Embracing Our Stories: Finding God in Frustration

 

Summary

In our journey through life, we often find ourselves yearning for the story we desire, yet reality seldom aligns with our expectations. This gap between our dreams and reality can be a profound space where we encounter God. Our stories are not static; they are dynamic and ever-evolving. Reflecting on our past can provide clarity and understanding, helping us integrate our experiences into a cohesive narrative. My own childhood was marked by moments of fear and confusion due to my parents' conflicts, but over time, I have come to understand that my perspective was just a fragment of a larger story. This realization has allowed me to find meaning and purpose in the midst of life's unpredictability.

Romans 8 reminds us that creation itself is subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by God's design, with the hope of liberation. This frustration can drive us to seek a greater story, one that transcends our immediate circumstances. It can also foster compassion as we recognize the brokenness in others' stories and find common ground. Andy Crouch once shared that God's promise is His presence, not necessarily the power to change our circumstances. Wrestling with God, rather than accepting things passively, can deepen our relationship with Him. The Psalms teach us that lament can lead to genuine praise, as we absorb the story of Jesus, who found solace in God's presence even in suffering.

Our stories are narrow, yet they allow for a wide life. Arthur Miller's book title, "Why You Can't Be Anything You Want to Be," highlights the importance of embracing our unique design. Our DNA and personality shape how we live and encounter God. Revisiting my childhood home reminded me of my innate need for independence and adventure. It's easy to envy others' stories, but true fulfillment comes from embracing our own and finding God's presence and purpose within it. Dallas Willard wisely noted that God blesses us where we are, not where we wish to be. By accepting our current circumstances, we create space for God to enter our lives.

Key Takeaways:

- Our stories are dynamic and ever-evolving. Reflecting on our past can provide clarity and help us integrate our experiences into a cohesive narrative. This process allows us to find meaning and purpose, even when life doesn't go as planned. [01:26]

- The gap between our desired story and reality can be a space where we encounter God. Romans 8 teaches us that frustration can drive us to seek a greater story, fostering compassion and understanding for others' brokenness. [04:21]

- God's promise is His presence, not necessarily the power to change our circumstances. Wrestling with God, rather than accepting things passively, can deepen our relationship with Him and lead to genuine praise. [06:00]

- Embracing our unique design allows for a wide life. Our DNA and personality shape how we live and encounter God. True fulfillment comes from accepting our story and finding God's presence and purpose within it. [08:26]

- God blesses us where we are, not where we wish to be. By accepting our current circumstances, we create space for God to enter our lives and work through our stories. [10:32]

Youtube Chapters:

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:09] - The Gap Between Desire and Reality
[01:26] - Reflecting on Our Stories
[02:11] - Childhood Memories and Family Dynamics
[03:39] - Understanding and Integrating Our Past
[04:21] - Romans 8 and Finding God in Frustration
[05:06] - The Quest for a Greater Story
[06:00] - God's Presence in Difficult Times
[06:41] - The Role of Lament in Praise
[07:24] - Wrestling with God
[08:26] - Embracing Our Unique Design
[09:10] - Revisiting Childhood Memories
[10:03] - Finding Fulfillment in Our Own Story
[10:32] - God's Blessing in Our Current Circumstances
[11:01] - Embrace Your Story

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide

Bible Reading:
- Romans 8:20-21: "For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God."

Observation Questions:
1. How does Romans 8:20-21 describe the state of creation and its purpose? What does this suggest about the nature of frustration in our lives?
2. In the sermon, the speaker reflects on their childhood experiences. How did these experiences shape their understanding of their story? [02:11]
3. What does the speaker mean by saying "nobody gets the story they want"? How does this idea relate to the concept of finding God in the gap between desire and reality? [01:09]
4. How does the speaker describe the role of lament in the Psalms, and what does this suggest about the relationship between lament and praise? [06:41]

Interpretation Questions:
1. Romans 8:20-21 speaks of creation's frustration and hope for liberation. How might this passage encourage someone who feels stuck in their current circumstances?
2. The speaker mentions that God's promise is His presence, not necessarily the power to change circumstances. How might this understanding affect one's relationship with God during difficult times? [06:00]
3. The sermon discusses the importance of embracing one's unique design. How does this perspective challenge the common belief that we can be anything we want to be? [08:26]
4. The speaker reflects on their childhood memories and how they have integrated these experiences into their story. How might revisiting past experiences help someone find meaning and purpose in their life? [03:39]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a time when your reality did not match your expectations. How did you encounter God in that gap, and what did you learn from the experience? [01:09]
2. Consider a current frustration in your life. How might viewing this frustration as an opportunity to seek a greater story change your perspective? [04:21]
3. How can you practice wrestling with God in your prayer life, rather than accepting things passively? What might this look like for you personally? [06:26]
4. Think about your unique design—your personality, strengths, and limitations. How can you embrace these aspects of yourself to live a "wide life" and encounter God more fully? [08:26]
5. Identify an area of your life where you are struggling to accept your current circumstances. How can you create space for God to enter and work through your story in this area? [10:32]
6. Reflect on a past experience that was difficult or confusing at the time. How might revisiting this experience with a new perspective help you integrate it into your story and find meaning? [03:39]
7. How can you cultivate compassion and understanding for others' brokenness, recognizing that everyone has a story that may not align with their desires? [05:33]

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing the Dynamic Nature of Our Stories
Reflecting on our past can provide clarity and help us integrate our experiences into a cohesive narrative. Our stories are not static; they are dynamic and ever-evolving. This process allows us to find meaning and purpose, even when life doesn't go as planned. By looking back, we can see how different events and experiences have shaped us, and how God has been present throughout our journey. This reflection can help us understand our current circumstances and prepare us for the future. [01:26]

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted." (Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a past experience that was challenging for you. How can you see God's hand in that situation now, and how has it shaped who you are today?


Day 2: Encountering God in the Gap Between Desire and Reality
The gap between our desired story and reality can be a space where we encounter God. Romans 8 teaches us that frustration can drive us to seek a greater story, fostering compassion and understanding for others' brokenness. This space of unmet expectations is where we can find God working in our lives, teaching us to trust Him and to see beyond our immediate circumstances. It is in this gap that we can develop empathy for others, recognizing that everyone has their own struggles and unmet desires. [04:21]

"Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." (Romans 5:3-4, ESV)

Reflection: Identify an area in your life where reality doesn't meet your expectations. How can you invite God into that space and seek His greater story for you?


Day 3: God's Presence in Our Circumstances
God's promise is His presence, not necessarily the power to change our circumstances. Wrestling with God, rather than accepting things passively, can deepen our relationship with Him and lead to genuine praise. This wrestling is a form of active engagement with God, where we bring our doubts, fears, and frustrations to Him. Through this process, we can experience His presence in a profound way, finding comfort and strength even when our circumstances remain unchanged. [06:00]

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10, ESV)

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you feel you are wrestling with God? How can you use this struggle to deepen your relationship with Him today?


Day 4: Embracing Our Unique Design
Embracing our unique design allows for a wide life. Our DNA and personality shape how we live and encounter God. True fulfillment comes from accepting our story and finding God's presence and purpose within it. By understanding and embracing who we are, we can live authentically and fully, without envy of others' stories. This acceptance allows us to see the beauty in our own journey and to recognize the unique ways God is working in our lives. [08:26]

"For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:13-14, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a unique aspect of your personality or life story. How can you embrace this uniqueness and see it as a way to encounter God more deeply?


Day 5: Finding God's Blessing in Our Current Circumstances
God blesses us where we are, not where we wish to be. By accepting our current circumstances, we create space for God to enter our lives and work through our stories. This acceptance is not about resignation but about opening our hearts to God's presence and His work in our lives. It is about trusting that He is with us in the here and now, and that He has a purpose for us in our current situation. [10:32]

"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" (Hebrews 13:5, ESV)

Reflection: What is one aspect of your current circumstances that you struggle to accept? How can you invite God to bless you in that area today?

Quotes


"I I wrote a few notes down just so I don't forget anything but I have loved this series and honestly especially the phrase nobody gets the story they want because I think deep inside of us we're wired to get the story we want and so that Gap I think really helps us um find God and really dig deep to say if I don't get the story I want is there still meaning and purpose there um so a couple of thoughts that I had the first one was," [00:00:57]

"um you have your whole life long to figure out your story your story is not static it's quite Dynamic and I think for me looking back in the rearview mirror I tend to learn more about my story when I pause and reflect and look in the rearview mirror rather than in the moment sometimes it's not as clear yeah so I think for me when I was a little girl I was an only child and my mom and dad both worked so many good things about my family growing up in my story my dad had such a love of outdoors and bred that in me my mom worked and was just a delightful social person but especially for a few years in my early years maybe from the time I was 3 till 8 and then maybe less so but still going on there was a fair amount of fighting in our house going on and um it was at at one point for me pretty terrifying I would um sometimes when they would fight I would run between them to try to get them to stop fighting and if that didn't work I'd run back into the den and turn the TV up louder and if they were still fighting I'd leave and try to get them to stop again and then not infrequently when um when the fighting escalated to the point of utter frustration one of them would leave and they would get in the car and go and the other one might go to bed and as a little girl I would sometimes crawl up on the kitchen counter I can still feel the way that the tile on the kitchen felt on my shins and I would peer out through the curtains and watch and wait for whoever left to to come home and then when they would pull in the driveway I would see the lights and I would run back in bed and pretend to be asleep and um it was a it was tough and I would often spend time when I would go over to friend's house and look around like my eyes would Dart around taking it all in and comparing and realizing uh not all my friends parents fought like that and there were a couple of parents who who fought worse but when I was a little girl it was so terrifying as I got older it was uh anger producing and frustrating and caused some tension as I tried to work all that what that all meant out in my life with my mom and me and had to do a lot of work on that and then the older I've gotten been able to put it in the right place to understand uh they were going through things I certainly couldn't fully understand and uh my experience of those years was only a small piece of the whole story so I think spending spending your whole life long integrating things into your story retelling the story and rethinking what it meant yeah I was thinking when you were talking about we don't get this nobody gets the stories they want and that is somehow supposed to kind of point us towards God yeah there's that passage in Roman 8 where Paul talks about for the creation was subjected to frustration yeah not by its own choice but by the one that sub that subjected it that is God in the hopes that it could be liberated from its bondage to Decay that somehow uh actually being willing to live in the pain and frustration of not getting the story that I want can everybody say oh there is no story in this world there is no marriage you know I I think about what each of our children might say today or at some point about pain points in their story when they were grown up there is no family there is no job um there is no body that's going to bring the Fulfillment that we're all hoping to get and and that idea that somehow there's even something hopeful in that that that frustration can push me to keep looking and keep looking and I think that you've done that I think in ways that were really kind of remarkable to me because I don't think I did that nearly as much as a young adult as you did at caused you to go on a quest for what's a greater story and perhaps it's some level uh can make us more compassionate toward towards the broken pieces of other people stor you know and find um find Common Ground there uh another thing I'm not sure exactly how to put this but Andy Crouch was out uh a couple of years ago working with some of our leaders here in the Bay Area and he talked about going through difficult times and how um what God gives you what he promises is his presence and we were in the middle of probably the toughest part of our life and I just remember muttering under my breath to myself no one in particular it's not enough it's not enough it's not what I'm looking for not looking for presence I'm looking for power I'm looking for somebody to fix it wow yeah and certainly when I think of God I certainly think of somebody who is capable of fixing things and um what I've done with that in my story especially in the last couple years but even throughout my whole life is I think there's a point for a really important place in our stories for wrestling with God I think to just mindlessly and chirpily accept things like that uh does us no service and keeps us living on the surface with God I think I've said this before but when I preached on the book of Psalms one time mathematically um there are more Psalms of lament than there are psalms of praise and I wonder sometimes if that means that the way to genuine praise is through lament and then being able to over time absorb the story of Jesus going to the Cross where that's all he got was The Presence he didn't get the power to change it but I think to be able to argue with God to be able to wrestle with God to be able to not accept things quickly and take time until it percolates down into my soul instead of just on my skin makes my story more powerful yeah um remember when I was in school there was a a teacher Jack Rogers he would often quote Calvin as saying when God speaks to us God lisps and I think about that sometimes that's what you do with a baby because that's how baby talks that all of us when we think of God talking or we say I imagine God saying something it always sounds like us and so true um I think for you uh God never sounds syrupy sentimental um there'll just be this feisty raw uh and you meet God there and I think um that challenges me and a lot of people when they hear you and they think oh it's okay for me to get Scrappy with God and uh to think of God getting back that way with me um because each of us has to find our own language and a way to bring our own story into God yeah and certainly you know reading Genesis through Revelation there are just so many stories like that and then I think the last thing I would say um if we understand our stories or as we understand them that the narrowness of our stories is what allows for wide life and what do you mean by that well uh I think you know Arthur Miller wrote a book called um why you can't be anything you want to be which I just thought was a brilliant title you don't even need to read the book but we keep Sor book um we keep feeding our kids and ourselves with this belief the truth is we have a very narrow range in our DNA we're sort of presetting our personality and it informs how we should live our lives and how we meet God um I took my mom M who just moved up to uh an independent living facility in Santa Barbara last week 93 years old and a couple of weeks ago we went back to the house where I lived my whole life and um was fun to see the people that live there we went through the house and then we drove through the neighborhood and I I saw this place where I used to ride my bike and when I was 8 years old I remember being on my bike alone and being absolutely giddy that nobody knew where I was and last month when I went back there I think I was three blocks from home it was so much closer than I remember we used to have a place across the street from our house about 30 Acres of eucalyptus trees called the jungle and all the kids would say hey let's meet in the jungle and we'll play all day and just looking back at who God made me to be and that need for Independence that need for adventure um somebody showed us recently an app where you can get it for everybody in the family and that everybody knows where everybody is and you were thrown up in your mouth a little bit when you saw it it's like it's the last thing you want do not use that app people need freedom but just to say how will God meet me and who he made me to be it's so easy I think for all of us but for me to look at other people's stories and wish I had theirs and of course when I look at 15 different people I only pick the best parts of their stories um in another but instead to settle into my story and to find God's presence there and purpose that wonderful statement of Dallas Willard where he says God has yet to bless anybody except where they actually are and if we keep throwing away situation after situation as not being right we will simply have no place for him to enter our lives our dogs are growling and barking so we probably never go I guess that's our story that's right too bad cuz we had some other really profound things profound but uh whatever your story is today just Embrace Your Story embrace your dog make it great find God in your story hey if you enjoyed that video be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you don't miss any future teachings from John orberg here at become new my name is Tim and I'm a part of the team here this series is all about stories everybody has a story and everybody's story matters and we want to know about your story whether it's a story of coming to Faith or a story of spiritual growth whatever it is we're here for you you can email that to us at connect becom new.com or you can text it to us you can also sign up for daily reminders whenever we drop a new video via text by texting the word become to the number 8558848401 to watch this is really a community to belong to and we're so glad that you're a part of it we'll catch you next time" [00:01:26]

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Transcript
What was the most surprising thing in this sermon?
Were there any personal stories shared?