The breakdown in the world, the breakdown in America, the breakdown in any country isn't in the political system. The breakdown is in the family. The breakdown happens in the homes. There are children raising children, there are broken people trying to raise other people. So the breakdown is in the home. I believe God is going to use this project to heal, to set free, to bring life to families, and it's just keys that God's given me over the years, just things that God has awakened in me as I've parented, walking through the process and navigating through life to help my children to become successful adults.
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It's important to have vision for your children because whatever we portray, especially in their younger years, is what they are going to kind of migrate towards. So as you begin to speak to your children, point out things in their future for them, point out things that they're going to be facing, opportunities that they're going to have, and show them and talk to them about the decisions they may have to make during that time.
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We need to paint a picture of their future. So I talked to the mom, and I said, Mom, just begin to paint a picture in front of her of having her own family. Before that, finishing college, leaving and going to college possibly. And I said, just begin to do those things that would portray that or would put that in her mind and in her heart. And as I talked to her, as I shared with the mom these things, I began to see her painting that picture for her daughter.
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So I believe that we can paint that picture for our children as they go through life. So have a vision for your children. Put something out there in front of them to perceive and pursue and go after. Sometimes we miss that, and sometimes the children get idle, and they get focused inward, and they get in a place where they become kind of stagnant in life. So have a vision for your children.
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As you see the inclination of your child, if you see if you have a child and they just they migrate towards the piano or they migrate towards the baseball bat or they migrate towards wanting to work on the car with dad, if you see those things begin to cultivate that in them, begin to give them more opportunities and see if there's possibly a gifting there or even a purpose of their life that would be revealed in that.
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A child's inquisitiveness is a great time to teach. So what I mean by that is use teachable moments. My son and I will be riding down the road and he'll just come up with a great question, boom, dad what's this mean or what's this about or when you say this dad what's that mean or I heard someone say this dad what does that mean and that is a great time for you and I to teach something.
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Another thing that will, I think, encourage you as a parent is understanding that God can make up for your mistakes or for your weaknesses. There's times when I feel like I blew it or I feel like I'm not really a great parent. And there's times when, you know, we certainly could do better in learning that. And we, as we grow, we have more regrets than we want in our lives. But I believe that if we put in God's hands, you know, our children's life and, you know, every day, every few days, whatever we are able to do in prayer time for them in that capacity, just to submit them to God.
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God loves your children more than you do. It's hard for us to comprehend that. But he had their heart. He had their life in his heart even before we did. And God is the great shepherd. He's the one that really cares about them and really wants to see them. And he's entrusted parenting to us. And we get the opportunity to, you know, kind of help and mold these children in their lives.
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Some parents think love is never bringing discipline. But love, true love is going to build a healthy perspective about what life is really like out here in this world. If we teach our children that every time they make a mistake, somebody else is going to cover for them. Or if we teach our children every time they do something wrong, that it must be someone else's fault, that's going to create a child that is a very unfortunate, unfortunately, very spoiled brat.
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A child is in your hand or under your leadership to train them and help them navigate through. So a child is a blank slate of, of course, emotions and viewpoints and perspectives that, if out of order, just have to be tweaked and just have to be guided. So your child needs your instruction. If you see your child do something wrong, it doesn't mean that child's of the devil. It just means that child needs to learn what is good and what is evil.
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Discipline should be equal to the offense. If my son is running through the living room and he pushes his sister into the fireplace that's, you know, got bricks around it and maybe there's a fire, maybe there's not. But the little girl busts her head against the fireplace and has to get two or three stitches there. My son is going to get, you know, three or four slots of a good firm spanking because of the damage that he's done. But if my son, you know, marks something on the wall, he probably won't get a spanking unless he's doing it in a rebellious fashion. He'll get a couple of warnings and then ultimately possibly something taken away, but the discipline needs to equal the offense in order to teach them correctly.
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A consequence environment is very important for your children. A consequence environment is what life has for us. I would rather my five-year-old son run into authority and run into consequences, which ultimately consequences train us to act a certain way. If we don't get a consequence when we've done bad behavior, we are more emboldened towards bad behavior.
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Who your children like, who your children's heroes are, is going to indicate where their life is headed. And if you don't step in at times and begin to unpack the reason your child likes someone or dislikes someone else, you may find your child chasing a wrong train or chasing a wrong dream.
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Worthy mentors are so important. Worthy mentors. Find some, help your children find people who've really accomplished something. Find people who's really shown a character virtue that's valuable. Help your children find worthy mentors. Not just chase the latest fad or the latest pop artist, but to really find worthy mentors.
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Expose your children to God. Expose them to the things of God. So many today do not take their children to church, do not take their children to Sunday school, do not take their children to youth group. They do not include, you know, involve their children in ministry or involve their children in any type of Christian perspective or teaching. We are doing our child a disservice to not let them have an encounter with God.
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Be a be a be a inspiration to your children about the things of god don't portray god as a drudgery because god's not a drudgery look god's not an ignorant god god's not a drudgery god's not a taskmaster god is a lover of our soul look at the trees and the beautiful sunshine and all the things that he's given us i mean he's given us our breath and as you create that in your children that man god is the one who's doing this for us you create in them not an obligation, but a privilege.
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Teaching your children the fear of the Lord. In our culture, we know that it seems that if you don't get caught, you don't get in trouble mentality. If I don't get caught by the cops, I can do anything I want. But that really is an unhealthy perspective, because ultimately, teaching the fear of the Lord, the Bible says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.
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I teach my children that, you know, being right with Dad is one thing, but being right with God is more important even than being right with Dad. Being right with God. And that is, you know, if my child tells a lie, and, you know, I'll process through it with them, I not only will discipline them, or if they ask for forgiveness, I'll give them mercy, but then I'll take them to God. All right, let's go to God, because this is a sin, and I'll pray with them. And I'll say, you know, I'll lead them in a prayer of forgiveness, of repentance, and asking God for forgiveness for their lie.
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Problem solving is what brings money into your life. Problem solving. Problem solving. If you teach your children to solve a problem, then they will have money. They will, you know, solve a significant problem in your community, like cutting the grass or washing cars or something like that, that your child can make a little money. Teaching them that that's how money flows mostly in the earth is problem solving.
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Teaching an incentive culture is biblical. God is an incentive God. He says in Deuteronomy 28, if you obey my voice, these blessings will come. God says, if my people will pray, seek my face, turn from their wicked ways, I'll do this. So God is an incentive God. And it's not wrong to have an incentive in your dealings with your children. Have incentive. Have them to do something, if they do something extra, tell them they're going to get a reward for that. That's not a wrong thing to do and develop. It's a blessing.
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Teaching your children about tithing, teaching them tithing at a young age. If they get ten dollars, teach them to give one for tithe and then if they want to do a little more, dollar for offering. Teaching that at a young age. A lot of people are like why tithing why tithing well tithing indicates that you are not greedy and it also indicates that you value god's work above your own it also it also indicates that you want god involved in your monetary area it's a covenant with god god can do more in our lives when we're in covenant with him financially god ultimately is our provider.
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Where your money goes shows what you love. So if your child's always spending money on games and never gives anything to the church where's their heart way over there. If you're if you as a person are spending money on new cars all the time but you never give anything to god and to missions it shows where your heart is so check your heart because god knows our heart it may look good right now to the world but God ultimately knows our heart and we will stand before him with that.
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Every blessing in our lives and every freedom in our lives is governed by certain laws and rules. So if we talk about sex, and a lot of people portray sex as a terrible thing, oh, don't ever say that word or don't ever do this or that, and it's made a dirty thing in our culture. But really, sex is the most beautiful thing and the most exquisite opportunity. It's such a treasure in the right context. When a man and wife are married and in the married covenant, they have the greatest expression of our bodies and our love to one another is sex.
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Your children will catch your vision on things. Your children will catch your perspective on things. If you understand and you portray those values to them, it can be very helpful for them at least framing it until they become adults. If we have a wrong teaching or a wrong perspective, they can change that wrong learning as they grow and as they mature. And we've all probably had to do that.
[00:41:09]
You are passing on your values even when you don't know it. You're passing on your values. How you respond to something is how your children view that. There was a young lady or a handicapped person who came across the road in front of us. And one of my children said something a little negative about that. And I said, man, in my mind, I said, oh, that indicates a wrong perspective about this. So I began to ask my child questions, you know, why do you think they're in that? And, well, I don't know, da, da, da. And so I began to break it down. I said, that person may have been a military person who gave their life for us. That person may have had a disease that they couldn't control or that they didn't have any opportunity to overcome. And, you know, I just began to give them a better perspective about what they saw. And that's a great opportunity in parenting is to really see, you know, through our children's eyes. And then if we find that they're seeing something in the wrong perspective, to begin to challenge that and begin to, you know, give a little clearer picture of the way they should think.
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