthy relationships. [08:21]

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." (Genesis 2:24, ESV)

Reflection: How can you actively contribute to strengthening your marriage or significant relationship today, setting a positive example for your children?


Day 3: Balancing Grace and Truth
Jesus exemplified living in the tension between grace and truth. As parents, we should strive to embody this balance, offering both guidance and compassion to our children, helping them navigate life's complexities. This involves setting boundaries and expectations while also being understanding and forgiving. By modeling this balance, we teach our children how to approach challenges with both integrity and empathy. It is a delicate dance that requires wisdom and patience, but it ultimately equips children to handle the complexities of life with grace and truth. [21:01]

"For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." (John 1:17, ESV)

Reflection: In what area of your parenting do you need to better balance grace and truth, and what is one step you can take today to achieve this balance?


Day 4: Prioritizing Relationships Over Experiences
Building strong relationships with our children is more important than filling their lives with endless activities. Prioritizing time together fosters deeper connections and a sense of belonging. While experiences can be enriching, they should not overshadow the importance of nurturing a close bond with our children. By focusing on relationship-building, we create an environment where children feel valued and understood, which in turn strengthens their emotional and social development. This approach encourages open communication and trust, laying the groundwork for a lifelong connection. [07:46]

"Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8, ESV)

Reflection: What is one activity you can do with your child today that focuses on building your relationship rather than just providing an experience?


Day 5: Providing a Vision for the Future
Our role as parents is to cast a compelling vision for our children's future, encouraging them to aim for ideals even if they seem out of reach for us. This vision includes academic, financial, spiritual, and relational aspirations. By instilling a sense of purpose and direction, we empower our children to dream big and pursue their goals with confidence. It is important to communicate that while the path may not always be easy, striving for these ideals is worthwhile. This vision serves as a guiding light, helping children navigate their journey with hope and determination. [30:51]

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11, ESV)

Reflection: What is one specific way you can inspire your child today to dream about their future and encourage them to pursue their aspirations?

Quotes

"The days are long, but the years are short. And this is oh, so true. On the front end, you feel like you have plenty of time, and then you blink, and they're 10. And then they're graduating from middle school, and then they're gone. And you will think 'oh, no, are they really ready, that I tell them everything they needed to know, that I prepared them for life?' And the answer to that question is always, 'no, you didn't.'" [00:41:30]

"The parents who seem to have been able to maintain a strong relationship, even through the middle school and high school years, one of the things that was true of almost all of them is that they had fewer rules. They had far fewer rules than the parents whose kids were always in trouble for breaking their rules." [04:21:19]

"These extraordinary parents discovered, I think is the best word, they actually spent time discovering, or they discovered, and then they facilitated their kids' interest, their kids' strengths and their kids' talents, rather than, and this is key, rather than forcing, or insisting that their children embrace what was most interesting to or what came naturally to the parents." [06:14:35]

"They resisted the temptation to involve their kids in everything. Not only were they not afraid of their children, they didn't fear their children missing out. In other words, here's how I say this. They prioritize, they prioritized relationship over experience. They prioritized their relationship with their kids and their kids' relationships with each other, over experience." [07:29:15]

"As we got to know these families, through the years, through multiple years, we noticed that all of them had what we would consider healthy marriages. Not perfect, because there is no perfect marriage, but healthy. In fact, we walked away from those multiple conversations convinced that perhaps the best parenting tool of all, perhaps the best gift we could give our children was a healthy marriage." [08:05:18]

"To isolate parenting from marriage is actually to steal something valuable from the current and the next generation. To isolate parenting from marriage is to steal something valuable from your children, and your grandchildren. To do so is to remove, well, it's not only to remove the bullseye, it's like removing the entire target." [09:47:00]

"Jesus was the master. He navigated during his entire ministry that this tension between real and ideal and he clung to this tension, he didn't abandon it. But then of course he did, because the gospel, the gospel doesn't begin with, once upon a time in a perfectly ordered world where everyone always did the right thing." [14:41:47]

"The Gospel assumes real while it points to ideal that Christ showed up in a perfectly disordered world where ideal seemed out of reach honestly, for everyone. The gospel begins with this, 'For God so loved the world,' but which world? Not the garden of Eden world, our world, your world, my world, our broken imperfect, less than ideal world." [15:23:16]

"Jesus never, Jesus never dumbed down the truth. But he never turned down the grace. And here's the fascinating thing, John, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, John, who knew Jesus well, who spent three and a half years with Jesus, heard everything he taught, saw all the miracles. John said, it was so remarkable." [18:43:53]

"Jesus was not the balance of grace and truth. He was a full dose of grace, he was a full dose of truth. Jesus was all grace and he was all truth all the time. Again, he didn't dumbed down the truth to make us feel better about ourselves, but he never turned down the grace." [21:01:58]

"Parenting is first and foremost about preparing our children for their future. Which requires us to cast a compelling vision for their future. What could and should be for them, regardless of where our lives have taken us. A vision for them academically, financially, spiritually, but maybe most importantly, relationally." [30:51:41]

"So while we navigate what's real, let's not give up on ideal. And let's instill a dream in the hearts and minds of this next generation that positions them to, live better lives and perhaps make the world a better place. And let's resist, let's resist the voices in culture that have the potential to steal the dream of family, from our kids." [31:26:12]

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?