Embracing True Forgiveness: A Path to Freedom

Devotional

Day 1: Forgiveness Means Releasing the Debt Owed

Forgiveness is not simply ignoring a wrong or saying “it’s okay”; it is the intentional act of releasing the debt someone owes you because of harm done. When you forgive, you are choosing not to hold that guilt over the other person, not to seek repayment or retribution, but to hand the weight of that offense over to God. This act is not easy, and it often feels costly, but it is the very thing that breaks the cycle of bitterness and resentment that can otherwise take root in your heart. True forgiveness is a radical act that mirrors the way God forgives us, removing the guilt and setting us free from the burden of holding onto past hurts. [05:49]

Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV)
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Reflection: Is there a specific hurt or offense you are still holding onto? What would it look like to intentionally release that debt to God today, trusting Him with the outcome?

Day 2: God’s Forgiveness Is Unlimited and Begins With Him

God’s forgiveness is not limited by our standards or by the number of times we fail; He forgives us beyond measure, absorbing the full cost of our debt through Christ. Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant shows that our own forgiveness is rooted in the immeasurable mercy God has shown us—He cancels a debt we could never repay. When we realize the enormity of what God has forgiven in us, it humbles us and calls us to extend that same forgiveness to others, not keeping a tally or setting limits, but forgiving as we have been forgiven. [11:16]

Matthew 18:21-27 (ESV)
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.”

Reflection: When you consider the “debt” God has forgiven in your life, how does that change your perspective on forgiving others who have wronged you?

Day 3: Unforgiveness Imprisons the Heart

Holding onto unforgiveness is like carrying a weight that grows heavier with time, poisoning your relationships and your own spirit. When you refuse to forgive, the anger and bitterness metastasize, affecting not just your relationship with the person who hurt you, but spilling over into every area of your life. God warns us that unforgiveness is serious—it can even hinder our relationship with Him. Forgiveness, on the other hand, releases you from the prison of resentment and allows God’s peace to fill your heart. [17:19]

Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV)
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Reflection: Is there someone whose name or presence stirs up anger or bitterness in you? What step can you take today to begin releasing that person and the hold they have on your heart?

Day 4: God’s Forgiveness Removes Our Sins Completely

God’s forgiveness is so complete that He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west, choosing not to remember them or treat us as our sins deserve. This is the foundation of our hope, peace, and joy: that God’s love is greater than our failures, and His mercy is deeper than our guilt. When you wake up each day in the light of this forgiveness, it transforms how you see yourself and others, empowering you to extend that same grace to those around you. [22:54]

Psalm 103:10-12 (ESV)
He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Reflection: How would your day change if you truly believed that God has completely removed your sins and no longer holds them against you?

Day 5: Forgiveness Brings Freedom and New Life

Forgiveness is not always about reconciliation with the other person; sometimes, it is about releasing yourself from the captivity of past hurts, even when the other person is gone or unreachable. In Christ, you are invited to live no longer as a victim, but as one set free by God’s forgiveness—able to let go of shame, bitterness, and the desire for revenge. Even in situations where reconciliation is impossible, you can still experience the peace and freedom that comes from releasing the debt to God and trusting Him to heal and restore your heart. [28:42]

Colossians 3:13 (ESV)
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Reflection: Is there a relationship or past hurt where reconciliation is not possible, but you still need to forgive? What would it look like to release that pain to God and walk in the freedom He offers?

Sermon Summary

Forgiveness is at the very heart of God’s relationship with us and is meant to be at the center of our relationships with one another. The words “I forgive you” are not just a polite response or a way to move past awkwardness—they are a radical declaration that the debt of harm done is truly removed. Too often, we substitute forgiveness with phrases like “It’s okay” or “Don’t worry about it,” but these do not address the real pain or the real debt that sin creates. True forgiveness is costly; it means absorbing the debt ourselves, just as God absorbed the cost of our sin through the sacrifice of His Son.

Jesus’ parable of the unforgiving servant reveals the vastness of the debt we owe to God—one so great we could never repay it. Yet God, in His mercy, cancels that debt entirely. The tragedy comes when we, having been forgiven so much, refuse to extend that same forgiveness to others. When we hold onto the wrongs done to us, it’s like carrying stones that weigh us down, leading to bitterness, anger, and broken relationships. This refusal to forgive not only harms others but also poisons our own hearts, metastasizing like a cancer into every area of our lives.

God takes forgiveness seriously because it cost Him dearly. The cross is the ultimate payment for our sin, and when we refuse to forgive, we reject the very heart of the gospel. Forgiveness is not about forgetting or pretending the harm never happened, nor is it about putting ourselves back in harm’s way. Sometimes reconciliation is not possible, but forgiveness is always possible because it is a work God does in our hearts. It is a release of the debt to God, trusting that He has paid it in full.

Living in the light of God’s forgiveness transforms us. When we daily remember how much we have been forgiven, we are empowered to forgive others—not out of obligation, but out of gratitude and freedom. This is not easy, and sometimes it requires the help of others to walk through the pain. But as we forgive, we experience the peace, hope, and joy that God intends for us, and we become channels of His grace to a hurting world.

Key Takeaways

1. Forgiveness Is the Costly Removal of Debt, Not Mere Dismissal True forgiveness is not saying “it’s okay” or ignoring the harm done. It is the deliberate act of removing the guilt and debt owed because of the wrong, just as God has done for us. This means absorbing the cost ourselves, which is never easy, but it is the only way to break the cycle of pain and bitterness. [05:49]
2. God’s Forgiveness Is the Foundation for Our Forgiveness of Others We can only truly forgive when we recognize the enormity of the debt God has forgiven us. Every sin is ultimately against God, and He has paid the price in full through Jesus. When we grasp the depth of His mercy, it humbles us and enables us to extend that same mercy to those who have wronged us. [12:03]
3. Unforgiveness Imprisons and Poisons the Heart Holding onto the guilt others owe us is like carrying stones that weigh us down, leading to anger, bitterness, and even unbelief. This unresolved pain metastasizes, affecting every relationship and area of our lives, until it consumes us. God calls us to forgive not just for the sake of others, but for our own freedom and healing. [19:19]
4. Forgiveness Does Not Always Mean Reconciliation or Forgetting There are situations where reconciliation is not possible or safe, such as in cases of abuse or deep betrayal. Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting or allowing continued harm; it is releasing the debt to God and refusing to let the wrong define or control us. This allows us to move forward in freedom, even if the relationship cannot be restored. [28:42]
5. Living in Forgiveness Brings Peace, Joy, and the Power to Forgive Others When we daily remember and receive God’s forgiveness, it changes us from the inside out. We are set free from shame and the need to get even, and we become able to say, “I forgive you,” even when it is hard. This is the path to true peace and the restoration God desires for us and through us. [30:10]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[00:40] - Opening Prayer and Introduction
[02:40] - The Power and Challenge of “I Forgive You”
[05:05] - Common Substitutes for Forgiveness
[05:49] - What Forgiveness Really Means
[06:53] - Forgiveness Is Not Ignoring the Debt
[07:48] - Forgiveness Is Hard and Costly
[08:21] - Peter’s Question: How Much Should We Forgive?
[10:14] - The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
[12:03] - The Enormity of Our Debt to God
[14:15] - The Tragedy of Withholding Forgiveness
[17:19] - The Seriousness of Forgiveness in God’s Eyes
[19:19] - The Consequences of Unforgiveness
[22:54] - God’s Complete Removal of Our Sin
[24:01] - The Cycle of Forgiveness
[26:34] - The Challenge and Freedom of Forgiving
[28:42] - Forgiveness Without Reconciliation
[30:10] - Living in the Joy of Forgiveness
[30:55] - Closing and Blessing

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Matthew 18:21-35 (ESV) – The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant —
> 21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
>
> 23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Psalm 103:10-12 (ESV) —
> 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.
>
> 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;
>
> 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Observation Questions

In the parable Jesus tells, what is the difference between the debt owed by the first servant and the debt owed by the second servant? What does this say about the scale of forgiveness? ([10:14])
According to the sermon, what are some common phrases people use instead of “I forgive you,” and why do these fall short of true forgiveness? ([05:05])
What does the master do when he finds out the forgiven servant refused to forgive his fellow servant? ([17:19])
How does Psalm 103 describe the way God deals with our sins? ([22:54])

Interpretation Questions

Why does Jesus use such an enormous debt in the parable to describe what we owe to God? What is he trying to communicate about our need for forgiveness? ([12:03])
The sermon says that forgiveness is “costly” and involves absorbing the debt ourselves. What does this mean in practical terms for our relationships? ([05:49])
Why is holding onto unforgiveness compared to carrying stones or letting cancer spread in our lives? What are the real-life consequences of refusing to forgive? ([19:19])
The sermon makes a distinction between forgiveness and reconciliation. Why is it important to understand that forgiveness does not always mean restoring a relationship or forgetting the harm? ([28:42])

Application Questions

Think of a time when someone hurt you and you responded with “It’s okay” or “Don’t worry about it” instead of “I forgive you.” How did that affect your relationship and your own heart? ([05:05])
Is there someone in your life right now that you are struggling to forgive? What “stones” are you still carrying, and how is that affecting you? ([05:49])
The sermon says that God’s forgiveness is the foundation for our forgiveness of others. How does remembering the size of your own forgiven debt help you approach people who have wronged you? ([12:03])
Are there situations in your life where reconciliation is not possible or safe, but forgiveness is still needed? What would it look like to release that debt to God, even if you can’t restore the relationship? ([28:42])
The pastor mentioned that unforgiveness can “metastasize” and affect every area of our lives. Have you seen this happen in your own life or in someone else’s? What steps could you take to break that cycle? ([19:19])
Forgiveness is not easy and sometimes requires help from others. Who could you talk to or pray with about a situation where you need to forgive? ([29:34])
What is one practical way you can daily remember and receive God’s forgiveness, so that you are empowered to forgive others out of gratitude and freedom? ([30:10])

Sermon Clips

Forgiven but not forgiving leads to rejecting God's forgiveness if you are one who has been forgiven but you are not one who forgives he says you are not forgiven no no no that can't be he's love he's forgiving he'll always forgive me this is how my heavenly father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brothers or sisters from your heart. [00:16:40] (37 seconds) #forgiveToBeForgiven

Why does God take forgiveness so seriously why does he take it so seriously because the cost in order for you to be forgiven what cost was there his son would have to die for you he values forgiveness so deeply his love for you so deeply that he doesn't want you to miss out on that gift for you besides the earthly parts that go with it. [00:18:23] (45 seconds) #forgivenessCostlyLove

Forgiveness releases guilt that leads to anger bitterness malice slander which leads to unbelief he says I want you to forgive not for my sake but for yours because when you don't forgive when you keep holding on to that guilt from someone else it's like those rocks that keep getting put in that cup and those rocks keep filling up and you keep filling up and they keep filling up and any and some of you know this that guilt ends up acting like cancer what happens if cancer isn't found in the host organ what do they call it metastasized that's a big fancy word for what spread spilled over and then what does it do it infects everything this is what happens when you hold on to the guilt that somebody has harmed you with if you keep holding on to it. [00:19:12] (53 seconds) #forgiveForYourOwnPeace

When that happens it has more to do with you than the wrong they ever did because it now has consumed you and that is why god says to you forgiveness is crucial not just so you know what he has done for you but so that you can be releasing others of the guilt that they have wronged you because you yourself have received such forgiveness i forgive you changes everything i forgive you changes everything. [00:21:01] (42 seconds) #forgivenessTransformsYou

Our issues with others begin with our issue with me and with between me and god because when i recognize how much my sins cost and his love for me and his words of you are forgiven when i understand what that looks like for me and i see what that cost is that atoning sacrifice that sacrifice that payment that paid my debt and what he did for me if you oh lord kept record of sin who could stand but with you there is forgiveness removal of debt owed Payment made for you by the Father through his Son. [00:21:52] (49 seconds) #forgivenessStartsWithin

He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions. Our iniquities are those things that we do that we don't realize. The transgressions are the ones that we knowingly cross the line. He says he's removed them so far he doesn't remember them. That's how much he loves you. That's what his forgiveness does for you, that he has removed them from you. [00:22:41] (30 seconds) #loveRemovesTransgressions

He covers over a multitude of sins and grants us peace with him. Say it with me. I forgive you. I would challenge you that perhaps these are actually the hardest words to say. Because in doing so, you are absorbing that debt they owe you and saying, I'm not going to continue to hold this against you. Not for their sake, but for your sake. [00:26:44] (36 seconds) #absorbingDebtWithPeace

``To the trauma victim who endured trauma as a child and sexual assault. They can live their entire life as a victim. They can live and constantly be hearing because of all that happened or they can live in forgiving and saying, Lord, give me that new life. I cannot say that to that person because I don't know where they are, but they can live in the light of forgiveness and walk in that cycle of peace and forgiveness with God because of what he has done and what he is working in their heart. No longer living as the victim. No longer living with that person or that act, holding them captive, but knowing that God has taken care of it and God is with them and he will hold and sustain them as he has. [00:28:06] (50 seconds) #newLifeInForgiveness

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