Empathy: The Key to Connection and Transformation

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There is a researcher who actually identified four attributes of empathy, and she said they don't necessarily come in order, they just happen to be. But the first one is perspective -taking, and that's what Joy was talking about in kids' time, when you can see somebody else's perspective. You can see their point of view. And so it's recognizing that, you know, this interaction isn't just me, it's myself and this other person, and they have their own perspective and their own lens. [00:43:47] (33 seconds)


And then the fourth piece is communicating to them that you do understand, that, you know, you've been there. Like the woman said to me, I've been there, it's okay. And what that does is it reconnects us. It reconnects us to ourselves. We don't have, you know, we don't feel like we have to have that sense of shame anymore. It reconnects us to other people. It reconnects us to God. [00:45:16] (27 seconds)


Sympathy is more like pity, where you're recognizing that they hurt, but you're like, oh, I don't want to go there. It's things like, oh, I can't imagine doing that. You know, and it's like, really, you can't imagine being in a situation like that? And so you're holding the person at arm's length. You're not connecting with them. You're not, tapping into that, those universal experiences that we all feel, right? [00:45:22] (29 seconds)


Jesus is teaching in the temple and these scribes and Pharisees are trying to test him. And they bring this woman who is caught in the act of adultery. Hmm. With whom, right? You don't adultery by yourself. That, by the very definition, requires another person, right? And the law actually says that the man and the woman are supposed to be brought together and there are supposed to be at least two witnesses. [00:48:02] (31 seconds)


What are you doing witnessing this adultery? I don't know. But anyway, so they only bring the woman and they use her as an object. This woman, she is the one who was caught in the very act of adultery. The law says we're supposed to stone such women. Boy, do you hear the judgment? Do you hear the, the, you know, um, shaming and belittling of this woman? [00:48:24] (31 seconds)


And so Jesus, in all of his wisdom, kneels down and starts writing something in the sand. Do you know what he basically said to them? I'm not having this conversation in these terms. It was a way of disengaging, a way of saying, no, we're not having this conversation, not in this way. When I was in the Navy, we used to joke about, we kept a log on the bridge about everything that happened on the ship, and we used to joke about an entry that said, the captain was not drunk today. [00:49:38] (38 seconds)


And so if you frame the conversation in that way, it's like, well, is the captain usually drunk? Well, no, but the captain isn't drunk. So I think Jesus was kind of saying, I'm not going to have this conversation in the way that you frame it. And they're not having any of it, right? So they keep badgering him. Come on, Jesus, what are you going to do? And so Jesus stands up. [00:50:02] (27 seconds)


And he says, let the one without sin cast the first stone, right? Like, hmm, let's take the perspective of someone who has done something wrong. He's inviting them to take the perspective of the woman, of someone who has done something wrong. And then he goes right back down to writing in the sand, basically saying, this conversation's over. I'm done. So one by one, they leave. [00:50:36] (33 seconds)


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