Embracing Lament: Finding Comfort in Grief

 

Summary

### Summary

Today, we explored the profound and often misunderstood Beatitude: "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." We began with a personal story about my uncle's funeral, where the cultural practice of wailing was abruptly halted by a well-meaning pastor. This incident highlighted the tension between authentic mourning and forced praise. We then delved into the question of how Jesus would guide us through loss, emphasizing that the Christian way of dealing with grief is not to suppress it but to embrace it through lament.

Lament, as we discussed, is more than just feeling sorrow or going through the stages of grief. It is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. This concept is deeply rooted in the Bible, especially in the Psalms, where nearly 43% are Psalms of lament. These Psalms teach us to direct our complaints to God, describe our suffering, depend on Him, and ultimately trust in His goodness.

We also examined how Jesus Himself practiced lament, particularly in His cry from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This was not just an expression of despair but a reference to Psalm 22, a Psalm of lament that transitions from anguish to trust in God's faithfulness.

I shared my personal journey of lament following the loss of my daughter, Emma. This experience taught me the depth of God's comfort and the importance of leaning into the pain rather than shutting it down. Through this journey, I discovered that lament leads to a deeper trust in God and equips us to comfort others with the comfort we have received.

Finally, we discussed the communal aspect of lament and how it can transform a community into one that genuinely empathizes and supports each other through suffering. The promise of lament is not just comfort in this life but the eternal hope that all our pain will be fully healed when we see Jesus face to face.

### Key Takeaways

1. Authentic Mourning vs. Forced Praise: Authentic mourning is essential for genuine healing. Suppressing grief and forcing praise can shut the door to true emotional and spiritual healing. Jesus teaches us to embrace our pain and bring it to God, who meets us in our suffering. [02:45]

2. Lament as a Path to Trust: Lament is more than sorrow; it is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. By directing our complaints to God, describing our suffering, and depending on Him, we move from anguish to a deeper trust in His goodness and faithfulness. [13:13]

3. Jesus' Example of Lament: Jesus Himself practiced lament, especially in His cry from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This was a reference to Psalm 22, a Psalm of lament that transitions from despair to trust in God. Jesus shows us that lament is a vital part of our spiritual journey. [21:14]

4. Personal Journey of Lament: My personal experience of losing my daughter taught me the depth of God's comfort. Leaning into the pain and lamenting before God led to a deeper trust in Him. This journey also equipped me to comfort others with the comfort I received from God. [25:09]

5. Communal Lament and Eternal Hope: A community that knows how to lament together becomes a source of genuine empathy and support. The promise of lament is not just comfort in this life but the eternal hope that all our pain will be fully healed when we see Jesus face to face. [40:38]

### YouTube Chapters

[0:00] - Welcome
[01:35] - Story of My Uncle's Funeral
[02:45] - How Jesus Guides Us Through Loss
[03:38] - Introduction to the Beatitudes
[05:10] - Review of Last Week's Sermon
[06:35] - The Way of Lament
[07:22] - Theological Context of Mourning
[09:20] - Personal and Societal Loss
[10:57] - Mourning and Weeping
[13:13] - Definition of Lament
[15:08] - Psalms of Lament
[18:32] - Jesus' Experience of Lament
[21:14] - Jesus' Cry from the Cross
[25:09] - Personal Journey of Lament
[32:51] - God's Comfort in Lament
[35:38] - Leaning into the Pain
[40:38] - Communal Lament and Eternal Hope
[45:00] - Closing Prayer

Study Guide

### Bible Reading
1. Matthew 5:4 (NIV) - "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
2. Psalm 22:1-5 (NIV) - "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises. In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted and were not put to shame."
3. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV) - "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."

### Observation Questions
1. What does Jesus promise to those who mourn in Matthew 5:4?
2. In Psalm 22, how does the psalmist transition from expressing anguish to expressing trust in God? ([22:21])
3. According to 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, what is the purpose of the comfort we receive from God?
4. How did Jesus exemplify lament during His crucifixion, as mentioned in the sermon? ([21:14])

### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it important to embrace mourning rather than suppress it, according to the sermon? ([02:45])
2. How does the practice of lament lead to a deeper trust in God, as illustrated by Psalm 22? ([22:21])
3. What role does communal lament play in transforming a community, based on the sermon? ([40:38])
4. How did the pastor's personal journey of lament following the loss of his daughter illustrate the depth of God's comfort? ([25:09])

### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you experienced significant loss. How did you handle your mourning? Did you suppress it or embrace it? ([02:45])
2. How can you incorporate the practice of lament into your daily prayer life, especially during times of pain and suffering? ([13:13])
3. Think of someone in your life who is currently mourning. How can you offer them comfort in a way that reflects the comfort you have received from God? ([38:57])
4. In what ways can our small group become a community that supports each other through communal lament? ([40:38])
5. How can you lean into your pain and allow God to meet you there, rather than shutting it down or self-medicating? ([35:38])
6. What steps can you take to develop a deeper trust in God through your own experiences of lament and mourning? ([17:56])
7. How does the promise of eternal hope influence your perspective on current suffering and loss? ([41:09])

Devotional

Day 1: Embracing Authentic Mourning
Authentic mourning is essential for genuine healing. Suppressing grief and forcing praise can shut the door to true emotional and spiritual healing. Jesus teaches us to embrace our pain and bring it to God, who meets us in our suffering. Authentic mourning allows us to experience the depth of our emotions and to process our grief in a healthy way. It is through this process that we can find true comfort and healing.

In our culture, there is often a tendency to rush through grief or to put on a brave face. However, Jesus' teaching in the Beatitudes reminds us that those who mourn will be comforted. This comfort comes not from avoiding our pain but from facing it head-on and bringing it to God. By doing so, we open ourselves up to His healing presence and allow Him to work in our hearts. [02:45]

Psalm 34:18 (ESV): "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."

Reflection: Think of a recent loss or disappointment you have experienced. How can you bring your authentic mourning to God today, trusting that He will meet you in your pain?


Day 2: Lament as a Path to Trust
Lament is more than sorrow; it is a prayer in pain that leads to trust. By directing our complaints to God, describing our suffering, and depending on Him, we move from anguish to a deeper trust in His goodness and faithfulness. Lament is a biblical practice that allows us to express our deepest emotions and to seek God's presence in the midst of our pain.

The Psalms of lament teach us that it is okay to bring our complaints and questions to God. He is big enough to handle our doubts and fears. As we pour out our hearts to Him, we can find comfort in knowing that He hears us and that He is with us. Lament is not about staying in a place of despair but about moving through it to a place of trust and hope in God's faithfulness. [13:13]

Psalm 13:1-2 (ESV): "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?"

Reflection: What is one area of your life where you are struggling to trust God? How can you use the practice of lament to bring your pain and questions to Him today?


Day 3: Jesus' Example of Lament
Jesus Himself practiced lament, especially in His cry from the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" This was a reference to Psalm 22, a Psalm of lament that transitions from despair to trust in God. Jesus shows us that lament is a vital part of our spiritual journey. His example teaches us that it is okay to express our deepest emotions and to seek God's presence in our suffering.

Jesus' cry from the cross reminds us that He understands our pain and that He is with us in our darkest moments. By following His example, we can find comfort in knowing that we are not alone in our suffering. Lament allows us to connect with God on a deeper level and to experience His presence in a powerful way. [21:14]

Psalm 22:1-2 (ESV): "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt abandoned or forsaken. How can you follow Jesus' example of lament and bring your pain to God, trusting that He is with you?


Day 4: Personal Journey of Lament
My personal experience of losing my daughter taught me the depth of God's comfort. Leaning into the pain and lamenting before God led to a deeper trust in Him. This journey also equipped me to comfort others with the comfort I received from God. Lament is not just about expressing our pain but about finding God's presence and comfort in the midst of it.

Through the process of lament, we can experience God's healing and transformation. As we bring our pain to Him, we can find hope and strength to move forward. This journey of lament also allows us to empathize with others who are suffering and to offer them the same comfort we have received from God. [25:09]

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV): "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

Reflection: Think of someone in your life who is going through a difficult time. How can you offer them comfort and support, drawing from your own experiences of God's comfort?


Day 5: Communal Lament and Eternal Hope
A community that knows how to lament together becomes a source of genuine empathy and support. The promise of lament is not just comfort in this life but the eternal hope that all our pain will be fully healed when we see Jesus face to face. Lamenting together as a community allows us to bear one another's burdens and to support each other through difficult times.

By practicing communal lament, we can create a culture of empathy and compassion within our church. This allows us to walk alongside each other in our pain and to offer support and encouragement. The hope of eternal healing gives us the strength to persevere through our suffering, knowing that one day all our pain will be wiped away. [40:38]

Revelation 21:4 (ESV): "He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

Reflection: How can you participate in communal lament within your church or community? What steps can you take to support others in their pain and to create a culture of empathy and compassion?

Quotes

### Quotes for Outreach

1. "Lament is a prayer in pain that leads. Lament is a prayer. You're calling out. You're crying out to someone for help. For comfort. For healing. For restoration. It's a prayer to God. But it's coming from a place of pain and loss. Suffering. Misery. That actually leads us. I think that's what Jesus is talking about here. Blessed are those who mourn. Who lament. We're going to experience a kind of comfort. And we're going to know that God is trustworthy." [13:58] (54 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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2. "No matter what we go through. No matter how hard life is. No matter what shots we take. God is more than enough for us. And it's going to build our trust. That's what a lament is. And you don't realize it. But the lament is all throughout the Old Testament. Especially the book of Psalms. The book of Psalms is the hymn book of not only the Jews. And the people of God in the Old Testament. But the most of Christian history." [14:41] (25 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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3. "Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. The reason is they will be comforted. But this is the situation. Blessed are those who mourn. Now, I'm going to talk about more specific aspects of what it's like to mourn and to grieve and to weep. But actually, you know, I'm going to step back and say the Sermon on the Mount, when you look at it from a theological lens, he's talking big picture stuff about Israel mourning the fact that they lost their homeland." [06:35] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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4. "We give God our brokenness. He gives us his healing by his shed blood, right? We give God our sin. He gives us his robes of righteousness. We give God our sense of loneliness and alienation. He gives us family. We give God our brokenness and our lament. And he gives us laughter. For our weeping. If we walk with him through this." [37:49] (26 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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5. "Can you imagine a community that knows how to lament and not shut it all down. Not have to show in front of everybody else look, I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. God is good. But instead say, oh this hurts. And then together pray it for him. Depend on him. Call on him to come. Wait and trust. It might take it took me, it took God five years to come and release a big part of this from me. But he never let me go." [39:32] (33 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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### Quotes for Members

1. "How do you mourn and wail? It is actually the description of what it means to mourn. How do you lament? Lament is such a biblical term. I like this quote. It helps us a little. In the Bible, lament is more than sorrow. I feel sad, which is important. Or talking about sadness. It's more than walking through the stages of grief. Whether you think it's five or it's seven or eight. Lament is a prayer in pain that leads." [13:13] (36 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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2. "I know what it's like to feel a kind of pain that I would never wish on my worst enemies if I had them. It's a pain that still rocks me, but and it still comes up. You know, I've only been here for six and a half, seven months now, and sometimes in conversation people ask innocent questions. Questions like, oh, how many children do you have? And I'll say, I had two, but my daughter just graduated from college. It's my wife saying, I've been through something." [25:09] (39 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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3. "I remember God working in my heart every step of the way from the beginning, and yet it was so hard. It still is. I would cry out to Him and I would say, what do you want from me? And you know He would answer. He always answered. That's what I want from you. Sometimes the pain would get so bad. I mean, this is people who go through grief understand this. My brain stopped working right. I couldn't remember people's names. I couldn't remember theological stuff." [29:19] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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4. "Psychologists will say, if you shut down your heart and your feelings, it's not like you can just shut down your pain and everything else is fine. It's like a switch. It's an on-off. You cannot be joyful. You cannot experience the range of what it means to be human, even in your emotions, if you shut off just your pain. You have to go through it. You have to learn to lament through it. And then something happens in your person through God's grace and his presence." [37:16] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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5. "Can you imagine the kind of empathy that the people all around us who are broken and experience loss and shut down their feelings or just angry they don't know how to process it through when they come into a community. But the Kingdom of God is expressed through lament. But we know what it looks like to go from weeping. What a blessed community we get to be." [40:03] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
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