Embracing Lament: Courage and Hope in Advent
Summary
Advent is a season that speaks directly to those whose hearts are breaking, who are troubled by the state of the world. It is a time for radical acceptance, but not in the way that might be misconstrued as apathy or avoidance of difficult truths. Radical acceptance is not a convenient escape from hardship, nor is it a lack of engagement with the world's issues. Instead, it involves facing the darkness and suffering with deep courage, as exemplified in the Christmas story—a narrative filled with both beauty and profound darkness.
The prayers found in the Psalms are not gentle exercises in acceptance but are often protests. They reflect a need for validation, a crucial element for emotional health and well-being. Validation does not mean agreement but rather acknowledgment and understanding of one's feelings. This is essential for growth and the ability to offer radical acceptance to others. We find this validation in God, who hears our cries and cares about our pain.
Ellen Davis, in her book "Getting Involved with God," highlights the surprising nature of the Psalms, which often begin with personal anguish and accusations against God. These laments are not polite; they are raw and honest, reflecting a belief that God cares about our suffering and can be expected to act. This form of prayer is unique to Israel, where people dared to speak to God with such forthrightness.
The Psalms often move from complaint to confidence in God, even when external circumstances remain unchanged. This shift occurs because the psalmist breaks the isolation of silence, knowing that God has heard. God is the one who validates our broken hearts and wounded souls. The realism of the Bible acknowledges that prayers may not be answered as we expect, but the act of lamenting and protesting is itself an expression of faith.
In the Advent story, the slaughter of the innocents by King Herod is a reminder of the world's darkness. Rachel's refusal to be comforted is a powerful testament to the need for honest lamentation. Advent is not merely preparation for Christmas but a time to anticipate the second coming of Jesus when all will be set right. Until then, we lament, protest, and hold onto the belief that God cares.
What do you need to lament today? Where do you need to be honest with God? This is faith; this is Advent.
Key Takeaways:
1. Radical Acceptance and Courage: Radical acceptance is not about avoiding difficulties but facing them with courage. It involves acknowledging the darkness and suffering in our lives and the world, as seen in the Christmas story. This acceptance requires deep courage and engagement with the world's issues. [00:49]
2. The Power of Validation: Emotional health and well-being require validation, which means acknowledging and understanding one's feelings. This validation is crucial for growth and the ability to offer radical acceptance to others. We find this validation in God, who hears our cries and cares about our pain. [02:01]
3. Honest Lamentation: The Psalms teach us the importance of honest lamentation. They are raw and forthright, reflecting a belief that God cares about our suffering and can be expected to act. This form of prayer is unique to Israel, where people dared to speak to God with such honesty. [05:32]
4. Movement from Complaint to Confidence: The Psalms often move from complaint to confidence in God, even when external circumstances remain unchanged. This shift occurs because the psalmist breaks the isolation of silence, knowing that God has heard. God is the one who validates our broken hearts and wounded souls. [06:30]
5. Advent as a Time of Lament and Anticipation: Advent is not just preparation for Christmas but a time to anticipate the second coming of Jesus when all will be set right. Until then, we lament, protest, and hold onto the belief that God cares. This is faith; this is Advent. [10:18]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:23] - Advent for the Troubled Heart
- [00:35] - Misconceptions of Radical Acceptance
- [01:02] - Embracing Dark Truths
- [01:24] - The Nature of Biblical Prayers
- [01:49] - The Need for Validation
- [03:02] - Finding Validation in God
- [03:29] - The Surprising Nature of the Psalms
- [04:09] - Honest Lamentation in Prayer
- [05:01] - God's Care for Our Pain
- [06:02] - Human Words to God
- [06:30] - Movement from Complaint to Confidence
- [07:16] - Realism in Biblical Prayer
- [08:15] - The Slaughter of the Innocents
- [10:18] - Advent as Anticipation of Christ's Return
- [11:19] - The Call to Lament and Protest
Study Guide
Bible Study Discussion Guide: Advent and Radical Acceptance
Bible Reading:
1. Psalm 13:1-6 - A Psalm of lament moving from complaint to confidence.
2. Jeremiah 31:15 - Rachel weeping for her children, refusing to be comforted.
3. Matthew 2:16-18 - The slaughter of the innocents by King Herod.
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Observation Questions:
1. In Psalm 13, how does the psalmist express their feelings of abandonment and despair? What shift occurs by the end of the passage?
2. What is the significance of Rachel's lament in Jeremiah 31:15, and how does it relate to the Advent story? [08:45]
3. How does the account of King Herod's actions in Matthew 2:16-18 highlight the darkness present in the Christmas story? [08:15]
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Interpretation Questions:
1. How does the concept of radical acceptance challenge common misconceptions about avoiding difficulties or conflict? [00:35]
2. What role does validation play in emotional health, and how does this relate to our relationship with God as seen in the Psalms? [02:01]
3. How does the movement from complaint to confidence in the Psalms reflect a deeper understanding of faith and God's role in our suffering? [06:30]
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Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a personal situation where you have avoided facing a difficult truth. How can you apply radical acceptance to this situation with courage? [00:49]
2. Identify an area in your life where you feel invalidated. How can you seek validation from God in this area, and how might this change your perspective? [03:02]
3. Think of a time when you have been honest with God about your struggles. How did this honesty impact your faith and relationship with Him? [03:56]
4. In what ways can you incorporate the practice of lament into your prayer life, especially during the Advent season? [09:00]
5. How can the anticipation of Christ's second coming influence your approach to current world issues and personal challenges? [10:18]
6. Consider a specific area of your life where you need to protest or lament. What steps can you take to express this honestly to God? [11:19]
7. How can you support others in your community who are experiencing deep pain or loss, reflecting the validation and care that God offers? [05:01]
Devotional
Day 1: Embracing Darkness with Courage
Radical acceptance is not about avoiding difficulties but facing them with courage. It involves acknowledging the darkness and suffering in our lives and the world, as seen in the Christmas story. This acceptance requires deep courage and engagement with the world's issues. [00:49]
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of darkness in your life that you have been avoiding? How can you courageously face it today with God's help?
Day 2: The Healing Power of Validation
Emotional health and well-being require validation, which means acknowledging and understanding one's feelings. This validation is crucial for growth and the ability to offer radical acceptance to others. We find this validation in God, who hears our cries and cares about our pain. [02:01]
"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a recent time when you felt invalidated. How can you seek God's validation and extend that same understanding to someone else today?
Day 3: The Honesty of Lament
The Psalms teach us the importance of honest lamentation. They are raw and forthright, reflecting a belief that God cares about our suffering and can be expected to act. This form of prayer is unique to Israel, where people dared to speak to God with such honesty. [05:32]
"Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! O Lord, hear my voice! Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!" (Psalm 130:1-2, ESV)
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to be brutally honest with God? How can you express this in prayer today?
Day 4: From Complaint to Confidence
The Psalms often move from complaint to confidence in God, even when external circumstances remain unchanged. This shift occurs because the psalmist breaks the isolation of silence, knowing that God has heard. God is the one who validates our broken hearts and wounded souls. [06:30]
"But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me." (Psalm 13:5-6, ESV)
Reflection: Identify a complaint you have been holding onto. How can you transform this complaint into a declaration of trust in God's faithfulness today?
Day 5: Advent as a Season of Lament and Hope
Advent is not just preparation for Christmas but a time to anticipate the second coming of Jesus when all will be set right. Until then, we lament, protest, and hold onto the belief that God cares. This is faith; this is Advent. [10:18]
"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God." (Romans 8:19, ESV)
Reflection: As you reflect on the Advent season, what is one area of your life where you are longing for God's intervention? How can you hold onto hope and faith in His promises today?
Quotes
"Radical acceptance is not a convenient way to get out of difficulty. Radical acceptance is not apathy about what's going on in the world. It's not a lack of prophetic zeal or activism or involvement. It is not a soft path that allows me to not have to face difficulties. It is not an excuse for conflict avoidance or difficult conversations. It is none of those things. It encompasses a very dark truth and suffering and the need for deep courage." [00:38:00]
"The great majority of them are protests, and there's a very important reason for this. Folks who work with emotional health and attachment and doing research into human well-being will say that for a child to grow up and be able to accept, face, and surrender to the reality that is around me, one of the things that I need is what they will call validation." [01:38:00]
"Now as we grow older, all of us carry wounds, and we need to find deep validation not just because all of our families were imperfect but because our world is messed up and there is brokenness inside of us. Where do we go to find validation, utter acceptance for our souls that will allow us to grow into people who are able to offer radical acceptance?" [02:51:84]
"Ellen writes what they show is the belief that God cares about my pain and can be expected to do something about it. This is a remarkable assumption when you think about it, which we hardly ever do, that the God who made heaven and earth should care that I am hurting. Yet it is the only thing that explains this strange style of biblical prayer." [04:56:32]
"In no other culture did people pray to the high God in language that was so strong, so forthright, even so rude. Wake up, God, why are you sleeping? We haven't forgotten you, why have you forgotten us? And it is striking too that the rest of the scripture is put mostly in the form of God's words to us through the prophets or the letters of Paul or the narrative stories of Israel or Jesus." [05:38:72]
"The lament psalms regularly trace a movement from complaint to confidence in God, from desperate petition to anticipatory praise, yet they make that move without ever telling us that the external situation has changed for the better. What has changed is the psalmist's experience of suffering, and perhaps that has changed because she has dared to break the isolation of silence and knows that God is heard." [06:23:12]
"The fact that the psalms never clearly reported change in external circumstances is one mark of the Bible's persistent realism. Prayer is not always answered in the terms we expect and long for. The answer may be given in a way that is not even perceptible to someone looking at the situation from the outside." [07:06:00]
"In the middle of the Advent story is a description of how King Herod, in order to protect his throne, decided that he would kill all the baby boys around the vicinity of Bethlehem. It's called the slaughter of the innocents, and there's a verse taken from the Old Testament to describe the lament, Rachel weeping for her children." [08:08:80]
"Rachel mourning for her children and refusing to be comforted. No cliches, no trite expressions of faith, no everything's gonna be okay, no chirpy saccharine spirituality. Refusing to be comforted, I will not be comforted, I will not make you feel better by saying that I am in less pain than I actually am in. I protest, I lament." [08:43:44]
"People very often think of this time of year as a time of getting ready for Christmas, but it's not. We've kind of turned Advent, which is part of the church year, into the Christmas season. Advent is primarily getting ready not for the coming of Christmas but for the next coming of Jesus when he must set everything right." [10:04:32]
"That's part of our calling too. What is at the heart of it is the belief that in the midst of what we do not know and that we must name, that we must lament, that we must protest, there is a God who cares. That too is what it is to be human, that too is faith." [11:12:16]
"What do you need to lament? What do you need to protest? Where do you need to be honest with God? I will not put a ribbon on this, I will not put a ribbon on this because I don't need a ribbon in my own life, I don't have one. This too is faith, this too is Advent." [11:39:60]
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