Embracing Joy: The Essential Fun in Marriage

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And while the word fun is not directly in the Bible, the Bible does have a lot to say about enjoyment, delight, pleasure, laughter, rejoicing. In other words, God is not a fuddy dud. Our relationship with him is meant to be filled with delight and wonder and joy and satisfaction and laughter and rejoicing. [00:03:09] (30 seconds)


Having fun is not optional. It's essential. Too many marriages become stale, distant, or business-like partnerships because they lack intentional fun. Our marriage, John and I's, has been stale, distant, and business-like at times over the 20 years that we've been married. And we've had to work at having fun. We've had to be intentional with fun. [00:06:53] (31 seconds)


Face-to-face fun, being present with one another, though, is the key to a healthy and thriving marriage. Every single one of us has a deep desire to be seen and to be known. And we are seen and we are known by our Father in heaven. And we desire to be seen and known fully by our spouse. [00:10:14] (25 seconds)


Face-to-face fun, being present with one another, is not just the deep questions either. It's also the fun stuff, the playful, the inside jokes, the compliments, the building each other up, face-to-face, being present with one another. Our relationships are at their best when we are having intimate, ongoing conversations. [00:10:39] (23 seconds)


Time that is guarded and set aside each week to be face-to-face and present with one another. Full transparency, John and I have not always been the best with this. We make substitutes. We make excuses. This is pulling our attention. We need to do that. We don't have time for this. But without the consistent, guarded, face-to-face time, our relationship lacks. [00:11:41] (25 seconds)


The side-to-side fun is where we're open, and we're entering each other's worlds, where we say yes to things we may not necessarily enjoy, but we're willing to say yes because it's going to help strengthen our relationship. As many of you know, John loves to golf. I hate golf. It's long. It's inconsistent. I'd rather watch paint dry. [00:16:00] (32 seconds)


And he's doing the same for me. It's entering each other's world. It's having and being open to say yes to things that maybe would not be our yes. All right, ladies, quick tip. Generally speaking, all right, generally speaking, we're oftentimes looking for our guys to open up and talk more, right? No? None of you. None of you. None of you want your guys to talk more to you. Okay, great. I do. [00:18:02] (27 seconds)


And if it's essential, then we need to implement the face-to-face time. We need to implement the side-to-side time. We need to be present. We need to be open. And third, we need to implement belly-to-belly fun. We need to be intimate. Yes, this one is about sex. Thank you, John Neal, for letting me tackle this one on my own. [00:19:28] (29 seconds)


Sex is a gift from God. It's one of the blessings that he's given us. And this blessing, this gift that he's given us, I want to clearly state that this gift of sex is given to us in the context of God's design for marriage. This gift of sex is a gift only when it's happening in the context of God's design for marriage. [00:20:52] (25 seconds)


Sex is actually an act of worship unto the Lord. Sex is spiritual. It's supernatural. It's a way that we can serve one another in the marriage. It's a way that we can actually glorify God. It brings us together like nothing else. Sex is a gift from God, and it has a way of connecting us spiritually like nothing else. [00:24:21] (26 seconds)


Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in scripture, the two become one. Since we want to become spiritually one with the master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever. The kind of sex that can never become one. Intimacy is not sex. Intimacy is connection, commitment, communication. [00:30:22] (38 seconds)


The gift of marriage. Marriage is about serving one another. Marriage in the Bible actually reflects God's relationship with the church. Do you know that? He's passionate about his bride. He's passionate about us as his people. And if life this side of heaven is about becoming more like Jesus. Preparing us for eternity. We should be doing everything we can to please the Lord. [00:32:57] (29 seconds)


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