Empathetic Leadership: Serving as a Family in Faith
Summary
In my sermon today, I explored the concept of leadership within the context of our church community, drawing inspiration from the early church, the story of Nehemiah, and modern examples of leadership. I emphasized the importance of operating as a family rather than an organization, highlighting the need for empathy, selflessness, and a sense of collective responsibility.
I began by discussing the New Testament church's example of unity and generosity, where believers shared everything in common and provided for those in need. I encouraged our church, Feralon, to emulate this spirit of giving, not just financially but also through personal investment and time.
I then addressed the issue of self-criticism, using the term "shoulding on yourself" to describe the harmful practice of constantly feeling like we should have done better. I urged us to avoid this negative self-talk and instead focus on our collective efforts, much like the families listed in the book of Nehemiah who rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem together.
I shared my admiration for the concept of "leaders eat last," a principle I learned from the military and from Simon Sinek's book. This principle teaches that true leaders prioritize the needs of others before their own, fostering trust and respect within the community.
I recounted the harrowing story of Faith Wambua, who protected her children during a mall attack by playing dead. This act of bravery and selflessness serves as a powerful example of leadership and the protective nature of family.
Throughout the sermon, I wove in the theme of leadership as a choice rather than a position, emphasizing that anyone can step up and lead by example, regardless of their official role within the church.
I also touched on the importance of forgiveness and protection within the family of God. We must let go of grudges and instead focus on safeguarding each other from threats, both physical and spiritual.
Finally, I delved into the biological aspects of leadership, discussing how God designed us with chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol. These chemicals play roles in our feelings of satisfaction, acceptance, bonding, and stress. I explained how understanding these can help us lead more effectively and create a supportive environment within our church.
Key Takeaways:
- True leadership is not about titles or positions but about stepping up to serve and protect others, much like Nehemiah did for his people and Faith Wambua did for her children. Leadership is a choice that we make every day through our actions and decisions. [22:06]
- Empathy is a crucial aspect of leadership. It allows us to genuinely connect with others and understand their struggles, leading to a more compassionate and supportive community. Empathy should always take precedence over sympathy, which can create distance and disconnection. [16:54]
- The principle of "leaders eat last" is a powerful metaphor for selflessness in leadership. By ensuring that the needs of others are met before our own, we build trust and create a culture of mutual respect and care within our church family. [03:08]
- Forgiveness within the church family is essential for unity and growth. Holding onto grudges can create division and hinder our collective mission. By releasing others from the debts they owe us, we foster an environment of grace and freedom. [31:25]
- Understanding the biological basis of our emotions and behaviors can enhance our leadership. Chemicals like endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol influence how we interact with others and how we lead. By creating an environment that promotes the release of positive chemicals, we can strengthen our church family and reduce stress and anxiety. [47:12]
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Nehemiah 1:3-4 - "They said to me, 'Those who survived the exile and are back in the province are in great trouble and disgrace. The wall of Jerusalem is broken down, and its gates have been burned with fire.' When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven."
2. Nehemiah 2:2-5 - "So the king asked me, 'Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.' I was very much afraid, but I said to the king, 'May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?' The king said to me, 'What is it you want?' Then I prayed to the God of heaven, and I answered the king, 'If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.'"
3. Acts 2:44-45 - "All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need."
#### Observation Questions
1. What was Nehemiah's reaction when he heard about the state of Jerusalem's walls and gates? (Nehemiah 1:3-4)
2. How did Nehemiah approach the king with his request to rebuild Jerusalem? (Nehemiah 2:2-5)
3. What did the early church do to support each other according to Acts 2:44-45?
4. In the sermon, what principle did the pastor highlight from the military and Simon Sinek's book? ([01:42])
#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Nehemiah was so deeply moved by the news of Jerusalem's condition? How does this reflect his leadership qualities? (Nehemiah 1:3-4)
2. What does Nehemiah's approach to the king teach us about the importance of prayer and preparation in leadership? (Nehemiah 2:2-5)
3. How does the early church's practice of sharing everything in common challenge our modern understanding of community and generosity? (Acts 2:44-45)
4. The sermon mentioned the concept of "leaders eat last." How does this principle foster trust and respect within a community? ([01:42])
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you felt called to step up as a leader in your community or family. How did you respond, and what was the outcome? ([22:06])
2. How can you practice empathy over sympathy in your daily interactions? Can you think of a specific situation where empathy made a difference? ([16:03])
3. The sermon emphasized the importance of selflessness in leadership. What are some practical ways you can put others' needs before your own in your church or community? ([03:08])
4. Forgiveness is crucial for unity within the church family. Is there someone you need to forgive to foster a more supportive and loving community? ([31:25])
5. Understanding the biological basis of our emotions can enhance our leadership. How can you create an environment that promotes the release of positive chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin in your church or family? ([47:12])
6. The story of Faith Wambua's bravery during the mall attack was a powerful example of leadership. How can you apply her example of selflessness and protection in your own life? ([08:52])
7. The sermon discussed the harmful practice of "shoulding on yourself." How can you shift your focus from self-criticism to collective efforts and support within your community? ([34:34])
Devotional
Day 1: Leadership Through Service and Protection
True leadership manifests in the daily choices to serve and protect those around us. It is not confined to those with titles or official positions but is a role that anyone can assume by demonstrating care and commitment to the well-being of others. This form of leadership is exemplified in the actions of Nehemiah, who took it upon himself to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem, not for personal gain but for the safety and prosperity of his people. Similarly, the courageous act of Faith Wambua, who shielded her children during a crisis, illustrates that leadership often requires self-sacrifice and a protective instinct akin to that found within a family. By choosing to lead through service and protection, individuals embody the essence of what it means to be a leader in the truest sense.
"Then I said to them, 'You see the trouble we are in, how Jerusalem lies in ruins with its gates burned. Come, let us build the wall of Jerusalem, that we may no longer suffer derision.'" - Nehemiah 2:17 (ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on a situation where you could have stepped up to serve or protect someone but chose not to. What held you back, and how can you prepare yourself to make a different choice next time? [22:06]
Day 2: Empathy as the Heart of Leadership
Empathy is the cornerstone of effective leadership, allowing one to genuinely connect with and understand the experiences of others. It goes beyond mere sympathy, which can create a sense of separation, and instead fosters a deep sense of shared experience and compassion. When leaders exhibit empathy, they create a supportive and nurturing environment that encourages individuals to thrive. This empathetic approach is crucial within a church family, where members are called to bear one another's burdens and to rejoice with those who rejoice. By prioritizing empathy, leaders can cultivate a community that reflects the love and care that is central to the Christian faith.
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." - Galatians 6:2 (ESV)
Reflection: Think of a time when someone showed you empathy. How did it impact your relationship with them, and how can you practice showing empathy to others in your church community today? [16:54]
Day 3: Selflessness: The 'Leaders Eat Last' Principle
The 'leaders eat last' principle is a profound metaphor for the selflessness required in leadership. It suggests that a true leader ensures the needs of their community are met before attending to their own. This approach builds trust and fosters a culture of mutual respect and care. It is a principle that can be applied not only in the military or corporate settings but also within the church family. By putting others first, leaders can create an environment where every member feels valued and supported, which is essential for the growth and unity of the church body.
"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." - Philippians 2:3 (ESV)
Reflection: How can you practice the 'leaders eat last' principle in your daily interactions with family, friends, and church members? [03:08]
Day 4: Forgiveness as the Path to Unity
Forgiveness is a vital component of a healthy and united church family. Holding onto grudges and past hurts can create division and impede the church's mission. By choosing to forgive, individuals release others from the debts they owe, mirroring the grace and forgiveness that God extends to all. This act of letting go not only liberates the one who forgives but also contributes to a culture of grace and freedom within the church, allowing for growth and deeper fellowship among its members.
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive." - Colossians 3:12-13 (ESV)
Reflection: Who do you need to forgive in your church community, and what steps can you take today to move towards reconciliation and unity? [31:25]
Day 5: Biological Foundations of Leadership
Understanding the biological basis of our emotions and behaviors can greatly enhance our ability to lead effectively. The chemicals in our brains, such as endorphins, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol, influence our feelings of satisfaction, acceptance, bonding, and stress. By fostering an environment that promotes the release of positive chemicals, leaders can help create a supportive and stress-reduced atmosphere within the church. This knowledge empowers leaders to be more intentional in their interactions, ensuring that their leadership not only guides but also nurtures the church family.
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." - Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)
Reflection: What are some ways you can contribute to a positive and supportive environment in your church that encourages the release of these positive chemicals among its members? [47:12]
Quotes
"Because when you walk across that stage, that serotonin is released. And then it kind of goes two ways, because then your parents or your loved ones that are watching, serotonin is released in them." [48:08] ()
"If we're operating as a family, we've got to have this rule that we don't should on each other. Families don't should on each other. We're so, we're so, where do we want to beat people down." [35:45] ()
"For the past few months, I have this new favorite word. And I don't know if everybody catches on. But one of my new favorite words is this word called platitude." [38:19] ()
"Because if we're gonna operate like a family, we have to lead over-manage. And when we lead over-manage, we don't ask others to do what we wouldn't do." [22:06] ()
"Because a lot of times we sit back and we can nitpick what everybody else isn't doing. But everybody always thinks that they do the most stuff." [10:44] ()
"Because it's your brothers and sisters. It's family. And Pastor Mark and I, we were on the same page with us. We've said it since day one. Not like an organization, but like a family." [05:08] ()
"Because when people walk through those doors, it should be a safe place. Place where they know they belong, where they have a place, regardless of what they went through." [54:53] ()
"Because it creates an environment of trust and respect. And then it's proven that it's, by doing this, it leads to increased productivity, morale, and success." [03:08] ()
"Because your muscles are contracting. And now it actually hurts. Like it would hurt right away, just to laugh. Not everybody, not everybody has abs, like Bob Dameron." [41:00] ()
"Because if we've alerted, if there's real danger, we have a better chance of survival. Because we have a chance to protect ourselves." [51:41] ()
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