Empathy and Forgiveness: Seeing Others Through God's Eyes

 

Summary

Extending empathy to those who have hurt us is a challenging yet transformative journey. Anger and unforgiveness often lead us to divide the world into two groups: those we are at peace with and those we hold resentment against. This division is a natural human tendency, but it is not the path God calls us to walk. The story of Jonah serves as a powerful illustration of this struggle. Jonah, unlike other prophets, never identifies with the brokenness of the people he is sent to. He sees the Ninevites as "other," as enemies, and resists God's call to preach repentance to them. Even when they repent, Jonah is angry because he cannot see them through God's eyes of compassion and mercy.

The philosopher Iris Murdoch offers insight into this dilemma by suggesting that our moral and spiritual lives are not just about isolated decisions but are shaped by how we continuously perceive and attend to others. Our perceptions can be clouded by biases and judgments, much like Jonah's view of the Ninevites. Murdoch challenges us to see people truthfully and lovingly, to look beyond our initial judgments and see them as God does.

To cultivate this perspective, we must engage in self-reflection. By recalling times when we have hurt others, we can better understand the complexity of human actions and intentions. Often, we act out of frustration or misunderstanding, not malice. Recognizing this in ourselves can help us extend grace to those who have wronged us, imagining that they, too, might have acted with reasons they believed were justified at the time.

This exercise is not about excusing wrongdoing but about gaining a deeper understanding of others. It invites us to see them with "magic eyes," eyes that perceive truth and love rather than judgment and resentment. This shift in perspective can lead to healing and reconciliation, aligning our hearts with God's desire for forgiveness and unity.

Key Takeaways:

1. The Division of Humanity: Anger and unforgiveness often lead us to categorize people into those we accept and those we resent. This division is a natural human tendency but not the path God calls us to walk. We are invited to see others through God's eyes, which requires a shift from judgment to empathy. [00:50]

2. Jonah's Struggle: Jonah's story illustrates the difficulty of extending empathy to those we view as "other." Unlike other prophets, Jonah does not identify with the brokenness of the people he is sent to. His anger and resistance highlight the challenge of seeing others as God does, with compassion and mercy. [02:31]

3. Continuous Moral Life: Iris Murdoch suggests that our moral and spiritual lives are shaped by how we continuously perceive and attend to others. Our perceptions can be clouded by biases and judgments, and we are called to see people truthfully and lovingly, beyond our initial judgments. [06:29]

4. Self-Reflection and Empathy: By recalling times when we have hurt others, we can better understand the complexity of human actions and intentions. Recognizing our own flawed reasoning can help us extend grace to those who have wronged us, imagining that they, too, might have acted with reasons they believed were justified. [08:39]

5. Seeing with Magic Eyes: The exercise of seeing others with "magic eyes" is about gaining a deeper understanding of others, not excusing wrongdoing. It invites us to perceive truth and love rather than judgment and resentment, leading to healing and reconciliation. [10:37]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:37] - Dividing the World
- [01:06] - Extending Empathy
- [01:18] - The Unique Prophet Jonah
- [02:04] - Prophets and Identification
- [02:31] - Jonah's Reluctance
- [03:02] - Jonah's Anger
- [03:30] - God's Lesson for Jonah
- [04:16] - Iris Murdoch's Insight
- [05:13] - Seeing Truthfully and Lovingly
- [06:14] - Continuous Moral Life
- [07:42] - Magic Eyes Exercise
- [08:39] - Self-Reflection on Hurting Others
- [09:39] - Understanding Wrongdoers
- [10:37] - Seeing with Magic Eyes

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Jonah 4:1-11
- Isaiah 6:5
- Micah 1:8

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Observation Questions:

1. How does Jonah's reaction to the Ninevites' repentance reveal his struggle with empathy and forgiveness? [03:02]
2. What is unique about Jonah compared to other prophets like Isaiah and Micah in terms of identifying with the people they are sent to? [01:50]
3. How does God attempt to teach Jonah a lesson about compassion and perspective through the plant and the worm? [03:30]
4. What does Iris Murdoch suggest about the nature of moral and spiritual life, and how does it relate to Jonah's story? [04:16]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. Why might Jonah have found it difficult to see the Ninevites through God's eyes of compassion and mercy? [03:15]
2. How does the story of Jonah challenge the natural human tendency to divide the world into "us" and "them"? [02:31]
3. In what ways does Iris Murdoch's idea of "seeing truthfully and lovingly" apply to our daily interactions with others? [05:13]
4. How can self-reflection on our own actions help us extend grace to those who have wronged us? [08:39]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a time when you felt anger or resentment towards someone. How did that affect your perception of them, and what steps can you take to see them through "magic eyes"? [10:37]
2. Consider a situation where you have been hurt by someone. How might recalling your own experiences of hurting others help you empathize with their actions? [09:08]
3. How can you practice seeing others truthfully and lovingly in your daily life, especially those you find difficult to relate to? [05:13]
4. Identify a person or group you tend to view as "other." What practical steps can you take to bridge that divide and extend empathy towards them? [02:31]
5. Think about a relationship where forgiveness is needed. What specific actions can you take this week to move towards reconciliation and healing? [10:37]
6. How can you incorporate self-reflection into your routine to better understand your own biases and judgments? [08:39]
7. What is one way you can remind yourself to see others with compassion and mercy, especially in moments of conflict or misunderstanding? [03:30]

Devotional

Day 1: Seeing Beyond Division
Anger and unforgiveness often lead us to categorize people into those we accept and those we resent. This division is a natural human tendency but not the path God calls us to walk. We are invited to see others through God's eyes, which requires a shift from judgment to empathy. This shift is not easy, as it challenges our ingrained perceptions and biases. However, it is essential for spiritual growth and alignment with God's will. By choosing to see others with empathy, we open ourselves to the possibility of healing and reconciliation, both for ourselves and for those we have categorized as "other." [00:50]

"For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same?" (Matthew 5:46-47, ESV)

Reflection: Think of someone you have categorized as "other" due to past hurt. How can you begin to see them through God's eyes of empathy and compassion today?


Day 2: Jonah's Reluctance and Our Own
Jonah's story illustrates the difficulty of extending empathy to those we view as "other." Unlike other prophets, Jonah does not identify with the brokenness of the people he is sent to. His anger and resistance highlight the challenge of seeing others as God does, with compassion and mercy. Jonah's reluctance serves as a mirror for our own struggles with empathy, revealing how our judgments can cloud our ability to see others as God sees them. By examining Jonah's story, we can learn to confront our own biases and work towards a more compassionate perspective. [02:31]

"But it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry. And he prayed to the Lord and said, 'O Lord, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster.'" (Jonah 4:1-2, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you resisted showing compassion to someone. What can you learn from Jonah's story to help you overcome this resistance?


Day 3: The Continuous Moral Life
Iris Murdoch suggests that our moral and spiritual lives are shaped by how we continuously perceive and attend to others. Our perceptions can be clouded by biases and judgments, and we are called to see people truthfully and lovingly, beyond our initial judgments. This continuous moral life requires ongoing self-awareness and intentionality in how we view and interact with others. By striving to see others truthfully and lovingly, we align ourselves with God's vision for humanity, fostering deeper connections and understanding. [06:29]

"Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment." (John 7:24, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a recent interaction where your initial judgment may have been clouded by bias. How can you approach similar situations with a more truthful and loving perspective?


Day 4: Self-Reflection and Empathy
By recalling times when we have hurt others, we can better understand the complexity of human actions and intentions. Recognizing our own flawed reasoning can help us extend grace to those who have wronged us, imagining that they, too, might have acted with reasons they believed were justified. This self-reflection fosters empathy, allowing us to see others not as adversaries but as fellow humans navigating their own struggles. Through this process, we can cultivate a more forgiving and compassionate heart, in line with God's desire for unity and reconciliation. [08:39]

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." (Galatians 6:1, ESV)

Reflection: Recall a time when you hurt someone unintentionally. How can this memory help you extend grace to someone who has wronged you?


Day 5: Seeing with Magic Eyes
The exercise of seeing others with "magic eyes" is about gaining a deeper understanding of others, not excusing wrongdoing. It invites us to perceive truth and love rather than judgment and resentment, leading to healing and reconciliation. By choosing to see with magic eyes, we open ourselves to the transformative power of empathy, allowing us to connect with others on a deeper level. This perspective aligns our hearts with God's desire for forgiveness and unity, fostering a community built on love and understanding. [10:37]

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32, ESV)

Reflection: Who in your life do you need to see with "magic eyes"? What steps can you take today to begin this process of understanding and reconciliation?

Quotes


Anger, unforgiveness is a force that causes me to divide the world up into two kinds of people and one of them are people that I'm not angry at not resenting people that I think are good they're okay and then people who are not, so we're going to talk today about extending empathy to the person who hurt me. [00:45:43]

Jonah is the only figure of all the prophets who never identifies with the sinfulness and Brokenness and fallenness of the people to whom he speaks. So if you know about the prophet Isaiah, for example, in the sixth chapter, he has this Vision I saw the Lord high and lifted up and I said to myself woe is me for I am a man of unclean lips. [01:38:24]

With all the prophets there is this scent that they identify with they are a part of people who need God who are broken and therefore they want repentance to come, therefore they want forgiveness to flow. Jonah does not if you remember the story God wants him to go preach to Nineveh um Nineveh they're just different they are other they are them we are us they are bad we are good. [02:21:72]

He had ruminated so much on the evil the Badness of the ninevites that he could not see them he could not see them in particular he could not see them the way that God wanted to see him so God tries to work with him does this little Parable he's out sitting in the Sun God sends a little plant to give him shade. [03:17:96]

Iris Murdoch writes when the mother-in-law is just and loving she sees her daughter-in-law as she really is in other words the question is am I seeking to see this person truthfully uh not through rose-colored glasses but in the truth and then do I love them is my will set towards love. [05:16:56]

If we consider what the work of attention is like how continuously it goes on how imperceptibly it builds up structures of value around us we shall not be surprised that at crucial moments of choice most of the business of choosing is already over like to Jonah it was quite clear none of us should just be condemned. [06:00:00]

The moral life is something that goes on continually not something that is Switched Off in between the occurrences of explicit moral choices should I lie should I cheat should I steal I often think about it that way no no no no no my moral life my spiritual life therefore my need for God is happening every single moment. [06:35:28]

What happens in between such choices is indeed what is crucial and what I want to ask for is Magic eyes to look at the world and especially people not Through The Eyes of ego or unforgiveness but Through The Eyes Of Truth or love so here's the help this is from EV Worthing to now this's is a little exercise to do. [07:26:00]

Write a few sentences about a time you hurt someone before during and after you hurt the person what did you feel think see and do I have a very vivid memory several years ago of being frustrated and angry with someone and they got out to walk around for while I got out to walk around for while we both got back in the car. [07:48:91]

Think about this we all do things for reasons we think are good at the time and I did I was frustrated I wanted to break through I didn't know how to break through I did it in the wrong way these might not seem like good reasons to the people who have been hurt though we have all experienced hurting others even with the best of intentions. [08:41:47]

It's tempting to think of wrongdoers as evil and unkind like the nites and sometimes they are sometimes I am but often in our hearts we can see we might have provoked the person that the person might have meant well or that the person might have been under pressure that made his or her acts easier to understand. [09:48:07]

Now here's the idea you're trying to get a different glimpse of that other person to look at them with God's help through magic eyes it does not excuse if somebody did something that is wrong that is deeply wrong it helps me understand them it helps me to begin to see them through magic eyes as a real person God help me to move in that direction. [10:30:32]

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Transcript
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