Embracing Singleness: Finding Identity and Purpose in Christ
Summary
Mother’s Day is a beautiful opportunity to honor the women who have shaped our lives, and to recognize both the joys and the challenges that this day can bring. Whether you are celebrating, grieving, or longing, you are seen and loved by God and by this church family. Today’s focus, though, reaches beyond just mothers or even marriage—it’s about the core of who we are: our character, our identity, and our purpose, all of which are rooted in Christ, not in our relationship status.
Culture often treats singleness as a waiting room, a lesser state to be endured until marriage arrives. But Scripture paints a radically different picture. Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7, calls singleness a gift—a unique opportunity for service, focus, and flexibility in God’s kingdom. If you woke up single today, you have the gift of singleness for today, and that is not a second-tier calling. Like any gift from God, it is meant to be used for His glory and the good of others.
Singleness offers advantages: undivided focus on the Lord, freedom to say yes to God’s call, and flexibility to serve in ways that might not be possible otherwise. But these are not just for singles—married couples are challenged to leverage their marriages for spiritual growth and ministry, to open their homes and lives to others, and to find their identity in Christ rather than in the health of their relationship.
Contentment is a central theme. Paul’s words in Philippians 4 remind us that true contentment is not the absence of desire, but the surrender of our desires to God. Whether single or married, we are all tempted to seek fulfillment in relationships, possessions, or circumstances. But only Christ can truly satisfy. Discontentment leads to bitterness, jealousy, and compromise, but contentment in Christ brings freedom and peace.
We are not meant to walk alone. God calls us into biblical community, to devote ourselves to a church family, to serve, to disciple, and to be discipled. Whether single or married, our purpose is to love others as Christ has loved us, to use our gifts for His glory, and to find our identity in Him. Let’s continually place our identity and purpose in Christ, growing together as a church family.
Key Takeaways
- Singleness is a Gift, Not a Waiting Room
Singleness is not a lesser calling or a season to be endured, but a unique gift from God for today. It offers opportunities for service, focus, and flexibility that can be leveraged for God’s glory. Rather than longing for a different status, recognize the value and purpose God has for you right now. [06:01]
- Identity and Purpose Are Rooted in Christ, Not Relationships
Our culture and even the church sometimes suggest that fulfillment comes from marriage or family, but Scripture teaches that our true identity and purpose are found in Christ alone. Whether single, married, or somewhere in between, we are called to become the kind of person who reflects Christ, not to seek completion in another person. [04:17]
- Contentment Comes from Surrender, Not Circumstance
Paul’s example shows that contentment is not about having every desire met, but about surrendering those desires to God. Whether in abundance or in need, joy and peace are found in Christ, not in our circumstances. Discontentment grows when we focus on what we lack, but contentment flourishes when we trust God’s timing and provision. [17:52]
- Discontentment Leads to Compromise and Bitterness
When desire for companionship or change becomes the driving force, it can lead to bitterness, jealousy, unhealthy relationships, or even sinful shortcuts. The enemy twists our longings into destructive patterns, but Christ calls us to bring our desires to Him, trusting that only He can truly satisfy. [21:49]
- Biblical Community is Essential for Growth and Fulfillment
We are not meant to walk alone. Devoting ourselves to a church family—serving, discipling, and being discipled—helps us discover our identity and purpose in Christ. Both singles and married couples are called to invest in others, open their lives, and build up the body of Christ, reflecting the love and service of Jesus. [28:36]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[01:14] - Honoring Mothers and Acknowledging Grief
[02:34] - Series Introduction: Relationships and Identity
[04:17] - Rooting Identity and Purpose in Christ
[06:01] - Singleness as a Gift: Defining Your Gift
[09:09] - The Gift of Service and Opportunity
[10:56] - Freedom and Flexibility in Singleness
[12:58] - Challenging Cultural Myths About Singleness
[13:45] - Advantages of Singleness: Focus, Flexibility, Freedom
[16:59] - Living Well in Singleness and Facing Discontentment
[17:52] - Paul’s Secret to Contentment
[21:49] - The Dangers of Discontentment and Compromise
[26:17] - Praying for Contentment and Trusting God’s Timing
[28:36] - The Importance of Biblical Community
[31:47] - Serving Others and Reflecting Christ’s Love
[33:57] - Placing Identity and Purpose in Christ
[34:51] - Prayer for Singles and Married Couples
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide
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### Bible Reading
- 1 Corinthians 7:7-8, 32
(“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am... I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.”)
- Philippians 4:11-13
(“...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”)
- Hebrews 10:24-25
(“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”)
---
### Observation Questions
1. According to 1 Corinthians 7, how does Paul describe singleness, and what reasons does he give for calling it a gift?
[[06:01]]
2. In Philippians 4, what does Paul say is the “secret” to being content in every situation?
[[17:52]]
3. What does Hebrews 10:24-25 say about the importance of meeting together as a church family?
[[28:36]]
4. The sermon mentions that both singleness and marriage are opportunities to serve God and others. What are some specific ways the sermon says singles and married couples can use their gifts?
[[09:09]] [[29:55]]
---
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why do you think Paul calls singleness a “gift” rather than a problem to be solved or a season to be endured? How does this challenge cultural or church assumptions?
[[06:01]]
2. The sermon says, “Contentment is not the absence of desire, but the surrender of our desires to God.” What does this mean in practical terms for someone who is single or married?
[[20:34]]
3. How does finding identity and purpose in Christ, rather than in relationship status, change the way someone approaches life and relationships?
[[04:17]]
4. The sermon warns that discontentment can lead to bitterness, jealousy, or compromise. What are some examples given, and why are these responses so dangerous?
[[21:49]]
---
### Application Questions
1. The sermon says, “If you woke up single today, you have the gift of singleness for today.” How does viewing singleness as a gift change your attitude or actions? If you are married, how can you view your marriage as a gift to be used for God’s glory?
[[06:01]]
2. Paul says he has learned to be content in every situation. What is one area of your life where you struggle with contentment? What would it look like to surrender that desire to God this week?
[[17:52]] [[20:34]]
3. The sermon challenges both singles and married couples to use their gifts to serve others. What is one practical way you can serve someone in your church family this month?
[[09:09]] [[29:55]]
4. The message warns that discontentment can lead to compromise, like entering unhealthy relationships or seeking satisfaction in things that don’t honor God. Are there any areas where you are tempted to settle or compromise because of discontentment? What step can you take to address this?
[[21:49]] [[23:57]]
5. The sermon says, “We are not meant to walk alone.” How connected do you feel to your church family right now? What is one step you could take to deepen your involvement or relationships in the church?
[[28:36]]
6. Married couples are encouraged to open their homes and lives to others, and singles are encouraged to use their flexibility to serve. What is one way you can open your life to others this season, regardless of your relationship status?
[[29:55]]
7. The sermon asks, “Where do you find your identity and purpose?” Take a moment to reflect: Is there anything other than Christ that you are tempted to build your identity on? What would it look like to shift your focus back to Christ this week?
[[33:00]] [[33:57]]
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Devotional
Day 1: Our Identity and Purpose Are Rooted in Christ, Not in Relationship Status
Your worth and purpose are not determined by whether you are single, married, or somewhere in between; they are found in Christ alone. The world and even the church sometimes treat singleness as a waiting room or a lesser calling, but Scripture teaches that your identity is anchored in who you are in Jesus, not in your relationship status. Whether you are longing for marriage, grieving a loss, or content where you are, remember that your value is not diminished or elevated by your circumstances. God has a unique purpose for you right now, and He invites you to find your fulfillment and direction in Him, not in the approval or companionship of others. [04:17]
1 Corinthians 7:7-8 (ESV)
"I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am."
Reflection: In what ways have you allowed your relationship status to define your sense of worth or purpose, and how can you intentionally root your identity in Christ today?
Day 2: Singleness Is a Gift for Service and Opportunity
Singleness is not a curse or a season to be endured, but a gift from God meant to be used for His glory and the good of others. This gift provides unique opportunities for service, focus, and flexibility that can be leveraged for the kingdom of God. Whether you are single for a day or a decade, God calls you to use your time, talents, and freedom to serve others, build up the church, and respond to His call without distraction. Married or single, the question is the same: are you using the gifts God has given you to glorify Him and serve those around you? [09:09]
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV)
"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace."
Reflection: What is one practical way you can use your current season—whether single or married—to serve someone else or build up your church family this week?
Day 3: True Contentment Is Found in Christ, Not Circumstances
Contentment is not about having every desire fulfilled or being in the perfect situation; it is about surrendering your desires to God and finding your satisfaction in Him. Whether you are experiencing abundance or lack, joy or longing, the secret to true contentment is relying on Christ for strength. Discontentment often creeps in when we focus on what we lack or compare ourselves to others, but God invites us to bring our desires to Him, trust His timing, and rest in His sufficiency. [17:52]
Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Reflection: What desire or area of discontentment do you need to surrender to God today, trusting that He is enough for you in every circumstance?
Day 4: Biblical Community Is Essential for Purpose and Growth
God did not design us to walk alone; He calls us into deep, committed community with other believers for encouragement, accountability, and growth. Whether you are single or married, being devoted to a church family is one of the most important ways to discover your God-given identity and purpose. Community is not just about receiving, but about giving, serving, and building others up as Christ has done for us. When you invest in relationships within the church, you find support in seasons of loneliness, opportunities to serve, and a place to grow in Christlikeness together. [28:36]
Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)
"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
Reflection: How can you take a step deeper into biblical community this week—whether by serving, joining a group, or reaching out to encourage someone else?
Day 5: Christlike Love and Service Define Us, Not Our Status
No matter your relationship status, you are called to reflect the love of Christ by laying down your life for others and serving them selflessly. Your identity is not defined by being single, married, or dating, but by being a follower of Jesus who loves as He loved. When you place your identity and purpose in Christ, you are freed to love others well, serve sacrificially, and build up those around you. Let your life be marked by the same love, humility, and service that Jesus demonstrated, knowing that this is where true fulfillment and purpose are found. [32:18]
John 13:34-35 (ESV)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Reflection: Who is one person you can intentionally show Christlike love and service to this week, regardless of your own circumstances?
Quotes
Everything that is not of Christ is momentarily satisfying. But the truth is, it's eternally damaging. Anything that is not of Christ is momentarily satisfying, but it is eternally damaging. So don't settle for...things that are not of Christ. [00:25:28] (19 seconds)
Paul declared that his contentment didn't depend on his circumstances. It depended upon Christ. Contentment is not the absence of desire. It's the surrender of that desire to God. So wherever you are today, contentment is not the absence of desire. Desire is fine. [00:20:20] (22 seconds)
Don't let your desire for marriage, for relationship, lead you to compromise your integrity. Don't let discontentment push you into unhealthy relationships. Instead, surrender your desires to God and let him shape you in a way that honors him. [00:26:32] (15 seconds)
True freedom is not the lack of responsibility, but it's the ability to say yes to God. See, I think a lot of people think, oh, I have freedom to do whatever I want. Yeah. But whatever you want needs to align with what God is calling you to do. That's what true freedom is, is when we can come under alignment with God's will for our lives. [00:16:27] (24 seconds)
We're all incomplete apart from Christ, but our identity and purpose are rooted in him. We're all incomplete. complete. All of our opportunities, all of our serving things that we get to do, none of those are going to bring ultimate fulfillment in our lives. But when we focus on Christ, when we use our gifts, not for selfish gain, not for things that build us up, but when we use our gifts to serve others, we find our fulfillment in Christ because we're doing the very thing that Christ did. [00:11:41] (31 seconds)
Whether you're single, you're married, you're dating, you're called to Christ's family and to his mission. You're not defined by a relationship status. You're defined by who you are in Christ Jesus. [00:31:51] (15 seconds)
So to summarize, singleness is not a lesser calling, rather it is a gift. A gift that is to be used for God's glory. Here's the most important truth today, though. Whether you're single, whether you're married, or ultimately called to show the same love that Christ has shown us. We are to do what he did and to lay down our lives for others, to love others well in whatever it is that we do. [00:32:06] (34 seconds)
Because if you try to place your identity and your purpose in your marriage, you're going to fall short. But if your identity is first found in Christ, things are going to become a lot easier. I'm not saying they'll be easy, but they'll become a lot easier. Do you find your identity, your value, your purpose in Jesus? Ask yourself that question a lot this week. [00:33:00] (23 seconds)
Godliness paired with contentment is of great gain. So wherever you're facing, pursue to look more like Jesus. Ask him to give you contentment. The scripture says that's one of the greatest things that we can have. It's of great gain to us. Let that encourage you and give you hope today. [00:26:56] (21 seconds)
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