Embracing Love: Overcoming Shame Through Divine Acceptance

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I used to think that I really didn't have a problem with shame. I thought that shame was kind of more for those poor losers, losers who have uh bad self-esteem, but I have discovered that I carry shame around in really deep ways, and actually always have in a sense. [00:01:16]

Eleanor Stump writes about how guilt and shame actually correspond to two dimensions of love. She says love involves both willing the good for the other person. If I love you, I want you to be healthy, I want you to learn and grow, I want you to have friends, but it also involves a will to Union. [00:03:02]

When we experience guilt, then I am afraid because I have done something wrong to you that you do not will my good, and that you're angry at me and that you want to punish me. But she says when I experience shame, that corresponds to the second dimension of love. [00:03:34]

Shame cannot be forgiven. Shame in a sense is a more difficult condition with which to deal because in shame I am afraid of being rejected, of being unwanted. She writes about how shame is closely connected with the notion of ugliness. I feel like there is something about me that would make you not want to be in relationship with me. [00:04:11]

Joseph Merrick, known as The Elephant Man, is somebody whose physical ugliness, whose appearance because he is so deformed, caused people to shrink from him, to not want him to be around, to want to reject him, to want him to be hidden, abandoned, isolated. [00:04:55]

Remarkable thing about Joseph Merrick was that although the world, you know, for the most part wanted to reject him, there was within him a beauty of spirit and of Courage. I am a human being, so that people who came to know him realized that he was a deeply beautiful human being. [00:06:26]

Part of what Joseph Merrick did was he refused to accept the standards by which other people would judge him as shame worthy. He refused to accept social standards of physical Beauty as the ultimate measure of his worth as a person. He scorned the shame. [00:06:51]

We are weighed down by shame. There's guilt in us that can be forgiven, but shame needs to be healed and it can only be healed as we are accepted and our life is somehow celebrated. And so Jesus went to the Cross. [00:07:17]

The Romans designed crucifixion not simply to be a means of execution but also a means of humiliation, a means to deeply shame the person who is crucified, to discourage anybody from following the kind of thing that they did. [00:08:04]

In Hebrews chapter 12, the writer of Hebrews says let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and the pioneer of our faith who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame. [00:08:45]

This is the defeat of Shame, this is the cleansing of Shame, this is the healing of Shame on the cross in his nakedness. Jesus bore our shame so that we could be liberated. [00:09:13]

God your heavenly Father and Jesus our good friend wants to be in Union with you. He doesn't just want good things for you and ultimately in eternity they will be available in ways beyond our wildest dreams, but he doesn't just want that, he wants to be your friend. [00:11:11]

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