Embracing Reconciliation: Conflict Resolution Through Christ
Summary
In today's message, we explored the profound theme of reconciliation, focusing on the importance of resolving conflicts among ourselves as believers. We began by acknowledging that conflict is a universal human experience, rooted in the fall of humanity. The story of Adam and Eve illustrates how sin introduced division and blame, disrupting the unity God intended for us. This disunity is evident in various relationships, from marriages to friendships, and even within the church community.
The New Testament offers us a path to reconciliation through the teachings of Jesus. Ephesians 5:21 provides three key principles for resolving conflicts: submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ, treating others as we would treat Jesus, and recognizing that we are all part of the same body, with Christ as the head. These principles remind us that our motivation for resolving conflicts should be rooted in our respect and reverence for Christ, not merely for personal peace or gain.
We also discussed practical steps for handling conflicts. First, we must recognize that we only have control over our own hearts and actions. Romans 12:17-18 encourages us to live peaceably with all, as far as it depends on us. We should strive to maintain a pure heart, avoiding repaying evil for evil. Second, we should take the high road, sometimes choosing to suffer wrong or overlook offenses for the sake of peace and unity. Proverbs 19:11 highlights the glory in overlooking an offense.
When dealing with conflict, it's crucial to examine ourselves first, removing the "log" from our own eye before addressing the "speck" in another's. This self-reflection helps us approach conflicts with humility and a desire to help, rather than criticize. Listening is also vital; being quick to hear and slow to speak can reveal truths we might otherwise miss.
Finally, we must trust God to work in the hearts of others. Vengeance belongs to Him, and our role is to respond with kindness, even to our enemies. By doing so, we overcome evil with good, allowing God to bring about change and reconciliation in His perfect way.
Key Takeaways:
- Conflict as a Result of the Fall: Conflict is a natural part of human relationships due to the fall of humanity. Understanding this helps us approach conflicts with grace, recognizing that we are all fallen and in need of reconciliation. [02:58]
- Reconciliation Through Reverence for Christ: Resolving conflicts should be motivated by our reverence for Christ. This means submitting to one another, treating others as we would treat Jesus, and recognizing our unity as members of His body. [07:12]
- Taking the High Road: Sometimes, resolving conflict means choosing to suffer wrong or overlook offenses. This is not weakness but a demonstration of strength and glory, as it reflects the character of Christ. [19:45]
- Self-Examination and Listening: Before addressing conflicts, we must examine our own hearts and actions. Listening to others can reveal truths we might otherwise miss, helping us approach conflicts with humility and a desire to help. [22:55]
- Trusting God with Vengeance: We must trust God to work in the hearts of others, leaving vengeance to Him. By responding with kindness, even to our enemies, we allow God to bring about change and reconciliation in His perfect way. [31:14]
Youtube Chapters:
[00:00] - Welcome
[02:58] - Conflict and the Fall
[04:05] - Struggle for Supremacy
[07:12] - Reverence for Christ
[07:54] - Treating Others as Jesus
[09:06] - Lordship of Jesus
[14:06] - Power Over Your Heart
[15:58] - Quitting Before Quarrel
[17:56] - Suffering Wrong
[19:45] - Overlooking Offenses
[21:50] - Dealing with Conflict
[22:55] - Self-Examination
[25:36] - Listening and Speaking
[30:00] - Trusting God with Vengeance
[34:22] - Overcoming Evil with Good
[36:22] - Testimonies of Reconciliation
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Reconciliation and Conflict Resolution
Bible Reading:
1. Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
2. Romans 12:17-18 - "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
3. Proverbs 19:11 - "A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense."
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Observation Questions:
1. According to the sermon, what is the root cause of conflict among human beings? [02:58]
2. What are the three key principles from Ephesians 5:21 that help in resolving conflicts, as discussed in the sermon? [07:12]
3. How does the sermon describe the role of self-examination in conflict resolution? [22:55]
4. What practical steps does the sermon suggest for handling conflicts, particularly in terms of controlling one's own heart? [14:06]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the concept of submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ challenge common approaches to conflict resolution? [07:12]
2. In what ways does the sermon suggest that overlooking an offense can be seen as a strength rather than a weakness? [19:45]
3. How does the idea of treating others as we would treat Jesus influence our approach to resolving conflicts? [07:54]
4. What does the sermon imply about the importance of trusting God with vengeance and how does this affect our interactions with those who wrong us? [31:14]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a recent conflict you experienced. How might the principle of submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ have changed your approach? [07:12]
2. Think of a situation where you were tempted to repay evil for evil. How can you apply Romans 12:17-18 to respond differently next time? [14:06]
3. Identify a relationship where you struggle with conflict. What steps can you take to examine your own heart and actions before addressing the other person? [22:55]
4. Consider a time when you chose to overlook an offense. How did that decision impact the relationship, and what did you learn from it? [19:45]
5. How can you practice listening more effectively in your relationships, especially during conflicts? What specific actions can you take to be "quick to hear and slow to speak"? [25:36]
6. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive, as Christ forgave you? What steps can you take this week to move towards forgiveness and reconciliation? [26:52]
7. How can you trust God more with the outcomes of conflicts, especially when you feel wronged? What practical steps can you take to leave vengeance to God and respond with kindness? [31:14]
Devotional
Day 1: Understanding Conflict as a Result of the Fall
Conflict is an inherent part of human relationships, stemming from humanity's fall. Recognizing this truth allows us to approach conflicts with grace and understanding. The story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden illustrates how sin introduced division and blame, disrupting the unity God intended for us. This disunity is evident in various relationships, from marriages to friendships, and even within the church community. By acknowledging that conflict is a universal human experience, we can approach it with a mindset of reconciliation, knowing that we are all fallen and in need of grace. [02:58]
Genesis 3:12-13 (ESV): "The man said, 'The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.' Then the Lord God said to the woman, 'What is this that you have done?' The woman said, 'The serpent deceived me, and I ate.'"
Reflection: Think of a recent conflict in your life. How can recognizing the fallen nature of humanity help you approach this situation with more grace and understanding today?
Day 2: Reconciliation Through Reverence for Christ
Resolving conflicts should be motivated by our reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21 teaches us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ, treating others as we would treat Jesus, and recognizing our unity as members of His body. This perspective shifts our motivation for resolving conflicts from personal peace or gain to a deeper respect and reverence for Christ. By seeing others as part of the same body, with Christ as the head, we are reminded of the importance of unity and reconciliation in our relationships. [07:12]
Colossians 3:12-14 (ESV): "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."
Reflection: Consider a relationship where conflict exists. How can you approach this conflict with a mindset of reverence for Christ, treating the other person as you would treat Jesus?
Day 3: Taking the High Road
Sometimes, resolving conflict means choosing to suffer wrong or overlook offenses. This is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of strength and glory, as it reflects the character of Christ. Proverbs 19:11 highlights the glory in overlooking an offense, reminding us that taking the high road can lead to peace and unity. By choosing to overlook offenses, we demonstrate the love and grace of Christ, allowing His character to shine through us in difficult situations. [19:45]
1 Peter 2:23 (ESV): "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly."
Reflection: Is there an offense you are holding onto that you can choose to overlook today? How might this decision reflect the character of Christ in your life?
Day 4: Self-Examination and Listening
Before addressing conflicts, we must examine our own hearts and actions. This self-reflection helps us approach conflicts with humility and a desire to help, rather than criticize. Listening is also vital; being quick to hear and slow to speak can reveal truths we might otherwise miss. By examining ourselves first and listening to others, we can approach conflicts with a spirit of humility and understanding, seeking to build bridges rather than walls. [22:55]
James 1:19-20 (ESV): "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God."
Reflection: In a current conflict, how can you practice self-examination and active listening to better understand the other person's perspective?
Day 5: Trusting God with Vengeance
We must trust God to work in the hearts of others, leaving vengeance to Him. By responding with kindness, even to our enemies, we allow God to bring about change and reconciliation in His perfect way. Romans 12:17-18 encourages us to live peaceably with all, as far as it depends on us, and to overcome evil with good. Trusting God with vengeance frees us from the burden of retaliation and opens the door for His transformative work in our relationships. [31:14]
Proverbs 20:22 (ESV): "Do not say, 'I will repay evil'; wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you."
Reflection: Is there someone you are struggling to forgive or show kindness to? How can you trust God to work in their heart and choose to respond with kindness today?
Quotes
Conflict between human beings is the result of the fall. You know, sometimes we think it's a person's personality, it's they got a bad attitude, they got a bad attitude, they got a bad attitude, they got a bad attitude. I don't like their opinion or whatever. You could name a thousand reasons why you may have conflict with somebody, but the bottom line, and I love the simplicity of scripture because it really makes sense of a lot of things in life when we begin to see things through God's perspective, but conflict comes as a result of the fall. [00:00:10]
When you come into the New Testament, I love this scripture in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 21. Jesus gives us here a kind of a recipe for lack of a better word of how a husband and wife should treat one another. And I believe, I mean as I've been studying this and kind of learning more and more in the scripture about resolution of conflict, I believe right here there are three keys or three principles that will help us to resolve conflict not just for marriages but across the board. [00:04:36]
Submitting to one another and here's my point out of reverence for Christ. You know, if you want to start working through conflict, you've got to do it out of reverence for Christ. See, it's not because I want peace in my home. That's not a big enough reason. That's not strong enough to deal with the pride of conflict of my life. I want peace in my home. No, that's not strong enough. It is out of reverence for Christ. [00:07:14]
The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, thinking of Jesus as the head of the church, his body. And as I was thinking about that, you know, how many of you walk around slapping yourself? I see your hand. You just walk around like nobody does that. But we do that in our relationships. We're all part of the same body. Jesus is the head. [00:09:13]
If you're offering your gift at the altar, that's a beautiful thing to do, bring your gift, come and worship the Lord. But he says if you do this and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift at the altar and go. And then he says first be reconciled, be reconciled to your brother. And this shows you the priority that Jesus puts upon this what we're talking about today. [00:11:32]
Romans 12 verse 17, repay no one evil for evil. So that's what Jesus says because he's the Lord because I fear him I'm not going to do that. That's the main reason because he's the Lord I'm not going to repay people evil for evil. If evil comes my way somehow I need to learn how to step back from that and we'll learn more about that later on at the end. [00:12:57]
Proverbs 17, 14 says, the beginning of strife is like letting out water. So picture a crack in a dam. How do you know if the water just begins to come out, you have a little bit of time to actually stop it? There's not a whole lot of pressure there. But as soon as that begins to crack open and the water pressure comes out, and I don't know if any of you have ever been on the receding end of like a fire hose or something like that. [00:14:55]
Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? Who wants to suffer wrong? Who wants to be defrauded? None of us do. And yet there are times to save a conflict, to save a thing that's going into conflict, that you can take the high road and say, you know what, I think in this case I'm willing to be defrauded. I'm willing to not react or respond in this way that I feel like I want to in my heart. [00:18:09]
When you must deal with conflict, here's a right and a wrong way. Here's just some principles. Matthew 7, verse 5. First one is look within yourself. You know, it's easy. Jesus taught this in Matthew 7, verse 5. First, take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. How many of you know it's easy to see the specks in other people's eye? [00:22:02]
James 1 9 19 let every person be quick to hear slow to speak and slow to anger that's another very practical thing every person quick to hear slow to speak somebody said one time you have two ears and one mouth you should listen twice as much as you speak i don't know if that's true or not but it's the idea that listening is just as important as speaking and when you're in a we like to speak because we want our point to get across. [00:24:05]
Proverbs 20, 22 says, do not say I will repay evil for evil. Wait for the Lord. He will deliver you. And then Romans 12 speaks about this and elaborates on it, which I want to spend a little bit of time on that and we'll be done. So Romans 12, verse 17, repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable. And we shared this earlier. [00:30:00]
Vengeance is mine, says the Lord. Leave it to him. He will be righteous. He will meet out whatever needs to be met out against that person. He'll deal with it. And he'll do it in a redemptive way. Our vengeance will always be flawed. Right? Our vengeance will always be flawed. It will either be too much or not enough. You know, that's the bottom line. We don't understand purely righteous judgment. [00:34:40]
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