Embracing Resilience: Uncovering Truths Beyond Labels

My training came from life. By confronting life, dealing with life, overcoming life, you know, those are your real credentials. I think anybody. That's what makes you you and makes me, me. So I've had a number of things I've overcome. And if you want to get into those details, but it was just that's where your experience and training comes. That's where the depth comes from. [00:01:14]

I have a recollection at three months of age when she took me to the orphanage, and I never knew that was what it was, but probably four or five times a year I would have this dream, this repetitive dream. I'm in a dark room with a woman, being held, rocked, and wet. [00:04:28]

You got to listen to dreams. They may be invitations. And the second thing is you can inherit emotions. I couldn't be grieving at three months of age, but my mother was. And I inherited that. So when I got sad throughout my life, I would remember her grief, thinking it was my grief, and I would have this dream. [00:06:06]

If you're highly confident about something be careful yeah and so that became the start of my disruption so when people say well glass is half full glass is half empty I'm always looking for the third alternative disruptive alternative there may be another way of looking at this and so that was a lot of the training that went into not the education the formal education but the train [00:09:14]

And those conclusions are really false conclusions. Right. I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough, all these things. I'm illegitimate, I'm not wanted. And I would probably debate, and I would say, those probably aren't feelings. Those are probably thoughts. Right. Absolutely. I am not wanted. Am I wanted? Yes. See, life is a series of questions that we have to get answered. [00:16:09]

If you don't have a committed relationship and that's what marriage really is. entail a committed relationship painful and complicated to get out of yes cost you more to get out of a marriage than get in okay right yeah if you don't yeah if you don't have that kind of committed relationship the work of developing yourself the work of maturing yourself wouldn't take place if they were all girlfriends and boyfriends we would just depart right when things got rough [00:29:36]

And I trust that I've made her a better person. I think I have. But I'm not so sure there are soulmates. I think there's compatible. I think some people are more compatible than others. Yeah. wife and I have some incompatibilities. We have some very strong compatibilities. I think the strong compatibilities keep us together, where the other incompatibilities, I like golf, she doesn't like golf. [00:32:40]

And it talks about we have to embrace our imperfections rather than deny them. Yeah. Or reject them. We have to embrace our imperfections. It talks about the difference between spirituality and religion. If you can define it, it's religion. If you can't define it, it's spirituality. Religion is for those who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who've been there. [01:10:24]

And what happens is you do you don't seem to but you see and and i'm i'm kind of opposed to this 50 or 52 percent because nothing is the same every year since 1945 but too many uh what happens is we don't acknowledge that the part i played i co -created an environment that we're now terminating i co -created that if i don't acknowledge the part and role i play in the marriage i'm going to take that brokenness into the next relationship and it's not going to last very long either [01:03:02]

And you've heard this said that progress personal growth is one step back and two steps forward yeah I don't believe that okay I believe personal growth is three steps back and one step forward okay so would you say that you think people give up too easily I think they don't understand when they give up I don't think they understand giving up I think they disguise it as something else yeah but people do quit yeah they quit on themselves they quit on each other [01:05:52]

That's not a good way. When you're two years old or maybe six months old, everything you find, you put in your mouth. That's a way of processing. Well, there's other ways that we process that are just as ineffective. We don't put it in our mouth. But where do we put it? When you catch yourself or you catch somebody else, where do you put it? You don't put it in your mouth, what do you put in? [01:07:38]

So what if the life you're living is not the life that wants to live in you? You're finding that, you're questioning that. Is there more to my life? Right. Have I reached it? Have I amassed a pinnacle? there any more to uncover? Right. In one of the chapters I wrote in one of the books, I wrote, knowing is really uncovering what we've known all along. [01:08:42]