Embracing Self-Reflection for Conflict Resolution
Summary
In this sermon, I was reminded of the importance of self-reflection and taking responsibility for my own actions in conflict situations. The sermon emphasized that in conflicts, we often focus on the wrongdoings of others, while minimizing our own faults. However, Jesus teaches us to first address our own contributions to the conflict before we approach others about theirs. This principle, sometimes referred to as "getting real," is a crucial step in resolving conflicts and growing in Christ-likeness.
The sermon also highlighted the importance of confession in the process of reconciliation. Confession should be specific, acknowledging the hurt caused, accepting the consequences, and demonstrating a commitment to alter behavior in the future. This process of confession and repentance is not just about seeking comfort for ourselves, but about serving the other person and showing God's love to them. Regardless of the other person's response, we should remain committed to repairing any damage we have caused and changing our choices in the future.
Key Takeaways:
- We should focus on our own contributions to a conflict before addressing the faults of others. This principle, often referred to as "getting real," is a crucial step in resolving conflicts and growing in Christ-likeness. #!!03:36!!#
- Confession should be specific, acknowledging the hurt caused, accepting the consequences, and demonstrating a commitment to alter behavior in the future. #!!17:54!!#
- The process of confession and repentance is not just about seeking comfort for ourselves, but about serving the other person and showing God's love to them. #!!20:44!!#
- Regardless of the other person's response, we should remain committed to repairing any damage we have caused and changing our choices in the future. #!!21:26!!#
- We should pray for a spirit of self-examination to help us uncover our sins and not to rationalize or deny them but honestly admit and confess them. #!!25:42!!#
Study Guide
Main Points from the Sermon:
1. Godly character qualities must be developed through disciplined practice, overcoming our weaknesses, and mastering the proper techniques. This includes controlling our tongue during conflicts, recalling Jesus's example, and resisting resentment to forgive as God has forgiven us. [23:35] [24:15]
2. To be a peacemaker, we need to deal honestly with our contribution to a conflict. This involves a process of repentance, self-examination, confession, and personal change. The more we draw on God's grace and pursue these steps, the more useful we will be in making peace. [24:58]
3. We must take responsibility for our part in a conflict, even if it's only a small percentage. This involves admitting our wrongs to ourselves and confessing our faults to the person we offended. [08:26] [09:07] [09:49]
4. Authentic confession means getting past cheap phrases like "I'm sorry if I hurt you". Instead, we should admit our wrongs honestly and absolutely, acknowledging the hurt we caused and accepting the consequences of our actions. [11:50] [12:32] [13:57] [15:10] [16:33] [17:12] [17:54] [18:30]
Bible Chapters for the Group to Read:
1. James 3:1-12 (Controlling the tongue)
2. Matthew 5:23-24 (Reconciliation)
3. 2 Timothy 2:21 (Cleansing ourselves from sin)
4. Luke 6:41-42 (Removing the log from our own eye)
5. Matthew 5:9 (Blessed are the peacemakers)
Discussion Guide:
Observation Questions:
1. In James 3:1-12, what does the Bible say about the power of the tongue?
2. How does Matthew 5:23-24 instruct us to deal with conflicts?
3. What does 2 Timothy 2:21 tell us about the importance of cleansing ourselves from sin?
Interpretation Questions:
1. How does Luke 6:41-42 relate to the sermon's point about taking responsibility for our part in a conflict?
2. What does Matthew 5:9 mean when it says "Blessed are the peacemakers"?
3. How can we apply the seven A's of confession mentioned in the sermon to our daily lives?
Application Questions:
1. Can you recall a recent conflict where you could have controlled your tongue better? How could you have handled it differently?
2. Have you ever tried to minimize or deny your part in a conflict? How can you ensure to take full responsibility for your actions in the future?
3. Can you think of a time when you gave a weak or evasive apology? How could you make a more authentic confession next time?
Devotional
Day 1: Embrace True Repentance
True repentance is not just feeling sorry for our sins, but genuinely changing our ways and turning to God. It involves self-examination, confession, and personal change. This process is inspired by Jesus's promise that he has forgiven us and wants to purify us from the idols and habits that cause our conflicts. [24:58]
Bible passage: 2 Corinthians 7:10 - "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
Reflection: Reflect on a recent conflict you had. How can you demonstrate true repentance in this situation?
Day 2: Develop Christ-like Character
Developing a Christ-like character involves disciplined practice in which we seek to overcome our weaknesses. This character will demonstrate our repentance and enable us to enjoy the benefits of peace. To be a peacemaker, we need to deal honestly with our contribution to a conflict. [24:15]
Bible passage: Ephesians 4:22-24 - "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."
Reflection: What is one area of your character that you need to work on to become more Christ-like?
Day 3: Confess and Make Right Our Wrongs
Confessing our wrongs and making them right is a crucial step in resolving conflicts. This involves acknowledging and accepting the consequences of our actions and altering our behavior in line with God's teaching. [14:33]
Bible passage: James 5:16 - "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
Reflection: What is one wrong you need to confess and make right this week?
Day 4: Embrace the Upside Down Values of God's Kingdom
God's kingdom operates on values that are often contrary to the world's values. Embracing these values can help us live according to God's kingdom purposes here on Earth. [26:26]
Bible passage: Matthew 5:3-10 - "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth..."
Reflection: How can you live out the values of God's kingdom in your daily life?
Day 5: Gently Restore Others
After we have taken responsibility for our part in a conflict, we are better prepared to gently restore others. This is a crucial step in resolving conflict and making peace. [20:01]
Bible passage: Galatians 6:1 - "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted."
Reflection: Who is someone in your life that you need to gently restore? How can you approach this in a Christ-like manner?
Quotes
1. "As you strive to be specific in your confessions, make it a point to deal with your attitudes as well as your actions. Acknowledge the hurt that you caused. Aim to show that you understood and understand how the other person felt as a result of your words or actions." - 16:33
2. "Accepting any penalty your actions deserve is another way to demonstrate genuine repentance. The harder you work to make restitution and repair any harm you have caused, the easier it is for others to trust your confession." - 17:12
3. "Sincere repentance includes explaining to the person you offended how you plan to change in the future by God's grace. What you will say, how you will act, the attitude you will convey. Be specific. Find someone to hold you accountable." - 17:54
4. "The Golden Rule tells us to do to others as we want them to do to us. The golden result says that people will treat us as we treat them. If we blame others for a problem, they usually blame in return. If we say 'I was wrong', it's amazing how often the response will be 'It was my fault too'." - 19:15
5. "When you go to confess a wrong, remember that you are there to serve the other person, not to get comfort for yourself. Focus on showing God's love to the person that you harmed, regardless of that person's response. Keep your commitment to repairing any damage that you have caused and to changing your choices in the future." - 20:44
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