Embracing Lament: Finding Healing in Our Grief

Summary

### Summary

Good morning, everyone. Today, we continue our summer journey through the Psalms, focusing on Psalm 137 and the themes of lament and grief. Over the past weeks, we've explored the joy of dwelling with God's people in Psalm 84 and the importance of a contrite heart in Psalm 51. Today, we delve into the raw emotions of lament, a significant part of the Psalms, which often express sorrow, grief, and complaints to God.

Lament is an invitation from God to bring our full human experience to Him. It's not something many of us have learned to do well, but it's crucial for our spiritual health. Grieving properly prevents us from becoming stuck in a cycle of depression or self-medication. Instead, God offers a way to find healing in our pain.

Psalm 137 vividly captures the deep sadness of the Hebrew people exiled in Babylon. Their lament is not a call for revenge but a cry for justice and a longing for their homeland, Jerusalem. This Psalm teaches us that it's okay to express our pain and seek God's justice.

Jesus Himself grieved and lamented, showing us that it's a natural part of the human experience. If we don't learn to handle our pain properly, we risk hurting others and creating broken relationships. Over the past two and a half years, I've been on a journey of learning to grieve and lament, realizing the importance of acknowledging and processing pain rather than ignoring it.

Lamenting involves admitting our new reality, sitting with our pain, and remembering what we've lost. It's essential to find beauty in our new circumstances and to share our grief with others. Isolation and loneliness are detrimental to our well-being, and the church should be a place where we can lament together.

We must also be careful not to lash out in our pain, as this is the world's way of lamenting. Instead, we should bring our pain to God, trusting that He hears us even when He seems silent. Lamenting is a way to sow in the soil of God's kingdom, leading to healing and wholeness.

In conclusion, lamenting and grieving are vital practices for our spiritual health. They allow us to process our pain, seek God's justice, and find healing in His presence. As we gather together, let's support one another in our grief and fix our eyes on the hope of God's ultimate restoration.

### Key Takeaways

1. Lament as an Invitation from God: Lamenting is an invitation from God to bring our full human experience to Him. It's not about seeking revenge but expressing our pain and longing for justice. This practice helps us process our emotions and prevents us from becoming stuck in cycles of depression or self-medication. [36:32]

2. Jesus' Example of Grieving: Jesus Himself grieved and lamented, showing us that it's a natural part of the human experience. If we don't learn to handle our pain properly, we risk hurting others and creating broken relationships. Acknowledging and processing pain is crucial for our spiritual health. [38:40]

3. Admitting Our New Reality: Lamenting involves admitting our new reality, sitting with our pain, and remembering what we've lost. It's essential to find beauty in our new circumstances and to share our grief with others. Isolation and loneliness are detrimental to our well-being, and the church should be a place where we can lament together. [41:31]

4. Avoiding the World's Way of Lamenting: We must be careful not to lash out in our pain, as this is the world's way of lamenting. Instead, we should bring our pain to God, trusting that He hears us even when He seems silent. Lamenting is a way to sow in the soil of God's kingdom, leading to healing and wholeness. [56:34]

5. Grief as a Passageway to Comfort: Grief is not ungodly; it is the passageway to receive comfort. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Ignoring our grief prevents us from experiencing God's healing. Grieving properly allows us to receive God's comfort and find hope in His ultimate restoration. [01:07:44]

### YouTube Chapters

1. [0:00] - Welcome
2. [34:50] - Reflecting on Past Psalms
3. [35:34] - The Importance of Revealing, Not Concealing
4. [36:32] - Introduction to Psalm 137
5. [37:32] - Learning to Lament and Grieve
6. [38:40] - Jesus' Example of Grieving
7. [40:15] - Personal Journey of Grieving
8. [41:31] - Admitting Our New Reality
9. [43:47] - Reading Psalm 137
10. [45:08] - Deep Sadness and Exile
11. [46:39] - Cry for Justice
12. [49:02] - Jesus' Teaching on Judgment
13. [51:15] - Dealing with Our Own Pain
14. [52:36] - Measure of Our Actions
15. [56:34] - Avoiding the World's Way of Lamenting
16. [01:00:03] - Sowing in God's Kingdom
17. [01:07:44] - Grief as a Passageway to Comfort
18. [01:09:14] - Practical Steps for Lamenting
19. [01:14:36] - Bearing One Another's Burdens
20. [01:22:02] - Fixing Our Eyes on Hope
21. [01:23:38] - Reflecting and Lamenting Together
22. [01:29:24] - Blessing and Dismissal

Study Guide

### Bible Study Discussion Guide

#### Bible Reading
1. Psalm 137:1-9 - "Beside the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept as we thought of Jerusalem. We put away our harps, hanging them on the branches of poplar trees. For our captors demanded a song from us. Our tormentors insisted on a joyful hymn: 'Sing us one of those songs of Jerusalem!' But how can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a pagan land? If I forget you, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget how to play the harp. May my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth if I fail to remember you, if I don’t make Jerusalem my greatest joy. O Lord, remember what the Edomites did on the day the armies of Babylon captured Jerusalem. 'Destroy it!' they yelled. 'Level it to the ground!' O Babylon, you will be destroyed. Happy is the one who pays you back for what you have done to us. Happy is the one who takes your babies and smashes them against the rocks!"

#### Observation Questions
1. What emotions are expressed by the Hebrew people in Psalm 137, and what are they lamenting? [43:47]
2. According to the sermon, what is the significance of lamenting and grieving in our spiritual health? [36:32]
3. How does the sermon describe Jesus' approach to grief and lament? [38:40]
4. What are the dangers of not properly handling our pain and grief, as mentioned in the sermon? [41:31]

#### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it important to bring our full human experience, including our pain and grief, to God? [36:32]
2. How does Jesus' example of grieving and lamenting provide a model for us to follow? [38:40]
3. What does it mean to "admit our new reality" in the context of lamenting, and why is this step crucial? [41:31]
4. How can the church become a place where people feel safe to lament and grieve together? [41:31]

#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you experienced deep pain or grief. How did you handle it, and did you bring it to God? If not, what prevented you from doing so? [36:32]
2. Jesus grieved and lamented openly. How can you incorporate His example into your own life when dealing with sorrow or loss? [38:40]
3. Think about a recent change or loss in your life. Have you taken the time to admit this new reality and grieve it properly? What steps can you take to do so? [41:31]
4. In what ways can you support others in your church or community who are going through a season of lament and grief? How can you create a safe space for them? [41:31]
5. The sermon warns against lashing out in our pain. Have you ever found yourself doing this? How can you shift from lashing out to bringing your pain to God? [56:34]
6. How can you find beauty and life-giving moments in your current season of grief or lament? What practical steps can you take to seek out these moments? [41:31]
7. Isolation and loneliness are detrimental to our well-being. How can you ensure that you are not isolating yourself in your grief? What community or support systems can you lean on? [41:31]

Devotional

Day 1: Lament as an Invitation from God
Lamenting is an invitation from God to bring our full human experience to Him. It's not about seeking revenge but expressing our pain and longing for justice. This practice helps us process our emotions and prevents us from becoming stuck in cycles of depression or self-medication. Lamenting allows us to be honest with God about our struggles and to seek His presence in our pain. It is a way to acknowledge our suffering and to trust that God is with us, even in our darkest moments.

Psalm 137 vividly captures the deep sadness of the Hebrew people exiled in Babylon. Their lament is not a call for revenge but a cry for justice and a longing for their homeland, Jerusalem. This Psalm teaches us that it's okay to express our pain and seek God's justice. By bringing our sorrows to God, we open ourselves to His healing and comfort. [36:32]

Psalm 137:1-4 (ESV)
"By the waters of Babylon, there we sat down and wept, when we remembered Zion. On the willows there we hung up our lyres. For there our captors required of us songs, and our tormentors, mirth, saying, 'Sing us one of the songs of Zion!' How shall we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land?"

Reflection: Think of a recent situation where you felt deep pain or sorrow. How can you bring this pain to God in prayer today, trusting Him to hear and comfort you?

Day 2: Jesus' Example of Grieving
Jesus Himself grieved and lamented, showing us that it's a natural part of the human experience. If we don't learn to handle our pain properly, we risk hurting others and creating broken relationships. Acknowledging and processing pain is crucial for our spiritual health. Jesus' example teaches us that grieving is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step towards healing and wholeness.

In the Gospels, we see Jesus weeping over Jerusalem and mourning the death of His friend Lazarus. These moments reveal His deep compassion and empathy for human suffering. By following Jesus' example, we can learn to grieve in a way that brings us closer to God and to one another. [38:40]

John 11:33-35 (ESV)
"When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.' Jesus wept."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you experienced grief. How did you handle it? How can you follow Jesus' example of grieving and bring your pain to God today?

Day 3: Admitting Our New Reality
Lamenting involves admitting our new reality, sitting with our pain, and remembering what we've lost. It's essential to find beauty in our new circumstances and to share our grief with others. Isolation and loneliness are detrimental to our well-being, and the church should be a place where we can lament together.

Admitting our new reality means acknowledging the changes and losses we have experienced. It requires us to be honest about our feelings and to seek support from our community. By sharing our grief with others, we can find comfort and strength in knowing that we are not alone. The church can be a place of healing where we bear one another's burdens and support each other through difficult times. [41:31]

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 (ESV)
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance."

Reflection: Think about a recent change or loss in your life. How can you admit this new reality and find beauty in your current circumstances? Who can you share your grief with today?

Day 4: Avoiding the World's Way of Lamenting
We must be careful not to lash out in our pain, as this is the world's way of lamenting. Instead, we should bring our pain to God, trusting that He hears us even when He seems silent. Lamenting is a way to sow in the soil of God's kingdom, leading to healing and wholeness.

The world's way of lamenting often involves anger, bitterness, and seeking revenge. This approach only leads to more pain and brokenness. In contrast, bringing our pain to God allows us to find true healing and peace. By trusting in God's justice and timing, we can let go of our desire for revenge and find comfort in His presence. [56:34]

Romans 12:19-21 (ESV)
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt the urge to lash out in your pain. How can you bring this pain to God today and trust Him to bring justice and healing?

Day 5: Grief as a Passageway to Comfort
Grief is not ungodly; it is the passageway to receive comfort. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Ignoring our grief prevents us from experiencing God's healing. Grieving properly allows us to receive God's comfort and find hope in His ultimate restoration.

Grief is a natural and necessary part of the healing process. By allowing ourselves to mourn, we open our hearts to God's comfort and presence. Jesus' promise that those who mourn will be comforted assures us that our grief is not in vain. It is through our tears and sorrow that we can experience God's deep and abiding love. [01:07:44]

Isaiah 61:1-3 (ESV)
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."

Reflection: Think about a recent loss or sorrow in your life. How can you allow yourself to grieve and receive God's comfort today? What steps can you take to find hope in His ultimate restoration?

Quotes

1. "But he needs us to reveal it, not conceal it. He needs us to reveal those things. Bring those things into the light. And today we're going to look at that idea from another perspective. As we get into Psalms 137. And we're going to look at the subject of lament and grief. And how we experience. Express those things to the Lord. And how those are invitations of God for us." [35:34] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

2. "We have a tendency to grieve. We have a tendency to grieve so much that we can find ourselves stuck in a cul-de-sac and find ourselves depressed. And that's not really what God is after. He's not looking for us to become self-medicated and try to self-soothe our pain. He actually wants to give us a way of finding healing in the midst of our pain. And he's giving us some guidance and some things in scripture that I think help us to do that." [37:32] (23 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

3. "In this world, you will experience pain and you will experience brokenness and you will experience heartache and you will experience loss because of death. And if we don't learn the proper way, according to the scriptures to handle those things, we will begin to. Mishandle relationships and hurt people, hurt other people, broken people, create broken relationships. That's a part of our existence." [38:40] (37 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

4. "When we do experience that, how we respond and what we do in response to that, I think the Bible has some things to offer to us. To be honest, over the last. Uh, two and a half years, I feel like I've been on an accelerated crash course, learning how to do this. I started actually meeting, um, online. Uh, there's an invitation of, of a friend of mine who is a therapist, um, inviting several pastors into like a, a once a month kind of group share, if you will." [40:15] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

5. "We have to learn how to actually do relationship together. That when pain and hurt comes, we actually run to each other, not away from each other, hurling accusations as we do. And sometimes you experience those kinds of things in your own relationships and they hurt. And if we don't deal with them, well, we'll find ourselves living broken and unhealed in areas that God longs to bring us healing and wholeness." [41:31] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

6. "When you see an injustice, how you respond to that injustice. What's your action that you take? Are you publicly taking to the forum of social media to slander and to call out? And because there's an injustice that has been done and it needs to be made known and we've got to get it right. And we become keyboard thumb warriors for a God. Trying to live out sometimes the gifts and the callings that God never actually placed on our lives." [49:02] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

7. "We have to be aware that there is a measure of what we use. A measure of what we do in our lives. And our interaction with one another. It matters. Our own hurt and our own pain. It matters. It matters because when we allow Jesus to heal it. Then healed people can help heal people. But wounded people still wound people." [52:36] (22 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

8. "Where we are not honest with God about our pain and heartache. We actually are revealing how little we trust God's capacity. To bring healing to us. So as long as you're manning up and doing it your own way. And we're just going to move on and get through. You're just trying to be your own healer. But you don't have the capacity to really heal. Yourself. And we're actually acknowledging and rejecting God himself. Who can heal. All wounds." [54:33] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

9. "Time does not heal all wounds friends. Jesus heals all wounds in time. And this is the invitation that we have from God. And some would say pastor isn't lamenting just prayer. I don't think prayer helps me in those moments of heartache and pain. I get it. Lisa Harper said it really great the other day. She said prayers may go unanswered. But no they are not unheard. We often falsely perceive God's silence for his absence. Just because God is silent doesn't mean he is absent friends. God is present. God cares. And God hears you." [55:16] (43 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

10. "When we lash out. We are operating in the world's false substitute for lament. You can say it another way. Lashing out is the worldly way of lamenting. When we lash out. We are lashing out often to indict. To condemn. To separate. To divide. But when we lament. We are confessing our pain. Our disappointment. And often times what we find ourselves doing in an attempt. Because we haven't really learned how to lament properly." [56:34] (33 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)

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Transcript

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