Embracing Gratitude: The Power of Giving and Forgiving

Thanksgiving is when it started about 3 years ago and it has provided so much meaning and hope and richness and um depth in my own life and for me and ncy so thank you thanks for watching this I want to talk about the link today between thank Thanksgiving and forgiving those words obviously are deeply related to each other and they're deeply connected by that notion of giving and then I want to invite me and you today to spend a little time giving thanks to God being thankful for being forgiven by God and for his great gift of forgiveness. [00:00:42]

Marl wolf in his book free of charge talks about the connection between those two words he talks about how when it comes to forgiving to giving there's basically three postures that we can take to life I can try to take what doesn't actually belong to me steal it snatch it or I can take a posture of getting I don't try to acquire something illegitimately but I make my life mostly about what do I possess what can I acquire control and enjoy or I can assume a posture of giving where my ultimate hope in life is to be able to make contributions and to live with a generous spirit and to release and to bless other people. [00:01:29]

And he says we see that if we look back in Genesis how God is a God who loves to give creation is an an act of outrageous generosity on God's part and part of what God says to the man and woman back in the garden is I give you every tree there's that one that is marked off that's an expression of willingness to be obedient to live within the limits of God's will but I give you I give you everything the whole world is yours but then what we see with Adam the first Adam is he was not content with that he did not choose a posture of giving but ultimately he wanted to take he wanted to snatch and the forbidden fruit that act of taking. [00:02:16]

So on Thanksgiving Day we think about living with a posture of uh generosity and giving towards others to be thankful then when it comes to forgiving there's a similar three-part Dynamic mirav writes uh when I'm hurt by somebody I I can seek um Revenge that's where I want to hurt him I want to make him hurt I want to make him feel bad or I can simply seek Justice that's kind of connected to the idea of getting vengeance is like taking it's doing what is illegitimate uh I can just want Justice to be done so I want the other person to suffer whatever the appropriate penalty is or I can forgive and to forgive is also an act of generosity. [00:02:58]

Forgiveness like generosity is an unnatural act and we get trapped in generations of what he calls UNG Grace if you ask a bomb throwing teenager in Northern Ireland a machete wielder wielding soldier in Rwanda or a sniper in the former Yugoslavia why they're killing they may not even know Ireland still seeking revenge for atrocities Oliver quamwell committed in the 17th century Rwanda and bundai uring on tribal feuds that extend long past anyone's memory Yugoslavia is avenging memories from World War II trying to prevent a replay of what happened six centuries ago and we think about the historical roots of what is happening right now in the Middle East between Israeli and Palestinian or in the Ukraine. [00:03:50]

UNG Grace plays like the background static of life for families Nations and institutions it is sadly our natural human state so now as we think about living in forgiveness this is not just an occasional isolated act this is a daily experience of life in the kingdom of God where we are betting it all on Grace where we are betting it all on love that's what Jesus did particularly when when he went to the cross I mentioned how the first Adam in the garden chose taking I will have this fruit the second Adam in the Garden of Gethsemane chose giving I will lay down my life for everybody and he risked it all you know if he if he was still in the Tomb nobody except maybe a few historians would have ever heard the name Jesus of Nazareth. [00:04:47]

But he risked it all on the kingdom and received the resurrection poured himself out for all of us that's what we're doing when we are giving and forgiving as a way of life we are seeking discovering the Kingdom so the invitation now at the end of this journey together is to make the decision to seek to become each day a forgiving grace-filled generous person we can practice it all the time yansy goes on to describe UNG Grace I want share a me with two scientists who had just emerged from the glass en closed biosphere near Tucson Arizona four men for women volunteered for the 2-year isolation experiment all were accomplished scientists brilliant people underwent psychological testing preparation all entered the biosphere fully briefed on the rigors they would face while sealed off from the outside world. [00:05:33]

The scientists told me that within a matter of months the eight bionaut had split in the two groups of four and during the final months of the experiment these two groups refused to speak to each other eight people lived in a bubble split in half by an invisible wall of ungracefully disconnected with the size of our IQ he goes on Frank re an American hostage held in Lebanon disclosed upon his release he had not spoken to one of his fellow hostages for several months following some minor dispute most of that time the two feuding hostages had been chained together this is not refusing to speak to a captor this is refusing to speak to a fellow hostage. [00:06:00]

I have been struck on this journey together uh how it is a journey that requires deep humility I I must empathize with the one who has done wrong or that I feel like has done wrong to me because I also am a sinner I have done great wrong in my life and at the same time it requires Great courage I got to be willing to be honest with you to forgive someone includes um knowing that what took place is at least in part not excusable it needs to be forgiven it means I need to be courageously authentic in my relationship with you and name it when I'm hurt and be willing to plunge into a difficult messy conversation that would be easier to avoid requires becoming a certain kind of person that we become only with God's help. [00:07:36]

I can't he can I think I'll let him I want to respond to one other question just got this one uh today in an email from somebody who has been on this journey and has a real painful relationship with a family member um who has no interest in wanting to be forgiven doesn't think that they need to be forgiven although they have done great harm they could care less what do you do with somebody when they do not repent they do not confess they show No Remorse there's a wonderful ancient document of uh in the Jewish tradition called the Testaments of the 12 Patriarchs and it says this LC Mees writes about it in his book if a man sin against thee if he repent and confess forgive him but if he be Shameless and persiste in his wrongdoing even so forgive him from the heart and leave to God the avenging. [00:09:07]

You may not ever be be able to reconcile with that one but to forgive to offer the gift of forgiveness and Grace and release that's to live in the Kingdom God thank you that you forgive us I I've had repeated conversations had one today with somebody who who uh is in the grip of an inability to forgive themselves for some very dark stuff in a way that feels permanent but the promise of the scripture is that there is now therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus there is no sin for which God's ability to forgive it is not greater ask my prayer for you on this Thanksgiving may it also be a day of forgiving thank you for going on this journey with me and my prayer for you and for me is that we can continue to be on the road to becoming forgiving people for the rest of our lives because to hurt is natural but to forgive is unnatural it's Grace forgive us our debts as we forgive give our debtors. [00:10:11]