Embracing Sexual Integrity: God's Design for Marriage
Summary
Today’s gathering brought us to the conclusion of Proverbs chapter 5, where Solomon’s wisdom to his son about sexual integrity is both practical and deeply spiritual. We’ve spent the last few weeks unpacking the warnings against sexual sin, the heavy consequences that follow, and now, we turn to God’s intended prevention for sexual immorality. The heart of the matter is this: God created us as sexual beings, and He did not design us to simply suppress or ignore those desires. Instead, He provided a holy context—marriage—where those desires can be explored, enjoyed, and honored.
Solomon’s poetic language, “drink water from your own cistern,” is a call to find satisfaction and joy within the marriage covenant. This is not just about avoiding sin, but about embracing God’s good gift in the right context. The first prevention, then, is self-control. Whether single or married, we are called to steward our desires, not to be ruled by them. For singles, this means waiting with patience and integrity, trusting that God’s timing and design are best. For married couples, self-control doesn’t end at the altar; it’s about faithfulness, resisting temptations, and cultivating a healthy, mutually satisfying sex life that honors God and each other.
But marriage itself is not a cure-all. A healthy sex life can help prevent temptation, but it cannot keep us faithful on its own. The ultimate safeguard is our accountability to God. He sees every path, every thought, every action. Our devotion to Him must outweigh our desires and temptations. When we fall short, we don’t have to hide in shame—Christ intercedes for us, offering grace and the power to repent and start anew.
This is not about condemnation, but about calling us to a higher standard of worship with our bodies. Whether single or married, our sexuality is meant to be surrendered to God, lived out in obedience, and enjoyed as He intended. The call is to honor God with our bodies, to present ourselves as living sacrifices, and to let our “yes” to Him be our truest act of worship.
Key Takeaways
- Self-Control is Foundational, Not Optional
God’s design for sexuality requires self-control, both before and after marriage. The ability to wait, to resist temptation, and to honor God with our bodies is not something we muster up on our own, but a fruit of the Spirit. Whether enduring a long season of singleness or navigating the challenges of marriage, self-control is a daily surrender to God’s power within us. [34:52]
- Marriage is God’s Intended Outlet, Not a Fix for Sin
Marriage is the only God-ordained context for sexual expression, but it is not a solution for a lack of self-control or a cure for sexual brokenness. Entering marriage with unresolved patterns of immorality only brings those issues into the marriage bed. The call is to pursue marriage with wisdom, preparation, and a commitment to honor God together, not to use it as an escape from temptation. [53:12]
- A Healthy Sex Life in Marriage Requires Intentionality and Holiness
Married couples are called to cultivate a sex life that is mutually satisfying, free from manipulation, perversion, or neglect. This means honest communication, addressing wounds or barriers, and refusing to introduce sin into the marriage bed—even with mutual consent. The marriage bed is to be honored and undefiled, a place of joy and blessing, not compromise. [57:59]
- Accountability to God is the Ultimate Restraint
No matter how well we hide our actions from others, nothing is hidden from God. Our deepest accountability is to Him, and our devotion to God must be stronger than our desires. This awareness should not drive us to shame, but to a deeper dependence on His grace and a greater resolve to honor Him in all things. [01:12:21]
- Grace is Greater Than Our Failure, But Not an Excuse for Compromise
When we stumble, Christ intercedes for us, offering mercy and the power to start again. The accuser no longer has a place before God—Jesus stands in our defense. Yet, this grace is not a license to continue in sin, but an invitation to repentance, restoration, and a renewed commitment to honor God with our bodies. [01:17:03]
Youtube Chapters
[00:00] - Welcome
[28:16] - Recap of Proverbs 5 and Solomon’s Warnings
[29:19] - The Cost and Consequences of Sexual Sin
[34:52] - God’s Intended Prevention: Self-Control
[39:20] - Personal Testimony: Waiting and Enduring
[42:01] - The Only Permissible Outlet: The Marriage Bed
[44:26] - Our Bodies as God’s Temple
[46:34] - Fleeing Temptation: The Example of Joseph
[51:20] - Singleness, Marriage, and Sexual Desire
[53:12] - Wisdom in Pursuing Marriage
[55:18] - Marriage, Self-Control, and Sexual Integrity
[57:59] - Cultivating a Healthy Sex Life in Marriage
[01:12:21] - Accountability to God Above All
[01:17:03] - Grace, Intercession, and Restoration
[01:21:08] - Worshiping God with Our Bodies
[01:24:56] - Every Member Ministry: Praying for One Another
[01:37:44] - Communion
[01:46:45] - Announcements: Summer School and Small Groups
[01:48:39] - Baptism and Its Spiritual Significance
[01:53:04] - Closing and Benediction
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Honoring God with Our Bodies (Proverbs 5)
---
### Bible Reading
- Proverbs 5:15-23
“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife? Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the Lord, and he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them; the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die, led astray by their own great folly.”
- 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
- Hebrews 13:4
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
---
### Observation Questions
1. In Proverbs 5:15-23, what poetic language does Solomon use to describe sexual intimacy, and what is he encouraging his son to do?
(see [32:00] and [34:52])
2. According to 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, what is the reason Paul gives for fleeing sexual immorality?
(see [44:26])
3. What does Hebrews 13:4 say about the marriage bed, and what warning does it give?
(see [57:59])
4. In the sermon, what are some of the consequences mentioned for ignoring God’s design for sexuality?
(see [29:19])
---
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why does Solomon emphasize “your own cistern” and “your own well” when talking about sexual fulfillment? What does this reveal about God’s design for sexuality?
(see [34:52])
2. How does the idea that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19) change the way we think about sexual integrity?
(see [44:26])
3. The sermon says that marriage is not a “cure-all” for sexual sin. Why is self-control still necessary for both singles and married people?
(see [43:04] and [01:11:07])
4. What does it mean to be “accountable to God” in the area of sexual integrity, and how is this different from just being accountable to people?
(see [01:12:21])
---
### Application Questions
1. The sermon says self-control is foundational, not optional, for both singles and married people. What is one area in your life where you need to practice more self-control? What would it look like to surrender that area to God this week?
(see [34:52])
2. If you are single, how do you handle seasons of waiting and desire? What practical steps can you take to honor God with your body while you wait?
(see [42:01])
3. For those who are married, what does it look like to intentionally cultivate a healthy and holy sex life with your spouse? Are there any barriers—like lack of communication, past wounds, or busyness—that you need to address together?
(see [57:59])
4. The sermon warns that marriage is not a fix for sexual brokenness. If you are married, are there patterns or struggles you brought into marriage that still need to be addressed? What would it look like to seek healing or accountability?
(see [53:12])
5. The pastor said, “Our accountability is to God above all.” How does remembering that God sees every path, thought, and action help you resist temptation? Is there a specific situation where you need to remember this truth?
(see [01:12:21])
6. When you fall short, do you tend to hide in shame or run to Christ for grace and restoration? What would it look like to approach God’s throne of grace with confidence this week?
(see [01:17:03])
7. The sermon ended with a call to present our bodies as living sacrifices and to let our “yes” to God be our truest act of worship. What is one specific way you can honor God with your body this week—whether in your thoughts, actions, or relationships?
(see [01:21:08])
---
Close in prayer, asking God for the strength to walk in self-control, to honor Him with your body, and to experience His grace and restoration where needed.
Devotional
Day 1: God’s Design: Sexual Desire and the Marriage Covenant
God created sexual desire as a good and natural part of being human, but He also established marriage as the only proper context for its fulfillment. The pleasure and intimacy of sex are not sinful in themselves; rather, they become sinful when experienced outside the covenant of marriage. God’s intention was never to remove our desires, but to provide a holy outlet for them, so that we might honor Him with our bodies and experience joy within the boundaries He set. The call is to rejoice in the spouse of your youth, to let your fountain be blessed, and to keep your streams from overflowing into the streets, reserving intimacy for your spouse alone. [32:40]
Proverbs 5:15-20 (ESV):
"Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress?"
Reflection: If you are married, how can you intentionally cultivate joy and intimacy with your spouse this week? If you are single, what boundaries can you set today to honor God’s design for your desires?
Day 2: The Power and Practice of Self-Control
Self-control is essential for both singles and married people in honoring God with their bodies. While sexual desire is strong, God has given us His Spirit to empower us to resist temptation and walk in holiness. Whether waiting for marriage or remaining faithful within it, self-control is not about suppressing desire but about surrendering to the Spirit’s power, producing the fruit of self-control in our lives. This discipline is not just for singles; married people must also guard their hearts and remain faithful, understanding that temptation does not disappear with a wedding ring. [43:04]
Galatians 5:16, 22-23 (ESV):
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh... But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Reflection: Where do you most need to exercise self-control in your life right now, and what is one practical step you can take today to surrender that area to the Holy Spirit?
Day 3: Fleeing Sexual Immorality and Honoring the Body as God’s Temple
God calls us to actively flee from sexual immorality, not to entertain or excuse it. Our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, bought with a price, and we are called to glorify God with them. Sexual sin is unique in that it is a sin against our own bodies, and it dishonors the sacred dwelling place of God. The example of Joseph fleeing from Potiphar’s wife shows us what it means to take radical steps to avoid sin, understanding that our bodies are not our own but belong to the Lord. [44:26]
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 (ESV):
"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Reflection: What boundaries or changes do you need to make in your relationships, habits, or environment to flee from sexual immorality and honor God with your body?
Day 4: Accountability to God: Living Before His Eyes
Ultimately, the greatest motivation for purity is our accountability to God, who sees all things and knows every thought and action. No matter how well we hide our sin from others, nothing is hidden from the Lord. Like Joseph, our devotion to God must outweigh our desires and temptations, recognizing that to sin sexually is to sin against God Himself. Yet, even when we fall, we can approach the throne of grace with confidence, knowing that Jesus intercedes for us and offers mercy and help in our time of need. [01:14:06]
Hebrews 4:13-16 (ESV):
"And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Reflection: In what area of your life do you need to remember that God sees and cares, and how can you invite Him into that area for accountability and grace today?
Day 5: Worshiping God with Our Bodies
Honoring God with our bodies is an act of worship, not just in what we avoid, but in how we live daily. Presenting our bodies as living sacrifices means saying “yes” to God’s ways and “no” to the world’s patterns, understanding that obedience is our reasonable act of worship. Whether single or married, our choices about sexuality, purity, and faithfulness are opportunities to glorify God and reflect His holiness. True victory comes not from striving harder, but from surrendering more deeply to the Spirit’s work in us, letting our obedience be an offering of worship to the Lord. [01:21:08]
Romans 12:1 (ESV):
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship."
Reflection: What is one specific way you can offer your body as a living sacrifice to God today, making your obedience an act of worship?
Quotes
No, today, though, we do get to conclude chapter five, man, where we've been looking at Solomon's words of wisdom to his son. One, essentially, warning his son to avoid sexual sin, warning his son to avoid the seduction of sexual sin. And part one, we looked at the overall warning to avoid it, right? And part one, we looked at Solomon leaning on the experienced wisdom of his own life, a man with a lot of wives and concubines, 700 total. And we get to read of his story where it says he was a man who loved God. But by the end of the story, it said he was a man who loved many foreign women. And his kingdom was taken from him, and his family line was destroyed. And Israel got split, ultimately, because of his sexual sin. And so, he speaks to his son from experience. [00:28:29] (62 seconds)
And every time we choose to defile our bodies with someone who we are not supposed to be with or something we are not supposed to be with, we are dishonoring the temple that God has given us. Right? And this goes across all types of stuff. Right? Food too. 1 Corinthians 6, 18 and 20. Paul says, flee sexual immorality. For every other sin that a person commits is outside of the body. But the sexual immorale person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own? But you have been bought for a price. Therefore glorify God in your body. He says, flee. But understand why he says flee. He says, flee because you are God's dwelling place. He says, flee because your body is not your own. It does not belong to you. It is God's temple. [00:44:53] (52 seconds)
Paul said, I don't even want y 'all to have that problem, just be single, but that ain't for everybody, so he says, listen, it ain't, I wish you wouldn't touch a woman, but because of sexual immoralities, each man, notice, because of sexual immorality, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. Own means uno. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, singular, and likewise, the wife also to her husband, singular. Notice that Paul says, because of sexual immorality, be married and live those desires out with your spouse. Now, let me first talk to the singles. Singles. Marries, don't tap out, I'm coming to you. I got to give y 'all both this work. Singles. If you want to explore your sexual desires and seek to be married and endure in self -control until that day. He didn't say go buy a prostitute like they were doing. He said be married. And listen, and listen, listen, listen, listen. [00:50:50] (60 seconds)
Then you get this, now it's a new thing happening where if you promote marriage early, you get criticized for pushing young people to get married too soon. Right? All of this stuff is against the marriage bed, but that was God's intended prevention. Be married. He never, this getting married at 50 was never his intention. God never thought nobody, he got, he never thought nobody was making it to 50. He just didn't. That wasn't his intention. And so now you got a bunch of people burning with desire, wanting to lay up, wanting to be booed up, wanting to Netflix and chill, but don't want to be married. And God said, if you want that, then go be married. [00:52:21] (49 seconds)
all of us 95 of us have let the seal break but just because it's broken don't mean we can't seal that thing back just just because you are already a participant in sexual immorality married or single you can repent and let god redeem your picture and so self -control and marriage are intended to be god's solution to prevent sexual immorality [01:10:01] (31 seconds)
So what is the main thing that we need if we're going to, we can, we can flee, we can avoid, we can have self -control, we can get married. But at the end of the day, Solomon says in verse 21, for the ways of everyone are before the eyes of the Lord. And he observes all his paths. The third intended prevention for sexual sin is accountability to God. Understand that we are accountable to God. And this should be our strongest restraint from sexual sin. Let's go back to the story of Joseph. Right? Go back before she grabbed hold of him. Genesis 39, 7 and 9. And it came about after these events that his master's wife had her eyes on Joseph and he said, sleep. And she said, sleep with me. But he refused and he said to the master's wife, look with me here. My master does not concern himself with anything in the house. And he has put me in charge of all that he owns. There is no one greater in this house than I. And he has withheld nothing from me except you because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil? Here it is. And sin against God. [01:12:21] (67 seconds)
There is nowhere you can go to hide from God. And so my accountability is not to my wife. My accountability is not to my children. My accountability is not to y 'all. Y 'all help it. But at the end of the day, the thing that has kept me faithful for 12 years, 15 years, three before I'm married, 12 married. For 15 years is my accountability to God. I will not dishonor my God that way. Period. A stronger devotion is what we need. If we desire to really avoid sexual sin, God's got to be more to us than our desires. He's got to mean more to us than our temptations. [01:14:29] (48 seconds)
And is accountability to him more important than that temptation? And here's the beauty. If we fall, we don't got to be in shame and all of that. That from 14 and 16 says, therefore, since we have a great high priest who was passed through the heavens, Jesus, the son of God, let's hold firmly to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weakness, but one who has been tempted in all things, just as we are yet without sin. Therefore, let's approach the throne of grace with confidence so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need. And that's a beautiful promise that in Christ he sees all of our sin, including our sexual sin. But thank God that we don't have to shrink back in shame because he, what, intercedes and helps us. [01:15:52] (42 seconds)
But what I want us to understand from this series is that we cannot play with sexual sin. And what I'm desperately praying for, what I'm desperately hoping for from God is that everybody who has heard this message, the other messages, that everybody who has been listening, that may have found themselves with a broken seal, that they would make a choice and decision to say, God, I repent. And I will no longer walk this path. I don't care how natural the culture makes it. I don't care how available the culture makes it. I will honor you. That's my heart. That's my prayer. That we will be people of God who honor God. We shouldn't be looking like the world with our bodies. We shouldn't be Jerry Springer. We shouldn't be, you know, I'm old. So, I'm about to start naming stuff I shouldn't be naming. Right? We shouldn't be that. [01:19:59] (59 seconds)
That is worship to God. Your no is worship to God. Your yes is worship to God. Your obedience is worship to God. You ain't got to be able to sing in the autos, falsettos, and all the other O's. All you got to do is be able to be obedient. And that is your reasonable act of worship unto the Lord. [01:20:53] (21 seconds)
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