Embracing Gratitude: Overcoming Negativity and Renouncing Control

 

Summary

In our journey through the Gratitude Challenge, we explore the profound impact of gratitude on our lives. Today, I had the privilege of engaging in a meaningful conversation with Rankin Wilborn, a gifted thinker and preacher, about the complexities of gratitude. Despite its recognized benefits, gratitude often eludes us. Rankin posed a compelling question: Why is gratitude so challenging to practice, even when we know its value?

One reason is the negativity bias, an ingrained tendency to focus on the negative and discount the positive. Our brains are wired to be more receptive to negative experiences, which can overshadow the positive ones. This bias requires us to intentionally tune our hearts to recognize and appreciate the good in our lives. Another challenge is that gratitude demands a posture of being awake to the present moment, involving the heart, mind, and will. It requires a shift in our perspective, akin to repentance, which is a hospitality of the heart to God's heart.

Repentance, often seen as unpleasant, is redefined as rethinking our strategy for living in light of the opportunity to live in God's kingdom. This involves humility, recognizing that we are beneficiaries of God's grace. Gratitude is intertwined with grace, and living in grace requires vulnerability, dependence, and surrender. However, we often renounce grace, preferring control over surrender. This renunciation of grace is a significant barrier to gratitude.

To cultivate gratitude, we must embrace humility and recognize life as a gift. Instead of renouncing grace, we should adopt a posture of open hands, open hearts, and open eyes, acknowledging the gifts we receive daily. By doing so, we align ourselves with the grace of God, allowing gratitude to flourish in our lives.

Key Takeaways:

- Negativity Bias: Our brains are naturally inclined to focus on negative experiences, making it challenging to appreciate the positive. Overcoming this bias requires intentional effort to tune our hearts to recognize and celebrate the good in our lives. [03:38]

- Awareness and Repentance: Gratitude demands being present and aware, involving the heart, mind, and will. This posture is akin to repentance, a hospitality of the heart to God's heart, requiring a shift in perspective and openness to God's grace. [05:37]

- Humility and Grace: Gratitude is deeply connected to humility and grace. Recognizing that we are beneficiaries of God's grace, not entitled to it, allows us to experience joy and gratitude. Humility opens our eyes to the gifts we receive. [07:11]

- Renunciation of Grace: We often renounce grace, preferring control over surrender. Living in grace requires vulnerability and dependence, which are essential for cultivating gratitude. Embracing grace opens the door to a grateful heart. [08:34]

- Life as a Gift: Life is a gift, and recognizing this truth fosters gratitude. By adopting a posture of open hands, open hearts, and open eyes, we acknowledge the gifts we receive daily, aligning ourselves with God's grace and allowing gratitude to flourish. [10:11]

Youtube Chapters:

- [00:00] - Welcome
- [00:29] - Introduction to Rankin Wilborn
- [01:16] - Discussing Gratitude
- [01:58] - The Challenge of Gratitude
- [03:38] - Negativity Bias
- [04:27] - Tuning Our Hearts
- [05:20] - Awareness and Repentance
- [06:25] - Repentance and Gratitude
- [07:11] - Humility and Joy
- [08:00] - Connection to Grace
- [08:34] - Renunciation of Grace
- [09:39] - Invitation to Reflect
- [10:11] - Life as a Gift
- [11:02] - Embracing Grace
- [11:32] - Closing Remarks

Study Guide

Bible Study Discussion Guide: The Gratitude Challenge

Bible Reading:
1. Ephesians 5:20 - "Always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."
2. Colossians 3:15-17 - "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

Observation Questions:
1. According to the sermon, what is the "negativity bias," and how does it affect our ability to practice gratitude? [03:38]
2. How does the sermon describe the relationship between repentance and gratitude? [06:25]
3. What role does humility play in experiencing gratitude, as discussed in the sermon? [07:11]
4. How does the sermon explain the concept of "renunciation of grace," and why is it a barrier to gratitude? [08:34]

Interpretation Questions:
1. In what ways does the negativity bias challenge the biblical call to "give thanks in all circumstances" as seen in Ephesians 5:20? [03:38]
2. How might the concept of repentance as a "hospitality of the heart to God's heart" change one's understanding of gratitude? [06:25]
3. Why is humility essential for recognizing life as a gift, and how does this align with the teachings in Colossians 3:15-17? [07:11]
4. How does the sermon suggest that living in grace requires vulnerability and dependence, and how does this relate to the biblical understanding of grace? [08:34]

Application Questions:
1. Reflect on a recent situation where you focused more on the negative than the positive. How can you intentionally shift your perspective to recognize and celebrate the good in similar situations in the future? [03:38]
2. Consider a time when you found it difficult to be present and aware. What practical steps can you take to cultivate a posture of awareness and gratitude in your daily life? [05:37]
3. Identify an area in your life where you struggle with humility. How can recognizing your dependence on God's grace help you to be more grateful? [07:11]
4. Think about a time when you preferred control over surrender. How can embracing vulnerability and dependence on God open your heart to gratitude? [08:34]
5. How can you practice seeing life as a gift this week? What specific actions can you take to adopt a posture of open hands, open hearts, and open eyes? [10:11]
6. Reflect on the phrase "renunciation of grace." How can you actively choose to embrace grace in your life, and what impact might this have on your gratitude? [09:39]
7. Consider someone in your life who exemplifies gratitude despite challenges. What can you learn from their example, and how can you apply it to your own life? [02:40]

Devotional

Day 1: Overcoming Negativity Bias
Our minds are naturally inclined to focus on negative experiences, often overshadowing the positive aspects of our lives. This negativity bias can make it challenging to practice gratitude, even when we understand its benefits. To counteract this tendency, we must intentionally tune our hearts to recognize and celebrate the good in our lives. This requires a conscious effort to shift our focus from what is lacking to what is abundant, allowing gratitude to take root and flourish. By doing so, we can transform our perspective and experience a deeper sense of joy and contentment. [03:38]

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8, ESV)

Reflection: Identify one negative thought pattern you frequently experience. How can you intentionally shift your focus to recognize and appreciate the positive aspects of that situation today?


Day 2: Embracing Awareness and Repentance
Gratitude requires us to be fully present and aware, engaging our heart, mind, and will. This posture is akin to repentance, which involves a shift in perspective and an openness to God's grace. Repentance is not merely about feeling sorry for past actions but rethinking our strategy for living in light of the opportunity to live in God's kingdom. It is a hospitality of the heart to God's heart, inviting us to align our lives with His purposes. By embracing this posture, we open ourselves to the transformative power of gratitude. [05:37]

"Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord, and that he may send the Christ appointed for you, Jesus." (Acts 3:19-20, ESV)

Reflection: Consider an area of your life where you need to shift your perspective. How can you invite God's grace into this area and practice gratitude for His presence and guidance?


Day 3: Cultivating Humility and Grace
Gratitude is deeply connected to humility and grace. Recognizing that we are beneficiaries of God's grace, rather than entitled to it, allows us to experience joy and gratitude. Humility opens our eyes to the gifts we receive daily, fostering a sense of wonder and appreciation. By acknowledging our dependence on God's grace, we can cultivate a heart of gratitude that transcends our circumstances and leads us to a deeper relationship with Him. [07:11]

"But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." (James 4:6-7, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on a recent experience where you felt entitled to something. How can you shift your perspective to recognize it as a gift of grace and respond with gratitude?


Day 4: Surrendering Control to Embrace Grace
We often renounce grace, preferring control over surrender. Living in grace requires vulnerability and dependence, which are essential for cultivating gratitude. By surrendering our need for control and embracing God's grace, we open the door to a grateful heart. This act of surrender allows us to experience the fullness of God's love and provision, leading to a life marked by gratitude and joy. [08:34]

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV)

Reflection: Identify an area of your life where you are holding onto control. What steps can you take today to surrender this area to God and embrace His grace?


Day 5: Recognizing Life as a Gift
Life is a gift, and recognizing this truth fosters gratitude. By adopting a posture of open hands, open hearts, and open eyes, we acknowledge the gifts we receive daily, aligning ourselves with God's grace. This perspective allows gratitude to flourish, transforming our lives and relationships. As we embrace the gift of life, we are invited to live with a sense of wonder and appreciation, fully aware of the beauty and blessings that surround us. [10:11]

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." (James 1:17, ESV)

Reflection: Take a moment to reflect on the gifts you have received today. How can you express gratitude for these gifts and share them with others in a meaningful way?

Quotes


One reason is the negativity bias, an ingrained tendency we have to discount the positive and focus on the negative. Our brains are velcro for negativity and Teflon for positivity. We're all wired like that. Theologians might say that's because we're curved inward, but that's a barrier we face. [00:03:39]

Gratitude requires being awake to the present moment. It requires the whole person: the heart's awareness, the mind's recognition, and the will's choice. For those of us who have difficulty accessing our emotions, gratitude requires a new posture towards life, a posture of being aware and awake. [00:05:29]

Repentance, often seen as unpleasant, is redefined as rethinking your strategy for living in light of the opportunity to live now in the kingdom of God. It's a hospitality of the heart to God's heart, a new posture for all of us. Gratitude is easier said than done because it requires being awake. [00:06:02]

Gratitude involves a beneficiary who has done something good, a benefit that comes into my life, and a benefactor. Part of what that requires is humility. Anytime I think I've earned something, I'm not going to be grateful for it because I just take it for granted. [00:07:09]

Paradoxically, the humbler we are, the more joy we will experience. The more I will experience this opportunity that I get to talk with Rankin Wilborn about something significant is not something that I have earned or merited through my gifts. It is a gift from God for which I can be deeply grateful. [00:07:28]

Gratitude is tied to grace, even etymologically. We make a habit of renouncing grace. To live in grace requires living in a posture of vulnerability and dependence, a posture of surrender and receiving instead of control. We don't like living in that posture. [00:08:20]

Gratitude is impossible without a humble heart that lives in acknowledgment of the grace of God. That's a huge barrier in my life to living in a posture of gratitude. I like to be in control. I renounce grace because I'm afraid. [00:09:11]

Think for a moment about that phrase, the renunciation of grace. Instead of that, one of the words that Roman Robert Emmons talks about is gifted. Life comes as a gift, and of course, that word gift in the New Testament and grace are deeply connected as well. [00:10:05]

Be open to grace today. Spend a few moments even right now if you have the time and think about where is grace coming to me today. I cannot control my heartbeat, but it still beats. I cannot control the air, but breath still fills my lungs. [00:10:36]

I'm not the author of life, and yet life comes to me. I didn't make other people, but I have the chance for a friend like this one. Instead of renouncing grace today and trying to grasp control, adopt this posture: open hand, open heart, open eyes. [00:11:02]

Thank you, God. Thank you, thank you. My old friend Quigg used to say we have a lot to be grateful for. [00:11:23]

Gratitude is not as easy as it sounds. You have to deal with that negativity bias. It takes five positive comments to have the same weight emotionally for us as one negative comment. Most of us will wrestle with being more impacted by something negative than something positive. [00:04:14]

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Transcript
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