Embracing Joy: The Essential Fun in Marriage
Summary
In our journey through this series, we have explored the importance of seeking God, fighting fair, and now, we delve into the joy of having fun in our marriages. The essence of a God-honoring marriage is not just about enduring the challenges but also about embracing the joy and delight that God intends for us. While the Bible may not explicitly mention "fun," it speaks volumes about joy, laughter, and rejoicing. Our relationship with God and our spouses should be filled with these elements, reflecting the joy that Jesus himself exuded during his time on earth.
Having fun in marriage is not a luxury; it is essential. Many marriages become stale and business-like because they lack intentional fun. To counter this, we must incorporate three types of fun into our relationships: face-to-face, side-to-side, and belly-to-belly fun. Face-to-face fun involves being present, engaging in meaningful conversations, and setting aside distractions. It is about being seen and known by our spouse, just as we are by God. A practical way to achieve this is through consistent date nights, which foster intimacy and connection.
Side-to-side fun is about openness and sharing experiences. It involves entering each other's worlds and saying yes to activities that may not be our first choice but strengthen our bond. This type of fun is crucial for building respect and friendship, especially for men who often crave shared experiences with their wives.
Belly-to-belly fun, or intimacy, is about the physical and spiritual connection that God designed for marriage. Sex is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage. It is not just a physical act but a spiritual one that unites us deeply. We must prioritize healing and growth in this area, recognizing that intimacy is a form of worship and a way to glorify God.
In conclusion, fun is not optional in marriage; it is essential. By embracing these types of fun, we can cultivate a marriage that reflects God's joy and design, strengthening our bond and honoring Him in the process.
Key Takeaways:
1. The Importance of Fun in Marriage: Fun is not a luxury but an essential component of a thriving marriage. It prevents relationships from becoming stale and business-like, fostering joy and connection. By prioritizing fun, we honor God's design for marriage and reflect His joy in our lives. [06:22]
2. Face-to-Face Fun: Being present with our spouse through meaningful conversations and undistracted time is crucial. This type of fun allows us to be seen and known, fulfilling a deep desire in our hearts. Consistent date nights are a practical way to cultivate this connection. [10:39]
3. Side-to-Side Fun: Sharing experiences and entering each other's worlds strengthens the bond of friendship and respect. By saying yes to activities that our spouse enjoys, we demonstrate love and openness, building a stronger relationship. [15:14]
4. Belly-to-Belly Fun: Intimacy in marriage is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed within His design. It is a spiritual act that unites us deeply, and we must prioritize healing and growth in this area to honor God and strengthen our marriage. [23:08]
5. The Spiritual Nature of Intimacy: Sex is not just a physical act but a spiritual one that connects us deeply with our spouse. It is a form of worship and a way to glorify God, emphasizing the importance of purity and commitment in our relationships. [30:05]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [03:29] - The Joy of Laughter
- [06:22] - Fun is Essential in Marriage
- [10:39] - Face-to-Face Fun
- [15:14] - Side-to-Side Fun
- [18:51] - Belly-to-Belly Fun
- [23:08] - The Gift of Intimacy
- [26:58] - Approaching Intimacy
- [30:05] - The Spiritual Nature of Sex
- [33:20] - Conclusion and Blessing
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
1. Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 - "I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God."
2. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 - "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."
3. Matthew 5:12 - "Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
#### Observation Questions
1. What are the three types of fun mentioned in the sermon that are essential for a thriving marriage? [06:22]
2. How does the sermon describe the role of face-to-face fun in a marriage? [10:39]
3. What is the significance of side-to-side fun according to the sermon, and how does it differ from face-to-face fun? [15:14]
4. How does the sermon define belly-to-belly fun, and why is it considered a gift from God? [23:08]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does Ecclesiastes 3:12-13 relate to the idea of having fun in marriage as presented in the sermon? [06:22]
2. In what ways does 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 emphasize the importance of mutual fulfillment in marriage, and how does this connect to the sermon’s discussion on intimacy? [30:05]
3. How does the concept of rejoicing in Matthew 5:12 align with the sermon’s message about joy and laughter in relationships? [03:29]
4. What does the sermon suggest about the spiritual nature of intimacy, and how does this perspective influence the way we view physical connection in marriage? [23:08]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on your current relationship or marriage. How can you incorporate more face-to-face fun to strengthen your connection? What specific steps can you take this week to make this happen? [10:39]
2. Think about an activity your spouse enjoys that you typically avoid. How can you say "yes" to this activity to create more side-to-side fun in your relationship? [15:14]
3. Consider the role of intimacy in your marriage. What steps can you take to prioritize and grow in this area, recognizing it as a gift from God? [23:08]
4. How can you ensure that your marriage does not become stale or business-like? What intentional actions can you take to keep the joy and fun alive? [06:22]
5. Reflect on the sermon’s message about the spiritual nature of sex. How does this perspective challenge or affirm your current understanding of intimacy in marriage? [30:05]
6. Identify one way you can be more present with your spouse this week. What distractions do you need to set aside to achieve this? [10:39]
7. How can you and your spouse work together to create a safe and pure environment for intimacy, as discussed in the sermon? What practical steps can you take to protect and cultivate this aspect of your relationship? [23:08]
Devotional
Day 1: Embracing Joy in Marriage
In marriage, joy is not a mere luxury but a vital component that breathes life into the relationship. Many couples find themselves in a routine, where the relationship becomes more about managing life together rather than enjoying it. However, God’s design for marriage includes joy and delight, reflecting His own nature. By prioritizing fun, couples can prevent their relationship from becoming stale and business-like. This joy is not just for personal satisfaction but is a reflection of God’s joy in our lives, honoring His design for marriage. [06:22]
"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand." (Philippians 4:4-5, ESV)
Reflection: What is one way you can intentionally incorporate joy into your marriage this week, and how can this act honor God’s design for your relationship?
Day 2: The Power of Presence
Face-to-face fun in marriage involves being fully present with your spouse, engaging in meaningful conversations, and setting aside distractions. This type of fun allows couples to be seen and known by each other, fulfilling a deep desire in their hearts. Consistent date nights are a practical way to cultivate this connection, fostering intimacy and understanding. By prioritizing undistracted time together, couples can strengthen their bond and reflect the love and attention God gives to us. [10:39]
"Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers dwell in unity!" (Psalm 133:1, ESV)
Reflection: How can you create a distraction-free environment for a meaningful conversation with your spouse this week?
Day 3: Shared Experiences Build Bonds
Side-to-side fun is about sharing experiences and entering each other's worlds. It involves saying yes to activities that may not be your first choice but are important to your spouse. This openness strengthens the bond of friendship and respect, demonstrating love and commitment. By engaging in shared experiences, couples can build a stronger relationship, reflecting the unity and partnership that God desires for marriage. [15:14]
"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow." (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)
Reflection: What is one activity your spouse enjoys that you can participate in this week to strengthen your bond?
Day 4: The Gift of Intimacy
Belly-to-belly fun, or intimacy, is a gift from God meant to be enjoyed within the covenant of marriage. It is not just a physical act but a spiritual one that unites couples deeply. Prioritizing healing and growth in this area is essential to honor God and strengthen the marriage. Intimacy is a form of worship and a way to glorify God, emphasizing the importance of purity and commitment in relationships. [23:08]
"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4, ESV)
Reflection: How can you and your spouse prioritize intimacy as a form of worship and connection this week?
Day 5: The Spiritual Connection of Intimacy
The spiritual nature of intimacy in marriage is profound, as it connects couples deeply with each other and with God. Sex is not just a physical act but a spiritual one that glorifies God. By embracing this perspective, couples can approach intimacy with reverence and joy, recognizing it as a vital part of their spiritual journey together. This understanding emphasizes the importance of purity, commitment, and the sacredness of the marital bond. [30:05]
"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!" (1 Corinthians 6:15, ESV)
Reflection: In what ways can you view intimacy with your spouse as a spiritual act that honors God, and how can this perspective transform your relationship?
Quotes
And while the word fun is not directly in the Bible, the Bible does have a lot to say about enjoyment, delight, pleasure, laughter, rejoicing. In other words, God is not a fuddy dud. Our relationship with him is meant to be filled with delight and wonder and joy and satisfaction and laughter and rejoicing. [00:03:09] (30 seconds)
Having fun is not optional. It's essential. Too many marriages become stale, distant, or business-like partnerships because they lack intentional fun. Our marriage, John and I's, has been stale, distant, and business-like at times over the 20 years that we've been married. And we've had to work at having fun. We've had to be intentional with fun. [00:06:53] (31 seconds)
Face-to-face fun, being present with one another, though, is the key to a healthy and thriving marriage. Every single one of us has a deep desire to be seen and to be known. And we are seen and we are known by our Father in heaven. And we desire to be seen and known fully by our spouse. [00:10:14] (25 seconds)
Face-to-face fun, being present with one another, is not just the deep questions either. It's also the fun stuff, the playful, the inside jokes, the compliments, the building each other up, face-to-face, being present with one another. Our relationships are at their best when we are having intimate, ongoing conversations. [00:10:39] (23 seconds)
Time that is guarded and set aside each week to be face-to-face and present with one another. Full transparency, John and I have not always been the best with this. We make substitutes. We make excuses. This is pulling our attention. We need to do that. We don't have time for this. But without the consistent, guarded, face-to-face time, our relationship lacks. [00:11:41] (25 seconds)
The side-to-side fun is where we're open, and we're entering each other's worlds, where we say yes to things we may not necessarily enjoy, but we're willing to say yes because it's going to help strengthen our relationship. As many of you know, John loves to golf. I hate golf. It's long. It's inconsistent. I'd rather watch paint dry. [00:16:00] (32 seconds)
And he's doing the same for me. It's entering each other's world. It's having and being open to say yes to things that maybe would not be our yes. All right, ladies, quick tip. Generally speaking, all right, generally speaking, we're oftentimes looking for our guys to open up and talk more, right? No? None of you. None of you. None of you want your guys to talk more to you. Okay, great. I do. [00:18:02] (27 seconds)
And if it's essential, then we need to implement the face-to-face time. We need to implement the side-to-side time. We need to be present. We need to be open. And third, we need to implement belly-to-belly fun. We need to be intimate. Yes, this one is about sex. Thank you, John Neal, for letting me tackle this one on my own. [00:19:28] (29 seconds)
Sex is a gift from God. It's one of the blessings that he's given us. And this blessing, this gift that he's given us, I want to clearly state that this gift of sex is given to us in the context of God's design for marriage. This gift of sex is a gift only when it's happening in the context of God's design for marriage. [00:20:52] (25 seconds)
Sex is actually an act of worship unto the Lord. Sex is spiritual. It's supernatural. It's a way that we can serve one another in the marriage. It's a way that we can actually glorify God. It brings us together like nothing else. Sex is a gift from God, and it has a way of connecting us spiritually like nothing else. [00:24:21] (26 seconds)
Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in scripture, the two become one. Since we want to become spiritually one with the master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever. The kind of sex that can never become one. Intimacy is not sex. Intimacy is connection, commitment, communication. [00:30:22] (38 seconds)
The gift of marriage. Marriage is about serving one another. Marriage in the Bible actually reflects God's relationship with the church. Do you know that? He's passionate about his bride. He's passionate about us as his people. And if life this side of heaven is about becoming more like Jesus. Preparing us for eternity. We should be doing everything we can to please the Lord. [00:32:57] (29 seconds)
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