Embracing the Five A's for Meaningful Relationships

 

Summary

We are all created with an intrinsic drive for significance and purpose, designed to contribute to something greater than ourselves. This sense of purpose is most profoundly realized through the impact we have on others. Our lives gain meaning when we enhance, bless, and improve the lives of those around us. This is a core aspect of our identity and personhood. Psychologist David Rico identifies five primary needs or dynamics that foster flourishing relationships, all beginning with the letter "A": attention, acceptance, affection, appreciation, and allowing.

Attention is the first need, where we feel noticed and observed. In our fast-paced world, often referred to as the attention economy, it is easy to be only dimly present. Yet, Jesus exemplified the power of attention by noticing those whom society overlooked, such as lepers and children. This attention is a reflection of God's nature, as He watches over us with care and love.

Acceptance follows attention. Every encounter with another person involves a subtle charge of acceptance or rejection. We are sensitive to this dynamic, always seeking acceptance. The Apostle Paul encourages us to accept one another as Christ accepted us, fostering a community of inclusion and love.

Affection is the third need, where we express care and value for others. We have a deep-seated need to be liked and cherished. Jesus demonstrated affection by calling His disciples friends and showing love to those He encountered. Believing that God is fond of us can sometimes be challenging, yet it is a profound truth of our faith.

Appreciation involves expressing gratitude and recognizing the value in others. This practice is transformative, as it not only uplifts others but also enriches our own lives. Stories of lives changed through simple acts of appreciation remind us of its power.

Finally, allowing is about granting freedom and permission to others. It involves creating a safe space for people to express themselves and take risks. In God's kingdom, we are not confined by rules but are set free to become people who naturally desire to do good.

These five "A's" are essential for meaningful relationships and personal growth. While we cannot expect to receive all of them from others, we can find them in God, who watches, accepts, loves, appreciates, and allows us to live fully. As we embrace these dynamics, we are empowered to offer them to others, fulfilling our purpose and making our lives count.

Key Takeaways:

1. Attention as a Divine Attribute: Attention is a fundamental human need, and Jesus exemplified this by noticing those whom society ignored. This reflects God's nature, as He attentively watches over us, offering a model for how we should engage with others. [03:19]

2. Acceptance and Inclusion: Acceptance is a powerful force that shapes our interactions. We are called to accept one another as Christ accepted us, fostering a community of love and inclusion. This acceptance combats shame and exclusion, offering healing and belonging. [04:00]

3. Affection and God's Fondness: Affection is about expressing care and value for others. Jesus demonstrated this by calling His disciples friends and showing love to those He met. Believing in God's fondness for us can be challenging, yet it is a profound truth that transforms our relationship with Him. [06:22]

4. Appreciation's Transformative Power: Appreciation involves recognizing and valuing others, which can profoundly impact lives. Simple acts of appreciation can change trajectories, as seen in stories of lives transformed by gratitude and recognition. [07:58]

5. Allowing and Freedom in God's Kingdom: Allowing is about granting freedom and permission, creating a safe space for expression and growth. In God's kingdom, we are not confined by rules but are set free to become people who naturally desire to do good, reflecting God's heart for us. [10:42]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:30] - Created for Significance
- [00:43] - Impact on Others
- [01:10] - Five Needs in Relationships
- [01:51] - The Need for Attention
- [02:49] - Jesus' Attention to Others
- [03:32] - God's Watchful Care
- [04:00] - The Need for Acceptance
- [05:31] - Expressing Affection
- [06:38] - The Power of Appreciation
- [08:14] - Allowing and Freedom
- [09:24] - Dysfunctional Organizations
- [10:29] - God's Kingdom and Freedom
- [11:11] - Finding Needs in God
- [11:52] - Offering the Five A's to Others

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. Romans 15:7 - "Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God."
2. Psalm 121:7-8 - "The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
3. Genesis 2:19 - "Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name."

---

Observation Questions:

1. According to the sermon, what are the five primary needs or dynamics that foster flourishing relationships? ([01:10])

2. How does Jesus exemplify the power of attention, and what does this reveal about God's nature? ([03:19])

3. What is the significance of acceptance in our interactions, and how does the Apostle Paul encourage us to practice it? ([04:00])

4. How does the story of the man who appreciated Broadway shows illustrate the transformative power of appreciation? ([07:58])

---

Interpretation Questions:

1. In what ways does the sermon suggest that attention is a reflection of God's nature, and how might this understanding impact our daily interactions? ([03:32])

2. How does the concept of acceptance combat shame and exclusion, and what role does it play in fostering a community of love and inclusion? ([04:55])

3. The sermon mentions that believing in God's fondness for us can be challenging. Why might this be difficult for some, and how can this belief transform our relationship with God? ([06:22])

4. How does the idea of allowing and granting freedom align with the concept of God's kingdom, and what implications does this have for personal growth and expression? ([10:42])

---

Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a recent interaction where you felt truly noticed. How did that attention impact you, and how can you offer similar attention to others in your life? ([03:19])

2. Think of a time when you felt excluded or rejected. How did that experience affect you, and what steps can you take to ensure others feel accepted in your community? ([04:00])

3. Consider someone in your life who might need to feel God's affection. What practical steps can you take to express care and value for them this week? ([06:22])

4. Identify a person whose efforts or presence you often overlook. How can you show appreciation for them in a meaningful way this week? ([07:58])

5. Reflect on an area of your life where you feel restricted or confined. How can embracing the concept of allowing and freedom help you grow in that area? ([10:42])

6. How can you incorporate the practice of gratitude into your daily routine, and what impact do you anticipate this will have on your relationships? ([06:38])

7. In what ways can you offer the five "A's" (attention, acceptance, affection, appreciation, allowing) to someone in your life today? How might this fulfill your sense of purpose and significance? ([11:52])

Devotional

Day 1: Divine Attention as a Model for Engagement
Attention is a fundamental human need, and Jesus exemplified this by noticing those whom society ignored. This reflects God's nature, as He attentively watches over us, offering a model for how we should engage with others. In a world where distractions abound, being fully present with others is a rare and precious gift. Jesus' interactions with those marginalized by society, such as lepers and children, demonstrate the transformative power of genuine attention. By following His example, we can offer others the dignity and value that come from being truly seen and heard. [03:19]

Psalm 33:13-15 (ESV): "The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds."

Reflection: Who in your life might feel overlooked or ignored? How can you intentionally give them your full attention today?


Day 2: Acceptance as a Foundation for Community
Acceptance is a powerful force that shapes our interactions. We are called to accept one another as Christ accepted us, fostering a community of love and inclusion. This acceptance combats shame and exclusion, offering healing and belonging. In every encounter, there is a subtle charge of acceptance or rejection, and we are sensitive to this dynamic. By embracing others as Christ embraced us, we create a space where people feel valued and included, reflecting the inclusive nature of God's love. [04:00]

Romans 15:7 (ESV): "Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God."

Reflection: Is there someone you struggle to accept? What steps can you take to extend Christ-like acceptance to them today?


Day 3: Affection as an Expression of God's Fondness
Affection is about expressing care and value for others. Jesus demonstrated this by calling His disciples friends and showing love to those He met. Believing in God's fondness for us can be challenging, yet it is a profound truth that transforms our relationship with Him. Affection is not just about physical expressions but also about the warmth and kindness we show in our interactions. By recognizing and embracing God's fondness for us, we can extend that same affection to others, creating deeper and more meaningful connections. [06:22]

Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV): "The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing."

Reflection: How can you show genuine affection to someone in your life today, reflecting God's fondness for them?


Day 4: The Transformative Power of Appreciation
Appreciation involves recognizing and valuing others, which can profoundly impact lives. Simple acts of appreciation can change trajectories, as seen in stories of lives transformed by gratitude and recognition. When we express gratitude and acknowledge the contributions of others, we not only uplift them but also enrich our own lives. This practice of appreciation can lead to a culture of encouragement and positivity, where people feel motivated and valued. [07:58]

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV): "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Reflection: Who in your life can you express appreciation to today? What specific qualities or actions can you acknowledge in them?


Day 5: Allowing Freedom in God's Kingdom
Allowing is about granting freedom and permission, creating a safe space for expression and growth. In God's kingdom, we are not confined by rules but are set free to become people who naturally desire to do good, reflecting God's heart for us. This freedom is not about chaos but about the liberty to explore, grow, and express our true selves in a supportive environment. By allowing others the freedom to be themselves, we foster creativity, innovation, and genuine relationships. [10:42]

Galatians 5:13 (ESV): "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."

Reflection: In what ways can you create a safe space for someone to express themselves freely today? How can you encourage their growth and exploration?

Quotes


We were designed to have a sense of purpose to be able to contribute to something greater than ourselves that is a core clue to our identity and personhood and we all do that in many, many ways as we're creative as we work as we think as we study as we play. [00:00:26]

Attention to have somebody notice us to observe to watch us closely when a little child is born with a baby we do this automatically she drank three ounces in this feeding she now weighs nine pounds it is by paying attention to a baby that they discover that they are a person. [00:01:40]

One of the most remarkable aspects of Jesus is his ability to pay attention to people and the way that he would notice everybody particularly noticed people that other folks would ignore or overlook that was part of the good news of the reality of the kingdom he would notice lepers. [00:03:13]

Always when we encounter another person there is a tiny little charge inside of us of acceptance and blessing a little orientation of the will that is positive or that is negative towards rejection or exclusion and we are exquisitely sensitive to this it can be easily manipulated. [00:04:00]

We are to express the fact that we are for people and we value them and we care about them and we like them we have a deep need to be liked in middle school this is kind of the basic message that will get passed in a particular place to that particular special person. [00:05:35]

Of all five a's this is the one that is sometimes the hardest for me to believe about God that God is fond of me and then that leads to yet another a and that is our need for appreciation to be grateful and to receive gratitude from other people is deeply wired into us. [00:06:21]

I was listening quite recently to a story on NPR of a man who grew up in a very religious very conservative religious background and because of his sexuality he experienced a lot of pain and a lot of rejection he ended up moving going to New York City had no money. [00:06:55]

He loved Broadway he loved musicals and so he would get standing room only tickets for 20 bucks to all he could afford and after he done this for some time he came out of one show and a guy said I was looking at you and you look like you appreciated this show. [00:07:14]

We need to be given permission we need freedom we need to be able to take risks we need to have a safe place to say what it is that we genuinely think or feel and I think about this when God created human beings and then said now you can exercise dominion. [00:08:11]

Instead of being given freedom and being valued as a person with my own little kingdom I am manipulated or intimidated or coerced and treated as a cog in the machine and not able to express kingdom I remember at the church that I used to be in Chicago. [00:09:28]

A lot of people think of God that way the gods were thought of in that way in the ancient world but Jesus came to tell us of another kind of God with another kind of heart who humbles himself and loves and serves and and his will for your life is not that you be confined. [00:10:25]

God today is watching you and God accepts you God is very fond of you God is the God of gratitude and appreciation and God will allow you to live today so now you're made to count you know these five eighths a's offer them to somebody else today as God leads you. [00:11:27]

Chatbot

  • I'm an AI bot trained specifically on the sermon from Aug 26, 2022. Do you have any questions about it?

Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?