Embracing Grief: Jesus Weeps with Us
Summary
### Summary
In today's sermon, we explored the profound and often challenging topic of grief, using the shortest verse in the Bible, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35), as our focal point. This verse, though brief, is packed with powerful lessons about the humanity and empathy of Jesus. We delved into the story of Lazarus, examining how Jesus responded to the grief of Mary and Martha, and how He Himself was moved by their sorrow. This narrative serves as a reminder that Jesus is not distant or indifferent to our pain; He is deeply moved by our suffering and weeps with us.
We discussed the cultural and theological aspects of grief, particularly within the Black community, where expressions of grief can be very communal and outward. Jesus' response to Lazarus' death shows us that it is okay to grieve, to cry, and to express our emotions. Men, often seen as the epitome of strength, were encouraged to embrace their emotions and understand that crying is a natural and healthy response to grief.
The sermon also highlighted the different types of tears—basal, emotional, and reflex tears—and their roles in our emotional and physical well-being. Emotional tears, in particular, contain stress chemicals, suggesting that crying can be a form of stress relief. This biological perspective underscores the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve and cry as part of the healing process.
We also touched on the various types of loss beyond just the death of a loved one, including material, relationship, and role losses. Understanding these different forms of grief helps us to better process our emotions and seek appropriate support. The sermon concluded with a call to embrace our grief, to seek community and support, and to remember that Jesus is with us in our suffering, offering comfort and hope.
### Key Takeaways
1. Jesus is Moved by Our Pain and Suffering: Jesus' reaction to Lazarus' death shows that He is deeply moved by our pain. He groaned in spirit and was troubled, indicating that our suffering affects Him profoundly. This teaches us that Jesus is not distant or indifferent to our struggles but is intimately involved in our emotional lives. [11:36]
2. Permission to Grieve: Jesus wept openly, giving us permission to express our grief without shame. This is especially important for men, who are often taught to suppress their emotions. Crying is a natural and healthy response to loss, and it is essential for emotional healing. [06:33]
3. Different Types of Tears and Their Roles: Understanding the different types of tears—basal, emotional, and reflex—helps us appreciate the body's natural mechanisms for dealing with stress and protecting our eyes. Emotional tears, in particular, contain stress chemicals, suggesting that crying can be a form of stress relief. [29:08]
4. Cultural and Theological Perspectives on Grief: The way we express and process grief can be influenced by cultural norms and theological beliefs. In the Black community, communal expressions of grief are common, and Jesus' example shows that it is okay to take time to grieve and seek support from others. [04:43]
5. Types of Loss Beyond Death: Grief is not limited to the death of a loved one. It can also include material loss, relationship loss, and role loss. Recognizing these different forms of grief helps us to better understand our emotions and seek appropriate support. [52:07]
### YouTube Chapters
1. [0:00] - Welcome
2. [01:25] - Introduction to the Sermon
3. [03:12] - Jesus Wept: The Shortest Verse
4. [04:43] - Cultural Expressions of Grief
5. [06:33] - Permission to Cry
6. [09:49] - The Story of Lazarus
7. [11:36] - Jesus is Moved by Our Pain
8. [13:11] - Empathy and Compassion in Grief
9. [16:25] - Finding Community in Grief
10. [17:49] - The Importance of Emotional Healing
11. [20:16] - Living Without Bitterness
12. [21:06] - Personal Experiences with Grief
13. [24:14] - Jesus Weeps with Us
14. [29:08] - Different Types of Tears
15. [34:27] - Pop Culture and Grief
16. [42:10] - Embracing Change and Help
17. [52:07] - Types of Loss Beyond Death
18. [59:11] - Common Emotions in Grief
19. [01:00:11] - Turning Mourning into Joy
20. [01:02:14] - Invitation to the Altar
Study Guide
### Bible Reading
- John 11:35 - "Jesus wept."
### Observation Questions
1. What is the significance of the verse "Jesus wept" in the context of the story of Lazarus? [03:12]
2. How did Jesus respond to the grief of Mary and Martha when He arrived in Bethany? [09:49]
3. What are the different types of tears mentioned in the sermon, and what are their roles? [29:08]
4. How does the Black community typically express grief, according to the sermon? [04:43]
### Interpretation Questions
1. Why is it important to understand that Jesus is moved by our pain and suffering? How does this affect our relationship with Him? [11:36]
2. How does the permission to grieve openly, as demonstrated by Jesus, challenge societal norms, especially for men? [06:33]
3. What can we learn from the different types of tears about the body's natural mechanisms for dealing with stress and grief? [29:08]
4. How do cultural and theological perspectives shape the way we process grief? [04:43]
### Application Questions
1. Reflect on a time when you experienced significant grief. How did you feel Jesus was present with you during that time? [11:36]
2. Men in the group: How do you typically handle your emotions and grief? What steps can you take to allow yourself to grieve more openly? [06:33]
3. Have you ever felt pressured to "get over" a loss quickly? How can you create space in your life to grieve at your own pace? [18:46]
4. What are some practical ways you can support someone in your community who is grieving? How can you be present for them without needing to "fix" their pain? [16:25]
5. Think about the different types of losses mentioned in the sermon (material, relationship, role, etc.). Which type of loss have you experienced recently, and how are you processing it? [52:07]
6. How can understanding the different types of tears help you in your own healing process? What changes might you make in how you deal with stress and grief? [29:08]
7. How can you balance the cultural expectation to be strong with the need to express your emotions and seek help? What steps can you take to find this balance? [37:52]
Devotional
Day 1: Jesus is Deeply Moved by Our Pain and Suffering
Jesus' reaction to Lazarus' death is a profound demonstration of His empathy and compassion. When He saw Mary and Martha grieving, He was deeply moved and troubled in spirit. This shows that Jesus is not a distant deity but one who is intimately involved in our emotional lives. He feels our pain and is affected by our suffering. This understanding can bring immense comfort, knowing that we are not alone in our struggles. Jesus' tears are a testament to His deep love and concern for us, reminding us that He is always with us, sharing in our sorrows and offering His comfort and support. [11:36]
John 11:33-34 (ESV): "When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said to him, 'Lord, come and see.'"
Reflection: Think of a recent time when you felt deep pain or sorrow. How does knowing that Jesus is deeply moved by your suffering change the way you view that experience?
Day 2: Permission to Grieve Openly
Jesus wept openly at the tomb of Lazarus, giving us permission to express our grief without shame. In many cultures, men are often taught to suppress their emotions and view crying as a sign of weakness. However, Jesus' example shows that crying is a natural and healthy response to loss. It is essential for emotional healing and allows us to process our grief. By embracing our emotions and allowing ourselves to cry, we can begin to heal and find comfort in the midst of our pain. [06:33]
Psalm 56:8 (ESV): "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"
Reflection: Reflect on a time when you felt the need to suppress your emotions. How can you create a safe space for yourself and others to express grief openly and without shame?
Day 3: The Healing Power of Tears
Understanding the different types of tears—basal, emotional, and reflex—helps us appreciate the body's natural mechanisms for dealing with stress and protecting our eyes. Emotional tears, in particular, contain stress chemicals, suggesting that crying can be a form of stress relief. This biological perspective underscores the importance of allowing ourselves to grieve and cry as part of the healing process. By acknowledging the healing power of tears, we can better navigate our emotional journeys and find solace in the act of crying. [29:08]
Psalm 126:5 (ESV): "Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!"
Reflection: When was the last time you allowed yourself to cry and release your emotions? How did it make you feel afterward, and how can you incorporate this form of emotional release into your healing process?
Day 4: Cultural and Theological Perspectives on Grief
The way we express and process grief can be influenced by cultural norms and theological beliefs. In the Black community, communal expressions of grief are common, and Jesus' example shows that it is okay to take time to grieve and seek support from others. By understanding and respecting different cultural expressions of grief, we can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for those who are mourning. Jesus' empathy and compassion serve as a model for how we can support one another in times of sorrow. [04:43]
Romans 12:15 (ESV): "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep."
Reflection: Consider the cultural norms around grief in your community. How can you be more supportive and empathetic towards others who may express their grief differently than you do?
Day 5: Recognizing Different Types of Loss
Grief is not limited to the death of a loved one. It can also include material loss, relationship loss, and role loss. Recognizing these different forms of grief helps us to better understand our emotions and seek appropriate support. By acknowledging the various types of loss we may experience, we can approach our healing process with greater awareness and compassion for ourselves and others. This understanding allows us to navigate our grief more effectively and find the support we need to heal. [52:07]
Isaiah 61:3 (ESV): "To grant to those who mourn in Zion—to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified."
Reflection: Identify a non-death-related loss you have experienced recently. How can you seek support and begin to heal from this type of grief?
Quotes
1. "The reality is everybody's in a turning point and I would be as a pastor I would be derelict in my duty if I did not deal with the existential, the life stuff that people are going through. Grief is a reality, a loss is a reality, all these things they are going to happen whether we want to face it or not we're all in a turning point in life." [04:43] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
2. "I want to give y'all permission to cry, to grieve, to let it out. It's okay to cry. And men, it's okay to cry. I understand that as men we are the epitome of strength, we hold it together, we're macho, we're men, we have to be strong for our women, our children, our families. Men have emotions as well." [06:33] (29 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
3. "Jesus is moved by our pain and suffering. This passage we see Mary and the Jews mourning the death of Lazarus. Mary in her grief she falls at Jesus's feet. Now this is the same Mary who would later in chapter number 12 anoint Jesus's feet and wash away the tears with her hair. She falls at Jesus's feet and expresses her disappointment that he wasn't there." [11:36] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
4. "People respond to grief and handle grief differently. Some people want to get a gallon of ice cream. Get some nachos with some hamburger meat on it, whatever it is, take a drive and get you a pose. Whatever you do, take a trip. Shut the phone. Don't talk to nobody. Now, where that's good for you, do what you got to do. But at the same time, I want to invite us to be open to help in the community." [16:25] (31 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
5. "I'm in a season in my life that for the last couple of months, I've made a determination that I am not preaching to itching ears. I am not preaching to make folks shout. I can hoop and tune up an E flat with any and all. All of them. But I'm in a place in my life that I want to help people see Jesus, make it from day to day." [17:49] (28 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
6. "Life is too short, y'all. Too short. It doesn't have to be. Life can be wonderful. We don't know when the good Lord may call us home. And so that's why I'm determined that every day that I have, I'm going to live my best life. I ain't going to be bitter at folks. I'm not going to have no hangups. I go to sleep peacefully at night, y'all. I'm serious. I ain't mad at nobody. I ain't got no enemies." [20:16] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
7. "We have to deal with and understand what grief looks like and so this is what Jesus shows here by the way weeping that he is moved by our pain and suffering so imagine a parent watching their child cry out in pain they're not unaffected or unmoved the same way Jesus is not immune to our pain and suffering and there will be times in our lives that we feel like Jesus is distant or doesn't come through for us but we we must remember that he is always moved by our pain and he is right there to comfort us." [24:14] (38 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
8. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Can I play with that word for a second? The scripture says mourning. M-O-R-N. But joy comes also in our mourning. M-O-U-R. Joy comes both in the morning. There's 12 hours of daylight. There's 12 hours of midnight, of darkness. But in the morning, through our mourning, Jesus shows up and he offers us joy and change through our grief." [01:00:11] (35 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)
9. "So in this passage we see Jesus' deep compassion for his friends. The amazing power that he possesses. He is not distant or uncaring, but rather he is moved by our suffering. He weeps with us and has the power to turn mourning into joy. So let us remember that we don't have to grieve alone. Jesus cares. I care. And that through any and every turning point of our lives, invite the Holy Spirit in." [01:01:10] (30 seconds) (Download raw clip | Download cropped clip)