Embracing the Sacred Role of Fatherhood

Summary

Fatherhood is a rare and profound privilege, one that carries both immense responsibility and deep joy. The journey of being a dad is not something for which anyone is ever fully prepared, but it is a calling that God walks with us through every step of the way. Our culture often undervalues the role of fathers, sometimes portraying them as expendable or out of touch, but God’s design for fatherhood is far more significant. Fathers are entrusted with the spiritual and emotional well-being of their families, called to speak life, provide security, and model godly love.

Many of us did not learn how to be fathers from our families of origin. In fact, for some, our upbringing taught us more about what not to do. Yet, God redeems every part of our story, using even the brokenness of our past to shape us into the fathers He desires us to be. The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother well, creating an environment of safety and security that allows children to flourish. This love is not just about meeting needs, but about modeling the sacrificial, steadfast love that God shows us.

Emotional health is central to a thriving family. Many men, whether through upbringing, culture, or even professions like the military or first responders, have learned to suppress their emotions. While this can be a strength in certain contexts, it can become a weakness at home. God calls fathers to expand their emotional range, to move from a black-and-white world into a world of color—one where vulnerability is not a liability, but a bridge to deeper connection. Vulnerability is the key to true connection, both with God and with our families. Our children and spouses need to know not just that we are strong, but that we are present, emotionally available, and willing to enter into their world.

Dreaming big, trusting God for more, and allowing ourselves to hope and feel deeply are all part of living out our calling as fathers. God’s plans for us are greater than we can imagine, and He desires that we would lead our families with courage, tenderness, and faith. As we reflect on our role, may we seek to please God in all we do, loving our wives, nurturing our children, and embracing the full, vibrant life He has for us.

Key Takeaways

- Fatherhood is a Sacred Trust, Not a Cultural Afterthought
Society may downplay the importance of fathers, but God has placed fathers in a position of spiritual and emotional responsibility. The influence of a father shapes the future of his children, not just through provision, but through intentional words, presence, and godly example. When fathers are undervalued or absent, families and society suffer, but when fathers embrace their God-given role, they become a source of blessing and stability. [35:13]

- God Redeems Our Family of Origin—Brokenness is Not the End
Many carry wounds or negative patterns from their upbringing, but God is a redeemer who transforms our past into something useful for His purposes. Even if your family history is marked by dysfunction or pain, God can use those experiences to teach, heal, and equip you to be a different kind of father. Redemption means that nothing is wasted; God weaves even the hardest parts of our story into His greater plan for our lives and our families. [41:20]

- The Greatest Gift to Children is Loving Their Mother Well
A father’s love for his wife creates an environment of safety and security for the whole family. This love is not just about meeting needs, but about modeling Christ’s sacrificial love, which in turn gives children a sense of stability and belonging. Prioritizing the marriage relationship, even above the children at times, sets a foundation for healthy family dynamics and teaches children what godly love looks like. [41:20]

- Emotional Availability is Essential for Healthy Fatherhood
Many men have been conditioned to suppress their emotions, seeing vulnerability as weakness. Yet, true connection with our families requires us to expand our emotional range, to be present and engaged not just physically, but emotionally. Vulnerability is not a liability; it is the very thing that forges deep bonds with our children and spouses, allowing them to feel safe, understood, and loved. [44:26]

- Dreaming and Hoping are Acts of Faith, Not Naivety
God invites us to dream big and trust Him for more than we can see. Allowing ourselves to hope, to envision a better future, and to trust God’s promises is not foolishness—it is faith in action. As fathers, we are called to model this kind of faith, encouraging our families to believe that with God, all things are possible, and that He has good plans for us, no matter our past. [44:26]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:10] - Reflections on Fatherhood and Early Experiences
[04:30] - The Privilege and Responsibility of Being a Dad
[07:15] - Stories of Family and Learning Gratitude
[10:40] - How Society Views Fathers
[13:30] - The Impact of Absent Fathers
[16:00] - Learning Fatherhood from God, Not Just Family
[19:20] - The Power of Loving Your Wife
[22:00] - God’s Redemption of Our Family Stories
[25:00] - The Importance of Safety and Security in the Home
[28:30] - Emotional Health and the Role of Fathers
[32:00] - Expanding Emotional Range and Embracing Vulnerability
[36:00] - Dreaming, Hoping, and Trusting God
[39:00] - Final Encouragements and Colossians 3:18-20
[42:00] - Closing and Blessing for Fathers

Study Guide

Small Group Bible Study Guide: The Sacred Calling of Fatherhood

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### Bible Reading

Colossians 3:18-20 (ESV)
> Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Genesis 50:20 (ESV)
> As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

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### Observation Questions

1. According to Colossians 3:18-20, what are the specific instructions given to wives, husbands, and children? How does the passage describe the relationship between these roles? [49:33]
2. In the sermon, what did the speaker say is the greatest gift a father can give his children? [41:20]
3. The sermon mentions that many people learn how to be fathers from their family of origin. What did the speaker say he learned from his own family, and where did he turn to learn about fatherhood? [39:00]
4. In Genesis 50:20, Joseph talks about God redeeming what others meant for evil. How did the speaker connect this idea of redemption to his own family story? [42:00]

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Paul instruct husbands to love their wives and not be harsh with them? What impact might this have on the family as a whole? [49:33]
2. The speaker emphasized that God redeems our family of origin, even if it was broken or dysfunctional. How does this belief shape the way someone might approach being a father or parent? [42:00]
3. The sermon suggests that emotional availability and vulnerability are essential for healthy fatherhood. Why might vulnerability be difficult for some men, and what does the speaker say is the result of embracing it? [44:26]
4. The idea of “dreaming big” and trusting God for more is described as an act of faith, not naivety. How does this perspective challenge or encourage someone in their role as a parent or spouse? [46:00]

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon says that the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother well. If you are married, what is one specific way you could show sacrificial love to your spouse this week? If you are not married, how can you support or encourage healthy marriages around you? [41:20]
2. The speaker shared that he learned more about what not to do from his family of origin. Are there patterns or habits from your own upbringing that you want to break or redeem in your family? What is one step you could take toward that this month? [39:00]
3. Emotional health was described as central to a thriving family. Have you ever found it difficult to be emotionally available at home? What is one practical way you could expand your emotional range or show vulnerability with your family this week? [44:26]
4. The sermon challenges fathers to move from a “black-and-white” world into a “world of color” emotionally. What does this look like for you personally? Is there a recent situation where you could have responded with more emotional presence? [44:26]
5. The speaker talked about dreaming big and trusting God for more. Is there an area in your family life where you have stopped hoping or dreaming? What would it look like to trust God and begin to hope again in that area? [46:00]
6. The sermon mentioned that society often undervalues the role of fathers. Have you ever felt this in your own experience? How can you encourage or affirm the fathers in your life this week? [35:13]
7. Colossians 3:18-20 lays out a vision for family relationships that pleases the Lord. What is one relationship in your family that you want to strengthen, and what is a specific action you can take to move toward that this week? [49:33]

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for fathers, for healing from past wounds, for courage to be emotionally available, and for God’s help in loving their families well.

Devotional

Day 1: The Rare Privilege and Responsibility of Fatherhood
Being a father is a unique calling, entrusted by God with both privilege and weighty responsibility. Fathers are not just placeholders or providers, but are called to be present, loving, and intentional in shaping the spiritual and emotional lives of their children. Even when feeling unprepared, a father who follows Jesus can trust that God walks with him every step of the way, offering wisdom and strength for the journey. The role of a father is deeply significant, holding a special place in both the family and society, and deserves to be honored and valued as God intended. [29:21]

Psalm 127:3-5 (ESV)
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Reflection: In what ways can you intentionally honor and embrace the privilege of fatherhood (or spiritual fatherhood) today, even if you feel unprepared or undervalued?


Day 2: The Transforming Power of Godly Fatherhood
God designed fathers to be responsible for the spiritual welfare and health of their families, and even if your own upbringing was broken or lacking, God offers redemption and a new model of fatherhood. The legacy of pain or dysfunction from your family of origin does not have to define your future; God, as the perfect Father, can teach, heal, and empower you to break cycles and build a new foundation for your children. Through His love and guidance, what was meant for harm can be turned for good, and every part of your story can be redeemed for His purposes. [41:20]

Genesis 50:20 (ESV)
As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

Reflection: What is one area of your family story or upbringing that you need to invite God to redeem and transform for the sake of your children or those you influence?


Day 3: Loving Your Wife Creates Security for Your Children
The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother well, creating an environment of safety and security in the home. When a father prioritizes his marriage and models sacrificial love, it sets the tone for the entire family, providing a foundation where children can thrive emotionally and spiritually. This love is not just about meeting needs in the moment, but about building a lasting bond that reflects God’s design for family and offers children a sense of stability and belonging. [41:20]

Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Reflection: What is one specific way you can show love and honor to your spouse today that will help create a deeper sense of security for your children?


Day 4: The Importance of Emotional Vulnerability in Fatherhood
True connection in families is built through emotional vulnerability, not just strength or stoicism. While society often trains men to suppress their emotions, especially in roles like the military or first responders, God calls fathers to expand their emotional range and engage with their families in a “color world” of feeling. Vulnerability is not weakness but strength, and it is the key to building trust, security, and deep relationships with your children and spouse. [44:26]

2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Reflection: What is one emotion you tend to hide from your family, and how could sharing it appropriately help build deeper connection and trust with them?


Day 5: God’s Blueprint for Family Health and Priorities
God’s Word lays out a clear order for healthy family life: husbands are to love their wives and not be harsh, wives are to honor their husbands, and children are to obey their parents. When fathers lead with love, humility, and a desire to please God, it brings health and balance to the home. Placing God first, loving your spouse, and guiding your children in faith creates a legacy that honors the Lord and blesses generations. [53:00]

Colossians 3:18-20 (ESV)
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

Reflection: How can you realign your family priorities this week to better reflect God’s blueprint for love, respect, and spiritual health in your home?

Quotes

One of the things I like about being a dad is that I recognize that I hold a lot of my kids' future in my ability to look in the future, to speak life into them, to speak godly things into them. And I always try to be supportive. [00:35:47] (22 seconds) Edit Clip

Fathers need to be reinstated to the important level that God intended for them. God placed them in a position of responsibility and accountability. Put them in a place where they had a, if you will, in the sense of an ownership of what it means to have a family, he placed them in a situation to have the accountability and the responsibility for the spiritual welfare of their family. [00:38:07] (29 seconds) Edit Clip

I've seen strong evidence today in our society that the moral and spiritual neglect of fathers on the children have caused great harm in our families. When a dad is undervalued, it causes a lot of havoc in the home. [00:38:35] (19 seconds) Edit Clip

As head coach in UCLA, John Wooden won 10 national championships in a 12 -year period. And his memoir is A Lifetime of Reflection on and off the court. He writes something I thought was astounding. He said that the best thing that a father can do for his children is to love their mother. And I think he's right. [00:41:20] (20 seconds) Edit Clip

But just about every relationship expert agrees. There are times when a child's needs take immediate attention. They might come first momentarily. But ultimately, in the marriage, the bond has to be of paramount importance, is the bond of marriage love, is that, you know, God has designed us to love him and to show us how to love him. And we show our family how to love God by our actions. But we show our children by how we love our wives. [00:42:05] (29 seconds) Edit Clip

But I want you to understand something I said in the first service, is that God is a God of redemption. Amen? He doesn't just redeem us for our salvation. He redeems everything in our lives. You hear me? He redeems everything. He can redeem the junk that happened in your life. He redeems it. [00:43:03] (20 seconds) Edit Clip

God, this is the idea of redemption. That's what redemption is all about. That God takes the junk of our lives, wraps it all together, makes some kind of use of it. I would not change the family I grew up in to be in another family ever. [00:43:30] (16 seconds) Edit Clip

Denial and minimization is the hallmark of all addiction. You should tweet that somewhere write that down somewhere understand that to minimize emotions is what makes alcoholics drug addicts gamblers who can't control themselves they forget they have a family at home god calls us to something different and what he does is beautiful as he redeems our lives. [00:57:46] (25 seconds) Edit Clip