Embracing Peace Through Self-Denial and Compassion

 

Summary

In today's reflection, we explore the profound journey of living without anger and embracing self-denial to become people of peace. The essence of this transformation lies in the willingness to let go of our egotistical desires and the relentless pursuit of having our own way. As we age, our outward selves may diminish, but inwardly, we have the opportunity to be renewed daily by dying to our superficial selves. This renewal allows a nobler self to emerge, one that stands for righteousness without egotism.

Dallas Willard's insights remind us that the confusion between our desire for good and our desire to have our way often leads to conflicts in families, churches, and nations. Anger, as an energy that arises when our will is frustrated, can quickly lead to harm if not managed. The antidote to this is the practice of self-denial, which releases us from the pressure of anger and retaliation. By not insisting on our way, we align ourselves with the teachings of Jesus, who advocated for love and forgiveness, even towards those who oppose us.

The early church exemplified this spirit through its diversity, generosity, non-retaliation, and care for the vulnerable. These values transcend political divides and call us to embody a spirit of peace in a world rife with outrage. To cultivate this peace, we must be deeply aware of our own brokenness and extend compassion to others, recognizing that everyone carries their own wounds. By doing so, we can move towards the restoration of goodness in our souls and the world around us.

Key Takeaways:

- Embracing self-denial is crucial for inner renewal. By letting go of our superficial desires and egotism, we allow a nobler self to emerge, capable of standing for righteousness without the need for personal gain. This transformation is a daily process that requires us to focus less on ourselves and more on the greater good. [01:46]

- Anger often stems from the frustration of our will. It is a dangerous emotion that can lead to harm if not managed properly. Practicing self-denial and releasing the need to have our way can free us from the pressures of anger and retaliation, aligning us with the teachings of Jesus. [04:10]

- The early church's values of diversity, generosity, non-retaliation, and care for the vulnerable serve as a model for us today. These values transcend political divides and call us to embody a spirit of peace and forgiveness in a world filled with conflict and outrage. [07:26]

- Awareness of our own brokenness and sinfulness helps us avoid judgment and self-righteousness. By acknowledging our own flaws, we can extend compassion and understanding to others, reducing the anger and resentment that often arise from a sense of superiority. [09:38]

- Developing compassion for those we are angry with is essential. Recognizing that others have also been hurt and wounded allows us to see them more clearly and respond with empathy rather than anger. This practice helps us die to ourselves and fosters a spirit of peace. [11:37]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:31] - Living Without Anger
- [01:07] - Denial of Self
- [01:22] - Aging and Renewal
- [02:00] - Standing for Right Without Egotism
- [02:44] - Confusion of Desires
- [03:24] - The Will to Have My Way
- [04:10] - Anger and Self-Denial
- [05:06] - The Walk Away Strategy
- [06:16] - Release from Anger and Retaliation
- [07:26] - Values of the Early Church
- [08:29] - Political Divides and Church Values
- [09:01] - Laying Down the Burden of Self-Will
- [09:38] - Awareness of Brokenness
- [11:24] - Compassion for Others
- [12:06] - Conclusion and Next Steps

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
1. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
2. 1 Thessalonians 5:15
3. Jonah 4:4-11

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Observation Questions:

1. In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, what does Paul say about the outward and inward self? How does this relate to the concept of aging and renewal mentioned in the sermon? [01:22]

2. According to 1 Thessalonians 5:15, what specific behavior does Paul instruct the Thessalonians to avoid, and what should they pursue instead? How does this align with the sermon’s message on anger and retaliation? [06:47]

3. In the story of Jonah, how does Jonah react to God’s compassion towards Nineveh, and what lesson does God try to teach him through the vine and the worm? [10:57]

4. How does the sermon describe the early church's values, and what impact did these values have on their community? [07:26]

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Interpretation Questions:

1. What does it mean to be "renewed day by day" as mentioned in 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, and how does this renewal process relate to the practice of self-denial discussed in the sermon? [01:46]

2. How might the instruction in 1 Thessalonians 5:15 to "seek after that which is good for one another" challenge the way individuals handle conflicts within families or communities? [06:47]

3. In what ways does Jonah’s story illustrate the dangers of holding onto anger and the importance of compassion, as highlighted in the sermon? [11:12]

4. How do the values of the early church, as described in the sermon, transcend political divides, and what does this suggest about the role of the church in today’s society? [08:29]

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Application Questions:

1. Reflect on a recent situation where your will was frustrated. How did you respond, and what might you do differently next time to practice self-denial and align with the teachings of Jesus? [04:10]

2. Consider a person or group you have been angry with. What steps can you take to develop compassion for them, recognizing their own wounds and brokenness? [11:37]

3. How can you incorporate the early church's values of diversity, generosity, non-retaliation, and care for the vulnerable into your daily life? Identify one specific action you can take this week. [07:26]

4. Think about a time when you insisted on having your own way. How did this affect your relationships, and what can you learn from this experience to foster a spirit of peace? [03:24]

5. In what ways can you become more aware of your own brokenness and sinfulness to avoid judgment and self-righteousness? How might this awareness change your interactions with others? [09:38]

6. Identify a situation where you can practice the "walk away strategy" to manage anger. How will you prepare yourself to use this strategy effectively? [05:06]

7. Reflect on the story of Jonah. Is there an area in your life where you feel justified in your anger? How can you invite God to transform this anger into compassion and understanding? [10:57]

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing Self-Denial for Inner Renewal
Embracing self-denial is a transformative journey that allows us to shed our superficial desires and egotism, paving the way for a nobler self to emerge. This process is not a one-time event but a daily commitment to focus less on ourselves and more on the greater good. By letting go of our need for personal gain, we align ourselves with a higher purpose, standing for righteousness without the burden of egotism. This inner renewal is a profound opportunity to be renewed daily, even as our outward selves may diminish with age. [01:46]

"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16, ESV)

Reflection: What is one superficial desire you can let go of today to focus on a greater good?


Day 2: Managing Anger Through Self-Denial
Anger often arises when our will is frustrated, leading to potential harm if not managed properly. The practice of self-denial offers a powerful antidote, freeing us from the pressures of anger and retaliation. By releasing the need to have our way, we align ourselves with the teachings of Jesus, who advocated for love and forgiveness. This alignment not only helps us manage our emotions but also fosters a spirit of peace within us, allowing us to respond to life's challenges with grace and understanding. [04:10]

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil." (Psalm 37:8, ESV)

Reflection: Identify a situation where your will was frustrated recently. How can you practice self-denial to manage your anger in that situation?


Day 3: Living the Values of the Early Church
The early church exemplified values of diversity, generosity, non-retaliation, and care for the vulnerable, serving as a model for us today. These values transcend political divides and call us to embody a spirit of peace and forgiveness in a world filled with conflict and outrage. By embracing these principles, we can create communities that reflect the love and compassion of Christ, offering hope and healing to those around us. This commitment to living out these values is a powerful testament to the transformative power of faith. [07:26]

"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need." (Acts 2:44-45, ESV)

Reflection: How can you embody one of the early church's values in your interactions this week?


Day 4: Awareness of Our Own Brokenness
Being aware of our own brokenness and sinfulness helps us avoid judgment and self-righteousness. By acknowledging our own flaws, we can extend compassion and understanding to others, reducing the anger and resentment that often arise from a sense of superiority. This awareness fosters humility and empathy, allowing us to connect with others on a deeper level and promote healing and reconciliation in our relationships. [09:38]

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a recent conflict. How can acknowledging your own brokenness change your perspective on the situation?


Day 5: Developing Compassion for Those We Are Angry With
Developing compassion for those we are angry with is essential for fostering a spirit of peace. Recognizing that others have also been hurt and wounded allows us to see them more clearly and respond with empathy rather than anger. This practice helps us die to ourselves and align with the teachings of Jesus, who calls us to love and forgive even our enemies. By cultivating compassion, we can transform our relationships and contribute to a more peaceful and loving world. [11:37]

"But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44, ESV)

Reflection: Think of someone you are currently angry with. How can you begin to develop compassion for them today?

Quotes


Though i would leave her wasting away that's called aging and that's going on all the time every day i experience it listen to a talk by dallas willow the other night where he said nobody goes to a plastic surgeon to have something lowered everything is drooping everything is lowering that's the way it goes but inwardly we're being renewed day by day that is a real possibility for us if we're willing to do one thing and that is to not live for ourselves not think about ourselves when we die to ourselves that lesser superficial self then a nobler greater self can be born within us. [00:01:22]

One of the real sources of difficulty here is confusion of our desire for what is good and right to prevail that's a good thing with art is there to have our own way one often sees the effects of this confusion and controversies in families in churches or between religious and political groups confusion of the desire for what is good and right to prevail that's good versus getting my own way in such cases very important values are often at stake people are passionately committed to one side or another that is as it should be but more often than not the contempt and anger for others that emerges in the conflict is nothing but a manifestation of the will to have my way. [00:02:44]

Anger is the energy that i feel when my will gets frustrated i want to straighten out whatever it is resolve whatever it is that is frustrating my will very often that involves another person and so then anger moves very quickly to will to harm and it's a very dangerous thing to cultivate anger michael ware was talking about this not long ago there are people who believe that a social conscience or political involvement requires will to anger will to harm and jesus would stand on another side of that martin luther king the insistence that we love all including the people who regard themselves as our enemies is central. [00:04:10]

This writer says actually one of the best things to do when you're really really angry is what he calls the walk away strategy not as a way of trying to be passive aggressive or control the other person just simply to walk away and allow the anger to dissipate to breathe deeply to take a walk and what you will discover if you run this experiment the walk away strategy is when you come back to the situation without the hot energy of anger it will look different and i will have more empathy and understanding towards the other person. [00:05:06]

To accept with confidence in god that i do not immediately have to have my way releases me from the great pressure that anger unforgiveness and the need to retaliate imposes upon my life this is by itself a huge transformation of the landscape of our life it removes the root and source of by far the greater part of human evil we have to deal with in the world paul directed the christians in thessalonica to quote see that no one repays another with evil for evil but all we seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. [00:06:16]

The early church was remarkably diverse multi-ethnic it was in antioch people were first called christians because it was getting so diverse it couldn't be regarded just as a jewish sect anymore and there was radical generosity for the poor unlike any other move in the ancient world and there was a spirit of non-retaliation non-violence forgiveness and there was a deep care for infants for unprotected lives that in the ancient world were often considered discardable and then there was a much higher kind of strict commitment in terms of sexual practice to monogamy and chastity. [00:07:26]

Our world our society desperately needs you to become a person of peace in an age of outrage dallas goes on these remarkable teachings and examples which do so much to immediately transform life all presuppose that one has laid down the burden of having one's own way you can't begin to even understand them much less follow them except from a posture of self-denial firmly supported upon confidence and this based in turn a strong experience of god's all-sufficient presence in your life. [00:09:01]

I struggle with this i've told you i i experienced more anguish over anger and resentment at this point in my life than i ever have before and there are two practices that really help me one of them is to be deeply in touch with my own fallenness my own brokenness my own sins because it's much harder to be judgmental and self-righteous towards others which anger demands when i'm aware of how broken i am it's very interesting the prophets who spoke with great indignation and passion about what was going wrong every single prophet also has a confession of sin where they identify with the sinfulness of their people. [00:09:38]

When i become aware of my own sinfulness and confess it it helps me avoid that kind of jonah anger and then the other practice is to be aware of the way that the people i'm angry at have also been heard have also been wounded to develop compassion for them because everybody is this mixture and when i die to myself i'm able to see that more clearly. [00:11:24]

And there was radical generosity for the poor unlike any other move in the ancient world and there was a spirit of non-retaliation non-violence forgiveness and there was a deep care for infants for unprotected lives that in the ancient world were often considered discardable and then there was a much higher kind of strict commitment in terms of sexual practice to monogamy and chastity. [00:07:26]

Our world our society desperately needs you to become a person of peace in an age of outrage dallas goes on these remarkable teachings and examples which do so much to immediately transform life all presuppose that one has laid down the burden of having one's own way you can't begin to even understand them much less follow them except from a posture of self-denial firmly supported upon confidence and this based in turn a strong experience of god's all-sufficient presence in your life. [00:09:01]

I struggle with this i've told you i i experienced more anguish over anger and resentment at this point in my life than i ever have before and there are two practices that really help me one of them is to be deeply in touch with my own fallenness my own brokenness my own sins because it's much harder to be judgmental and self-righteous towards others which anger demands when i'm aware of how broken i am it's very interesting the prophets who spoke with great indignation and passion about what was going wrong every single prophet also has a confession of sin where they identify with the sinfulness of their people. [00:09:38]

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Transcript
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