Embracing Healing Through Acknowledgment and Forgiveness
Summary
In today's reflection, we delve into the profound and often challenging task of making a list of all the people we have harmed. This exercise is not about self-condemnation but about seeking healing and reconciliation. Harm can manifest in various forms—emotionally, financially, spiritually, or even through omission. The story shared about an ordination council serves as a poignant reminder of how our actions, even those we might not remember, can impact others deeply. It's easy to forget the moments we're not proud of, but these are the very instances that require our attention and repentance.
The process involves ransacking our memories, not to dwell in guilt, but to acknowledge and own our wrongdoings. This is crucial for healing, as unrecognized wounds can fester and affect our spiritual journey. Jeremiah 6:14 warns against treating wounds lightly, urging us to confront our actions honestly. The goal is to identify the character defects that led to these harms, such as pride or self-righteousness, and to seek God's help in transforming these areas of our lives.
Forgiveness plays a vital role in this process. Often, those we harm are also those who have hurt us. Thus, we must be willing to forgive as we seek forgiveness. This is not about justifying our actions or minimizing their impact but about naming the exact nature of the harm and taking responsibility for it. The list we create is not just a record of wrongs but a step towards becoming willing to make amends.
As we conclude, we are reminded that this journey is about cleaning our side of the street, focusing on our behavior, and not on what others have done to us. It's a call to be honest, objective, and willing to change. This is a continuous process, one that requires prayer and a willingness to be transformed by God's grace.
Key Takeaways:
1. Acknowledging Harm: Recognizing the harm we've caused is essential for healing. It's not about self-condemnation but about owning our actions and seeking reconciliation. This requires honesty and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. [05:08]
2. The Role of Memory: We often forget the things we're ashamed of, but these are the very moments that need our attention. By ransacking our memories, we can identify and address the wounds we've inflicted, allowing for true healing. [04:52]
3. Forgiveness and Willingness: Forgiveness is a two-way street. As we seek to make amends, we must also be willing to forgive those who have hurt us. This willingness is crucial for genuine reconciliation and spiritual growth. [08:30]
4. Naming the Harm: It's important to name the exact nature of the harm we've caused, without justifying or minimizing it. This clarity helps us take full responsibility and paves the way for making amends. [09:02]
5. Focus on Personal Growth: The journey of making amends is about focusing on our behavior and not on what others have done to us. It's a call to clean our side of the street and to be transformed by God's grace. [10:48]
Youtube Chapters:
- [00:00] - Welcome
- [02:36] - Understanding Harm
- [03:11] - The Ordination Council Story
- [04:07] - Personal Reflection and Memory
- [05:08] - The Need for Healing
- [06:02] - Confronting Our Actions
- [06:56] - Creating the List
- [07:42] - Identifying Character Defects
- [08:30] - The Importance of Forgiveness
- [09:19] - Naming the Exact Harm
- [10:21] - Questions and Clarifications
- [11:01] - Addressing Common Concerns
- [12:23] - Becoming Willing
- [13:05] - Conclusion and Resources
- [13:30] - Community and Prayer
Study Guide
### Bible Study Discussion Guide
#### Bible Reading
- Jeremiah 6:14: "They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace."
#### Observation Questions
1. What are some of the different forms of harm mentioned in the sermon that we might inflict on others? [02:36]
2. How does the story of the ordination council illustrate the impact of our actions on others, even when we might not remember them? [03:11]
3. According to the sermon, why is it important to ransack our memories and acknowledge the harm we've caused? [05:08]
4. What does the sermon suggest is the role of forgiveness in the process of making amends? [08:30]
#### Interpretation Questions
1. How does Jeremiah 6:14 relate to the idea of acknowledging and addressing the harm we've caused to others? [05:27]
2. In what ways might pride or self-righteousness contribute to the harm we inflict on others, as discussed in the sermon? [07:58]
3. Why is it important to name the exact nature of the harm we've caused, rather than offering vague or conditional apologies? [09:02]
4. How does the sermon suggest we balance the need for personal growth with the need to forgive those who have harmed us? [08:30]
#### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you may have harmed someone emotionally, financially, or spiritually. What steps can you take to acknowledge and address this harm? [02:36]
2. The sermon emphasizes the importance of memory in recognizing our wrongdoings. How can you actively work to remember and confront past actions that you might be ashamed of? [04:52]
3. Consider a person who has hurt you in the past. What steps can you take to forgive them, even if they have not sought forgiveness from you? [08:30]
4. Identify a character defect, such as pride or self-righteousness, that has led you to harm others. How can you seek God's help in transforming this area of your life? [07:58]
5. The sermon calls us to focus on cleaning our side of the street. What specific actions can you take this week to address your behavior, rather than focusing on the wrongs others have done to you? [10:48]
6. How can you ensure that your apologies are sincere and specific, rather than vague or conditional? Consider a recent apology you made and evaluate its sincerity. [09:02]
7. The sermon suggests that making amends is a continuous process. What daily practices can you incorporate into your life to remain open to transformation by God's grace? [10:48]
Devotional
Day 1: Acknowledging Our Impact on Others
Recognizing the harm we've caused is a crucial step in our spiritual journey. This process is not about self-condemnation but about owning our actions and seeking reconciliation. By acknowledging the emotional, financial, spiritual, or even unintentional harm we've inflicted, we open the door to healing and transformation. This requires honesty and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths about ourselves. As we reflect on our past actions, we must remember that this is a step towards healing, not dwelling in guilt. [05:08]
Jeremiah 6:14 (ESV): "They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace."
Reflection: Think of a specific instance where your actions may have hurt someone. How can you take a step towards acknowledging this harm today?
Day 2: The Power of Memory in Healing
Our memories often hide the moments we're ashamed of, yet these are the very instances that need our attention for true healing. By ransacking our memories, we can identify and address the wounds we've inflicted, allowing for genuine reconciliation. This process is not about dwelling on past mistakes but about bringing them to light so they can be healed. As we confront these memories, we must do so with the intention of growth and transformation, not self-condemnation. [04:52]
Psalm 77:11-12 (ESV): "I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds."
Reflection: Recall a memory that you have avoided because of shame. How can you bring this memory to God for healing today?
Day 3: Forgiveness as a Path to Reconciliation
Forgiveness is a two-way street, essential for genuine reconciliation and spiritual growth. As we seek to make amends, we must also be willing to forgive those who have hurt us. This willingness is crucial, as it allows us to move beyond our own pain and embrace healing. Forgiveness is not about justifying our actions or minimizing their impact but about taking responsibility and seeking to restore relationships. By forgiving others, we open ourselves to receive forgiveness and grace. [08:30]
Colossians 3:13 (ESV): "Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."
Reflection: Identify someone you need to forgive. What steps can you take today to begin this process of forgiveness?
Day 4: Naming the Harm for True Accountability
It's important to name the exact nature of the harm we've caused, without justifying or minimizing it. This clarity helps us take full responsibility and paves the way for making amends. By being specific about our wrongdoings, we can better understand the character defects that led to these actions and seek God's help in transforming these areas of our lives. This process requires humility and a willingness to change, as we strive to become more like Christ. [09:02]
Proverbs 28:13 (ESV): "Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy."
Reflection: Think of a specific harm you have caused. How can you clearly name this harm and take responsibility for it today?
Day 5: Focusing on Personal Growth and Transformation
The journey of making amends is about focusing on our behavior and not on what others have done to us. It's a call to clean our side of the street and to be transformed by God's grace. This process requires ongoing prayer and a willingness to be changed. By focusing on our own growth, we can become more Christ-like and better equipped to serve others. This is a continuous journey, one that requires dedication and a heart open to God's transformative power. [10:48]
2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV): "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit."
Reflection: What is one area of your life where you need to focus on personal growth? How can you invite God's transformative power into this area today?
Quotes
Harm could be emotionally, could be financially, could be spiritually, it could be by commission, it could be by omission, it could be verbally. I'll give you a tiny example that is as fresh as today. Literally, I was having lunch with a guy just an hour or two ago, and he was telling me about an event years ago that we actually were both at. [00:02:34]
Part of my problem, part of the sinfulness I have to wrestle with, is that I will actually not remember things that I'm ashamed or embarrassed of or that I don't like or don't want to know. That's why in the advice on this one, it says we ransack our memories, we go to work on that. [00:04:47]
Not just to beat ourselves up, not at all to beat ourselves up, because we need healing, and especially the wrong things that I have done that have flowed out of me, that have come from my heart, those need to be recognized and named and owned and amended and healed. [00:05:08]
There's a verse in Jeremiah 6:14, I think, where God is talking about his people and Prophets, and he says my prophets treat the wounds of my people lightly. The Puritan thinker and writer John Owen said people treat heal their wounds lightly. I'm just not willing to sit with the reality of who I am and what I've done deeply enough. [00:05:27]
I have to sit with that and just ask God would you help me, and as painful as that can be, that can make it sound like, you know, man, that I must think that's the worst thing I've ever done. No, no, no, no, I've done much, much, much worse things than that. [00:06:33]
Now here's what that list might look like. If you want to make your own list for step eight, again, you're not doing anything yet. This is just about becoming willing. So on this list, first of all, I write down the names of all the persons I have harmed, and that will certainly be all the people who are very close to me. [00:06:56]
Then I write down specifically what's the nature of the harm that I inflicted. I'll come back to that one in a moment, and then I write down what's the character defect that that harm shows. So I might have asked somebody kind of mean spirit questions, and the defect it shows is ego or pride or self-righteousness or wanting to look good. [00:07:38]
Most of the people that I hurt are people who have also hurt me. Not always. Sometimes I can inflict free reigns hurt, but very often I hurt people who have hurt me because they do. It's all kind of mixed in together, so forgiveness becomes really key in Step eight. Am I willing to forgive that person? [00:08:08]
I'm going to name the exact nature of the harm. In other words, not I'm sorry you felt so upset when I tried to point out that you were being self-centered and lazy by not helping out more. That's not the exact nature of my harm. It's not what is sometimes called an if apology. [00:08:42]
Don't be too quick to clarify how well-intended you were. Sometimes people do that. It wasn't my intention to cause that any problems or, well, are my intentions always really that clean? Are they always really that good? Do I never want to escape being accountable or do I never try to plate people or try to please people? [00:09:11]
It's real important here that you reject the idea that you've never harmed anybody. We harm people. I harm people. I don't like to admit it. I don't like to look at it, but I do. Also, I got to focus on my behavior. This is not wishing other people would make amends for the wrong that they have done to me. [00:10:34]
What if they heard me more than I heard them? You are not 6 years old. If you have harmed them, their names belong on the list. It doesn't matter whether or not they harmed you. This is not about what they have done. This is about what I have done. I can only clean up my stuff. [00:11:25]
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