Embracing the Sacred Calling of Fatherhood

Summary

Fatherhood is one of the greatest privileges God can give, and it comes with both immense joy and deep responsibility. Reflecting on the journey of raising my own children, I see how each of them is uniquely gifted and how parenting is a partnership with my wife, requiring devotion, prayer, and perseverance through both the sleepless nights and the challenging teenage years. Parenting is not for the faint of heart; it demands intentionality, consistency, and a willingness to train our children in the way they should go, not simply hoping they’ll figure it out on their own.

Ephesians 6 reminds us that children are called to obey and honor their parents, and that this command comes with a promise: that it may go well with them and they may enjoy long life. But this is not just about obedience for its own sake; it’s about cultivating respect, reverence, and a heart that is teachable. As parents, especially fathers, we are called to teach and train our children, not to exasperate them with overbearing or distant attitudes, but to nurture them in the instruction of the Lord. Our example is always on display—our children are watching how we live, how we love, and what we value most.

The culture often portrays fathers as bumbling or disengaged, but Scripture calls us to something far greater. Our goal is not to control our children or force them into our mold, but to launch them as arrows toward God’s purposes, leaving them an example of authentic faith. The greatest legacy we can leave is not material wealth or worldly success, but a life rooted in God’s Word and a heart that treasures Christ above all.

God, our heavenly Father, models perfect love for us. Even in our failures and weaknesses, His love is unfailing and generous. He gives good gifts, knows our needs, and has given us the Holy Spirit as our helper. No matter our earthly experience with our own fathers, we are invited into the embrace of a Father who never fails. Today, let’s reflect on what we love most about our dads, express our gratitude, and commit ourselves anew to loving and leading our families well, pointing them to the heart of God.

Key Takeaways

- Parenting is a sacred calling that requires intentional training, not passive hope. Children do not naturally learn obedience or respect; these must be taught through consistent example, loving discipline, and daily investment. The fruit of this labor is seen in children who honor their parents and walk in wisdom, which brings blessing to both the family and the broader community. [46:54]

- Fathers are called to nurture, not exasperate, their children. Overbearing control or emotional distance can wound a child’s spirit, while warmth, affection, and authentic engagement create an environment where children can thrive. Our children need to see us express love, humility, and vulnerability, not just authority. [50:46]

- The true goal of parenting is to launch our children toward God’s purposes, not our own ambitions. We are to point them as arrows to God’s target, modeling a life of integrity, faith, and devotion. Even if our children choose a different path, let them know exactly what they are walking away from—a genuine, lived-out faith. [53:41]

- The greatest joy in life is not found in personal achievement or material gain, but in seeing our children walk in the truth. Our priorities must reflect this reality; investing in our children’s spiritual lives is of eternal significance. If our priorities have drifted, it is never too late to realign them and plant new seeds of faith and love. [59:51]

- God’s fatherly love is the ultimate model for us. Even in our brokenness, He loves us with an unfailing, generous love, giving us what we need and inviting us into relationship with Him. Regardless of our earthly experiences, we can rest in the assurance that our heavenly Father is always present, always loving, and always faithful. [01:06:14]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[43:29] - Reflections on Fatherhood and Family
[45:15] - Memories with My Dad
[46:54] - Ephesians 6: Responsibilities of Children and Parents
[48:17] - The Consequences of Neglecting Parental Training
[49:44] - Honoring Fathers and Teaching Obedience
[50:46] - Avoiding Exasperation: The Heart of Fatherhood
[51:48] - Warmth, Affection, and the Power of Example
[52:54] - Cultural Portrayals vs. Biblical Fatherhood
[53:41] - Launching Children Toward God’s Purposes
[54:39] - The Legacy of God’s Word
[56:12] - Authentic Faith in Everyday Life
[57:41] - The Danger of Passive Parenting
[58:45] - The Greatest Joy: Children Walking in Truth
[01:01:13] - The Unique Influence of Fathers on Daughters
[01:03:55] - Making the Most of Our Time with Our Children
[01:04:55] - God’s Unfailing Fatherly Love
[01:06:14] - The Generosity and Presence of Our Heavenly Father
[01:07:30] - A Call to Action: Planting New Seeds
[01:08:06] - Expressing Love and Gratitude to Our Fathers
[01:09:30] - Closing Prayer and Blessing

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Heart of Fatherhood

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### Bible Reading

- Ephesians 6:1-4
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother'—which is the first commandment with a promise—'so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.' Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."

- Proverbs 22:6
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

- Deuteronomy 6:6-7
"These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."

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### Observation Questions

1. According to Ephesians 6:1-4, what are the specific instructions given to children and to fathers?
2. In the sermon, what are some ways the pastor described that parents (especially fathers) can exasperate their children? ([50:46])
3. What does Proverbs 22:6 say about the long-term impact of training a child?
4. How does Deuteronomy 6:6-7 describe the process of teaching children about God?

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### Interpretation Questions

1. Why does Paul connect the command for children to obey and honor their parents with a promise of well-being and long life? What does this reveal about God’s design for families? ([46:54])
2. The sermon mentions that children do not naturally learn obedience or respect. Why might intentional training and example be necessary, rather than just hoping kids “figure it out”? ([46:54])
3. What does it mean for fathers not to “exasperate” their children? How can overbearing control or emotional distance affect a child’s spirit? ([50:46])
4. The pastor said the goal of parenting is to “launch children as arrows toward God’s purposes.” What does this look like in practical terms? ([53:41])

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### Application Questions

1. The sermon challenged fathers to be present and engaged, not distant or overbearing. Think about your own experience—are there ways you have been either too distant or too controlling in your relationships with your children or others you influence? What is one step you could take to move toward warmth and authentic engagement? ([50:46])
2. The pastor shared that our children are always watching us—how we live, love, and what we value. What is one area of your life where you want to set a better example for the next generation? ([53:41])
3. Proverbs 22:6 and Deuteronomy 6:6-7 both talk about intentional training. What is one practical way you can “impress” God’s truth on your children or those you mentor this week? ([56:12])
4. The sermon said the greatest legacy is not material wealth, but a life rooted in God’s Word and a heart that treasures Christ. What are you currently prioritizing in your family or personal life? Is there something you need to realign to reflect this truth? ([59:51])
5. The pastor encouraged everyone to reflect on what they love most about their dad and to express gratitude. Who do you need to thank or encourage this week, and how will you do it? ([01:08:06])
6. For those who have experienced pain or disappointment with their earthly fathers, the sermon reminded us of God’s unfailing fatherly love. How does knowing God as a perfect Father help you process your own story? ([01:06:14])
7. The pastor said, “If your priorities have drifted, it is never too late to realign them and plant new seeds of faith and love.” What is one “seed” you want to plant in your family or relationships starting today? ([01:07:30])

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Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Invite the group to pray for fathers, parents, and spiritual mentors, asking God to help them love well, lead with integrity, and point the next generation to Christ. Pray for healing where there has been hurt, and for the courage to plant new seeds of faith and love.

Devotional

Day 1: The Blessing and Responsibility of Obedience and Honor

Children are called to obey and honor their parents, not only because it is right, but because it brings blessing and well-being into their lives. This obedience is not always easy or natural—children instinctively know how to disobey—but it is a vital part of God’s design for families. When children honor their parents, they learn respect for others and for God, and they set a foundation for a life that “may go well” with them. Take time today to consider how you show honor to your parents, regardless of your age, and how this shapes your relationship with God and others. [46:54]

Ephesians 6:1-3 (ESV)
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Reflection: Is there a specific way you can honor or thank your parents (or a parental figure) today that would show them you value their role in your life?


Day 2: Fathers, Lead with Love and Not Exasperation

Fathers are given a unique responsibility to lead their children with love, not with harshness or overbearing control. The call is to avoid exasperating children—by being distant, critical, or unaffectionate—and instead to nurture them in the training and instruction of the Lord. Children need to see warmth, affection, and genuine faith from their fathers, not just rules or discipline. Consider how your presence, words, and actions shape your children’s understanding of God’s love and character. [50:46]

Ephesians 6:4 (ESV)
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Reflection: What is one way you can intentionally show warmth and encouragement to your child (or a young person in your life) this week?


Day 3: Training Up Children Requires Intentionality and Authentic Faith

Raising children in the way they should go is an active, ongoing process that requires intentional teaching, authentic faith, and daily example. It is not enough to hope children will make the right choices when they are older; parents are called to diligently teach God’s Word and model a life of faith in every circumstance. This means living out your beliefs at home, in daily routines, and through life’s ups and downs, so that your children see what it truly means to follow Christ. [56:12]

Proverbs 22:6 (ESV)
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Reflection: What is one practical way you can incorporate God’s Word or prayer into your family’s daily routine starting today?


Day 4: The Greatest Joy: Seeing Children Walk in the Truth

There is no greater joy than to see your children walking in the truth and following Jesus. Earthly achievements, possessions, or accolades pale in comparison to the eternal significance of your children knowing and loving God. This joy is rooted in investing spiritually in your children, prioritizing their relationship with Christ above all else, and praying for their faith journey. Even if your priorities have been out of order, it is never too late to plant seeds of faith and make spiritual investment your greatest legacy. [59:51]

3 John 1:4 (ESV)
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Reflection: What is one step you can take today to encourage or support your child’s (or another young person’s) walk with Jesus?


Day 5: The Unfailing Love of Our Heavenly Father

No matter our experiences with earthly fathers, we are invited to know the perfect, unfailing love of our Heavenly Father. God’s love is steadfast, sacrificial, and generous—He gave His only Son for us, welcomes us as His children, and delights to give us good gifts. Even in our failures and weaknesses, God’s love remains constant, and He provides His Spirit to guide and comfort us. Rest today in the assurance that you are deeply loved by God, and let His love shape how you love others. [01:06:14]

John 3:16 (ESV)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Reflection: In what area of your life do you need to receive and trust God’s unfailing love as your Father today?

Quotes

Fathers, do not exasperate your children. Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Do not exasperate your children. Are your children dads? Are your children exasperated by how you raise them? Are you so thumbed down on them that they feel like they have no wiggle room whatsoever? Are you making every decision for them and controlling every thought that they have? [00:50:35] (32 seconds) Edit Clip

If my kids decide not to follow Jesus someday, I want them to know exactly what they're walking away from. Does that make sense? Nobody wants their children not to walk with the Lord. But if they don't walk with the Lord, I want them to know exactly what they're walking away from. [00:53:59] (17 seconds) Edit Clip

Are you honest? Are you filled with integrity? Is your character and your reputation above reproach? Are you leading your family well? Are your kids seeing you in church? Are your kids seeing you praying? Are your kids seeing you reading God's word? Do they know that you care about the things that matter most to God? [00:54:23] (22 seconds) Edit Clip

Proverbs 22, 6 says, train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not soon depart from it. Do you see how it says train? That first word is a verb. It's an action word. We have a responsibility. You know, the problem oftentimes in society is it's way too easy to have children. It's far too difficult to train them up in the way that they should go. But if you don't, you can bet and know exactly how that's going to go. [00:55:35] (33 seconds) Edit Clip

If your priorities are so out of whack that you think that by you working all those hours so that you can provide financially for your family, and that's more important than seeing your children come to know Jesus, your priorities are out of whack. If you're so busy doing other things that God doesn't even have a place there, how are your children going to see it? How are your children going to know that it matters to you? [01:00:24] (25 seconds) Edit Clip

Men, you have a bigger influence than you know on your kids. Dads who have daughters. Raise your hand if you're a dad who has daughters. Raise your hand if you're a dad who has daughters. I learned this a while back. But if you don't show love to your daughters, they will go and find that love somewhere else. They will go and chase that boy down until they receive the love that they think that that boy is going to give them if it doesn't come from you. [01:01:42] (38 seconds) Edit Clip

Dads, are you actively involved in your kids' lives? Remember dads, we only get about 18 summers before they go off to college or work. Let's plant that tree today. How do you want your children to remember you? Ask the question, how do you want your children to remember you? [01:03:55] (24 seconds) Edit Clip

We are pretty evil, wicked people, right? We just are. We just are. We're deadbeats, right? Adam and Eve, they ate the forbidden fruit. They knew not to, and they did. Noah, the earth was filled with evil. There were only eight people that got on that ark, right? Moses struck the rock when God told him not to strike the rock, and he did it anyway, right? He told God that he can't speak when God gave him the provisions to lead the Israelites, and he says he can't speak. Peter denies Christ three times before the cock crows. I don't know him. I don't know him. I don't know him. David sins with Bathsheba when he should have been out at battle, and he's lusting after a woman, and David is this great, mighty warrior man after God's own heart. Solomon had a thousand wives. Holy cow! That ain't good. Jonah had bitternesses in his heart. He didn't want God to spare and protect these other people. We're pretty evil, wicked people, but God's love is different. [01:04:23] (61 seconds) Edit Clip

And God loves to give, right? And I love this passage in Matthew, in Matthew 7, because the beginning of the passage says, although you are evil fathers, yet you know how to give your kids good gifts. That's how it starts. But he says, how much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask? That's God's heart. He wants to give. He wants to love. And he knows what we need. [01:06:14] (31 seconds) Edit Clip