Empowered Marriages: The Role of the Holy Spirit
Summary
In today's gathering, we explored the profound concept of an "empowered marriage," emphasizing the necessity of being filled with the Holy Spirit to truly fulfill the purpose God has for our relationships. We began by acknowledging the crisis in our country and the tendency to look to the wrong places for solutions, rather than turning to God and His Word. The focus was on how many of the current approaches to marriage counseling and coaching are failing because they rely too heavily on human willpower rather than divine empowerment.
We delved into Ephesians 5, where Paul outlines the importance of being filled with the Spirit as the foundation for a successful marriage. This filling is not about human effort but about allowing the Spirit to work in and through us. The Spirit's influence should be evident in our communication, our worship, our gratitude, and our mutual submission within marriage. We discussed how the Spirit's filling is not a one-time event but a continuous process that requires our cooperation and willingness to be led.
The sermon challenged us to reconsider our priorities in marriage, urging us to focus less on external factors like communication and more on our spiritual alignment with God. We were reminded that the true measure of a successful marriage is not merely enjoyment but fulfilling God's purpose and assignment for the relationship. The Spirit's filling leads to the production of spiritual fruit, such as love, joy, peace, and patience, which are essential for a thriving marriage.
In conclusion, the key to unlocking the full potential of our marriages lies in being filled with the Spirit. This involves a daily commitment to spiritual disciplines and a willingness to let the Spirit guide our actions and decisions. By doing so, we can experience the joy and fulfillment that God intends for our relationships.
Key Takeaways:
1. Divine Empowerment Over Human Effort: Many marriage counseling approaches fail because they rely on human willpower rather than divine empowerment. True transformation in marriage comes from being filled with the Holy Spirit, allowing His influence to guide our relationships. [03:55]
2. The Role of the Holy Spirit: Being filled with the Spirit is not a one-time event but a continuous process that requires our cooperation. The Spirit's influence should be evident in our communication, worship, gratitude, and mutual submission within marriage. [18:36]
3. Spiritual Alignment Over External Factors: The focus in marriage should be on spiritual alignment with God rather than external factors like communication. The true measure of a successful marriage is fulfilling God's purpose and assignment for the relationship. [27:02]
4. The Fruit of the Spirit: The Spirit's filling leads to the production of spiritual fruit, such as love, joy, peace, and patience, which are essential for a thriving marriage. These fruits are not achieved through human effort but through the Spirit's work in us. [33:56]
5. Commitment to Spiritual Disciplines: Unlocking the full potential of our marriages involves a daily commitment to spiritual disciplines and a willingness to let the Spirit guide our actions and decisions. This leads to the joy and fulfillment that God intends for our relationships. [49:52]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [03:55] - The Crisis in Marriage Counseling
- [06:12] - Influences on Marriage Philosophy
- [13:31] - Ephesians 5: The Empowered Marriage
- [18:36] - Being Filled with the Spirit
- [23:56] - The Role of the Holy Spirit
- [27:02] - Spiritual Alignment in Marriage
- [29:41] - The Indwelling and Filling of the Spirit
- [33:56] - The Fruit of the Spirit
- [38:50] - Mutual Submission in Marriage
- [49:52] - Commitment to Spiritual Disciplines
- [49:52] - Closing Prayer and Reflections
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Empowered Marriage
Bible Reading:
- Ephesians 5:15-21
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Observation Questions:
1. According to Ephesians 5:18, what is the main command given to believers, and how does it relate to the concept of an empowered marriage? [13:31]
2. In the sermon, what reasons were given for why many current approaches to marriage counseling and coaching are failing? [03:55]
3. How does the pastor describe the role of the Holy Spirit in influencing our communication and mutual submission within marriage? [18:36]
4. What are the five participles mentioned in Ephesians 5:19-21, and how do they relate to being filled with the Spirit? [13:31]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the pastor suggest that spiritual alignment with God should take precedence over external factors like communication in a marriage? [06:12]
2. What does it mean for the Holy Spirit to be the "pilot" rather than the "co-pilot" in our lives, and how does this analogy apply to marriage? [27:02]
3. The sermon mentions that being filled with the Spirit is a continuous process. What might this continuous process look like in the daily life of a married couple? [18:36]
4. How does the pastor differentiate between task filling and being filled by the Spirit, and what implications does this have for a marriage relationship? [23:56]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on your current marriage or relationship. Are there areas where you rely more on human effort than on divine empowerment? How can you invite the Holy Spirit to guide these areas? [03:55]
2. The sermon emphasizes the importance of spiritual disciplines. What specific spiritual discipline can you commit to this week to enhance your spiritual alignment with God and your spouse? [49:52]
3. Consider the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in the sermon. Choose one aspect (love, joy, peace, patience, etc.) that you feel is lacking in your marriage. What practical steps can you take to cultivate this fruit in your relationship? [33:56]
4. The pastor challenges us to focus on spiritual alignment over external factors. How can you shift your focus from external issues to spiritual growth in your marriage this month? [06:12]
5. Think about a recent conflict or disagreement in your marriage. How might being filled with the Spirit have changed the outcome of that situation? What can you do differently next time? [18:36]
6. The sermon suggests that many people are trying to live in a marriage relationship without the "Holy Spirit chip." What does this metaphor mean to you, and how can you ensure that the Holy Spirit is actively guiding your marriage? [27:02]
7. Reflect on the pastor's analogy of weeds in a lawn. Are there "weeds" in your marriage that need to be addressed? How can you work together with your spouse to cultivate a healthy spiritual life that chokes out these weeds? [38:50]
Devotional
Day 1: Divine Empowerment Over Human Effort
In the journey of marriage, many seek solutions through human willpower, often overlooking the divine empowerment available through the Holy Spirit. True transformation in marriage is not achieved by sheer determination but by being filled with the Holy Spirit, allowing His influence to guide and shape the relationship. This divine empowerment is essential for overcoming the challenges that arise in marriage, as it provides the strength and wisdom needed to navigate difficult times. By relying on the Spirit, couples can experience a deeper connection and a more fulfilling partnership. [03:55]
Ephesians 3:16-17 (ESV): "That according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love."
Reflection: In what areas of your marriage are you relying solely on your own strength? How can you invite the Holy Spirit to empower you in these areas today?
Day 2: The Role of the Holy Spirit
Being filled with the Holy Spirit is not a one-time event but a continuous process that requires cooperation and openness. The Spirit's influence should be evident in every aspect of a marriage, from communication to worship, gratitude, and mutual submission. This ongoing filling of the Spirit transforms the way couples interact, leading to healthier and more harmonious relationships. By allowing the Spirit to work through them, couples can experience a marriage that reflects God's love and purpose. [18:36]
Galatians 5:25 (ESV): "If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit."
Reflection: How can you make space in your daily routine to invite the Holy Spirit to guide your interactions with your spouse?
Day 3: Spiritual Alignment Over External Factors
In marriage, the focus should be on spiritual alignment with God rather than external factors like communication techniques. While communication is important, the true measure of a successful marriage is fulfilling God's purpose and assignment for the relationship. By prioritizing spiritual alignment, couples can ensure that their marriage is grounded in a shared commitment to God's will, leading to a more meaningful and purposeful partnership. [27:02]
Colossians 3:2-3 (ESV): "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."
Reflection: What steps can you take to align your marriage more closely with God's purpose today?
Day 4: The Fruit of the Spirit
The filling of the Holy Spirit leads to the production of spiritual fruit, such as love, joy, peace, and patience, which are essential for a thriving marriage. These fruits are not achieved through human effort but through the Spirit's work within us. By cultivating these fruits, couples can create a nurturing and supportive environment that fosters growth and deepens their connection. The presence of these fruits in a marriage is a testament to the Spirit's transformative power. [33:56]
Galatians 5:22-23 (ESV): "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Reflection: Which fruit of the Spirit do you feel is most lacking in your marriage, and how can you invite the Holy Spirit to cultivate it in your relationship?
Day 5: Commitment to Spiritual Disciplines
Unlocking the full potential of a marriage involves a daily commitment to spiritual disciplines and a willingness to let the Spirit guide actions and decisions. This commitment leads to the joy and fulfillment that God intends for relationships. By engaging in practices such as prayer, Bible study, and worship, couples can strengthen their spiritual connection and ensure that their marriage is rooted in a solid foundation of faith. [49:52]
1 Timothy 4:7-8 (ESV): "Have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come."
Reflection: What spiritual discipline can you commit to practicing together with your spouse this week to strengthen your marriage?
Quotes
"And God, we look to all the wrong places first instead of looking to you. So, God, we come this morning, God, looking to you, looking to your word, God, to give us the relationships that you desire for us to have. And I pray, God, that, Lord, we would have relationships, God, that not only enjoyable, but they exemplify your purposes." [00:01:16] (26 seconds)
"May I argue that they are not making the desired difference because much of the advice, the counseling, the preaching, and or teaching is not dependent upon God, but dependent upon the individual's willpower, motivation, or discipline." [00:03:21] (26 seconds)
"Many of the sermons on marriage are not working and are not producing the desired result. Many of the sermons on marriage are not working and are not producing the desired result." [00:02:59] (21 seconds)
"Most of the marriage counseling and coaching people are receiving today is not working. Most of the marriage counseling coaching people are receiving today is not working. Y 'all still with me?" [00:02:43] (17 seconds)
"The primary reason relationships do not work is because one or both people are not filled with the spirit of God you all right so the question becomes how in the world can we become you fulfilled, spirit filled in our relationships. Amen?" [00:12:42] (25 seconds)
"To be filled with the Spirit means to be controlled and influenced by the Spirit of God. Now, boy, there are two aspects of the Holy Spirit. There's what we call task filling. And then there is being filled by the Spirit. Task filling says, you know what? God empowers you and God gives you ability for a specific task." [00:24:24] (28 seconds)
"When we fail in a marriage, that's because we're not submitting ourselves to the work of the Holy Spirit. It ain't primarily communication. It ain't primarily the in-laws. Not primarily money. Not primarily different backgrounds. Not primarily kids. Not primarily chores. It's primarily one or both of the individuals are not submitting to the Holy Spirit of God." [00:20:02] (26 seconds)
"The process is, is that you make yourself available for God to maneuver, to manage, and to control your life. How many of y 'all got cruise control in your car? Raise your hand. How many got cruise control in your car? All right. Okay. Okay. Let's start back over. How many of y 'all have heard of an automobile? All right." [00:27:33] (24 seconds)
"God wants to direct you. God wants to control you. He got the Holy Spirit right here. Thank you, Holy Spirit. All right. Thank you. All right. All right. Holy Spirit, he came to my aid. Amen. He came to my assistance. All right. All right. Praise the Lord. Watch this now. The Holy Spirit does not want to be your co-pilot. He wants to be your pilot." [00:28:52] (19 seconds)
"See, when you're filled with the spirit you know how to navigate your marriage when you feel with the spirit god tells you what to say god tells you what not to say god tells you when to do it god tells you when not to do it are we tracking together so what's the product of being filled product number one is speaking to one another in psalms how do you communicate with your mate now boy this gonna be a this gonna be an integrity test how many of y 'all get mad with your mate and at a minimum think things you shouldn't think" [00:32:11] (37 seconds)
"God is saying when you are filled with the spirit here is what would emanate from your life so boy you don't go to an apple tree and just start pulling off apples not what you do but you plant the seed you water the seed you cultivate the seed and then when you take care of the root it produces the fruit" [00:41:52] (22 seconds)
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