Embracing the Sacred Call of Fatherhood

Devotional

Day 1: The Power of a Father's Presence

A father's presence and engagement profoundly shape a child's confidence, resilience, and future well-being, while absence can leave lasting wounds and vulnerabilities. When fathers are present, children are more likely to overcome obstacles, achieve academically, and build healthy relationships; when fathers withdraw, children may struggle with self-worth and face greater risks in life. The call to fatherhood is not a backup role but a vital, God-ordained responsibility that carries immense weight for generations. [30:30]

Malachi 4:5-6 (ESV)
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”

Reflection: In what specific ways can you turn your heart more fully toward your children this week, showing them your presence and attention in both words and actions?

Day 2: God’s Strength in Our Weakness

Fatherhood can feel overwhelming and expose our inadequacies, but God promises to strengthen, help, and uphold us when we reach the end of ourselves and rely on Him. When we step into the challenges of parenting, God meets us with His presence and power, equipping us to be the fathers our children need. We are not called to do this alone; God’s Spirit guides, teaches, and gives peace as we trust Him with our fears and uncertainties. [39:21]

Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Reflection: What is one area of fatherhood where you feel inadequate or afraid, and how can you invite God’s strength and presence into that place today?

Day 3: Addressing Wounds and Breaking Generational Patterns

The wounds and patterns we inherit from our fathers can be passed down unless we intentionally address them in Christ and community, seeking healing and new tools for life. God does not punish children for their fathers’ sins, but the effects of unaddressed wounds and sin can echo through generations until someone chooses to break the cycle. Embracing our identity in Christ and seeking healing—sometimes through counseling, community, and spiritual “PT”—allows us to confer blessing and wholeness to our children instead of brokenness. [53:12]

Ezekiel 18:20 (ESV)
“The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.”

Reflection: What is one wound or unhealthy pattern you recognize from your own upbringing, and what step can you take this week to seek healing and break that cycle for your family?

Day 4: Invest in Your Marriage and Model Honor

Loving your wife with intentionality and honor sets a foundation of security and resilience for your children, teaching them what love and respect look like in the home. When your marriage is prioritized and Christ-centered, your children learn from your example and are invited into a story of love, safety, and honor. Teaching your children to honor their mother—especially through your own words and actions—establishes a legacy of respect and godliness that shapes their future relationships. [01:04:02]

Proverbs 18:22 (ESV)
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

Reflection: How can you intentionally show honor and love to your wife today, both in private and in front of your children, to set a standard for your family?

Day 5: Lead by Example—Spiritually, Relationally, and in Community

True leadership in the home means going first in the hard things, modeling spiritual rhythms, relational care, and community-building for your children. Your kids will rarely do what you say, but they will do what you do—so draw near to Jesus, pray for your family, and take ownership of the emotional and relational climate in your home. Build community with other godly men, and teach your children to value connection and service, knowing that your example will shape their lives far more than your words. [01:14:38]

Deuteronomy 1:30-31 (ESV)
“The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.”

Reflection: What is one spiritual or relational practice you can begin or renew this week to lead your family by example, inviting them to follow you as you follow Christ?

Sermon Summary

Fatherhood is a sacred calling, woven deeply into the fabric of God’s design for families and communities. The presence and engagement of a father shapes not only the confidence and resilience of children, but also their ability to overcome obstacles, build healthy relationships, and thrive in every area of life. The data is clear: when fathers are present, children flourish; when they are absent, the consequences ripple through generations. But beyond statistics, Scripture calls fathers to turn their hearts toward their children, to accept, love, encourage, and support them daily. This is not a passive role or a backup plan—being a dad is a primary, God-given assignment.

The journey of fatherhood is both humbling and daunting. No one leaves the hospital with a new baby fully equipped for the task ahead. It exposes our inadequacies and brings to the surface wounds and patterns inherited from our own fathers. Yet, it is precisely at the end of ourselves that we encounter the strength and guidance of our Heavenly Father. God promises to uphold, strengthen, and guide those who step into this calling, and the Holy Spirit is our advocate, teaching and reminding us of all we need.

Addressing the wounds we carry is essential. Patterns of fathering—both healthy and broken—are passed down, often unconsciously, until someone chooses to break the cycle. Our identity, and the identity we confer on our children, must be rooted in God’s acceptance and love, not in the labels or wounds of our culture or past. Sons and daughters each have deep questions about their worth and capability, and fathers are uniquely positioned to answer those questions with affirmation, presence, and love.

Investing in marriage is foundational. A Christ-centered marriage sets the tone for the home, providing safety, resilience, and a model of love for children to emulate. Fathers must also teach their children to honor their mother, both in word and action, regardless of marital status.

Being present is more than physical proximity; it is about preparation, attention, and intentional engagement. It requires sacrifice, discipline, and the willingness to rebuild trust where absence has left gaps. Leadership in the home is not about authority, but about going first in the hard things, modeling spiritual and relational maturity, and building community for ourselves and our children.

God has gone ahead of us, caring for us as a father cares for his child. He calls us to turn our hearts to our children, to walk closely with Him, our wives, and other godly men, and to take the next step—however small—toward intentional, Christlike fatherhood.

Key Takeaways

1. The Weight of a Father’s Presence and Absence A father’s presence is a powerful force in a child’s life, shaping their confidence, resilience, and future success. Absence, on the other hand, leaves children vulnerable to insecurity, anxiety, and generational cycles of brokenness. Every moment of engagement or withdrawal carries immense weight, and fathers are called to recognize the significance of their role and step into it with intentionality. [32:40]
2. Breaking Generational Patterns and Healing Wounds The wounds and patterns we inherit from our fathers—whether of neglect, criticism, or absence—are often passed down unless we intentionally address them. Healing begins by naming and confronting these wounds in Christ and in community, allowing God to redefine our identity and equip us to father differently. This process is often painful, like spiritual physical therapy, but it is the path to freedom and generational change. [53:12]
3. Affirming Identity and Answering Deep Questions Children look to their fathers to answer foundational questions: “Am I enough? Do I have what it takes? Am I lovely? Am I worth fighting for?” Fathers have the unique opportunity to affirm their children’s worth and identity, not through performance or appearance, but through unconditional love, acceptance, and encouragement. This confers strength and security that lasts a lifetime. [54:19]
4. Prioritizing Marriage and Modeling Honor A strong, Christ-centered marriage is the cornerstone of a healthy home. Fathers are called to love their wives extravagantly, set a high standard for their children, and teach them to honor their mother in both speech and action. Even in the pain of divorce, the call remains to model honor, not because the other parent is always honorable, but because God is, and He desires to form honorable children through us. [64:02]
5. Leading by Example and Building Community True leadership in the home is not about control, but about going first in sacrifice, humility, and spiritual pursuit. Fathers are to be spiritual and relational leaders, drawing near to Jesus, praying for their families, and building rhythms of connection. Building community with other godly men is essential, as isolation breeds stagnation, but shared wisdom and accountability foster growth and maturity for both fathers and their children.

** [76:36]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[30:30] - The Impact of Engaged Fathers
[32:40] - Ancient Practices and the Call to Raise Children
[34:44] - Malachi’s Warning and God’s Remedy
[36:44] - God’s Design and the Humbling Call of Fatherhood
[39:21] - God’s Strength for Inadequate Fathers
[41:38] - Five Types of Fathers
[44:38] - Inheriting Tools and Wounds from Our Fathers
[51:12] - Four Steps for Intentional Fatherhood
[53:12] - Addressing Wounds and Identity
[57:20] - Healing in Christ and Community
[62:11] - Investing in Marriage and Teaching Honor
[66:59] - Showing Up and Being Present
[73:50] - Leading by Example in the Home
[79:45] - God’s Heart for Fathers and Next Steps
[81:43] - Closing Prayer and Encouragement

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Malachi 4:5-6 (ESV) — > “Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.”

Isaiah 41:10 (ESV) — > “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Deuteronomy 1:30-31 (ESV) — > “The Lord your God who goes before you will himself fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your eyes, and in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.”

Observation Questions

In Malachi 4:5-6, what does God say will happen if fathers do not turn their hearts to their children?
According to the sermon, what are some of the practical consequences for children when fathers are absent or disengaged? [[30:30]]
In Isaiah 41:10, what promises does God make to those who feel inadequate or afraid in their calling?
What are some of the “tools” and “wounds” that fathers can inherit from their own dads, as described in the sermon? [[47:09]]

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think God places such importance on the relationship between fathers and children in Malachi 4:5-6? What might be the impact on families and communities if this is ignored? [[34:44]]
The sermon describes fatherhood as both humbling and daunting. How does Isaiah 41:10 speak to the fears and inadequacies fathers might feel? [[39:21]]
The sermon talks about breaking generational patterns and healing wounds. Why is it important to address these wounds in Christ and in community, rather than alone? [[57:20]]
How does a father’s affirmation (or lack of it) shape a child’s sense of identity and worth, according to the sermon? [[54:19]]

Application Questions

The sermon says, “Every moment of engagement or withdrawal carries immense weight.” Think about your own experience—are there moments where you’ve seen the impact of a father’s presence or absence in your life or someone else’s? How did it shape you? [[30:30]]
The pastor shared about inheriting both tools and wounds from his own father. What is one “tool” or positive trait you received from your dad or another father figure? What is one “wound” or negative pattern you want to address and not pass on? [[47:09]]
Malachi calls fathers to “turn their hearts” to their children. What is one practical way you can be more intentionally present with your kids (or with young people in your life) this week? [[32:40]]
The sermon emphasizes investing in marriage and modeling honor, even in difficult situations like divorce. If you are married, what is one way you can show honor to your spouse this week, especially in front of your children? If you are not married, how can you encourage honor in your family relationships? [[01:04:02]]
The pastor talked about the need to “address your wounds in Christ and in community.” Is there a wound or struggle from your past that you need to bring into the light with God or with trusted friends? What is one step you can take toward healing? [[57:20]]
The sermon challenges fathers to lead by example, not just by words. What is one area where you want to “go first” in your family—whether it’s apologizing, praying together, or building community? [[01:16:36]]
The pastor said, “God has gone ahead of us, caring for us as a father cares for his child.” How does knowing this change the way you approach your own role as a parent, spouse, or mentor? [[01:01:35]]

Sermon Clips

Children with present and engaged fathers develop greater self-confidence, a sense that difficult obstacles can be overcome, and even after correcting for a huge variety of socioeconomic factors, academic achievement is higher when dad's around. The likelihood of dropping out of high school is cut in half if dad is around. Children are 45% less likely to repeat a grade, 60% less likely to be suspended or expelled. They're twice as likely to go to college or find stable employment after high school. They're less likely to be victims of violence or abuse. They more easily build healthy and trusting relationships in their adult lives. 85% of incarcerated teens do not have a father in their home. Dads matter. If you're a dad here, you matter. [00:30:36]

Being a father isn't about jumping in when mom needs a break. You are not parenting plan B. You're not the backup quarterback. You're not Jarrett Stidham, right? You are dad with a capital D. Your value to nearly every aspect of your kids' lives. And their adult lives later on is really, really clearly enumerated in the data. And your call is clearly spelled out in the scriptures. Dads matter. You matter. [00:32:09]

Our kids need to be raised. They need to be accepted, loved, encouraged, and supported by their dads every day. Or we leave them vulnerable to be devoured by our world. [00:33:44]

Everything we see in the data makes it abundantly clear that when fathers are absent, when fathers are not turned towards their children, bad things happen. Families, communities, nations are all at risk of descending into evil and chaos. And the remedy, God tells us, is for fathers to turn their hearts to their children. Dads, you matter. You are chosen and called to disciple your kids. [00:35:42]

God wanted to make this little human. He wanted him or her to have certain attributes and proclivities, and God matched them up with your DNA and decided that you would be the father they need and they would be the son or daughter that you need all to accomplish his purpose of bringing you both more fully into maturity of faith that you would draw near to him, know him, and glorify him. It's humbling, and it's a little bit scary, quite honestly. [00:36:55]

If you really want to be the kind of father that our father calls us to be, buckle up. It's hard, it's scary, it's confusing, it's uncomfortable. It will cause you to confront all sorts of sin that you have tamped down in that soul. It will expose you. On my own, I'm wholly inadequate, but when you find the end of yourself, that's where you find your heavenly father. And with him, dads, you absolutely have what it takes to be the kind of dad that he wants you to be. [00:38:42]

So as we've moved through this series, I've heard from a number of people. Amanda mentioned it this morning, these whispers of shame and failure as parents. And I just want to flag that, that that is not of God. That is of the enemy, right? Every time, shame and failure is not of God. But if you hear those whispers this morning, I want you just to like say out loud, stop. [00:40:05]

The involved father tries really hard to be a good dad, but where he trips up, he fails to ask the right questions. He fails to deeply know his kids, and he fails to understand why God gave those kids to him. The intentional father wants to deeply know his kids and understand why God put them here in this home. He's interested in spiritually forming them and preparing them for life. [00:42:45]

We gather tools along the way, right? We gather parenting tools along the way. We get a lot of them from our dad, hopefully. Maybe some from a grandfather or an uncle or other men in our life when we're kids. Maybe along the way, you encountered some good men, and you learned some tools from them. My dad gave me lots of tools to navigate life. [00:47:27]

Christian author and counselor John Eldridge has written extensively about the kinds of wounds that every man carries. Not because we all had terrible parents. Maybe you had amazing parents. But you still carry the wounds of imperfect people who are just trying to figure it out. Or from a culture, from a world, which is just built to twist you and tear you down and crush you. And your kids, dads, will carry some wounds. Even as you imperfectly do your very, very best to prepare them for life. [00:49:38]

Patterns of father involvement and the quality of father-child relationships, here it is, tend to be passed down across generations. In Deuteronomy 20, the first of the Ten Commandments says, have no other gods before me. And then it continues with this statement that God visits the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation. Now when you read that, it'd be really easy to conclude that God punishes children for what the dads did. And in Ezekiel 18, God makes very clear, you do not punish children based on the sins of their father. So maybe what we can take away from this is that when fathers pass on their wounds, when fathers pass on the effects of their sin, that carries on for generations. We experience the result of generational sin. We experience generational destruction. We experience generational woundedness. Until someone says, stop, and addresses their wounds and the sin that follows it. [00:52:01]

Our culture holds up certain qualities and struggles and brands you with them. That's your identity. That's who you are. That's the label that you have to live into. But God says your identity is in him. God says your identity is that he accepts you, that he raises you, that he loves you. You get to take on God's identity. You do not have to take on our culture's identity. [00:53:29]

Dads, that's what they're looking to you for. And you'll hear questions verbalized like, am I strong enough? Am I fast enough? Am I brave enough? When your son says, dad, watch this. That's what he's asking. Do I have what it takes to be a man? And in that moment, you have an opportunity to raise him, to accept him, to validate him, to encourage him, to strengthen his soul. In that moment, you also have the ability to confer criticism or fear. [00:54:44]

So whether it's the tea party, or rock climbing, seek out the opportunities to spend that time one-on-one with your daughters to express love, value, and acceptance. And again, dads, if you're married, ask your wife, if you dare, what does she need from me? Your wife knows what she needs from you. We address our wounds in Christ and in community, and there we receive healing and correction. [00:56:59]

You're going to go through a stage if you go to this like spiritual PT with God and with some other men where it just like hurts and hurts and hurts. And you're going to have some stages where you experience the comfort of God, like rests between sets or rests between intervals if you're a runner. But the healing isn't in the work, isn't in the rest. It's in the work, right? We can't just like sit on the couch and hope that God does something with me. And God's strength and healing is going to be most evident when we come to the end of ourselves. We push as far as we can push on our own, and then we discover what God can do with us. [00:58:46]

You have to invest in your marriage. You have to put your wife first. Love your wife, outlandishly so. Adore your wife. Set a sky-high standard for your kids of what it means for a man to love a woman. The story of your home is you, your wife, and God. Those kids are passing through. Your wife is a gift to you. [01:01:52]

It's really easy to let our kids become the center of the home, where they are dictating everything that goes on in our house. And it's your marriage that suffers. And when your Christ-centered marriage defines the home, your children are in front of them, and they're invited into that story. They learn what love looks like. They experience safety. They develop resilience because their home is rock solid. They learn what kind of story they want to go live. [01:02:31]

Part of investing in your marriage is to teach your kids to honor their mother. The fifth commandment, children, honor your father and mother. And this commandment is given to little tiny humans with partially formed brains that have not yet developed any wisdom, any sense of relationships, any maturity whatsoever. So what's implicit in that is that you have to teach your kids to honor their father and mother. Dads, you have to teach your children to honor their mother. You are the one to establish and insist on this value. You don't just hope it happens. You establish boundaries. You hold your kids accountable to that standard. [01:04:02]

Show up and be present. Super simple, right? Be where they are. Prepare yourself. Be where they are. And pay attention. I have to be prepared if I want to show up for my family. If I am not spending time with God, if I am not taking care of this body and mind by being careful what I put in it and what I do with it, I don't show up well for my family. If just plain old Mark comes in the door, that's not good for anybody. I have to be prepared. I have to be prepared by God. I have to take responsibility for my body and mind. Or I won't show up well. [01:07:05]

Pay attention. Ask questions. Learn your kids' hearts. Find out what they love. Spend dedicated time with each of your kids. Turn your hearts to your children, Malachi said. Know them, understand them. Begin to figure out how you partner with God to form them into the men and women that they're supposed to be. Put the phone down. Turn off the game. When your kids or your wife, or honestly, if anybody, walks in the room, pay them the dignity of a little eye contact, an acknowledgement of presence. [01:09:02]

If you've not been fully engaged and attentive as a husband and father and then you decide you're going to do that differently and you suddenly start trying to like show up, you're going to feel like you're in the way. And here's why. Your wife and children have already made adjustments to compensate for your absence. They have built systems of how they do their life based on you not being there. Not because it's better, but because they have to live their lives. So when you suddenly walk into this space, you're going to feel like you don't know what's going on. You're going to feel like nobody cares that I'm here, that I'm just in the way. And then you're going to get up and do it again. And then you're going to get up and do it again. And if you stay at it every day, you begin to develop trust. And you get the opportunity to begin to dismantle those systems and build something new. It's going to take a while. You're going to have to earn that trust and earn the place in that space. [01:10:46]

Leadership has absolutely nothing to do with telling people what to do. Just so we're all clear. Right? How many of you ever listen to leadership podcasts? Read a leadership book? Have people that do that? Yes. Awesome. Good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has nothing to do with telling people what to do. It's about willing to go first in the hard stuff and last in the fun stuff. That's it. Simple, right? Not easy, but simple. Our kids will rarely do what we say. A wise man once told me, but they will do what you do. So be a spiritual leader in your home. Draw near to Jesus. [01:14:07]

Tell your kids that you're praying for them. Ask them what you can pray for them about. It communicates that you care about their life. It communicates that God cares about the stuff in their life. So be a spiritual leader in your home. [01:15:55]

We want to be the first to apologize, to extend love and grace. We want to notice when our kids are up and down. Ask them why. Care about the things that they find challenging. We want to take ownership of the chaos that exists in our lives and in our families. Routinely stop. Look back over the previous few weeks and interrogate your calendar. What made your family busy but really added no value to your lives? What increased chaos at the expense of connection? [01:16:57]

Men, right now, statistically, we suck at this. We're terrible at building community. Most of us don't feel like you have somebody that you could call in a crisis or for wise advice. If you don't have close, values-based friendships, neither will your sons. Our culture has eroded the institutions where men used to go to connect with other men and learn how to do life together, where we could be transparent and develop maturity and values and get direction. Now you have to go hunt for it. [01:17:59]

God is working on your heart. God wants to form you into something new. God wants to form you into the kind of father that he is. I'm going to remind you of this Deuteronomy text that we read earlier. The Lord your God is going ahead of you. He has paved the way for you. He will fight for you. We saw how the Lord your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness just as a father cares for his child. And now he has brought you to this place. This is our God. This is his heart for you. God has brought you to this place. And now God commands fathers to turn their hearts to their children. Turn your focus. Turn your attention. Turn your attention. Turn your attention. Love your children. Be present. Build a home for them. Raise them. Simba. Look forward to what God has for your future. Know that he will fight for you and has cared for you all along the way. [01:19:52]

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