Embracing Solitude: The Power of Self-Care

Devotional

Day 1: Don’t Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today

Opportunities are often missed when we delay acting on our instincts or desires, convincing ourselves that there will be a better time. Sometimes, the moment we feel prompted to do something is the very moment we should act, rather than waiting and risking the chance passing us by. Trusting your gut and seizing the day can lead to experiences and memories you might otherwise miss. Don’t let hesitation or overthinking rob you of the joy and fulfillment that comes from living in the present and following through on what you know you want or need. [22:11]

Ecclesiastes 11:4 (ESV)
He who observes the wind will not sow, and he who regards the clouds will not reap.

Reflection: What is one thing you’ve been putting off that you could take action on today, even if it feels uncomfortable or inconvenient?

Day 2: Prioritizing Yourself Is Not Selfish

Taking time for yourself, especially as someone who constantly serves others, is not an act of selfishness but a necessary step toward wholeness and well-being. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that your worth is tied to how much you do for others, but true self-care means recognizing your own needs and honoring them. Whether it’s a birthday, a weekend, or just a quiet moment, you deserve to rest, recharge, and celebrate yourself without guilt or apology. [18:57]

Mark 6:31 (ESV)
And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat.

Reflection: When was the last time you intentionally set aside time just for yourself, and how can you make space for that this week?

Day 3: Let Go of the Ego—Life Goes On Without You

It’s easy to believe that everything will fall apart if you’re not constantly in control, but this mindset is rooted in ego, not truth. Releasing the need to be indispensable allows you to experience freedom and humility, and it gives others the chance to grow and contribute as well. Life continues with or without your constant oversight, and learning to trust that can bring peace and a healthier sense of self. [25:46]

Romans 12:3 (ESV)
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.

Reflection: In what area of your life do you struggle to let go of control, and how might releasing it bring you more peace?

Day 4: Honest Communication Builds Stronger Relationships

Understanding and articulating your own needs is essential for healthy relationships, whether with a partner, family, or friends. When you clearly communicate what you want and expect, you create space for mutual respect and understanding, rather than resentment or confusion. It’s never too late to have these conversations, and doing so can lead to deeper connection and growth for everyone involved. [25:13]

Ephesians 4:25 (ESV)
Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Reflection: Is there a conversation you’ve been avoiding with someone close to you about your needs or boundaries? What’s one step you can take to start that dialogue?

Day 5: True Self-Care Sometimes Feels Uncomfortable

Prioritizing your own well-being doesn’t always feel good in the moment—sometimes it means making hard choices, saying no, or doing things that challenge your comfort zone. But real self-care is about doing what’s best for you in the long run, not just what feels good right now. Embracing discomfort for the sake of growth and health is a powerful act of self-love and sets an example for those around you. [27:09]

Hebrews 12:11 (ESV)
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Reflection: What is one area where you need to choose long-term well-being over short-term comfort, and how can you take a step in that direction today?

Sermon Summary

Sometimes, the most meaningful celebrations are the ones we spend in our own company, honoring the person we are and the journey we’ve traveled. Choosing to spend a birthday alone on the beach, away from the daily demands of motherhood and partnership, is not about neglecting loved ones but about intentionally making space for self-care and reflection. There is a unique freedom in celebrating oneself without the pressure to serve others, even for just a day. This is not selfishness, but a necessary act of self-preservation and gratitude for the life God has given.

It’s easy, especially as mothers and caregivers, to believe that everything will fall apart if we step away, even briefly. But this belief is often rooted in ego, not truth. Our families and communities are more resilient than we think, and sometimes, letting go is the healthiest thing we can do for everyone involved. By stepping back, we allow others to step up, and we remind ourselves that our worth is not measured by constant service, but by the fullness of who we are.

There is also wisdom in listening to our inner voice and acting on it without delay. Opportunities can be fleeting, and sometimes the only thing standing between us and a joyful experience is hesitation. Trusting that gut feeling, whether it’s about taking a ride on a jet ski or making a life change, is a way of honoring the Spirit’s gentle nudges.

Self-care is not a luxury, but a responsibility. It’s about making choices that honor our bodies, our minds, and our spirits, even when those choices are uncomfortable or countercultural. Whether it’s booking a cleaning service, returning to the gym, or simply taking a quiet walk on the beach, these acts of self-love ripple outwards, blessing those around us as well.

Ultimately, life continues with or without our constant oversight. The challenge is to trust that, to release the need for control, and to embrace the joy and rest that God offers. In doing so, we become better parents, partners, and people—living testimonies of grace, balance, and courage.

Key Takeaways

1. True self-care sometimes means stepping away from the roles and responsibilities that define us, even if only for a day. By intentionally creating space to rest and celebrate ourselves, we honor the image of God within us and model healthy boundaries for those we love. [17:03]
2. The belief that everything depends on us is often rooted in ego, not reality. Letting go of this mindset allows others to grow and reminds us that our value is not tied to constant productivity or service. Humility is found in trusting that life will go on, and that’s a liberating truth. [25:46]
3. Acting on our inner promptings is a spiritual discipline. When we delay or second-guess ourselves, we can miss out on blessings and opportunities. Trusting that “gut feeling” is often trusting the Spirit’s guidance in our lives. [22:11]
4. Self-care is not always comfortable or easy. Prioritizing our health, rest, and well-being may require difficult choices and honest self-reflection, but these are acts of stewardship over the life God has entrusted to us. [26:53]
5. Our worth is not measured by how much we do for others, but by our willingness to be present with ourselves and with God. Embracing solitude, even briefly, can reveal areas where we need healing, growth, and deeper trust in God’s provision. [26:20]
** [26:20]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[15:06] - Why I Celebrate My Birthday All Month
[15:52] - Family Logistics and Choosing Solo Time
[16:45] - The Freedom of Celebrating Alone
[17:26] - Mother’s Day and Setting Boundaries
[18:25] - Embracing Rest and Not Serving Others
[18:43] - Encouragement for Busy Mothers
[19:32] - The Jet Ski Adventure: Asking for What You Want
[21:41] - Lessons from Missed Opportunities
[22:59] - Returning Home and Self-Care
[23:29] - Fitness, Self-Image, and Motivation
[23:55] - Safety, Solitude, and Travel Choices
[24:32] - What We Owe Others (and What We Don’t)
[25:46] - The Ego Trap and Letting Go
[26:53] - Prioritizing Yourself Isn’t Always Easy
[27:59] - Final Reflections and Farewell

Bible Study Guide

Bible Reading

Mark 6:30-32 — The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.

2. Psalm 46:10
“Be still, and know that I am God.”

3. Galatians 6:4-5
Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.

Observation Questions

In Mark 6:30-32, what does Jesus notice about the disciples’ situation, and what does he invite them to do?
According to the sermon, what are some specific reasons the speaker chose to celebrate her birthday alone? [[16:45]]
What does Psalm 46:10 command us to do, and how does that relate to the idea of solitude?
In the sermon, what is described as the difference between self-care and selfishness? [[17:03]]

Interpretation Questions

Why do you think Jesus prioritized rest for his disciples, even when there were still many needs around them? How does this challenge our own ideas about constant service?
The speaker mentions that the belief “everything will fall apart if we step away” is rooted in ego, not truth. What does this mean, and how might it show up in our own lives? [[25:46]]
How does listening to our “gut feeling” or inner voice connect to the idea of honoring the Spirit’s guidance? [[22:11]]
The sermon says, “Our worth is not measured by how much we do for others, but by our willingness to be present with ourselves and with God.” What does it look like to live this out practically? [[26:20]]

Application Questions

When was the last time you intentionally took time away from your normal responsibilities to rest or reflect? What was the result? If you haven’t, what holds you back? [[17:03]]
The speaker talks about the pressure to always be “on” as a mom or partner. In what areas of your life do you feel like things would fall apart if you stepped away? How can you challenge that belief this week? [[25:46]]
Is there a “gut feeling” or inner prompting you’ve been ignoring—maybe something you want to try, a boundary you need to set, or a change you want to make? What would it look like to act on it this week? [[22:11]]
The sermon mentions that self-care is not always comfortable or easy. What is one uncomfortable but necessary act of self-care you could commit to this month? [[26:53]]
The speaker says, “You don’t owe anybody anything,” except for the basic responsibilities you’ve agreed to. Are there areas where you’re overextending yourself out of guilt or ego? What’s one step you could take to set a healthier boundary? [[24:32]]
How do you model healthy boundaries and self-care for those around you, especially children or people you lead? What’s one way you could improve in this area?
The speaker reflects on missed opportunities because of hesitation. Can you think of a recent opportunity you missed because you hesitated? What can you do differently next time? [[22:11]]

Sermon Clips

I believe that birthdays, Mother's Days, the days where you're celebrating the work that you do in the person that you are shouldn't also be days that you serve other people. Like that's my opinion. I don't want to serve nobody on my birthday. That means I don't want to wipe no snotty noses. I don't want to have to worry about what y'all going to eat. I don't want to have to wake nobody up. I don't want to have to do any of that on my birthday. [00:16:55]

Had my kids been here on the trip with me, even though it was my birthday, I still would have had to be mom. I love being a mom, but I don't want to be mom on my birthday. And even if my husband would have came with me, and I'm just keeping it real. Ladies, y'all going, if you if you know what men need, you going to feel me. [00:17:37]

Even though it would have been my birthday trip, even though I enjoy being physical and having love, you know, good sexual experiences with my husband. Hope that's not TMI. On my birthday, I still would have had to serve him. Let's keep it a real. These are things I don't want to talk about. And I'm telling you, I don't want to have to serve nobody on my birthday. [00:18:01]

That is why I'm by myself on my birthday. And I love this. I love this for me. I love this life for me. And I hope that it inspires and encourages you, this busy working mother who does so much for so many people, to put yourself first. It don't have to be a birthday. It could just be a weekend where you want to get away. I think you should do that for yourself. [00:18:36]

It don't have to be a a birthday. It could be just a weekend where you get away and you don't deal with the demands of being a mom. Do that for yourself. If you get nothing else from me in my 41 years of life, I hope that that inspires you. That's it. I'm going to go enjoy the last few hours of my time here in Aruba. [00:18:57]

So, the moral of that story, y'all, is I should have did that yesterday. So, when I got here just now, you heard he was like, "If you come later in the day, we can work something out." Yesterday, I wanted to do this. Yesterday, I was just on the beach literally for 4 hours doing nothing. And I said to myself, I should I should I should ask to do the thing. [00:21:41]

Had I did it yesterday, I would have been able to get the free ride. So the moral to that story is don't put off till tomorrow what you could do today. Like follow that goddamn gut, girl. Because had I followed my gut and did what I said I was going to do yesterday, I'd be on a I would already been on the back of a jet ski. [00:21:52]

But anyway, it's okay. I got great pictures. He was super nice. And I get it. He's like, "Girl, the mileage, the gas got to it got to equal up. It got to make sense." So, yeah, it's all good. Shout out to them. And I'm just walking the beach. I have about an hour before I have to go back to my hotel. [00:22:27]

Just take care of yourself. Like you don't owe anybody anything. Obviously, if you're a mom, you owe your kids, you know what I'm saying, a good life, a positive mindset, safety, security, food, clothes on their back, honesty, right? We know all that, okay? If you decide to be a partner to someone, you owe them the things that you guys have agreed to. [00:24:32]

And if you haven't actually made those agreements, now's the time to do it. It's never too late. Me and my husband, we've been together for so long, and we're just I think we're just finally starting to understand each other because we're now just finally starting to know what we want as individuals. And just articulating that is important. [00:24:59]

But other than that, you don't own nobody's [__] Parents, moms especially, get into these zones where they think that nobody can do anything if they're not around. Or that this little girl's so cute. Or that things won't be great if they're not there. But actually, everything will be fine. Hi. Everything will be fine. [00:25:22]

And you got to lose that ego, sis. Your ego is so inflated by thinking that your family can't exist without you and your partner or your community can't can't function without direction from you. You've inflated your ego that much that you're literally setting yourself up to for failure. Your ego is so inflated that you're out of shape. [00:25:44]

Your ego is so inflated that you have no idea what it's like to just like be by yourself. Your ego is so inflated that you not even comfortable getting coffee by yourself. You don't even like your own company. Make that make sense. It don't make sense. So understand that the life life will go on without you. Life will go on with you. [00:26:09]

So, would you rather know and trust that and live your life or would you not trust that and end up failing, hating yourself, hating your life? I don't have all the answers. I'm not a billionaire. There are some things in my life that I absolutely need to get better at and to make better because of decisions that I made. [00:26:30]

But one thing about me, y'all, is I don't always prioritize myself. Prioritizing yourself don't always feel good. Going to the gym don't always feel good. Owning your [__] don't always feel good. Not drinking don't feel good all the time. Sometimes you want to feel that good. But when you realize that doing those things that might feel good actually aren't putting you first, it's putting your kids first. [00:27:00]

Just putting your husband first, putting your go your your girlfriend first, putting your job first, and it don't make you feel good at all. You got to re you got to re-evaluate, baby. Having my phone in the water is probably not a good idea. Thank God for this tripod, but you know what? YOLO. It's raining. [00:27:24]

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