Embracing Holiness: God's Design for Sexuality

Summary

In a world saturated with messages about sex, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, confused, or even burdened by the topic. Yet, God’s Word speaks directly and clearly into this area of our lives, not to shame or restrict us, but to invite us into a life that reflects His holiness and brings true flourishing. God’s will for each of us is sanctification—becoming more like Jesus in every aspect, including our sexuality. This means abstaining from sexual immorality, which the Bible defines as any sexual activity outside the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. While this standard may seem narrow or even out of step with our culture, it is rooted in God’s deep knowledge of what is truly good for us.

God’s design for sex is not about denying pleasure, but about channeling it into the context where it brings life, intimacy, and joy without shame. The boundaries He sets are not arbitrary; they are for our protection and our good. When we step outside of these boundaries, we not only harm ourselves but also others, reducing people to objects and violating the call to love our neighbor as ourselves. Even private sins of lust or pornography have real consequences, both for our own souls and for the dignity of others.

But God does not leave us to struggle alone. He calls us to control our bodies in holiness and honor, not by sheer willpower, but by the power of the Holy Spirit who dwells within us. Our faith should transform how we see and use our bodies, moving us from the patterns of the world to the likeness of Christ. This is not a solitary journey; we are called to walk together, supporting and encouraging one another in the pursuit of holiness. When we fail, we are not to run from God in shame, but to run to Him for help, forgiveness, and restoration.

Ultimately, God’s call to sexual holiness is an invitation to trust His wisdom, embrace His good design, and experience the hope and power that comes from His Spirit. He has not left us alone—He is with us, enabling us to live lives that are pleasing to Him and truly good for us.

Key Takeaways

- God’s will for us is sanctification—becoming more like Jesus in every area, including our sexuality. This is not about legalism or mere rule-following, but about reflecting God’s character and experiencing the fullness of life He intends. Holiness is not a burden, but a pathway to true freedom and joy. [39:00]

- Sexual immorality is not just a private matter; it distorts God’s good gift and harms both ourselves and others. Even when hidden, sexual sin devalues people and creates barriers in our relationship with God. Taking sin seriously means recognizing its real consequences and seeking God’s grace to walk in the light. [53:11]

- Self-control is not achieved by sheer willpower, but by learning to rely on the Holy Spirit. God calls us to actively pursue mastery over our bodies, setting up guardrails and being honest about our triggers and weaknesses. True self-control is rooted in a desire to honor God and hear His commendation, not just to avoid negative outcomes. [44:45]

- Our faith should radically transform how we view and use our bodies. Knowing God changes our perspective, just as new information changes how we see a story or a person. We are no longer to live as those who do not know God, but as beloved children who reflect His holiness in every aspect of life. [48:47]

- We are not meant to fight this battle alone. God has given us His Spirit, His Word, and His people to help us pursue holiness. Community is essential—both for accountability and for encouragement. When we struggle, we are called to bring our battles into the light, seek help, and support one another in the journey toward hopeful, holy sexuality. [01:03:42]

Youtube Chapters

[00:00] - Welcome
[01:34] - Giving Campaign Update
[04:43] - Opening Prayer
[30:27] - Turning to God’s Word
[32:16] - Sex in Culture: Then and Now
[34:26] - Why Address Sexuality Directly
[36:42] - God’s Will: Holiness and Sanctification
[39:00] - God’s Design for Sex
[41:28] - The Goodness and Boundaries of Sexuality
[43:05] - Song of Solomon and God’s Gift
[44:45] - Learning Self-Control
[47:45] - Faith Transforms Our Perspective
[51:12] - Sexual Sin Harms Others
[54:18] - The Seriousness of Sin
[57:08] - Called to Holiness as God’s Children
[59:21] - Grace When We Fail
[01:01:32] - Practical Steps for Purity
[01:03:42] - The Role of Community
[01:06:28] - The Hope of the Holy Spirit
[01:09:32] - Closing Prayer and Invitation

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: Sexuality, Holiness, and Hope

---

### Bible Reading

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (ESV)
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.

---

### Observation Questions

1. According to 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, what is God’s will for believers regarding their sexuality?
2. How does Paul describe the difference between how believers and “the Gentiles who do not know God” approach their bodies and desires?
3. What reasons does Paul give for why sexual immorality is serious, both for ourselves and for others? ([53:11])
4. What does the passage say about the role of the Holy Spirit in helping us live out God’s standard? ([01:06:28])

---

### Interpretation Questions

1. The sermon says God’s boundaries for sex are not about denying pleasure, but about channeling it for our good. Why might God’s design seem restrictive, and how does the sermon explain the purpose behind these boundaries? ([41:28])
2. The passage warns that sexual sin is not just a private matter. In what ways does sexual immorality harm both ourselves and others, even if it seems hidden? ([53:11])
3. The sermon emphasizes that self-control is not just about willpower, but about relying on the Holy Spirit. What does it look like to depend on the Spirit rather than just trying harder on our own? ([44:45])
4. The sermon says that when we fail, we should run to God for help, not away from Him in shame. How does this change the way we respond to our own struggles or failures? ([59:21])

---

### Application Questions

1. The sermon says God’s will is for us to become more like Jesus in every area, including our sexuality. What is one area of your life where you sense God inviting you to greater holiness? What would it look like to take a step in that direction this week? ([39:00])
2. Are there specific situations, habits, or triggers that make it harder for you to practice self-control in this area? What practical guardrails could you set up to help you walk in holiness? ([01:02:20])
3. The sermon talks about the importance of community and not fighting this battle alone. Do you have someone you can be honest with about your struggles? If not, what would it take to find or become that kind of friend? ([01:03:42])
4. When you think about God’s boundaries for sex, do you see them as burdens or as gifts for your good? How might your perspective need to change to trust God’s wisdom in this area? ([41:28])
5. The sermon says that even private sins like lust or pornography have real consequences. How have you seen this play out in your own life or in the lives of others? What steps can you take to bring these struggles into the light? ([53:11])
6. The pastor said, “The gospel is not, ‘Oh no, I messed up. Dad’s going to kill me.’ It’s, ‘Oh no, I messed up. I need Dad’s help.’” How does this view of God affect your willingness to seek forgiveness and restoration when you fail? ([59:21])
7. The Holy Spirit is given to help us, not just to give us rules. What is one way you can invite the Holy Spirit’s help this week in your thoughts, actions, or relationships? ([01:06:28])

---

Closing Prayer Suggestion:
Thank God for His good design, His forgiveness, and the gift of the Holy Spirit. Ask for courage to walk in the light, for wisdom to set up healthy boundaries, and for the strength to support one another in the journey toward holiness.

Devotional

Day 1: God’s Will Is Our Sanctification and Holiness
God’s desire for each of us is not simply to avoid wrongdoing, but to become more like Jesus in every aspect of our lives—including our sexuality. He calls us to a life of sanctification, which means growing in holiness and reflecting His character. This is not about following a list of rules, but about embracing the best version of ourselves, the version that most resembles Christ. God’s boundaries for sexuality are not meant to restrict joy, but to protect and bless us, because He knows what is truly good for us. When we trust His design, we find that His ways lead to life, wholeness, and flourishing. [41:28]

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 (ESV)
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you.”

Reflection: In what area of your life do you sense God calling you to greater holiness, and what is one step you can take today to pursue that sanctification?


Day 2: Learning to Control Our Bodies in Holiness and Honor
God calls us not only to avoid sexual immorality, but to actively learn how to control our bodies in a way that honors Him. This is not a vague or passive process—it requires intentionality, self-awareness, and practice. Just as mastery in any skill takes time and effort, so does learning to steward our bodies for God’s purposes. We are to treat our bodies as something precious, entrusted to us by God, and to seek His commendation in how we use them. This means setting up guardrails, knowing our triggers, and striving for self-control, not just for our own sake, but to bring glory to God. [44:45]

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Reflection: What is one practical guardrail or habit you can put in place this week to help you honor God with your body?


Day 3: Faith Changes Our Perspective on Sexuality
When we come to know God, our faith should radically alter the way we view and use our bodies. The culture around us may normalize or even celebrate sexual behaviors that are outside of God’s design, but as followers of Christ, we are called to a different standard. Our faith is meant to transform our thinking, our habits, and our desires, so that we no longer live according to the passions of the world, but according to the holiness God calls us to. This new perspective is not about shame, but about living in the freedom and dignity that comes from being God’s beloved children. [51:12]

Romans 12:1-2 (ESV)
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Reflection: How has your faith changed the way you view your body and sexuality, and what is one area where you need God’s help to see things from His perspective?


Day 4: The Importance of Community and Accountability
Pursuing holiness in our sexuality is not something we are meant to do alone. God has given us the church—a community of believers—to encourage, support, and hold one another accountable. We need safe people in our lives with whom we can be honest about our struggles, and we are called to be that safe person for others. Bringing our struggles into the light, rather than hiding them in darkness, allows healing and growth to take place. Community is God’s gift to help us fight temptation, bear one another’s burdens, and walk together in the pursuit of holiness. [01:03:42]

Galatians 6:1-2 (ESV)
“Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Reflection: Who is one trusted person you can reach out to for encouragement or accountability in your pursuit of holiness, or how can you become that safe person for someone else?


Day 5: Hope and Help Through the Holy Spirit
God does not leave us to fight temptation and pursue holiness on our own. He gives us His Holy Spirit, who empowers, guides, and comforts us in our struggles. The Spirit is not a distant helper, but God Himself living within us, giving us new hearts and enabling us to cry out to our Father for help. Even when we fail, we are not abandoned; God invites us to run to Him for forgiveness and strength. The presence of the Holy Spirit is our hope—He is with us, working in us, and will never leave us nor forsake us. [01:07:44]

Galatians 5:22-25 (ESV)
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit.”

Reflection: In what area of your life do you most need to rely on the Holy Spirit’s power today, and how can you invite Him to help you in that specific struggle?

Quotes

God wants his people to be like him because he is perfect. So he wants us to strive for perfection. He is gracious and kind and merciful and loving. He wants us to be that way. He is self -controlled. Is there anyone more restrained than God? God? No. And he wants us to be that way. He wants us to reflect his character and his nature of which are communicable attributes. [00:39:39] (31 seconds)  #StrivingForGodlyPerfection Edit Clip

The best version of you is going to be the version that is closest to Jesus. That's what they want for them. That is God's will for them. And part of that, part of their sanctification, part of their holiness is to abstain from sexual immorality. This is a broad biblical term to mean anything that is sexual in nature outside of the confines of sex between a biological male and a biological female in marriage. This is God's definition of what is proper and right. [00:40:36] (39 seconds)  #BestSelfInChrist Edit Clip

God does not take sin lightly. Neither should we. God is very serious about sin. All sin. Sin has radical consequences. Sin is what cast us out of the garden and removed us from paradise. Sin is what caused the Israelites to be exiled into foreign nations. Sin is what sent the Lord to the cross. We need to take sin seriously. [00:54:27] (33 seconds)  #GraceInOurFailures Edit Clip

God has called us into his family to live according to his ways, and his ways are best. So he wants us to reflect his holiness, not because he's a killjoy, but because it's what's good for us. And so we need to strive to live it out. Not in perfection. We know that we can't. But we need to heed the warnings and strive to live according to his standard. And when we fail, we call out and we pray and we ask God to forgive us and we draw near to him. [00:58:58] (37 seconds)  #ObedienceReflectsRelationship Edit Clip

We want to embrace the beauty of God's design by living according to it. Because it is really the best way to live. And then we want to submit to his purposes. Let his purposes be our standard. Not what culture says, not what we think, not what others might have told us, but what this says. This is the standard for our sexuality. Not anything else. [01:05:20] (31 seconds)  #NeverAloneInTheBattle Edit Clip

``Friends, there is more to this. And this is where I think the hopefulness comes in. Look back at verse 8. Look at how verse 8 ends. Therefore, whoever disregards this disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you. Friends, that should create in you, well up in you, incredible hope. Because God gives you himself to help you in this situation. [01:06:16] (43 seconds) Edit Clip

He does not leave you on your own to pull up your bootstraps and fight it and go about it on your own power, under your own strength. But he is with you in the moment. His Holy Spirit has come inside of you. If you've become a believer in Christ, he has regenerated you. He has made you new. He has taken that heart of stone inside of you and made it a heart of flesh. The valley of dry bones have been given sinew and muscle and fat and meat. The Holy Spirit has come inside of his people. [01:06:59] (34 seconds) Edit Clip

Friends, he has not left you alone for this, but he is with you. Friends, does that give you hope? Does that encourage you that the Lord is with you in the midst of it? The one who will never leave you, nor forsake you? The one who is everywhere? The one who knows all things? The one who is all -powerful? He is with you. [01:08:25] (33 seconds) Edit Clip