Embracing Unity and Love in Blended Families
Summary
### Summary
Today, we delved into the topic of blended families, a subject that resonates with many in our modern world. A blended family is defined as a family unit where one or both parents come into the marriage with children from previous relationships. This dynamic presents unique challenges, including dealing with past pain, guilt, and the presence of ex-spouses. However, God's design for family life, including blended families, is rooted in unity and love.
We began by examining Malachi 2:15, where God emphasizes the importance of unity in marriage and the goal of raising godly children. This unity is not just physical but spiritual, as God sees the married couple as one entity. This oneness extends to the children, whether biological or from previous relationships. The Bible supports this view, showing that children thrive best in a stable, godly home.
We also discussed the sensitive topic of divorce. While God hates divorce, there are biblically justifiable reasons for it, such as infidelity or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. It's crucial to understand that not all divorces are the fault of both parties, and those who have experienced divorce should not carry shame into their new relationships.
In a blended family, the principle of unity means that both parents must see themselves as one and act as one, especially in parenting. This includes adopting each other's children as their own, both emotionally and practically. We looked at examples from the Bible, such as Joseph's role in Jesus' life and Abraham's complex family dynamics, to illustrate how blended families can function according to God's plan.
For those dating someone with children, it's essential to be willing to love and accept their children fully. If you can't, it's better not to proceed with the relationship. Communication, establishing new family traditions, and setting clear boundaries with ex-spouses are vital for a harmonious blended family life.
Ultimately, the key to a successful blended family is love—unconditional, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ's love for us. By following God's principles and prioritizing unity and love, blended families can thrive and be a testament to God's grace and wisdom.
### Key Takeaways
1. Unity in Marriage and Parenting: God views marriage as a union where two become one, not just physically but spiritually. This unity extends to parenting, where both parents must see and treat each other's children as their own. This principle is crucial for the stability and godliness of the family unit. [05:44]
2. Biblical Perspective on Divorce: While God hates divorce, there are biblically justifiable reasons for it, such as infidelity or abandonment. It's important to understand that not all divorces are the fault of both parties, and those who have experienced divorce should not carry shame into their new relationships. [09:54]
3. Adopting Each Other's Children: In a blended family, both parents must adopt each other's children emotionally and practically. This means seeing the children as their own and acting accordingly, which fosters a sense of belonging and stability for the children. [19:18]
4. Communication and New Traditions: Effective communication and establishing new family traditions are vital for a harmonious blended family life. This includes setting clear boundaries with ex-spouses and ensuring that all family members feel valued and included. [46:06]
5. Unconditional Love: The key to a successful blended family is unconditional, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ's love for us. By prioritizing unity and love, blended families can thrive and be a testament to God's grace and wisdom. [40:29]
### YouTube Chapters
[0:00] - Welcome
[01:28] - Introduction to Blended Families
[03:01] - The Brady Bunch and Modern Blended Families
[04:18] - Malachi 2:15 and God's View on Marriage
[05:44] - Unity in Marriage and Parenting
[07:11] - The Importance of a Stable, Godly Home
[08:21] - Biblical Perspective on Divorce
[09:54] - Dealing with Shame from Divorce
[11:17] - The Impact of Infidelity
[12:54] - Society's Changing Norms on Marriage
[14:28] - Free Will and Personal Responsibility
[16:05] - Misconceptions About Divorce
[17:46] - Genesis 2:24 and the Law of Possession
[19:18] - Adopting Each Other's Children
[21:12] - The Importance of Unity in Blended Families
[22:50] - Jesus' Blended Family
[24:49] - Obedience and Respect in Blended Families
[26:30] - Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar
[28:13] - The Consequences of Creating Ishmaels
[30:01] - The Pain of Separation
[31:43] - Handling Blended Family Dynamics
[33:08] - The Role of Biological Parents
[34:45] - Dating and Blended Families
[36:05] - The Influence of New Partners on Children
[37:25] - Fathers' Role in Blended Families
[38:50] - Mothers' Role in Blended Families
[40:29] - Unconditional Love in Blended Families
[41:57] - The Impact of Emotional Immaturity
[43:19] - How Would Jesus Parent?
[44:48] - Practical Tips for Blended Families
[46:06] - Communication and Conflict Resolution
[47:32] - Dealing with Ex-Spouses
[48:53] - The Danger of Resentment
[50:15] - Taking the High Road
[51:48] - Invitation to Follow Jesus
[53:03] - Prayer and Commitment
[54:16] - Closing Remarks and Encouragement
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide: Blended Families
#### Bible Reading
1. Malachi 2:15-16 (NIV): "Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."
2. 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV): "But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
3. Ephesians 6:4 (NIV): "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
#### Observation Questions
1. According to Malachi 2:15, what is one of God's primary purposes for marriage? How does this purpose relate to the concept of unity in a blended family? [05:44]
2. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, what does Paul say about the situation where an unbelieving spouse leaves? How does this passage address the issue of guilt and shame in the context of divorce? [09:54]
3. How does Ephesians 6:4 instruct fathers to treat their children? Why might this be particularly important in a blended family setting? [37:25]
4. What examples from the Bible were given in the sermon to illustrate how blended families can function according to God's plan? [22:50]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does the principle of unity in marriage and parenting, as discussed in Malachi 2:15, apply to blended families? What challenges might arise in trying to achieve this unity? [05:44]
2. Reflect on the biblical perspective on divorce from 1 Corinthians 7:15. How can understanding this perspective help individuals in blended families deal with past pain and guilt? [09:54]
3. In what ways can fathers avoid exasperating their children, as advised in Ephesians 6:4? How might this advice be particularly relevant for stepfathers in blended families? [37:25]
4. The sermon mentioned the importance of adopting each other's children emotionally and practically. How does this align with the biblical examples of Joseph's role in Jesus' life and Abraham's family dynamics? [19:18]
#### Application Questions
1. Think about your own family dynamics. How can you foster a sense of unity and oneness in your family, especially if it is a blended family? What specific actions can you take this week to promote this unity? [05:44]
2. If you have experienced divorce, how can you apply the biblical perspective from 1 Corinthians 7:15 to release any lingering guilt or shame? What steps can you take to move forward in your current relationships? [09:54]
3. Reflect on your role as a parent or step-parent. How can you ensure that you are not exasperating your children but instead bringing them up in the training and instruction of the Lord? What changes might you need to make in your approach to parenting? [37:25]
4. The sermon emphasized the importance of unconditional love in blended families. How can you demonstrate this type of love to all members of your family, including stepchildren and ex-spouses? What practical steps can you take to show this love daily? [40:29]
5. Communication and establishing new family traditions were highlighted as vital for a harmonious blended family life. What new tradition can you start with your family this month? How can you improve communication within your family? [46:06]
6. Consider the advice given for those dating someone with children. If you are in this situation, how can you ensure that you are ready to fully accept and love your partner's children? What boundaries or discussions need to happen before moving forward in the relationship? [34:45]
7. Reflect on the role of ex-spouses in your family dynamics. How can you set clear boundaries and ensure that interactions with ex-spouses are handled in a way that benefits the children and maintains peace? What specific strategies can you implement to achieve this? [47:32]
Devotional
Day 1: Unity in Marriage and Parenting
Description: Unity in marriage is not just a physical union but a spiritual one, where God sees the married couple as one entity. This unity extends to parenting, where both parents must see and treat each other's children as their own. This principle is crucial for the stability and godliness of the family unit. In a blended family, this means that both parents must adopt each other's children emotionally and practically, fostering a sense of belonging and stability for the children. This unity is emphasized in Malachi 2:15, where God speaks about the importance of unity in marriage and the goal of raising godly children. [05:44]
Ephesians 4:3-6 (ESV): "Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."
Reflection: How can you actively work to create a sense of unity in your family today, especially in your role as a parent or stepparent?
Day 2: Biblical Perspective on Divorce
Description: While God hates divorce, there are biblically justifiable reasons for it, such as infidelity or abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. It's important to understand that not all divorces are the fault of both parties, and those who have experienced divorce should not carry shame into their new relationships. This understanding helps in healing past wounds and moving forward in a godly manner. The Bible provides guidance on these matters, emphasizing that God’s grace covers all, and His love is unconditional. [09:54]
Matthew 19:8-9 (ESV): "He said to them, 'Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.'"
Reflection: If you have experienced divorce, what steps can you take today to release any lingering shame and embrace God’s grace and forgiveness?
Day 3: Adopting Each Other's Children
Description: In a blended family, both parents must adopt each other's children emotionally and practically. This means seeing the children as their own and acting accordingly, which fosters a sense of belonging and stability for the children. Biblical examples, such as Joseph's role in Jesus' life and Abraham's complex family dynamics, illustrate how blended families can function according to God's plan. This principle of unity and love is essential for the well-being of the family. [19:18]
Romans 8:15-16 (ESV): "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, 'Abba! Father!' The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God."
Reflection: How can you show love and acceptance to your stepchildren today, making them feel like an integral part of the family?
Day 4: Communication and New Traditions
Description: Effective communication and establishing new family traditions are vital for a harmonious blended family life. This includes setting clear boundaries with ex-spouses and ensuring that all family members feel valued and included. Creating new traditions helps in building a unique family identity and fosters unity. Clear and open communication helps in resolving conflicts and understanding each other's needs and expectations. [46:06]
Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Reflection: What new family tradition can you start this week to help build unity and a sense of belonging in your blended family?
Day 5: Unconditional Love
Description: The key to a successful blended family is unconditional, sacrificial love that mirrors Christ's love for us. By prioritizing unity and love, blended families can thrive and be a testament to God's grace and wisdom. This love is not based on conditions or expectations but is given freely, just as Christ loves us. It involves patience, forgiveness, and a commitment to the well-being of every family member. [40:29]
1 John 4:7-8 (ESV): "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
Reflection: How can you demonstrate unconditional love to each member of your blended family today, reflecting Christ’s love for you?
Quotes
### Quotes for Outreach
1. "Although God wants family life to be one of the best part of our lives, that for a lot of people, that just isn't the case. And one of the reasons why that is is because we've been affected with ideas about family that did not come from God, that came from the world around us." [01:28] (13 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "God is thinking not just about the man and the woman when he puts them together. He's thinking about the children. And God is still thinking about the children and the home when the parents are not." [07:11] (13 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "So God is saying, Hey, this is actually what I need to do anyway. But I want you to notice that Sarah did not handle this the right way. She got her way because of God's plans for Isaac, not because of her emotions." [31:43] (19 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "Be thankful for every day your children are in your home. I want to encourage you today, recognize that God gave you the opportunity to be an amazing, blended family. Do things God's way, and watch him cause things to be good, and pleasant for all of you." [50:15] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
### Quotes for Members
1. "Something that couples who were divorced and now are in a blended family sometimes struggle with is shame. They feel shame for the previous relationship breaking up. They feel shame for the impact on their children, and they bring those feelings of shame into the new relationship, and it creates problems." [09:54] (23 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "In healthy blended families, children are never seen as his or hers; they are always ours. So marriage is two becoming one in every way, not just sexually, not even just financially like we talked about last week. It is becoming one in every way." [19:18] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "If you are not willing to love the kids of your, the person you're thinking about marrying, because that's really what dating is about. The purpose of dating is marriage. It's not just to hang out. It's not to have somebody to sleep with. Amen. It's marriage." [33:08] (18 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "If you resent your spouse's children, your spouse will eventually resent you. So instead you got to do the opposite. You got to choose to deeply care for those children just like they do and recognize them. They are now your assignment. From God, just like they are your spouse's assignment." [33:08] (20 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "Love is not touchy or fretful or resentful. When children are in a home where they have touchy parents, fretful, resentful parents, I did some reading about this a couple weeks ago, and it talks about children that are in parent homes with emotionally immature parents, are children that have a very hard time as adults." [43:19] (17 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
Chatbot
-
I'm an AI bot trained specifically on the sermon from Apr 24, 2023. Do you have any questions about it?