Embracing Grace: Resolving Family Conflicts Through Humility

And I believe that James is giving us some really good insights into what causes, these wars and these fights. And he asks the question, where do wars come from? Where do conflicts come from? And he says they come from your selfish desires. In other words, he gives us a reason. He says they come. He says, do they not come from your desires for pleasure? That war in your members? In other words, James is saying, you know, these wars and these conflicts that we have in our homes and our families, it comes from somewhere internally. It comes from within us. James is very brave. Blunt. And he suggests that these conflicts arise because of selfishness. [01:03:14] (40 seconds) Edit Clip


So he's saying that wars and conflicts arise because of hedonism. That's a terrible word for most of us who know the English language. We know the word hedonism. It speaks of something that's very, very negative. As a matter of fact, the word hedonism is the pursuit of pleasure, sensual self -indulgence. In philosophy, it's called ethical theory that pleasure in the sense of the satisfaction of desires is the highest good and proper aim of human life. [01:04:11] (31 seconds) Edit Clip


And I think that is what God wants of us as well. Amen. He wants to see that happen. You know, James also references the idea of praying with wrong. He says, yet you do not have because you do not ask. And you ask and you do not receive because you ask amiss that you may spend it upon your pleasures, upon your hedonism. So that's what you do. And you ask for certain things. And sometimes within the context of the church as well, we pray for things. And we understand, why isn't God answering my prayer? Again, James is saying that you ask amiss. You're asking for things that you shouldn't be asking for. And you're asking for things simply because you want to satisfy your own self. So your neighbor has a nice new car and you want a new car to go. So you get on your knees and you go fasting and praying so God could bless you with a new car so you could show off to your neighbor that you have one as well. Right? I don't know if that happens here. But that's kind of a little bit of a stretch. But yes, people do pray in ways that are contrary to what God wants. When we pray, we must always pray God according to your will. No matter what it is. We always assume that everything that we want is what God wants. [01:20:27] (66 seconds) Edit Clip


So when God starts to fix us, God starts to change us, you will find that automatically your situation starts changing. And you realize that something happens in your sphere of influence because God is dealing with you. And sometimes, believe it or not, we are the problem, even though we may look at everybody else and say they're the problem, sometimes we are the problem. Problems. And God might be saying something to you, well, you need to look at the man in the mirror, you need to look at your own internal things, right? So if the root of our conflicts, according to James, lies in our selfish desire for pleasure, what then is the solution? How do we fix this? How do we fix this? We are broken humanity. Since the fall, we fell like Humpty Dumpty, and all the king's horses, all the king's men couldn't put us back together again. So how do we get these conflicts resolved in our lives and our families? Well, James always gives us, and the Bible always gives us the answer. And right in the passage, we can see that the solution to our problems is right there in the scriptures. James gives it to us. Now, he talks about grace. [01:24:10] (65 seconds) Edit Clip


And he says, when we understand grace, and we need to understand grace, as people of God, we need to understand God's grace. I have a feeling, and I've always kind of thought that, you know, the church, the Christian church, we understand law very well. We know thou shalt not, but we don't understand grace. We don't have grace. We don't have the capacity to understand God's grace. And you see, when we understand God's grace, when you understand God's grace, you will look at everything differently. You see, because when we understand what God has done for us, and what He has done for us, you'll realize that the people around you, when they're messed up, and they have problems, and they get in your case, maybe they need an example of God's grace in your lives as well. And if God has done it for you, maybe He can do it for them as well. And we can see that happening. And I feel sometimes we don't understand God. We don't understand God's grace. You know, in Romans chapter 5 verse, it is that God demonstrates His love toward us. In that, I like that phrase, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Amen. [01:25:14] (60 seconds) Edit Clip


It says in Ephesians chapter 2, it says, For by grace you have been saved. Not by works, saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is a gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. So grace, grace is defined as the unmerited favor of God. That simply means that you didn't deserve it, but yet God gives it to you. There was nothing you did, but God said, you know what? I'm going to give you my grace. Grace to you. So it is a gift. You know that word grace in the New Testament, the Greek word is charis. And it means goodwill, loving kindness. Kindness, favor and the merciful kindness of God. That's what grace is. [01:28:06] (40 seconds) Edit Clip


And when he received a touch from God's grace, you see, he went through some things. He almost died. One time he almost drowned in a storm, but God saved him. And when he came back and he became a pastor and a songwriter, he wrote that beautiful hymn that endures with us all through these years. Amazing grace. How amazing it is that God will, look upon a sinner, a wretch like me and extend his hand towards me. See, that's what grace is all about. And when we understand that, it changes our perspective and how we look at the other person. [01:31:00] (35 seconds) Edit Clip


And God wants us. When we understand grace, we should also be gracious and be able to touch people with God's grace. You know, in Romans chapter 5 verse 20, it says, Moreover, the law entered so that the offense might abound. In other words, law comes so that there is sin. Right? He said, but where sin abounded, grace abounded. Grace abounded much more. Isn't that something where there is sin? And sometimes, again, when I say we don't understand grace, we don't understand that the more sin there is in the world today, the more sin there is in the world today, God's grace expands to cover that. That's the goodness of God's grace. And we need to understand that. You see, a lot of times we see it, and especially in our country, we feel it because there is sin. And because of there's all these things that's happening in our country today. If we get the right people in power, they're going to fix all those things. [01:32:30] (56 seconds) Edit Clip


So when we understand grace, it should bring us to a certain place in our lives. And what is that place that James wants us to understand when we understand grace? It should be brought us to a place of humility. He said, God resists the proud, but he gives grace to those who are humble. You know, humility is a hallmark of the life of Christ. If we are to grow up to be like him, we must learn what it means to be humble. You know, there are no prayers in scripture. You know, we can pray for a lot of things in scripture. But there's not a single prayer that I could find in scripture that says, Lord, make me humble. There's not a single incident, somebody coming for the Lord, make me humble before you. Every time we talk about humility in the Bible, it says. [01:35:54] (50 seconds) Edit Clip


And we don't know how to surrender our desires and our likes and our dislikes of what we want before God. But God can't use us. God can't use us. So we have to give up some things. Amen. We have to give up some things. [01:38:12] (14 seconds) Edit Clip